DIRECTIVE BY PHOENIXE
||Jack and Daniel involved in a loving and committed
relationship, which usually involves sex.
||First Time, Angst, Drama, Hurt, Comfort
||Season 4 Second Story in the "Wild Side" Series.
Minor Spoilers for 'Need'.
||Another perspective of the events of 'Missing Link'.
||Violence, Language, Intense emotional situations.
||100 Kb Posted to the web 22 May 06. Originally completed
June 2003. Back in 2002? I wrote this wee story called "Missing Link."
I received some requests for follow-up story telling it from the other
participant's POV and finally got around to doing it a year or so later.
This story, along with a slightly revamped version of ML first debuted
in June 2003 in the JD Six Pack #2 zine by Yadda Press, The 'Wild Side'
series was also included in the Reprise in 2004, and now here it is online.
rat bastards, as soon as I get my hands
free every single one of these dirt bags
is going to be sorry they were ever
with El Scummo over there, the one
with the big mouth and the even fatter
of yours truly. At least I managed
to get one good punch in before Shit-head
and Company took me out.
can’t believe I let those losers land
I must be getting soft in my old age, got
water on the brain or something. I don’t care if
there were five of them, there’s no
way these freakin’ amateurs should
have got the drop on me.
If I’d been paying attention,
thinking with my brain instead of my….
gowan, say it, Jack.
Your dick, flyboy. You left your brains
in your shorts again. Instead of keeping
my mind on business where it should
have been it was happily fixated on
Daniel’s ass where it definitely had
no business being.
Even if I wasn’t working.
Which I was.
I was ogling my archaeologist when
I should have been watching the room. Keeping an eye on
the players, spotting the signs I should
have seen and would have if I’d been
looking there were some Mallik scum
buckets crashing the party with intentions
of making off with one of the guests
Oh lucky me.
I can’t believe I let myself get that
complacent. This is
I’ve been doing this how long?
Happy, laughing, smiling people,
all of that can mean squat in a split
second if someone inadvertently puts their
foot in it or spits in the wrong dish
There are no guarantees in this
I should know that by now. Do know that. Yet, I let myself
get caught with my pants down. Metaphorically speaking. No excuse, Jack,
no excuse whatsoever. You get sloppy,
you get stupid, you get shit like this
happening to you. I
guess I should consider myself lucky
they settled for dropping a sack over
my head and beating the crap out of
me and didn’t kill me in the bargain.
Now that would have been really
should get a big whack across the head for
this one. Over and above the ones I’ve
already gotten, that is.
Yeah, I damn well should. I should have been
Shouldn’t have let the happy
smiles and the free booze and Daniel’s
God, that ass…
I did; I let our success – Daniel’s
success - go to my head, let – let
wanting Daniel make me horny and stupid.
I’ve got to do something
about Daniel, either shit or get off the
crapper, get my head examined, get
the hell out of Dodge before I really
screw up – something! The next time
I get sucked into the libidinous zone
on company time someone could get killed.
I’m probably being a tad melodramatic
about the getting killed part. Yeah, sure,
the current situation doesn’t look
great, lured out, bonked on the head,
trussed up like a frigging Christmas
turkey, thrown on the back of a horse,
taken for a wee joy ride and then tossed
on this lovely cold, hard ground still
hog-tied while these dingdongs are
running around trying to find their
asses or something, but other than
possibly expiring from embarrassment
I don’t think I’m in any danger of
having anything more serious happening
to me in my immediate future than more
horse bouncing once these guys get
it together and we start heading off
again to wherever it is we’re supposed
to be heading off to. The chief rat boy
over there might be slightly ticked
off at me because I busted his nose
but from what I've overheard – they need
me alive. They
think they’re gonna use me to force
the SGC to play footsie with their
side and help them win this little
war they’ve got going with our hosts and
new allies – a war said new allies
interestingly enough completely forgot to
tell us about, mind you – so
while the Dirt Bag gang here might rough
me up a bit before they deliver me to
their bosses they’re not actually
allowed to do anything to me too
permanent, damaging, disfiguring or fatal.
it’s nice to be wanted, isn’t it?
I seem to be catching a break here. I’m not sure why
we’ve stopped, but it looks like they’re
setting up camp, building a fire, so
I guess we’re staying put for a while. I’m not exactly sure how long we were travelling; I was
a bit groggy when they first threw
me on the horse on account of being
whacked upside the head once or twice
so my time sense is a little – whacked
- as well, but the constellation the
natives call the Warrior is almost
directly overhead so that means it's
gotta be after midnight – no wait,
look where the moon is, way later than
that, crap, we've been traveling a fair
chunk of the night.
It can't be long 'til dawn.
hours since we left the palace, then. Great.
hours on horseback.
Not exactly going full bore, true,
but still, we've covered some ground
and put some distance between us and
My kids will have missed me by now;
they'll be hot on the trail. The tracking
at night thing, however, that could
be a problem.
They’ll be looking, though,
youbetcha, but whether they’ll be
heading in the right direction or not, no
way to be sure.
let's not overlook the fact we are stopping,
and it looks like we're staying put
for a spell and wherever we are, it's
not exactly my first choice for a place
to take a breather if I knew for a
fact a posse was on my tail. We should be hotfooting
it right back to their base and their
other pals, but instead we're stopping
– here. Why?
This isn't a defensible position,
there are only five of them, they have to know
my kids and the SGC aren't exactly
gonna take this lying down and my people
will come after
me. Either they're
dumber than dirt or…they know something
I don't know making them pretty confident
they don't have to concern themselves
with any possible pursuit and for some
reason they don't consider my kids
anything they have to worry about.
my, now that's a nasty thought. And unfortunately
becoming more and more unpleasantly
plausible while I play dead here and
pretend I'm still out so I can covertly
watch these bozos.
They’re swaggering around like
they haven't got a care in the world;
they're mighty sure of themselves which
says to me they definitely have
some intel they're not sharing, like maybe
they know the chances of anyone coming
after us – and me – including my kids
– maybe I shouldn't be holding my breath
because it ain't gonna be happening
any time soon.
Crap. Let's hope I'm wrong
on this one and the cavalry is on its
way and these guys are simply too stupid
to realise they should get their chicken
safe behind enemy lines before they
pull over and gloat about plucking
I'd definitely prefer to vote for the too
stupid to live option but in the meantime
just for fun let’s assume I’m all on
my own here.
I might be tied up at the moment
but that’s a small technicality I’m
working on while I’m lying here
pretending to be unconscious. Which so far seems
to be working because none of the bozos
are paying attention to me. Once the ropes are
off the gloves are coming off too. These mutts I can
handle, but just in case, before anyone
else who doesn't have my best interests
at heart shows up and starts really
stacking the deck against me I’d better
get a move on with the Houdini routine.
huh, just like I thought, amateurs.
I don’t know who tied these
knots but they shouldn’t quit their
day job. God,
I’ve been kidnapped by a bunch of farm
boys with delusions of thug-hood. They’re making enough
noise if my kids are anywhere within
a ten mile radius, and I'm hopin' they
are, they should be able to zero right
in on us. Why
don’t you send up a flare while you’re
at it? Bozos!
getting somewhere here.
These ropes are starting to give. Shouldn’t be long
now. I get my
hands free and on that nice sturdy
branch conveniently lying about three
feet behind me and it’s bedtime for
all these bonzos. They’ve
only got knives. No
Five to one? Bring it on. I’ve
got to start earning my rep here and these
yutzes have pissed me off enough I’m
gonna totally enjoy cracking their
happy thought has barely finished firing
my imagination when the back of my neck
starts pricking; that itchy, scratchy
feeling I get tells me I’ve got eyes
There’s something out there in
the forest watching us.
I stop working the ropes and
freeze, opening my eyes a crack to see
if I can see what I’m feeling. Might as well have
saved myself the effort. It’s blacker than
shit out there beyond what little light
the fire is throwing out. Nothing but an inky
wall textured with the murky shapes
of trees. Trees,
trees and more trees.
But somewhere in the midst of all
that arboreal dubiousness – we got
company. Don’t have to be able to see ‘em
to know they’re there.
Something else I know; whatever is
out there – they’re dangerous.
My spidey sense is wailing big
we got more trouble on P3G yadda yadda.
Peachy. Just what I need
while I’m still temporarily inconvenienced
is something with nasty pointy teeth
slavering in the shadows eyeing me
up for its next meal with nothing between
me and being brunch but the amateurs
of the hour who’ll probably scream
like girls and run for their lives
the second something big and scary
pokes its head out of the bushes and
eaten will definitely ruin what’s left
of my day so I’d better stop lying
around here bleeding and get these damned
Houston, we have separation. Now, all I have
“Kalkawt! What are you doing?”
Crap! Just my luck, rat
boy’s picked this particular moment
to cast an eye in my direction. And if the scowl on his face and that big honking knife
he’s pulling are anything to go by,
he’s none too happy with what he’s
Which is me, about to work my
damned hands free.
Oh my, what a revolting development
I know I said before I didn’t
think they’d kill me but the ugly mug
coming toward me looks pissed enough to
severely shake my faith in that particular
premise and his knife ain’t exactly
filling me with confidence for my future
– kumquat yerself,” I spit at him as I
roll on my back, preparing to defend
myself the only way I can.
The ropes around my wrists are
loose enough to slip out of, if I had
the time, which I don’t and my feet
– definitely still tied. Won’t stop me from
kicking his head in though, if he gets
close enough to give me half a chance.
won’t be shivvin’ me if I have
anything to say about it.
damned lucky I don’t have a paper clip,
you yutz, or you’d already be dead.
shot and the scream happen on the heels of
The former threat looming on my
horizon is clapping his hands to what’s
left of his head as he keels over like
the so much dead meat he now so is
and I’m whipping my head around in
the direction of the muzzle flash sparking
from the tree line I saw out of the
corner of my eye. I
can't see anyone but that was a pistol shot. 9 mil. No question.
kids are here!
don’t even have time to shout ‘Woo hoo’
before the pistol barks again.
Another shot, flaring in the
blackness, more screams then a gawd
awful roar and I’m knocked out
of my socks as Daniel tears out of
the darkness towards us, firing and
howling like he’s totally out of his
Daniel? My God, what’s going
on, here, not that I’m not glad to
see you or anything but holy crap –
he’s loping thisaway like a shrieking
juggernaut of vengeance yowling and
picking off farmboys with an ease that'd
be giving Annie Oakley a serious case
of pistol envy – Jesus he’s already
popped three of my former playmates,
making ‘em history before they even
knew their number was up and he’s still
coming, still screaming and taking
a bead on the last gibbering wreck
of what’s left of the dirt bag gang.
all happening so fast and yet it's like
I’m swimming through syrup, everything
I’m seeing is so damned surreal. Especially Daniel
closing on me, pistol a 'blazing, drenched
in drying blood I’m hoping isn’t his,
foaming at the mouth and spitting hysterical
eyes – oh my God, his eyes!
They’re wild, crazed
and oh, so wrong, and they’re scaring
the crap out of me because I’m suddenly
getting a serious case of deja view
and this is one particular memory I’d
just as soon not be flashing back on.
Not now, not ever.
isn’t the first time I’ve seen Daniel
behind a gun aimed at my head and
completely out of his, crap, I’ll never
forget that insane, murderous stranger in
that darkened storeroom though God
knows I’ve tried and I’m just as unsure
of what he’ll do now as I was for longer
than I care to think about back then. I honestly don't
know if he even sees me; he's that
far gone and downright frigging scary
and what's worse, I haven't a clue
if I’ll be able divert him from this
slay ride he’s on and stop him before
he kills every last soul in this camp
– including me – prior to coming back
to his senses.
“Daniel!” I desperately yell
at him not even sure he’ll hear me
he’s so deep in berserker mode.
this is really bad, he’s way
worse than when he was hopped up on the
I don’t know what’s got him
flying higher than a kite now, but I’m
scared nearly badly enough to be pissing
myself at the sight of my peace-loving,
wouldn’t normally hurt a fly,
mild-mannered archaeologist back in
homicidal junkie mode and…armed. Especially as he’s
already wasted three men right in front
of me in the space of a few heartbeats
without even blinking and if that blood
all over him is anything to go by he
kicked off his killing spree by offing
the scum bag who’d gone to take a leak
in the bushes.
Daniel, there’d better be enough of you
left in there that still likes me because
I’ve got no special desire to be adding
my creaky old carcass to the body count
you’ve already racked up this evening. And somehow, nuts or not, I don’t think that’s what you
getting to him, he’s not hearing me,
he’s gonna waste the last weasel,
can’t let him, have to make him hear me,
see me, stop.
I yell at him again.
time my yell yanks him like he’s on a
chain and he shudders to a wrenching halt. He’s stopped running,
but he’s still shaking, his entire
body twanging with adrenaline and the
God only knows what else he’s got swimming
around in his blood stream. For a second he stands there, madly staring like he’s
horribly confused, been knocked off
his trolley midstream and he’s not
quite sure where he is, what he is
or what he’s supposed to be doing next. Basically still
a long way from normal but hopefully,
well, hopefully now he's not baying
for blood he'll be a little easier
those mad blue eyes swing my way and in
their icy, feral depths I see nothing but
Nothing else, no spark of
recognition, no trace of the gentle,
rational soul I know as Daniel Jackson. In his place is
the unreasoning, savage thing I
sensed out there, not a man but a primal,
murderous beast driven by homicidal
rage and a huge whacking hunger to
waste everything in sight.
those bloodthirsty eyes rake over me I’m
thinking drawing their focus has been a
huge mistake we’re both going to regret
if and when Daniel ever comes down
Only thing is, he’s going to be
the only one alive to do the regretting.
God, oh crap, Daniel, Daniel – wherever
the hell you’ve gone, I need you to come
Need you now!
Come on buddy, I know you’re in
You don’t want to do this; you
don’t want to shoot Jack, that’s a
“Jack?” Daniel suddenly
bleats, a tragically plaintive sound
as he blinks and shakes his head, looking
damned lost and confused. That’s my boy; I
knew you were in there somewhere.
that’s right, come on down, Dannyboy. Jack's here, and
I'm gonna look after you.
Just – just trust me okay?
standing there staring at me, breathing
heavy, swaying back and forth. He's looking, I
think he's seeing,
but whatever, I've got his attention
and I’ve hooked a piece of him, now
I’ll reel him in. Easy
to poppa, Danny.
Danny, it’s me.
Take it easy buddy,” I gently
coax while he continues to waver over me,
swaying drunkenly and waving the gun
around, blinking with bewilderment, his
horrible confusion tearing at me. I
want to help him in the worst way but
I'm still tied up down here, and he's
up there, skittish, uncertain and as
like to bolt still as look at me. Somewhere behind
us the last erstwhile terrorist has
finished pissing his pants and is crawling
off into the forest, saving his ass
while the getting is good but he's
no longer my concern.
I can’t allow myself to be
distracted from Daniel.
I’ve got him on the line, but
only barely, I can’t risk him slipping
the hook and boinging off into the whacko
zone again, especially not as long as
he’s still got the gun and I don't.
not out of the woods yet, and I’m not
trying to be funny, here.
can stop now, Danny,” I smile at him. “Put the gun down,
you don’t need it now. No more killing, okay? Just
– just put it down.”
“Jack?” Daniel gulps again,
his wild eyes sparking as they start
to pool. I don’t
know if he’s understanding what I’m
saying because he just stands there
staring at me with those big, dumb,
wounded eyes. He's
gasping and shaking, his mouth hanging
open, his face an agony of bewilderment,
the gun dangling from his hand.
the gun down, Danny.” I tell him softly,
holding his gaze.
think I’m okay now.
He’s still nuts but he isn’t
He’s looking, seeing, listening.
Maybe still not quite understanding
yet, but I can tell while there's still
a chance he might start yodelling and
running amok through the shrubbery
again, he’s not gonna shoot me.
then, as I see the way he’s looking at
me I realize the shooting me thing was
never an option no matter how it appeared
there for a bit.
He was never going to hurt me. He never would –
not any more now than he would have
back then, even if he was off his nut
both times. I
don’t know how he got in this condition
and out here alone or why the heck
Carter and Teal’c aren’t with him –
one crisis at a time for crying out
loud - but he didn’t come here to hurt
– he came after me to rescue me, he –
he sobs again, the gun slipping from his
shaking fingers and plummeting to the
He bounds toward me, whipping his
knife out and giving me another momentary
fright until it dawns on me what he
intends to do.
Through this entire surreal deal
although I could have easily worked
myself free I haven't, I’ve been sitting
here like a stunned, trussed up dork
and haven't made a move to get these
Daniel is coming to my rescue,
he’s meaning to cut me loose not cut me
do you want from me, it’s been a pretty
And it’s not over yet.
drops to his knees beside me and the next
thing I know I’m getting the crap hugged
out of me.
I can’t do much more but let him
as his arms squeeze the air out of my
lungs and he babbles some gibberish
in my ear.
He’s still not speaking in
English and that worries me some, but
although I can’t make out the words,
there’s no mistaking the tone.
I’m damned glad to see you too.
You have no idea.
still not letting go of me and yapping a
blue foreign streak while he reaches
around me for the ropes ‘round my
Between the two of us fumbling we
get them off and then he turns to my
That’s when I finally get a good
look at his knife and from the amount of
gore caked on the blade not to mention
decorating his BDUs telling a tale I'm
betting is none too pretty.
Daniel, I hope you don’t remember any of
For your sake I hope whatever
you’re high on kills every brain cell
containing a memory of this night before
you come back online again.
know you don’t know which end is up
right now and you’re certainly not
responsible for what you just finished
doing, but you’ll hardly let that stop
you from working yourself over good when
you are. If once
you’re over this you remember…
cuts the cords around my ankles with one
swift slice, flings the knife and then
he’s grabbing me again, hugging me
fiercely, his voice cracking and breaking
over the unfamiliar syllables he’s
sobbing into my neck.
Now my hands are free I can
hug him back and I haul him in close,
trying to calm him down. He’s shaking like
a jumping bean with the DTs, clutching
at me like his life depends on hanging
on and not letting go.
Danny, take it easy,” I tell him,
stroking his hair and rocking him. My mind is racing
while I’m keeping up the petting and
the comforting patter. I can’t risk him
freaking on me again and bolting. If he gets away from me God only knows what he’ll do and
the way I’m feeling after being bounced
around by the newly deceased scumbags
I’d never catch him, especially in
And then there’s Carter and
Teal’c – they’re so not here and
there’s no way they would have let
Daniel go screaming off into the blue in
this kind of condition if they were in any
shape to prevent it so what that
could possibly mean…
he feels good and his hair smells so….
God's sakes, Jack, get a grip!
The guy's so strung out he's
shaking apart, we're out in the woods,
Daniel's out of his head, might even
be dying for all you know, you've
got to get him back, get him some help
and you've got two other team members
unaccounted for this is not the
time to be wasting time getting off
or even thinking this way, I
should let go now, get my ass in gear,
get us both home. Let
go, Jack. Still on the job, remember, and the job's
not done yet.
Daniel, don't wanna let go want –
Certainly not now, probably not
on, Daniel,” I softly urge him.
"Let’s go home now,
grunts belligerently, breaking free of my
hold so vehemently he almost bowls me
I don’t have long to teeter
‘cause all of a sudden he’s grabbing
my face, his fingers clenched and almost
clawing around the back of my skull as he
hauls me toward him, his feral eyes
glinting madly in the darkness.
He growls again, his gaze searing straight
into me and although I don’t get what
he’s just said, what’s smoking in his
eyes I have no trouble reading.
pupils are wide and wild, dilated with
desire, dripping with quite another
Not for blood, this time but the
need they're screaming with is just as
basic, primal and undeniable.
is eating me alive with his hungry gaze
and I’ve barely had time to adjust to
this sudden change of appetite when his
mouth is clamped to mine and he keeps
right on following it, his weight sending
me crashing to the ground with him
leaping on top of me and pinning me
flat with his considerable presence.
heavy and horny.
stunned, stupidly immobile and sprawled
breathless and reeling beneath a hundred
and eighty pounds of panting, heaving,
packing a boner the size of a sledgehammer
and the hottest mouth this side of
a supernova. While
I may be shocked stupid this is happening
I’m not sorry, although dammit, I know
I should be. Not
because he’s kissing me and trying
to drill me blind through both our
drawers but because he’s doing it while
– well, while once again he doesn’t
know what the fuck he’s doing even as
he's so fuckingly enthusiastically
- um - doing me.
I shouldn’t be digging this,
taking advantage of his hopped up state by
letting him take advantage of me, I should
be fighting him off, making him
stop…stop…oh God…don’t stop,
a bad, bad, terrible, awful man and a
greedy, selfish bastard in the bargain; I
I want him as much as he wants me,
whatever part of his anatomy is in the
driver’s seat at the moment and believe
me, I know exactly what I’m
him right back.
Clutching him, feeling him,
clamping my hands on his hot, twitching
ass helping him grind into me good, it’s
so damned good, I don’t care if
he’s crazy I’ve buried this itch so
deep for so long and now, oh yeah,
It hurts so good, such a
blessed burn, we’re both grunting and
rolling and kissing and tearing and
I don’t care about anything else but
his hot, hungry mouth clamped to mine
while our mutual erections are having
one incredible close encounter. Again and again and….
can feel the gates of paradise rising up
to meet me when Daniel gives out this
strangled groan and after a scary,
god-awful shudder he flops down on top of
me, limp and unresponsive. I shake him, hard,
but he’s out of it.
by how ominously still he is I quickly
roll him off me.
He slumps over to the ground,
lifeless and still scarily inert and I’m
scrambling up to check him out, cursing
myself all the while for losing control
not only of myself but the situation,
for letting things get so out of hand
and go so far, letting him get so worked
up while he was still – goddamit if
he’s had a stroke or blown a blood
vessel or something –
Freaking comatose. His skin is
clammy and he feels too hot.
His breathing is shallow and his
pulse is racing.
This is not good.
I’ve gotta get him back to base. ASAP.
grab for Daniel’s comm praying for
whatever reason Carter and Teal’c have
not been a part of the action so far
they’re back online now.
Daniel needs help and so do I.
“Carter!” I bark into the
comm. “Teal’c! Report!”
stop transmitting and wait.
Get nothing back.
I’m trying not to think what that could
mean as I jump to my feet and frantically
Like I said before, one crisis at
Please, please, please cut
me a break here it’ll take me all
frigging night to get Daniel back to the
gate if I have to carry him –
one of my late abductors was a better farm
boy than he was a terrorist. Most of the horses
have bolted, spooked, no doubt by the
shots, but one of ‘em is still securely
tethered, just over yonder.
in the process of hauling Daniel up off
the ground so I can cart him over to the
beastie when his comm squawks in my ear
nearly giving me a heart attack.
lay Daniel carefully back down on the
ground and fumble with his comm again. Dammit, my hands
are shaking, my fingers stuttering
all over the frigging place. I finally manage to key the damned transmitter and then
can barely get the words out my stupid
throat is so tight.
“Teal’c!” I gobble. “Where the hell
is good to hear your voice, O’Neill.
The big guy’s voice crackles
into the still – oh my God, look at
that, the frigging sun is starting
to rise so I guess that would technically
make it early morning - air.
Carter and I are still in the palace. I presume you are
I cut him off.
“I’ve got him here with me.
Where that is, though, I’m not
I got extended an invitation to
another party the Malliks were most
insistent I not refuse, and they weren’t
particularly interested in how I felt
about the whole thing. Daniel tracked us
down and let’s just say they’re no
longer a problem. And
you? How you
doin’ by the way?”
not gonna ‘fess up to Teal’c I got
suckered by the oldest trick in the book. The Mallik equivalent
of ‘phone call for Colonel O’Neill’. The bastards got
me out of the banquet by whispering
in my ear Hammond had to talk to me
ASAP at the gate and the second I stepped
out of the hall – whammo.
hoping his story is even better than mine.
Mallik contingent which accosted you is
also undoubtedly responsible for the
events which have overtaken the banquet
Oooh. Don’t like the sound
of that. What
I said before about a better story? I take it back.
“Carter?” I blurt out, apprehension
twisting in my gut.
is unharmed, O’Neill. Teal’c’s
com-distorted but still dammed impressive
voice hastens to inform me. As are our
she and the remainder of the Abandi
remain in a deep sleep.
As I was also affected I surmise
the ritual libation we were all obliged to
partake of to bless the meal contained a
soporific of sufficient potency to
incapacitate even my symbiote for a time.
whatever the hell it was – something
that could knock Teal’c for a loop –
God, no wonder Daniel’s been tripping! But wait a minute,
why only him, Teal’c said everyone
else is sleeping it off. Oh crap, maybe he
got an overdose or something!
stuff was strong enough to get by Junior? That could explain
a lot. Listen,
Teal’c if there’s any of the doped
drink still around bag it, tag it and
get a message to Hammond.
We could have a serious problem on
our hands when everyone wakes up.
Before he passed out Daniel was
higher than a kite on something and I’m
guessing it was whatever the Mallik
spiked the drinks with. I don’t know if
everyone else who drank some is going
to wake up out of their heads too,
but in any case, the Doc will want
a sample and I want some medics on
site. I’m on
my way in with Daniel and you’d better
tell Janet to get ready for him. He's not looking
break off, and look down at Daniel.
He’s hasn't moved or so much
as twitched; he's lying at my feet
sprawled and insensible, lightly panting,
his skin pale and glistening with a
luminous layer of sweat. I run my finger
carefully across his mouth, brushing
away the moisture beading across his
upper lip and his eyelids don’t even
I’ve got to quit flapping my lips
and get him back.
bringing Daniel in now,” I grate,
snatching my hand away from his face and
forcing down every thought that could
possibly distract me from what I have to
sure they’re ready for him. O’Neill out.”
don’t wait for his confirmation.
I don’t need to. Teal’c will take
care of things on his end. I’ll do what needs
to be done on mine.
really quiet in here now Daniel has
screamed himself to sleep.
dig the heels of my hands into my burning
eyes and squish my eyeballs until those
little sparkly thingees start decorating
the insides of my eyelids. I waste a few seconds
watching the interior fireworks and
then I take my hands away, groping
with eyes still closed until I find
Daniel’s arm. I
don’t want to look at the straps my
fingers brush against as they move
down his arm so I don’t, keeping my
eyes screwed shut while I rest my forehead
on the bed, my fingers entwining with the
ones they’ve finally discovered at the
end of the arm they’ve been stroking
here too and it bites.
They’ve got Daniel
trussed up and strapped down like he’s
some kind of frigging animal. Not that they had
much choice, but it still bites.
days go, this one has really sucked. By
the time I’d figured out where the hell
the palace was mostly by letting the horse
do the driving Carter had already been
carried through the gate and the medics
were keeping an eye on the other folks
still sleeping it off. Daniel wasn’t any
better but he didn’t seem to be any
worse. He was still unconscious, but that all changed
the first time Fraiser tried to get
some blood out of him.
I’d been thinking he was nuts before… God, the way he
dove for Fraiser’s throat snarling
and spitting – if Teal’c and I hadn’t
been right there to hold him back –
I don’t wanna think about it.
took three of us to hold him down while
they got the straps on.
- well, it was just really bad, and
let’s leave it at that, shall we?
Howling and snarling and whatever the
hell he was jabbering – my name was
in there a lot but the rest of it –
Teal’c said it was Abydonian, sort
of, but it mostly wasn't making any
sense and neither was Daniel. That's what the
big guy claimed anyway, but the way
my Jaffa brother was glaring at me
while Daniel raved and screamed my
name a lot in between the alleged incomprehensible
Abydonian, I think it’s a damned good
thing for both of us whatever Daniel
was saying, he wasn’t saying it in
that Teal’c was lying his ass off.
has been pretty much howling his head off
ever since. That
is until he finally passed out about an hour ago from
There’s not much they can do for
him but let the alien crap work its way
out of his system.
Everyone else, Carter included,
woke up after a ten hour forced nap a
little hung over but otherwise okay but
the Malliks slipped everyone for some
reason it hit him like some kind of alien
His senses seem to be unnaturally
heightened as well and any sort of sensory
simulation, however minimal…
constant overload is significantly
contributing to his freak out factor. Fraiser has no idea
why the drug had a different effect
on him than everyone else, maybe he’s
allergic to one of the ingredients
or it was some sort of bad reaction
with the shots he takes for his allergies,
could be frigging anything. Bottom line, they
don’t know. It’ll
work its way out of his system eventually
and then he’ll be okay. Himself again.
least, that’s what Janet is saying,
but she can’t absolutely guarantee
snarfing this stuff hasn't screwed up his
brain for good meaning he'll be
We won't know until after it clears
and he wakes up.
he wakes up.
Hopefully sane and himself again.
been trying not to think about that. Not that I don't
want him to wake up, of course I do,
it's just…because of what happened
– out there – what never would have
– never should have…
give Daniel’s hand a squeeze and lift
my head up so I can look at him.
He’s so peaceful now, breathing
deeply, looking deceptively serene, his
cheeks slightly flushed, hair tousled and
darkly damp against the pillow.
so damned gorgeous it hurts.
It really does, you know.
you know what it feels like to look at
someone who’s so…see them every day,
work with them, fight with them, be
practically in each other’s pockets day
after day, year after year, laughing,
right there, right in front of you and yet
for as close as you are, constant
companions, bosom buddies, best friends
to the end there’s this line you can’t
cross, don’t dare even think about
stepping over, for oh, so many reasons
none the least of which is you’re a
so is he.
there we more than crossed it, but it
doesn’t count. I knew
what I wanted – I made a choice but Daniel…
got to put it all behind me forget –
forget everything that happened out there. I don’t know how,
mind you, but I’ve got to. It’s the only decent
thing to do. Daniel
couldn’t possible have meant any
of it, I mean, he’s no more – that
way – that I’ve seen than he’s normally
capable of killing without caring. The rampage he went
on, blowing away the Malliks without
batting an eye, that was down to the
stuff he was high on.
was the rest of it.
All part of the same bad trip. I have to put the
whole – interlude - behind me. Lock the recollection
up tight in my box of repressed memories
and walk away.
It won’t be happening again. I have to forget
– forget his taste and his smell and
how fucking incredible his skin feels,
the sounds he makes when you touch
him, how he shivers when you bite his
can’t happen again.
I have to forget.
– not yet.
hand is shaky as I reach out and cup his
cheek, ever so gently, just to feel the
sleeping softness of his skin one last
time. I’m sure
he won’t mind. This
is the last time, I promise, Daniel. I won’t look for what you can’t give, won’t ask –
not your fault I love you, but I’ll
never blame you because I do.
stroke my thumb across his cheek and his
eyelids abruptly flutter, reacting to my
I didn’t mean to wake him I
his gentle, sleepy voice washes over me,
caressing me like a prayer, making me
shiver with the exquisite pain of
impossible desire. I
want everything I can never have even more,
especially as his eyes slowly open,
glowing with a dopey, gently confused
want to kiss them closed again, hold him
in my arms, rock him carefully to sleep,
feel his heart beat next to mine.
God, how I want…
“Jack,” he mumbles drowsily again,
a slow, lazy smile blooming across
his face as he turns his head into my
hand, nuzzling his cheek against my palm.
His eyes close and he drifts off
once more and I’m glad he’s gone,
he’s safely sleeping and he’ll never
know – never see.
never see me cry.
know what I said a couple of days ago,
what I promised myself – promised him,
but I don’t know if I’m going to be
able to do it. Good
intentions may be paving roads from here to hell’s
half acre and that’s about all mine are
good for because every time I look at him
all I can think, feel, want…
crossing that damned line I have no idea
how to mosey on back to my former state of
keeping all these thoughts and desires
buried deep in my repressed and
Now I've had a taste of him even
keeping my distance does squat for
making the wanting go away, only makes
the problem briefly less…pressing. For the last three
days I’ve had a hard-on that only periodically
ebbs and recedes but never completely
fucks off and dies.
I can’t keep avoiding him forever. Not
and still keep him on my team.
in my life.
am so screwed.
Shut the fuck up I know what I just
tried to put the whole…incident…behind
me; I really have, swear to God. As soon
as I knew for sure he was going to be
okay I took off and stayed away from
him, for all the good it did me. Mister Happy has
been downright confused. For the last four
days he's been all dressed up with
nowhere to go. Fuck. I gotta stop thinking
Might as well stop breathing. Can’t do that either.
– maybe it’s just too soon.
The memories are still too recent
and – and pressing.
With a little more time and distance I’ll be able to settle
down, put it away again. For good. I just need a week,
two, ten, three hundred and forty five,
all the time I've got left and I can
do it. I'll
be able to forget I ever held him,
kissed him, felt –
be okay, I'll lick this thing.
I’ll be able to look at him
without wanting to throw him to the
frigging ground and bury my dick in his
You’re pretty good
at lying to yourself, aren’t you Jack? It’s been four days
since that night and the ache is getting
worse, not better.
Distance is definitely making
the dick get harder.
The more I try and deny it the
more I want him.
laugh my ass off if the whole thing wasn't
so fucking tragic.
don’t know why I should be so surprised;
I’ve always been pretty much the
contrariest bastard who ever drew breath,
except for him.
Daniel can definitely give me a run
for my money in the 'stubbornest shit
in the universe' sweepstakes. But I'm right up
there in the top ten with the best
of them. It’s
one of my gifts.
extremely talented in the 'totally
screwing up my life' department.
from where I'm sitting, it looks pretty
screwed up indeed.
Or should I say by looking at
Exhibit A, one archaeologist who
definitely hasn't been going out of his
way to make my re-acquaintance once he
reacquired his senses.
Daniel says he doesn’t remember what
happened on 956 but you know what, he’s
a frigging liar.
My proof? When he woke up more or
less sane again Daniel couldn't have
helped but notice I was conspicuous
in my absence, but he didn’t ask for
me. Not once. He
didn’t look for me when I wasn’t there
with him in the infirmary and he’s not
looking at me now he’s sitting in my
truck silent and staring out the window
while I drive him home. Not one glance,
not a single word.
Not since we walked out of the
infirmary together side by side but with a
distance between us making a hollow, empty
space in my chest where my heart used to
remembers, all right.
I don’t know whether he’s
ashamed, disgusted or a combination of the
aforementioned but whatever he is, looks
to me like it’s pretty much a given
the last person he wants to be around
right now is yours truly.
can’t leave it like this.
I can’t lose it all.
Maybe I’ll never have him –
that way – ever again but if there’s
even the slightest chance I can fix
this mess so at least I don’t lose
his respect and his friendship…
gotta do something even if I do suck at
extend a cautious verbal feeler.
"Hey. You okay?"
shoulder twitches slightly at the sound of
my voice, but he stays clamed up tight,
staring out the window. Oh boy, this is
worse than I thought. He’s never, not
the whole time I’ve known him, completely,
deliberately frozen me out like this.
not taking it lying down.
Excuse me while I get my mind out
of the gutter, regroup and try again.
extending once more.
This time the tone of my voice
making the non-responsive thing not
exactly an option.
look at me!”
takes a while, and feels like forever, but
he finally turns, eyes averted, his colour
I can see him drawing in on himself
as he braces for the eye contact thing. He’s going through with it, he’s going to face me but
everything about him is screaming he’d
rather be anywhere else but here.
again, like it always does his bravery
blows me away even while knowing why he
has to be breaks my heart.
finally dares to dart a glance my way and
of all the things I thought I’d see in
his eyes – fear?
No – that’s not quite right but
it’s close, but – dammit what’s
going on here he’s sweating, breathing
hard and –
crap, way to go, O’Neill, keep your
frigging eyes on the road.
Driving here, you moron! I’d better pull
over before I do something stupid like
head the truck off the side of the
be one solution to the problem but
not my first choice.
can feel Daniel’s eyes on me, burrowing
into me like he’s trying to get into my
I see a half decent spot of
shoulder ahead and aim the truck toward
we’ve stopped I leave the motor running.
Daniel, you’ve got my undivided
I know it ain’t worth much, but
such as it is, I’m all yours.
turn toward him, the seat belt chafing my
shoulder like it's trying to hold me back. I suddenly, desperately
need to do something to stop this –
urge – ripping through me to reach
out and grab him so I grab the wheel
with my left hand, clamping my fingers
around it as if holding onto anything
would save me from
the next stupid thing I want to do
which is chew my way through the seatbelt
with my bare teeth and leap across the cab
and – and - but I'm letting the belt and
the wheel hold me back and I manage, just
barely to make my right hand behave too. Picking a bit of lint off the back of the seat here, tidy,
must keep things neat and tidy, yup,
I’ll just get this, won’t take a
minute, can’t have lint messing up the
seat, okay, Jack, stop being such a
damned chicken shit, you started this
and you’re not backing out, not now
- look at him for God’s sake!
know why I’m stalling.
If I look at him, he’ll see right
He always does, knows what I’m
thinking and now – this – it’s so
huge, it has to be scrawled in big, stinky
letters all over my face not to mention
what’s happening in my pants – oh great,
now I'm sweating like a stuck pig. All I need to do
now is let one rip in the cab and I'll
pretty much complete my suave and debonair
Hell, if he already hates me coming
at him right up the middle can’t possible
make things any worse. So let's cut
the crap and do this thing.
No point in either one of us
suffering any longer than we have to.
much do you remember?" I risk
one quick glance at him before losing my
nerve again and finding a new piece of
lint to obsess over.
eyes still lowered he flicks his tongue
out, nervously swiping it across his lower
lip and my dick jumps to attention so
fast I nearly get whiplash. I only just manage
to suppress a groan as his eyes dart
up, flickering across my chest, my
face, my fist white-knuckled on the
steering wheel, my crotch. Crap! Back to the crotch
then up to my face again, his eyes
widening, mouth falling open, warm
redness flushing his face as his gaze
locks on my mouth and those lush, kissable
lips curve ever so slightly, like suddenly
they know something they're not saying…
heart is pounding, I'm wheezing and
sweating like I just ran the four minute
mile with a dozen Jaffa riding my ass and
I'm so strung out on him I actually
feel like I'm gonna throw up from the
suspense of waiting for him to say
something – anything, when all
of a sudden I see – he knows, he gets
it, he's got a handle on the current
state of my universe, oh my God, what
is he gonna do, he's reaching out,
those long incredible fingers stretching
toward me, I can't help but wonder what
they'd feel like wrapped around my dick,
squeezing, stroking, pumping – even when
it's more likely what he's actually gonna
do – punch my lights out for – for -
hard, but I don't move while he touches
those magic fingers to my forehead, which
believe me is the last thing I was
expecting and is a bit confusing and
it takes me a sec to figure out exactly
what he's done; actually I don't get
it until I see him staring at his fingers
and what's on them – my sweat – like
he's looking at one of the secrets
of the universe or something. He stares some more
and smiles, just a little, but it's
the sweetest damned smile I've ever
seen and then he sniffs his
fingers, drawing in a deep and shuddering
breath and closing his eyes as he smells
me and the smile gets
bigger, wider, swarming all over his face
and approaching ecstatic.
time I think I do moan and believe me, you
would too if you were looking at that
blissful, dreamy face.
I'm hovering on the edge of
mental thinking I can't possibly –
there's nothing further he could do
that'd send me closer to combusting
all over the cab then I already am
right now but once again I'm wrong.
gotta learn to stop underestimating this
I'll never know him so completely
he'll run out of ways to surprise me.
make me so frigging horny I can't see
ducks his head and then darts his eyes up
at me again, shooting me a glance through
lowered lashes like a blue, heat seeking
laser drawing a bead on me, watching,
assessing, taking in my reaction as
he lifts the pads of those fingers
to his lips and licks….
swiping his tongue across the tips he
tastes, smiles, licks his lips, looks
– oh God, the way he's looking at me,
his eyes dark and
he knows, God he knows what he's
doing to me and he likes it.
so molten my balls are sweating sheers
through me and I'm vibrating with how much
I want him, can't stop it and the shakes
only get worse as he sees and his eyes
spark with – with -
close my eyes to break the connection, to
try and claw back some small shred of
Dignity being a lost cause, but as
I take a deep breath and start working on
picturing Maybourne in a string bikini
Daniel finally gives me the answer
to the question I'd completely forgotten
how much of what we'd
- done – he remembered.
he breathes in a voice so deep and sexy
and blatantly bedroom…
he's killing me here and he knows
too," I gobble, reaching for him.
I can't help it. I have to touch
him – have to. Keeping
away from him is no longer an option. I have his hand,
the one he's been teasing me with,
with the smelling and the licking. The fingers are
still damp from his tongue touching
them; I rub the moisture into my skin
while running my thumb along their
glistening length and then start stroking
softly but deliberately, across his
time I'm watching him sweat.
yeah, baby, you feel it too.
I know you do.
a problem with that?" he gasps,
breathing so hard he can barely get the
words out. I keep stroking, holding his
eyes. The air between
us crackles almost audibly with the
unexpressed but overwhelming mutuality of
Which suddenly seems to be an
entirely inadequate word for this
overwhelming burning need…
I tell him, though by now my answer is as
unnecessary as my next question.
gasps and shudders as I lift his hand and
press my lips into the dampness of his
Sampling his sweat, getting my
first taste of him…
That's good, right?" His hungry
eyes widen, watching me nuzzle his skin.
want to touch him, kiss him, hold him,
feel him once more, pressed up to me,
naked this time, skin against skin, skin I
can feel, taste, want to lick…
wants the same thing.
I can see it, smell it, taste it. It's streaming out
of his pores, desire seasoning his
sweat, dancing on my tongue, singing
in my blood.
both know what we want.
for me." I moan, releasing his
hand and moving mine over to his thigh. Touching, stroking,
feeling the hard muscles shuddering
beneath my fingers.
He feels good.
The coarse material of his pants
rasps harshly against my fingertips. Softer, I know the
skin beneath is much softer, warm,
yielding and I'm aching to touch, to
know for sure. Hot,
it's so hot in here all of a sudden
I'm having trouble breathing. My shirt is sticking
to my back, drenched and chafing.
Clothes. I'm wearing way
too many frigging clothes and so is
he. Why are
we wasting time staring and sweating?
if I know.
rest of our witty repartee basically
bottom-lines at his place or mine. At this point I
don't actually care, as long as we're
both agreed as to what is going to
be happening when we get where we're
going – I'll just point the truck in
the right direction and….
swear to God I don't know how we've ended
up on my bed – I vaguely remember
closing my front door and then everything
that happened from there to here -
swallowed up in a lust-red haze of
Daniel and me, we're naked on my
Naked and kissing and groping and
writhing and horizontal mamboing our asses
off all over my clean white sheets.
Oh yeah, however the hell we
managed it we're definitely here, on my
bed and what we're getting up to, while
there's no denying it's great, absolutely
incredible and so fucking hot, I
have to admit maybe the way we're going
at it, it's a little too…ape-shit.
nuts, actually. And the way Daniel is
behaving, I'm concerned.
Now, you'd think indulging in a
sweaty session of hot, wild and crazy
monkey love would be nothing but a
good thing, and normally I'm a big
fan of swinging off chandeliers myself
but because of what we both recently
went through to get this far maybe
it's not such a good idea to be quite
for our first time, anyway.
is really starting to worry me. He's
crazed, almost berserk the way he's going
at me he's – God, oh God he's on me
again, all over me, even more out of
control insatiable than he was on 956
and I'm having serious flashbacks to
the psycho zone again. Not that I'm complaining;
he's so fucking dangerous he should
be illegal and what he's doing – loved
it then, loving it now and I'd love
nothing more than to let myself go
every bit as mental right along with
him as we fuck ourselves into fucking
oblivion but this is all wrong.
Not – not that we're here, or
we're doing it, it's not us doing it
that's wrong it's the way we're, that is
the way he is
maybe I can't explain what's wrong
but that doesn't mean I don't know
And I know it is because I know
It would be flattering to let
myself believe I'm the reason he's so
frantically focused and driven, that is to
say he's acting so nuts because he's
so nuts about me, but there's
more going on here than what seems
to be going on.
Daniel's not right.
He's too desperate
and he's not with me even though he's
on top of me hammering me into the
mattress like his life depended on it.
Even though every nerve in my body
is howling at me to hammer him right back
one look at the agony etched all over his
scrunched, straining face…
going on in his head right now he's not
No matter what his body is doing
Daniel definitely isn't with the pleasure
And I feel like a selfish shit for
not seeing it sooner.
I've been so anxious to get
to our mutually agreed 'let's see who
can get naked the fastest and get jiggy'
plans I didn't see the warning signs.
has been acting funny ever since we left
the infirmary but after our shared
epiphany in my truck I figured I knew what
that was all about; he was 'off' because
he was horny, hot to trot and worried
sick he wasn't ever going to get to,
but once we'd cleared up that particular
little misconception and were racing
for my house and the consummation hour
he'd be fine.
he's not fine.
Far from it.
He's got a way bigger problem than
suffering from maybe never getting to
perform anxiety and therefore so do I. I can't believe
I've got a sweat slicked and lust crazed
archaeologist energetically pounding
me into my mattress and I'm capable
of concern, never mind a single coherent
thought and I also can't believe I'm
thinking this, but I have to slow this
down somehow. I
don't think Daniel knows what he's
he knows, but – he doesn't. He's too – well,
he's just too, take my word for it.
peel my mouth off the one ravaging mine,
whispering into his ear while rubbing the
back of his neck, hoping the firm pressure
will calm him down some.
take it easy.
What's the rush?
We've got all day. I'm
not going anywhere."
shudders and rears back, chest heaving,
eyes closed, the expression on his face
anything but blissful. In fact, I'd swear
he was in pain.
he looks at me and I know for sure.
eyes are wild again; wide, haunted and
glittering, not with galloping desire or
unreasoning madness but something far
is what Daniel looks like when he
he pants, his eye beginning to shimmer
with the tears he's fighting back. He blinks furiously,
his gaze bouncing all over the place,
looking everywhere but at me. A pretty neat trick
considering the small distance his
face is from mine there isn't much
else to look at.
– can't stop – " he moans.
"Can't – can't – oh Jack
– I can't get them out of my head! Sorry - I'm sorry
for what he did or sorry he can't put it
out of his mind long enough to get through
this for me I don't know and frankly
I don't care because I can see he's
losing it and I know why.
been trying to stay one step ahead of it,
to bury himself in the psycho sex zone so
the newly created ghosts dancing in
his head didn't drag him down and mess
up our bedroom action but he can't
do it, he can't run far enough or fuck
fast enough to escape his own overactive
conscience. He can't be anything but what he is and
what that is – that's why I love him
and want to be with him right here,
if all we're going to be up to tonight is
him bawling in my arms.
That's fine by me. And so is he. Everything
he is, everything he does, and has done. For me. A-okay, Daniel.
Now all I've got to do is make him
wounded eyes are overflowing with the
horror of his memories, his anguish
leaking out all over me as I take his
contorted face in my hands, the tears
racing down his cheeks bouncing over my
thumbs and scurrying down the back
of my hands.
He gasps as I touch him, tries to
pull away from my comforting touch but
I hold him tight while he soundlessly
gulps and shudders.
can barely talk but that doesn't stop him
God," he gasps.
"The blood – those – those
men – what I did to them – I – I –
couldn't stop killing and killing and –
killed them all, I killed them –
couldn't stop - "
did stop, Daniel," I tell him,
holding his face firmly, making him look
at me, hear what I'm telling him.
blinks at me unbelieving, his face
starting to crumble.
Not soon enough.
How can you even stand to look at
me," he chokes and screws his eyes
you were out of your head," I softly
kiss his twisting mouth and slide my thumb
across the wetness marring his cheek. "Not that it matters
because everything you did, you did
it for me. You
were protecting me.
I for one am damned glad you
sniffs, cracks open an eyelid and warily
scans my face with a skeptical
I plant another kiss on his mouth
and he shivers.
"Don't get hung up on the bug
juice thing, it's not the issue. Bottom
line, whatever state of mind you were in you had no
They were the ones who created the
scenario that got them skragged, not you.
They were hostiles, Daniel. It's a cinch they
weren't going to give me up without
a fight. They
might even have killed me except for
you. You did what you had to, what
they made you have to do in order to
protect me and you did it fast, clean and
before they had a chance to react and do
any damage to the person you were trying
to rescue, namely me.
You did exactly what you needed to
do, the only thing you could have and you
did damned good."
got both eyes open now.
He's listening, still not totally
buying it, but at least he's listening.
– " he unhappily bleats.
no, my boy, I don't care if you take out
an entire battalion with a potato peeler
if it's my ass you're rescuing. You gotta know I'd
do exactly the same thing for you.
scenario, if you hadn't been high on the
bug juice would you have just stood there
and let them waste me?"
he cries, horrified at the very idea. "I would have –
would have done exactly the same
thing," I smile triumphantly at him
and kiss him again.
time, he lets me.
Doesn't pull away or try to turn
his face aside, he sighs, opens up and
lets my tongue slide into his mouth and
gives it a nice slurpy welcome with
yeah, now we're talking.
I can still taste tears in his
kisses, but he so wants to believe and
he's so, so nearly there…
the hell was that word he used back on
I might not have known the language
but I got what he was saying.
"Ishti?" I whisper against
pulls back, looks down at me, the dawning
of hope beginning to chase away the
bleakness in his eyes.
he solemnly murmurs, and then smiles. "You don't even
know what that means," he says fondly.
but I do," I smile right back at him. "You earned me. I'm so yours. So when are you
gonna quit talking and take me, already?"
eyes spark with that feral, unbridled
gleam I'm really getting to love and my
heart leaps, my toes curl and if my dick
could sing it'd be launching into a
rousing rendition of the Hallelujah
I'm feeling so inspired I'd break
out in song myself but my mouth is
that I'm complaining or anything.
Hell no, not me.
baby, take my word for it, this boy can
kiss. And lick, and nibble and - and holy crap,
those fingers, meandering all over
me, going places no one has been for
far too long feeling – oh God, what
I'm feeling…almost as good as the way
he feels, skin sleek and
sweaty beneath my palms, muscles cording
and rippling, his ass bunching and
knotting in my greedy grasping hands as I
clutch him and dig my hungry fingers into
his firm, striving flesh, the power of his
thrusts into me, against me our groins
grinding, rubbing, slipping. I want to hold his
throbbing length, want to feel those
long, strong filthy fingers wrapped
around my aching joystick but there's
no time, can't stop what we're doing,
the rhythm is so driving, urgent, can't
stop, mustn't stop, must have him slamming
harder, faster, as he arches his neck,
his back bowing, tendons straining
I lift my head, tongue him from naval
to breastbone, lapping up the sweat
streaming down the front of his chest. It's hot, as hot as he is and the taste - salty ambrosia
sticky and rank with the glorious taste
of him; I could lick it up forever.
shivers, as I lick him some more, running
my tongue over the undulating expanse of
He sucks in a breath when I latch
onto the pebbly, aroused skin of one of
his nipples, whimpering unashamedly
while I tongue it and suckle. Something rumbles
in his chest, a desperate, strangled
noise that can't quite make it out
of his throat and suddenly he's uncontrollably
shuddering and twitching, his pelvis
ramming repeatedly into me with erratic
but determined frenzy. I got sparks starting
to pinwheel behind my own eyelids,
and I'm only holding off going off
by the skin of my balls – don't want
to, not yet – this is too good – just
a few more seconds, might not have
much more than that the way he's wheezing
and gasping and jitterbugging into
me - oh, oh
my God, Daniel, Daniel – gonna – gonna
– oh God!
Please wear it out.
soft, sleepy murmurs tease me back up and
I surface slowly, barely able to breathe
from a combination of the after affects
of one humdinger of an orgasm and a
whole lot of satiated and stupefied
archaeologist lying on top of me and
mashing me blessedly flat. He's one big boy
all but passed out all over me, babbling
contentedly, saying who the hell knows
what, but it doesn't really matter,
he's here, he's happier and he's mine.
is better now.
I'm not saying what we just did has
completely exorcised the current crop of
Daniel's most recently acquired demons but
I think he understands now there
are some things worth any price.
some instincts go straight to the bone.
a really smart guy, but sometimes he
doesn't see things the way they actually
are, especially when the one he has to cut
a break is him.
bug juice wasn't the real problem – it's
what he thought it made him, basically, a
murdering monster, that's what he couldn't
He was right about the instinct
behind his actions being all him; it
wouldn't have come out of him if it hadn't
been in there already, but in that
he's no more a monster than anyone
else. He's just
– human. With a fierce, basic, very human primal directive,
if you will, to protect what's his
at all costs.
all animals under the skin.
For all our 'intellect' and
'reason', give any one of us a good enough
reason and the beast lurking in every
single one of us…whoops, surprise.
can ignore our hidden monsters most of the
time but turning a blind eye to our
submerged savage side doesn't change the
fact we still have one. Every single damned
one of us. We
don't much like owning it or even admitting
it exists and when something happens
to bring the beast raging to the surface…
was forced to come face to face with that
part of himself we all like to kid
ourselves we don't have.
Not a pretty picture by any
means, but what he didn't understand
when he was looking into the eyes of
his own slavering darkness was where
it had really come from; what he had
done - what it was actually all about.
he's capable of killing, of ripping out an
enemy's throat with his bare teeth if he
has to but that doesn't make him a
he did it then and why he wouldn't hesitate to do
it again; that's what he read wrong.
got all messed up about it because he
didn't understand what he did back on 956
wasn't about murder or mindless, slavering
bloodlust, it was about love. And any mother who's
ever had to fight to the death to protect
her child knows exactly what I'm talking
understand exactly what he did and why. I just hope I've
helped him get not only do I
thank him from the bottom of my black
ole soul but I'd cheerfully do likewise
exactly the same reason.
a better man than I am because he thinks
every other life out there has value and
is more important than his, but it's
a point of view I don't share. He's worth more
to me than anything or anybody and
I don't care who or what they are,
anyone who tries to get between me
and him or lay so much as a finger on
him they're dead.
He's all that matters.
All the other stuff aside, when it
comes right down to it, in this, we're no
And that's nothing to be
don't bother trying to shift him, I like
him just where he is, thanks, I 'm quite
happy to wrap my arms around him and give
him a big squeeze.
I feel him smile against my neck;
he heaves a small sigh then starts
The way he's slurring his words
he's almost out but before he completely
wanders off into insensate
incomprehensibility I make out what he's
one word, but he keeps repeating it over
and over again.
Never gonna change.
And backatacha times three.
back to Missing Link
Feedback not obligatory,
but appreciated; if you want to drop me
a line: contact me