HIDE AND SEEK BY PHOENIX
Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves
Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Action/Adventure.
Enormous spoilers for FIAD, Legacy, Holiday.
||A day in paradise suddenly turns into
a nightmare as Jack struggles to save Daniel from
an evil influence from his past.
intense emotional situations.
Gen version completed Spring 2000. Slash version
completed and posted to net 24 Mar 01
Notes: Woo Hoo. This story has an interesting history. It's the last 'gen'
story I wrote before taking the slash fork in the road. It was intended
for and promised to Gateways 3 - where it eneded up in its original incarnation,
however, during the course of writing it I realized it did not want to BE
a Gen story. Most emphatically not. I spent most of the story yelling at
the boys to behave and basically forcing it to be something it didn't want
to be. I've never been happy with it as a result. So, I'm fixing it. The
Gen version will stay as it is, and I'm leaving it to Gateways. You really
want to read it you'll have to buy the zine This version is substantially
re-written, expanded, and I've let the boys go to do what they wanted to
in the first place. And then some. Woo. True love will out. What can
I tell you? Thanks to Biblio for her assistance on the slash version, the
suggestions, catching my boo boos and ceaselessly nagging me to get Daniel
headache. His head was pounding like someone'd taken a
sledgehammer to it. Several times. What was that smell?
Antiseptic? Definitely not an ocean breeze.
minute, everything smelled different, sounded different -
he'd been on that damned island with Daniel - holding Daniel.
Where was -
familiar hand on his shoulder, pressing him gently back
into the mattress. Bed. He was lying on a bed. Hospital
bed from the smells and the sounds. Probably exactly where
he should be from the way the head and most of the rest
of him was feeling.
voice, soothing him as much as the touch of the hand.
Jack," Daniel told him softly. "I'm here. We're back at
the SGC. Everyone. Sam and Teal'c too. Everyone's safe.
We're all fine. You can take it easy and just rest."
it easy sounded like a plan. His head didn't like him
sitting up so quickly. Jack decided he wasn't going to
try opening his eyes until said head stopped rolling over in
circles. He'd just lie back here, let his head settle
and enjoy the feeling of that warm, welcome hand carefully
stroking his shoulder. He liked the way it felt.
It was a nice feeling to wake up to. But as for that
It was all he could get out. His voice sounded rusty,
like it hadn't been used in years. His mouth was dry,
his tongue so parched he couldn't get it to work right.
hand, under his head, lifting it up, just a little, so gently.
Not hurting him at all as he moved it. One of those plastic
straw thingees brushing against his lips. He could do this.
Water, cold, incredibly refreshing. Just what he needed.
Exactly what he needed. He didn't even have to ask.
But that was the way it kinda always worked with Daniel.
He just knew.
always knew about the stuff that was important to Jack.
The details. The little things that greased the wheel,
made things run smoother, stuff Jack didn't want to have to
ask about, ask for, or think about. Those sorts of
details Daniel always seemed to pick up on, and was more than
willing to fill in and supply. Without ever being asked
to, looked to or required to. He just did it.
knew everything about him, knew him inside and out, knew him
better than any other living soul, knew the stuff he'd told
him, somehow knew about stuff he'd never gotten around to
saying, even. But the most important detail of all, what
all those accumulated odds and ends of intimate understanding,
the sum of all the little parts, what all it added up to
- Daniel hadn't known that one. Any more than Jack had
been consciously aware of it until it had burst upon him
unsuspected out there on that cliff, a wondrous little
secret he'd buried deep inside, hidden so well from both
of them they'd neither of them had a clue it was there.
a secret anymore. It was out. Said and admitted by both
of them to each other. Confessed by each of them in a
moment of duress and danger, when they were both out of
their 'right' minds for entirely different reasons. The
moment had passed, the danger was over, and they'd both made
it back safe.
the burning question was - what happened next? What did
he want to have happen next? What did Daniel want? Jack
knew he couldn't exactly boast of having the greatest track
record in the world for standing and dealing, but one thing
he'd never done in his life was back away from something
once he'd finally faced it. The stuff that really mattered,
you didn't say it if you didn't really mean it. Or if
you weren't prepared to put your money where your mouth
was for having said it.
just said what he'd said out there to try and coax Daniel
back from the edge. It hadn't been simply a matter of
doing what he had to do to get the job done, saying what
Daniel wanted to hear because that's what the situation
had required him to do. Those words hadn't been some
cheap, situational declaration he intended to deny, call back
and try and squirm out of with a 'well, desperate times call
for desperate measures' cop-out disclaimer. That would
be a pretty crappy thing to do to anyone. An unthinkable
thing to do to Daniel. And to himself.
of it was Daniel would let him do it. Letting Jack deny
and run just might be Daniel's plan. 'I was nuts and you
were just trying to help. No problem, Jack, I understand.'
Off the hook, clean as a whistle.
was, the more Jack thought about it, the more he didn't
want to be excused or offered such a convenient out. Or any
bail-out options at all. Realising he was in love with
Daniel had been a hell of a shock the instant it had happened,
but once he'd gotten over the actual discovery hump, he wasn't
having any problems with either the concept or the reality.
Actually, it was kind of a relief, in a strange sort of
way. It explained a lot about some of the thoughts he'd
been having, the way he'd been - well, it explained a lot.
Put his mind at ease. He wasn't getting weird in his old
age; he was in love with Daniel.
could have done a lot worse! Lord knows Daniel could do
a lot better! So, that was settled. He wasn't sorry and
he wasn't about to make out like this had never happened
and if he just turned his back and ignored it, it would
go away. All he had to find out now was how Daniel wanted
to play it. Daniel had known sooner, had been living with
knowing but accepting he could never have what he wanted.
Since way before Sha'uri's death and what he'd inadvertently
picked up as a result of it started complicating things.
Hell of a long time to want without hope. Almost as bad
as waiting without hope. Either way, Daniel'd had a crappy
time. And been pretty much screwed for not being able
to be. Ever.
already had way too much practice with the whole 'I can't
have it there's no point making myself miserable over it'
schtick, it wouldn't be a stretch to figure Daniel might be
aiming for continuing to head on down the denial highway.
Putting on the old hair shirt for his good buddy Jack's sake.
So Jack wouldn't have to deal with uncomfortable trivialities
like having his best friend complicating his life by being
in love with him.
No way he was going to let Daniel do that to himself.
Daniel wanted him, he was damned well going to have him.
So there! Hey, he could be selfless too. The fact he
couldn't shake the mental image of Daniel, half-naked and
burning with desire for him, touching himself while begging
Jack to touch him had nothing to do with it.
he didn't buy that one!
I been out of it?" he asked Daniel again once he'd had
enough water and Daniel had gently laid his head back down
on the pillow.
been drifting in and out ever since we brought you back,"
Daniel returned softly, his voice a little on the absent side,
his gaze sliding just slightly off centre so while he seemed
to be looking right at Jack, they weren't really making
eye contact. With him, but not. Crap, it was going to
be like this, was it? Daniel's eyes and voice said full
blown 'Operation Evasion' was in full effect, but his effort
to deny his desire was being seriously undermined by the
hand unconsciously, very tenderly stroking the head of
the man not buying one word of what he was selling.
your plans for the road trip, Daniel. You're not going
anywhere without me.
twelve hours or so," Daniel finished, flushing slightly
and shifting in his seat. "You have a concussion. For
me, I've had worse," Jack grinned at him. Daniel's eyes
momentarily darted back toward him, and he tried to smile.
"How you doing, Daniel?"
Daniel said woodenly, breaking the tenuous eye contact by
shifting his gaze just slightly to the right again. Such
a subtle movement, but it spoke volumes to the man seeing it.
about to tell me a lie, Dannyboy.
about kicking you around in the jungle back there," Daniel
grinned ruefully, his colour deepening with every word
coming out of his mouth. "You know I never would have
- whatever was in that stuff I drank - Janet was saying
something about my brain chemistry being out of whack and
inhibition inhibiting and hallucinogenic effects and a bunch
of other stuff I really wasn't listening to. It's worked
its way out of my system and apparently hasn't had any lasting
effects or done any damage other than make me blank out
on whatever happened after I started carrying you out of
me, Danny. You just told Jack a whopper.
mustered a weak, insincere smile and shifted his eyes even
further to the right. "So, other than having a few
cuts and scrapes I don't know how I came by - " the hand
on his head, the one with the slit on the palm, stopped,
trembled for an instant and then resumed its tender
ministrations - "I'm right as rain."
no worries, Jack. I don't remember a thing. We can both
go on like nothing happened out there. Like the words
were never spoken. Best buds, and never, ever anything
more, forever and ever, amen.
that happened once Plant Boy took his best shot…?"
winced. "I'm - I'm really sorry about that, Jack. But
yeah, once I climbed down out of the tree, it's all pretty
don't be sorry," Jack reached over and patted him on the
arm. "It wasn't your fault. Maybe you should get juiced
up more often. You had some pretty good moves out there.
I was seriously impressed."
weren't contemplating killing me," Daniel smiled again,
this time with a little more conviction as he started to
relax, no doubt convinced Jack was buying his story of
Jack let his smile grow wide and unthreatening. Relax,
Daniel, your good friend Jack is buying every word.
Totally fooled here. "There were a few moments when I
had one or two unkind thoughts."
two?" Daniel smiled skeptically. His blue eyes were getting
warmer, shifting back. The hand on his head was openly
fondling now. Playing with his hair, brushing it back
from his brow. Caressing. Daniel didn't even know he
was doing it.
several. Hell of a right cross you've got."
frowned and hunched his shoulders a bit. "If you say so."
with the vine - where'd you learn to do that?"
blushing now and looking a little proud of himself. "It
- it's nothing. Just something I used to do when I was
the sneaking up on me. Never even heard you coming."
sell yourself short," Jack said sincerely. "If it wasn't
for you fighting her off, I'd be dead right now. It took
a lot of guts to stop her from choking the life out of
let her kill you - " Daniel started and then choked off
in mid-sentence. The stroking hand froze, the colour abruptly
drained from Daniel's face as he turned furious eyes on
the smugly smiling man lying on the bed beside him.
Daniel seethed, starting to pull away. "You tricked me!"
I did," Jack told him gently as he reached over and touched
him on the arm, instantly arresting Daniel's impulse to
bolt. "You didn't leave me any other choice. You were
trying to play this like nothing happened out there, and
that's not what I want. Not the way I want things to be
Daniel said in a barely audible voice, his jaw set, his eyes
hard and staring out over the top of Jack's head. He
wasn't pulling away but Jack could feel him trembling with
desperate, fearful tension. Caught between needing to
hear what he wanted to hear and fearing he wouldn't.
"How do you want things to be between us, Jack?"
what I said to you out there. I know you remember. So
do I. I meant it. Did you?"
Daniel answered faintly.
sorry?" Jack asked him carefully.
Daniel replied warily.
scowled at him before replying. "Not for what I feel.
Never that. But maybe, for saying. If - " he glanced
at Jack anxiously "If - "
was something I didn't want to hear. If by some chance I
was a dumb-ass who couldn't deal with being in love with his
best friend," Jack soothed, starting to gently stroke
Daniel's arm. "Well, I am a dumb-ass for not figuring
it out sooner, but not that much of a dumb-ass. The words
were said and we both meant them. It's kinda unrealistic
to think we can go on from here as if it never happened.
We can make ourselves miserable trying, or we can have
the guts to put our money where our mouths are. Put up
or shut up. Make the best of a bad situation. Stop crying
over spilt milk. You can jump in here and just stop me,
any time. I keep coming up with any more inappropriate
clichés I'm gonna have you convinced I'm looking on this
like it's something bad instead of the most amazing thing
that's ever happened to me."
heaved a huge sigh and then turned and finally focussed on
Jack. His eyes were soft with fond understanding as he
took Jack's hand and pressed it to his heart. "You
always were a smooth talker," he smiled.
convinced we're holding out on him, you know," Jack
called out to the man busying himself with the refreshments in
the kitchen. He grimaced as he leaned back against the
couch and tried to get more comfortable. Three days in
the infirmary under Janet Fraiser's watchful eye had only
slightly lowered the 'ouch' factor currently involved in
existing while doing everything to significantly elevate
the anxiety factor in other parts of his anatomy. Basically,
he was still hurting all over and while all of his aches
had been Daniel-inflicted only some of them had anything
to do with being thumped. Some of it, but definitely not
all of it. Especially now that he was finally sprung from
the infirmary and home again, and the cause of his 'anxiety'
was currently only a few tantalising feet away.
because we are, Jack," Daniel replied reasonably from the
kitchen. "Thanks for backing me up, by the way."
I'm still not exactly sure what happened out there, but one
thing I do know, it's over. I didn't see any reason for
anyone else but the two of us to know every stinking detail of
what went down on that mountain. We can't explain it, we
sure can't prove it, and you don't need any more grief
from Doc McKenzie. Whatever the hell it was you had in
you, Boogie's stuff got rid of it. End of story. You're
yourself again. As far as anyone else needs to know you
drank some bug juice, took a few rounds out of me, sobered
up, the natives let us all go home. It was all part of
some weird-ass ritual we got caught up in before we realised
what was happening. No harm done."
to your head. And your ribs. And your knees," Daniel
okay," Jack chuckled, gingerly fingering the stitches bisecting
his right eyebrow. "So I got a few bruises, a couple of
stitches and am probably going to have a nifty scar to
show for it. For what else I got out of it," he continued,
grinning at Daniel as he walked toward him bearing two
hot, steaming mugs, "I'm thinking it was definitely worth
a bruise or two. Or several."
Daniel quirked a tentative smile at him as he settled himself
on the other end of the couch and handed one of the mugs to
Jack. "And what would that be?"
at the mug in his hand. "This doesn't look like a beer,"
he said accusingly to Daniel. "I distinctly remember asking
for a beer."
grinned into his coffee before taking a healthy, appreciative
sip. "That's funny, I distinctly remember hearing
Janet say no alcohol for you until you'd finished your
pick damned inconvenient moments to do what you're told,"
Jack sulked before taking a theatrical slurp of his own
'convenient' about it at all," Daniel returned tartly.
"If you think it's fun having to listen to a thwarted,
sulking, whining and complaining Jack O'Neill - "
sitting on you holding you down making you," Jack retorted
in mock indignation.
right," Daniel peered narrowly at him over the rim of his
coffee cup. "I don't have to listen to this. I should
just shut you up right now."
Jack taunted, setting down his coffee cup.
a matter of fact, I do," Daniel said emphatically, placing
his own cup down on the coffee table with a bit of a flourish.
"What's more I have some very specific ideas as to how
shut me up. I dare you," Jack sighed as he leaned slightly
back against the couch and waited.
going down, Colonel," Daniel leered as he began to move
across the couch toward the man eagerly awaiting his advance.
be getting to that sooner or later, I'm sure," Jack murmured
mere instants before Daniel's cool, soft lips pressed gently
spent a lot of time thinking about this moment over the
past few days, fantasising and obsessing to the point of
continual, painful frustration. As much as he wanted it
and knew he was going to enjoy it he still wasn't fully
prepared for how good it felt to have Daniel finally, FINALLY
kissing him. With everything he had, which was
tentative fumbling here, Daniel was going at him with a
passionate gusto bordering on desperation. A heady mixture
of 'I can't believe I'm actually doing this' liberally
laced with 'oh God, I came so close to never being able to do
this', with just a smidgen of 'I never, ever want to stop
doing this' mixed in for good measure. Jack just laid
back and drank it all in, thoroughly agreeing with every
fervent, nuzzle, lick and caress while getting in a few
like-minded licks and bites of his own.
answered my question," Daniel groaned into Jack's ear before
licking his way back to his mouth again.
Jack gasped as Daniel's tongue rimmed his mouth before
plunging deeply within and sending shocks of pleasure through
Jack's entire body.
several noisy, pleasurable seconds before Daniel disengaged
long enough to throatily mutter, "What was worth getting
a few bruises for."
explain it you haven't been paying attention," Jack growled
as he grabbed the back of Daniel's head and pulled his
mouth back down to his.
An involuntary exclamation of pain wrenched out of him as
Daniel, quite carried away with his enthusiasm pressed a
little heavily against Jack's aching side. The one
that'd had a close encounter with a rock and had subsequently
needed four stitches.
Daniel cried out, horrified, wrenching himself up and away
from Jack's body. "God, I'm sorry! Janet said you
were supposed to take it easy! Nothing strenuous! God,
what was I thinking, you're not up for this!"
beg to differ," Jack grimaced and rubbed his hand against
his aching, straining crotch. "I might have to take a raincheque
on the trapeze and the rubber chicken but I'm definitely
up for some completely basic and uncomplicated groping,
fondling and rubbing."
possibly more information than I really needed in the early
stages of our physical relationship," Daniel shook his
head and grinned as he stood up, "but the final three
items on your list are definitely doable. Once we get
you upstairs, in bed and a little more comfortable."
He held out his hand to the man lying on the couch.
"I promise to be gentle."
only kidding about the rubber chicken," Jack teased as
with Daniel's help he slowly, and admittedly painfully got
up off the couch.
in his bed. Comfortably laid out and naked in his bed.
While there was nothing unusual or noteworthy in that occurrence,
certainly not lately, what was definitely different this
time around was he wasn't alone. Alone in the bed, yes,
but not alone in the room. Daniel was in his room. Daniel
wasn't in the bed yet, and neither was he naked. However,
the way he was getting that way while he was watching Jack
watching him get naked…
had thought watching a drugged out Daniel touching himself
on that mountain was a turn on what a Daniel in full possession
of all his faculties, in his bedroom and doing to himself
what he was doing right now was doing to him... Jack
just hoped he was going to be able to hold out long enough
for Daniel to actually make it into the bed.
throat contracted with longing as Daniel slowly, sensuously
unbuttoned his shirt, sliding the material across his chest
teasingly before letting go of it and allowing it to slide off
his shoulders and down his arms to flutter unheeded to the
floor. Jack quelled a little quiver of dismay as he saw
the newly revealed skin of Daniel's torso still bore some
healing testaments to his own ordeal. They both had a
few marks, and might yet have some scars to go with them.
But at least they were still here, and still very much
alive. That's all that mattered.
slowly ran his tongue across his lower lip and shivered as he
lightly rotated his palms across the hardening surface of his
nipples. Grazing, barely touching, teasing himself,
teasing the man watching him with hungry eyes, aching fingers
and an erection so hard he could hammer nails with it.
Daniel, you're KILLING me, here!" Jack groaned.
eyes were dancing with lust and excitement. "Do you
want to see more, Jack?" he breathed as he began to move
his hands slowly down his chest, traversing his abdomen with
deliberate, arousing movements, sliding them closer to the
waistband of his pants.
Jack gurgled helplessly, his eyes riveted to Daniel's hands
as he carefully, painstakingly began to unfasten his belt.
Daniel warned as Jack's twitching, straining right hand began
to move toward his equally twitching and impatient erection.
Daniel's pants were undone now, his hands slipping down,
inside, beneath. "You're not supposed to exert
yourself. Let me do it."
idea when that would be, exactly?" Jack croaked desperately.
"Not that I want to rush you or anything, but I'm not made
of stone here."
you it'll be worth the wait," Daniel smiled enigmatically
as he slipped both pants and briefs off his hips and down
his long legs in one fluid, erotic motion that just about
undid all Jack's efforts not to become undone all over
Jack groaned again as Daniel kicked aside his last articles
of clothing and stood before him in all his revealed and
completely rampant glory. Smiling as he began to walk
toward the quivering, nearly crazed man in the bed watching
his slow glide toward him through a dizzying haze of impatient,
was gently carding his fingers through his pubic hair,
stroking his long fingers all around, but not touching.
Not yet. He waited until he'd reached the bed and had
carefully straddled Jack's legs before finally taking his own
erection in his hand while slowly lowering himself until his
scrotum was gliding along the length of Jack's entirely
engorged and just about ready to burst groin.
it was too much. He was going to go. Jack gritted his
teeth and grabbed the back of Daniel's thighs, holding
on for dear life as Daniel reached down and touched him
for the first time. Jack cried out and threw his head
back into the pillow, pinioned by the spectacle of Daniel
beginning to stroke himself in time to the firm, exquisite
action his own equipment was getting. He gripped
Daniel's legs more firmly, his hips starting to rock in
frantic resonance to the rhythmic, relentless pumping.
Daniel was gasping, his other hand working faster, his body
undulating with his growing excitement.
Jack screamed as his orgasm spurted through him, from him,
shooting his senses in all different directions as the
resulting tide of pleasure all but overwhelmed his awareness.
As he hovered between somewhat still sentient and completely
pleasured stupid he saw Daniel's back arching in an echoing
bow of ecstasy, heard his 'Jack' shatter the air and felt
happily assured a good time was most definitely had by
Daniel groaned. "Aren't you tired yet?"
with you kids these days?" Jack grumbled good-naturedly
as he ran an affectionate hand down Daniel's back. "No
that much younger than you are, and in case I need to remind
you, I've been the one doing all the work."
orders," Jack grinned. "Not supposed to exert myself,
remember? Your fault. You're the one who insisted we
play by the rules."
a fine time not to argue with me," Daniel replied fondly
as he played with Jack's chest hair. "So, what do you
a couple more owies you haven't kissed better yet," Jack
raised his head from Jack's chest and affixed him with a lock
of mock horror. "We can't have that!"
straight! Make with the lips, already!"
didn't move. He stayed where he was, looking down at Jack
with a light in his eyes making him want to kiss him right
there and then.
So he did.
was long, languid and lingering, but at last Daniel pulled
his mouth away.
I said I was sorry for bashing you about but did I also
tell you how much - thank you for fighting for me? For
not letting go?"
seven or eight times already, but I'm more than willing
to let you make it up to me for as long as you want to."
the next twenty years sound?" Daniel kissed him lightly.
do for starters," Jack returned, cupping the back of his
head, pulling Daniel back down to him again. "But I
warn you, I've got an awfully long memory. Twenty years
might not be enough. I might need more."
more?" Daniel whispered against his lips.
time you've got," Jack whispered back.
Daniel smiled as he gave himself over to the kiss.
Back to Part Three