COMMON BY PHOENIX E
Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves
Relationship. Romance. Angst. Sam/Teal'c Friendship.
Allusions to the 'red herring' relationship.
aware things have changed for a couple of her team
mates causes Sam to contemplate making a few changes
of her own.
comes to mind
Originally completed and posted to the net 9 Apr
Trying something a little different this time out.
It's still J/D, but from a slightly other perspective!
because it refers to an existing romantic relationship
between Jack and Daniel, it is slash, however, it
is only talked about. Honest, they don't even
thinks he's being discreet. I guess if you want to be
strictly technical, he is. He most assuredly is.
There is absolutely nothing inappropriate, unbecoming,
untoward or - courts-martial-able - about the way he's
bandaging the scratch on Daniel's arm. Nothing incorrect
about the way he is touching him. Talking to him.
Nothing about anything in the colonel's behaviour to suggest
he has tender feelings for one of his team mates. In
unless you're willing to overlook the way he's looking
man could see how much the colonel loves him. And we're
not talking about fraternal love. It's funny, everyone
is always saying Daniel is the one with the eyes you'd cheerfully
die for. The one with his heart on his sleeve.
Lord knows I've certainly gotten an earful on the subject of
Daniel's eyes, not to mention just about every other part
of his anatomy from the ever-growing ranks of the smitten.
I've had more hopefuls take me aside, angling for an inside
track to the good doctor's affections than I even want
to think about. I've wished every single one of them well
knowing they didn't have a prayer. Now, more so than ever.
all those people mooning over Daniel's baby blues have never
seen what I'm seeing right now. You want to talk warm
glows and a sparkle melting you right in your boots, there's
nothing quite as amazing, or completely unexpected, as
the spectacle of Colonel O'Neill in love. I've served with
this man for four years and in all the time I've known him,
all the different faces he's worn, this is one I've never,
ever seen before. Neither has anyone else in the SGC.
Because up until he finally let himself in on his best-kept
secret and got together with Daniel, he's never been what
he is now. A man in love.
O'Neill is in love. Really in love. L-O-V-E. Truly
madly, deeply. Head over heels. All the
over-the-top, emotionally excessive clichés apply. He's
not turning cartwheels or acting any differently than he
usually does. When you first look at him, nothing's
changed. He's sitting there beside Daniel, as by-the-book
as you please, all properly kitted and turned out as The
Colonel and the Team Leader of SG-1, the same dedicated
professional I've always known him to be. Looking every
inch the career military man I've grown to respect and been
proud to serve with. He's still the colonel on the
outside. And yet, when he turns those eyes on Daniel, he
becomes someone I've never seen before. Someone I barely
recognise as - him.
in love. A man deliriously happy and in love. So
happy it's spilling out all over him, in his soft, fond
expression and his glowing, doting, completely smitten eyes.
Puppy dog eyes. Holy Hannah, the colonel isn't just in
love, he's absolutely besotted. Gone. Right out of
there. If he could see himself now he'd be making
I kidding? Anyone in their right mind would kill to have
this man looking at them the way he's looking at Daniel
right now. A way he's never, ever looked at anyone else
since I've known him.
that really was my first clue. The look. The one I'm seeing
now. The one I never got. No matter what I was
hoping, and for a while no matter what his mouth was saying,
the eyes, they don't lie. He might have sat there and
said those words, perhaps actually made himself believe
them for a time, but although he thought he meant what he
was saying - he didn't. It's all in the eyes.
never looked at me like that. Not even close.
Perhaps it was true in a way, what he said, he'd rather die
than lose me, but even so, he didn't love me. Not
like this. Not like he loves Daniel. Even when the
colonel was owning up to 'feelings'and we were playing the
little 'we can think about it but we can't do it' game we
had going there for a while, he would still look at Daniel
and that - light - that little extra something was
there in his eyes. It was there. And it was only there
when he looked at Daniel. The colonel was never in love
with me. I can see that now. Plain as day.
Listen to me, I can't even call him 'Jack' in my head.
Something else that should have told me, a long time ago,
I was barking up the wrong tree. What was I thinking? Was
I planning to call him 'sir' on our wedding night?
'That's all right, Major, we're married now, you can drop
the 'sir' stuff'. 'Only if you call me 'Sam' first, Colonel,
romantic, all right. Sets my heart all aquiver.
what it was all about for me? Romance?
Speculation? The what if - what would it be like,
factor? I'm not really sure. I know the idea of him
being in love with me appealed to me. He's a very attractive
man. And he's - yeah, there's the power thing. I'll admit
to that. I liked the idea I could make him feel that way
about me. It was flattering. Okay, it was a rush. I
enjoyed thinking I could make him want me, but he could
never have me. And now here we are, the tables have turned
and the shoe is quite firmly on the other foot.
it is, now that it's my turn to be the one on the
sidelines watching the action but not getting any - I
have to admit it doesn't feel too hot. What's more, it
says an awful lot about the kind of man - the kind of friend
Daniel is he made it through being
shut out by both of us without ending up hating either of
possible I didn't take it very well, at first, when I started
seeing the signs maybe the colonel didn't quite have the
'feelings' for me we all thought he did. Let's just say
Daniel handled being - pushed aside - a lot better than
I did. Especially as he ended up being the brunt of not
only the colonel's confusion, but mine as well. Daniel took
a lot of garbage from both of us, but thank goodness he
is who he is. He's never held a grudge, or let temporary
- immaturity - damage our friendship. He's one hell of
a nice guy. One of the reasons why the colonel loves him
But definitely strictly in the fraternal sense. I figure
one stroll down the 'never to be requited' path is enough
back to the path I did venture along for a time, I don't
really know if I was ever in 'love' with the colonel.
I'll admit to a crush, a certain envy, the belief if he
should want anyone it darned well should be me, but love?
It's not so easy to be honest with myself about this one.
I wasn't in any hurry to hand in my SG-1 patch and run
into his arms, that's for sure. Perhaps I should have been.
It's occurred to me I shouldn't have been quite so smug,
so sure of myself. It could be in my complacency I let
something really special slip through my fingers. Missed
my shot. Blew it. Perhaps…..
what good does it do, thinking like this now, it's all
rather academic. All I have to do is take one look at
those dancing brown eyes drinking in Daniel, that warm,
beguiling smile shining only for him to know whatever
I might have assumed was going on between the colonel
and I or counted on always being there until I made up
my mind whether or not I wanted to do anything about it
or with it - it ain't gonna happen.
expired, you snooze you loose. While you were counting
your chickens Daniel made off with the Silver Fox.
I know, I know, that's not really fair and it's assuming
a lot. It's assuming the colonel was 'mine' to begin with
and you know what - you should never make assumptions.
One of these days I'm going to practice what I preach. Okay,
being brutally honest with myself here, the truth is I
never had a chance. Fine. Great. What's the big deal, then?
You can't lose what you never really had and had no realistic
chance of ever getting. Still, it does hurt a little to
look into the eyes of what might have been and know the
colonel is never going to look at me like that.
for all of that, looking at the pair of them - at him -
I almost want to laugh. Who would have thought it?
Underneath that hard-nosed, tough as nails, no-nonsense,
bad-ass, 'don't mess with me I'm the Colonel' exterior
lurks a heart of pure marshmallow. The colonel is a softie.
Unbelievable. One look at Daniel and he's mush.
They're cute. They're happy. They look it, they
look good together. They're good for each other,
dammit ! I'm going to be happy for
them. I am! It'll take some time, but I am. I will be.
They'd do the same for me. They're the best reason I can
think of to stop churning up pointless regrets and move
Daniel bristles, trying to look annoyed at the colonel
fussing over him. "It's just a scratch. You don't
have to - I can do it myself!"
the colonel admonishes, his tone severe, business-like,
but his brown eyes crinkling, soothing. Melting. "Quit
your whining and sit still 'til I finish, here. You
should have said something. A scratch, even a little
one, you know how fast any injury can get septic in a climate
like this. You wanna lose an arm or something?"
rolls his eyes and scowls, but it's protest without conviction.
"Jack, I hardly think that's going to happen. It's
one little scratch, not a sucking chest wound, and it's not
worth holding the entire team up for. Besides, if you
hadn't goosed me and made me jump into that bush - "
motivational shove," the colonel corrects, a fond grin
quirking at his lip. "You were dawdling."
Daniel huffs, affronted. "I do not dawdle!"
it goes. Daniel is putting on his usual, stubborn show
of thwarted independence. His 'I can damned well take care
of myself I don't need Colonel Bossy O'Neill hovering over
me' requisite verbal objection to the colonel's blatant
doting. Saying he's annoyed whenever the colonel takes
care of him and shows him how much he means to him when
in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.
literally come alive under the colonel's attentions,
responding to his focussed affection with all the fragile,
blossoming wonder and disbelief of a kid who can't believe
he's finally received the one and only thing he's ever
wanted for Christmas. And Christmas is coming every day
of the year. It's too good to be true, but it is true.
He's not only getting everything he wanted, but it's even
better than he'd hoped.
in love is a much quieter wonder to behold. Subdued, but
every bit as passionate. He's equally radiant but it's
contained happiness, an internal light. You have to look
very closely to see it. You have to really know him to
understand how utterly contented and fulfilled he is.
And how profoundly thankful and appreciative he is of what
never takes his blessings for granted, and when he loves,
he does it all the way, with everything he has. His are
the eyes of deep, devout, unswerving devotion. Quietly
burning, never outwardly proclaiming, privately shining
for the only one they'll ever see. Completely oblivious
to other eyes looking at him. Seeing him transformed, unfolding
and in love, and not with them.
the only one who had hopes they'll never know the fulfilment
of. There is another who has waited in vain for a certain
pair of eyes to turn his way. I'm not sure what makes me
shift my focus from Daniel and the colonel to look over
at the tall, silent figure of our fourth, but as I watch
Teal'c standing stoically beside us and see the way he's
looking at Daniel...
our Jaffa friend and I have something in common. We both
know how it feels to be the one on the outside looking
in. Last across the finish line. Passed over. The one
not looked to when true love came calling.
If I hadn't
been so wrapped up in my own personal melodrama I would
have noticed this sooner. But I'm looking now, and what
I'm seeing is making me feel rather sad. Teal'c has been
nursing a few secret hopes of his own to his bosom. Right
now he's getting his own wake-up call, and it isn't any
easier to take. It's one thing to know it, quite another
to see it when the feelings are still so fresh, so raw.
When the disappointment, for all it is irrevocable, is so
for him. I really do. He looks like someone who could
use a friend. Funny, that's exactly the way I feel right
the children to their happy bickering and walk up to Teal'c.
As he turns to me his eyes lose some of their bleakness;
a welcoming light warms their blackness. "Major
Carter," he acknowledges me with in deep, velvety voice.
think we're going to be here for a while," I grin at him.
"I don't know about you, but watching Daniel and the
colonel fight isn't exactly my idea of a good time. What
do you say we leave them to it and scout up ahead a bit?"
Daniel one last, fleeting glance, then blinks and slowly
inclines his head, his large, full lips spreading in a
generous smile. "I would be honoured to accompany you,
Major Carter," he informs me gravely.
I doubt they'll even miss us," I say lightly, looking
slightly sideways at him as we walk.
staring straight ahead, a muscle lightly twitching in his
jaw the only outward sign he is betraying of any inner
turmoil. It suddenly dawns on me Teal'c has lost a lot
more than hope. He's alone again. Daniel is the only one
of us who had a personal relationship with all of us.
Who made the effort to be a friend to all of us. While
the colonel and I were playing 'come here, come here, go
away', Teal'c and Daniel got closer. They started spending
a lot more time together. Commiserating. Developing a
rapport. Maybe their reasons for coming together were different,
but they were friends all the same. It's possible they
will be again once the colonel calms down and gets a fraction
less territorial, but in the interim Daniel's free time
is pretty much spoken for.
whatever off-duty interaction Teal'c might have had with
the colonel has pretty much gone up in smoke for the time
being as well. Although from what I've been seeing between
them lately, there hasn't been a lot. They haven't exactly
been comfortable with each other except when we've been
out in the field together, and the main reason for that
is behind us getting his arm bandaged.
up to the same thing, though. Another door temporarily
closed to Teal'c, for as long as it takes both of them
to come to terms with their feelings for Daniel. And how
they feel about the other one having feelings for Daniel.
It'll happen. It'll take time, but it'll happen. If we
were talking about lesser men I'd be concerned. But the
three of them will sort it out. They care about each
other too much not to. But until they do, if Teal'c
needs someone to turn to, well, I guess that just leaves
option he might not easily avail himself of. Teal'c and
I, we've somehow never managed to connect in the way he,
the colonel and Daniel have. We've served together, learned
how to count on each other in the field, but we just never
got personal. We never got around to it, I guess. I'm
thinking all of a sudden I've been seriously missing out
and it's high time I did something about it.
all, now that Daniel and the colonel have each other, we're
both sort of left adrift. Something else we have in common.
Teal'c says finally. "They are content with each
for them," I say with feeling. "I don't know about
you, but life goes on, you know. What's more, I think
there's a lot more to it than I've been allowing myself
lately. You too, I'm thinking. If you don't mind
me saying so?"
not. I hope I'm right in what I'm seeing, and he won't
mind what I'm trying to do.
not," he tells me sincerely. His eyes are kind, but
sad. He's hurting, knows I am too, and it's not going to
go away in the blink of an eye for either of us but maybe,
what does the expression 'more than one fish in the sea'
mean to you?"
shared is a burdened lessened? We could give it a shot.
What do we have to lose if we share with each other?
it does not mean you also have an unfortunate fascination
with fishing," he returns as he regards me with a slightly
I grin back at him. "No way. Bores me
relieved to hear it." He is. I can tell.
Well, what do you know about that, we both don't like fishing.
It's a place to start.
Teal'c," I continue. "Has the colonel ever
taught you how to shoot pool?"
not," Teal'c replies, his tone a little lighter.
don't wonder," I laugh. "I have a feeling
you'd be a shark in no time."
at me again. His eyes are definitely warmer, less sad,
Verging on twinkling. "Has our conversation once again
returned to the subject of fishing?" he inquires
sort of, there are some parallels, some baiting, hooking
and reeling in can be involved, depending on the circumstances.
Tell you what," I declare as I slap him on the back,
"when we get back and get through why don't we check out
and grab a bite to eat. Then I'll take you to my
favourite place and show you the ropes."
a sudden I'm feeling rather weary of the SGC. I want to
shake the latest astrophysical conundrum out of my hair
and blow the joint. Turn my back on the whole damned deal
and just be a normal person for a day or two. See how
the 'ordinary' half lives. Hang out in a place where
they've never heard of Stargates, Sytem Lords or anything
with Naquadah in it. Have some fun with some pleasant
company. Get to know an old friend. Finally.
will - instruct me. In how to play pool?"
If you want to learn, that is."
you wouldn't mind doing it with me.
walking and turns to me. "I would be most grateful
for the privilege of your company, Major Carter. However
it would please you to spend some time."
I beam at him. He's got a great smile. He doesn't
do it a lot. Smile, that is. Shame. He
really should smile more. Maybe it's time he had more to
the way, when we're off duty - or any time even, I don't
mind, why don't you call me Sam. Or - Samantha. Whatever
works for you."
he smiles again and bows his head. Uh huh, definitely
a nice smile. Great eyes, too.
this is the start of a beautiful friendship. To hell with
what could have been. Life's too short to waste. There
are always possibilities when you have so much in common.
New beginnings, for starters.