DOWN PART THREE BY PHOENIXE
||Jack and Daniel involved in a loving and committed
relationship, which usually involves sex.
||Angst, First Time, Humour
||Pick one. Any time after season 3 Itty bitty spoiler
for Shades of Grey
||Jack and Daniel go head to head on the playing field
in an alien arena. One of them is going down!
||:Language. Skin. Lots and lots of skin.
||222 Kb Originally completed Mar 07. Posted here 1 Sep
Story Notes: This story was originally
written as a response to a monthly challenge on Pepe's list from a loooong,
long time ago. We were supposed to pick a story title from the issued
list and this is the one I chose. The month during which the challenge
was issued came and went, and the story languished on my hard drive, unfinished.
That is until I dusted it off and whipped it into shape for Chance and
the memorial zine I put together for her well over a year ago. I had her
very much in mind while I was writing it. I hope I did her justice; pretty
sure she would have gotten a kick out of it. I think this is my ultimate
Jack and Daniel naked story, and not in the way one usually thinks of them
being together in the altogether. Certainly what I do to Daniel, well,
read it and find out. Heh. This story also contains what I personally
feel is the funniest line I've ever written. Still cracks me up every time
I see it. Anyone who wants to venture a guess which one, ask me and see
if you're right! Oh yeah, and those of you who have seen the 'In Our Hearts'
version, there is a new scene in this story, just after the gateroom
I turn, and look up,
understanding at last why everybody
on the field, nay, everyone in this
whole stinking arena is staring
wide-eyed and slack-jawed at that huge,
honkin’ screen, and what’s all over
it, in full colour…
There he is, up there,
coasting across the finish line, it
hasn’t even clicked in yet he’s made
it, even though he’s well across he
keeps on chugging, doesn’t throttle back
one iota until the light show blowing its
wad to celebrate his accomplishment clues
him in he’s done it, and of course, the
hysterical cheers from the crowd…
There he goes, he’s
figured it out, he’s the winner, he’s
da man! Slowing
down now, he’s stopped running, but
oh my, the show, it would seem, is
far from over.
Oh yeah, he’s definitely
the man of the hour and he’s so proud
of himself, doing an energetic happy
dance on the spot there, yeah, you
did it, you beat me, Daniel, fair and
square, enjoy it while you can, myself,
at this moment I really don’t minding
losing, in this particular context,
the consolation prize is…well, this
is one of those times when you win,
even if you lose.
Not complaining at all. Nope, not
me. This…is quite a show.
Daniel, well, he’s
incredibly…he’s having a really good
time, hooping and hollering and skipping
about in excited circles, executing
a spectacularly energetic victory fandango
at the moment, evidently he’s quite
thrilled with…winning, and we’re all
getting hard, really hard up
close and personal visual confirmation
of how…thrilled…he is.
Oh my God, just look at him, my
heart’s about to stop, he’s whooping
it up, bouncing and bounding around like
an insane maniac, he’s really, really
excited, and I’d like to be as happy for
him and with him, only problem is the poor
schmuck is so jazzed, he doesn’t
realize…oh God, it hasn’t hit him yet
he’s completely, absolutely, utterly
naked and every bounce, flounce,
twist, wiggle, jiggle, totally
on display all over those damned mega
Yeah, there’s Daniel
all over, nude as the David de Milo.
Not a stitch on him.
Nope, not a one.
Well, he can’t have,
can he, on account of I’ve currently
got custody of his skirt.
Oh my God.
I wish the totally
buck-naked thing, bad as it is, was
the worst of it, but alas, we’re not
getting off that easy and neither is
said he was jazzed, right, which he
certainly, evidently is, and if the
vigorous victory jig he’s currently
executing wasn’t enough of a visual
clue, there’s more. The extremely
graphic and priaptic proof is not simply
in the bouncing.
Oh, no, if only.
Lord help me, I hope the kiddies’
eyes are covered, because the crowd is
getting a lot more than they probably
expected, certainly way more than their
money’s worth today, and believe me,
they are being appropriately vocally
Oh God, not that a naked and
bouncing Daniel isn’t a delightfully
delectable spectacle in himself, but the
icing on the cupcake is the enormous
boner he’s saluting
the stands with. Oh my God, that puppy
is...well, there are no words.
I’ve no doubt it’s
a thing of beauty, more than impressive
when it’s simply to scale, but blown
up, in excruciating close-up, several
hundred feet high – or should that
Well, what can you
say about a hard-on the size of the
Cleopatra’s Needle except…
Yep, that is definitely
one major erection.
Wow…you could poke George Washington’s
eye out with that thing and still have
enough left over for
Holy shit I’ve
still got what’s left of his dignity
in my hot little hands and I’d better
make tracks and get it to him
– like now, if I run really, really
fast I might make it before he comes down
and – and clues in… crap, if he
actually sees himself, like that,
and realizes everyone else
Kill me, kill me,
he’s gonna kill me.
I thought I was running
flat out before, hell, now I’m moving
so fast I’m breaking the sound barrier
make it, gotta make it, gotta…
The crowd has gone
quiet, there’s this solemn, reverent
hush reigning over the
arena, and I’m suspecting the whole
salacious lot of 'em are getting happily
mesmerized watching Daniel’s HD naughty
bits bob and wave at them. Pervs! But hey,
on second thought, can’t say I blame
them, it definitely qualifies as a
religious experience in my book!
Okay, okay, run, O’Neill,
you can make it, you can do it, aw
As I come galloping
up on him it’s painfully obvious Daniel
is no longer bouncing.
Nope, he’s not moving at all, not
making any effort to cover himself either,
he’s standing ramrod stiff like he’s
petrified in place, staring straight up,
mouth gaping open, arms hanging slackly at
his sides, eyes wide with dumb horror. I didn’t think this
was even possible but I swear, he’s
got a total, full body blush going;
he’s red from the roots of his hair
And oh yeah, he’s
But let’s not go there,
don’t look, don’t look, eyes up, front,
“I got here as fast
as I could!” I gasp, skidding to his
side. He doesn’t
look my way, gives no sign he’s even
aware of my presence while I stand
dripping and wheezing beside him, bent
over, trying to suck some air into
my burning chest. I
may have broken something trying to
get here so quick.
“Daniel,” I cough,
hacking up a lung and straightening
so I won’t keel over.
Me, I’m fine. Seeing a few spots
here, but I think I’ll live.
Yikes, I think the
poor guy is in shock.
God, I hope his brain hasn’t shut
down from embarrassment.
Can you be in a coma with your eyes
Maybe I’d better poke him or
something, just to see if he’s still in
He still doesn’t move,
and just as I’m starting to become
seriously concerned, his vacant, shocked
eyes finally swing my way.
His mouth is moving,
but the sounds are barely coming out.
“I know, I know,”
I soothe, and thrust his skirt at him. “I’m sorry. I brought you this.”
Daniel glances down
at the pathetic rag in my hand but
doesn’t take it. Come
on, Daniel, work with me here.
I know you’re slightly stunned,
and all, but the damage is…um…done,
let’s just suit up and move on.
“It’s a bit sweaty. Sorry about that
“Jack,” he says again,
louder this time, a glare gathering
in his gaze, crowding out the shockiness
with something a lot more…
“Jack, I’m naked.”
Oh yeah, a whole lot
of pissed. Daniel
is definitely re-entering the building
and when he gets to the top floor my
life is over.
I’ll make it up to
you somehow, I swear.
Don’t exactly know how yet,
“I’m naked, and it’s
Oh boy, this is going
south fast. Really,
really fast. I
can’t blame him for being mad at me,
but it’s not like I did it on purpose. He’s just…well,
he’s not quite… right now, on account
of…crap, Daniel, snap out of it, you’ve
still got nothing on.
“I know that too. I said I’m sorry. Are you gonna…”
I waggle the rag at
him and he abruptly snatches it out
of my hand.
“Well, you could say
thank you,” I shrug.
Well, he could.
with me, he snarls, unfurling the skirt
and swiftly wrapping it about his waist. The moment he’s
fully covered a mass moan of disappointment
issues from the bleachers. Daniel’s head snaps
up, reacting to the sound.
“Don’t you start with
me either!” he harangues the groaning
masses, whirling about in an incensed
circle finishing with him glaring full
“You still here?”
he snaps at me. “I’ve
certainly given them more than
their money’s worth, what can I do
How’s that for gratitude. I’m willing to make
allowances for the embarrassment factor,
but geez, he’s really working this. I know I screwed
up but I’m doing the best I can to
make up to him. Least
he could do is meet me half-way.
“Come on, Daniel,
it’s not so bad,” I cajole.
“How – how can you
say that?” he throws
his hands up in the air, a definite
hysterical edge to his tone.
“I know the way it
looks, but –“
I don’t get a chance
“You don’t get it,
do you?” he snarls, stabbing me in
the chest with his right index finger. “Because of you
I was – I was – in
front of all those people!
They saw everything!”
“Yeah, I know,” I
reply calmly. I
gotta talk him down here, and fast,
now he’s over the initial shock there’s
a very real possibility he’s contemplating
“Come on, Daniel,
so a few million people saw you in
your birthday suit,” I pat him on the
not like you know any of them,
or even have to see them again,
once we get back to the SGC.”
“I know at least three
of them,” he says in a low, ominous
I really should leave
logic to the experts.
“Daniel, what do you
want me to say?” I entreat; putting
everything I have into my best sincere
face. “Sorry? I am, I really am,
but it’s done, and I can’t change that. I know it’s embarrassing,
but being the SGC’s first interplanetary
streaker, it’s not like it’s going
to kill you, or anything. Besides, it’s not
all bad, look on the bright side.”
Daniel gapes at me
like I’m insane.
“Bright side?” he
are you talking about what
- what – bright side?
Are you insane?”
“Sure there is, you
won, didn't you? You
beat me, fair and…um… you beat me. Isn’t that what
Daniel’s eyes narrow,
and the venomous glare he broadsides
me with would take out a peltac in
orbit. It hits
hard, I actually stagger beneath the
weight of the cold, dark hatred in
“I am never
speaking to you again,” he hisses,
his face almost purple with rage.
I’m too shocked to
say anything and then, I lose my chance. He gives me one
more disgusted once-over then whirls,
stalking away from me down the field,
stiff-backed, head held high. He doesn’t spare
me the slightest backward glare, just
keeps on stomping, making a bee-line
for the gaggle of post-game well-wishers
trotting up the field toward him, his
cheering blue boys in the lead. When
Daniel reaches them, his guys hoist
him up on their shoulders and yelling
and laughing, bear their victorious,
albeit no longer naked, hero away.
I stand there and
watch them go, Daniel’s words and the
way he said them rolling around in my
believe me, I’ve pissed Daniel off
plenty, many times in the past, one
of the things in life I’m truly good
at, and this isn’t the first time he’s
ever said this, or something very similar,
Hell, if I had a nickel for every
time Daniel has told me to fuck off and
die, to get lost, he never wanted to see
me again or any and all combinations of
the above, I’d have a lot of freaking
nickels, and Daniel still talking to me
once he’d calmed down and apologized for
going off the deep end on me.
This time, though…this
time is different.
This time I think
he really means it.
General Hammond’s cheery tones
greet us upon stepping through the event
His huge grin falters when Daniel
keeps on going, stomping moodily down the
ramp and right on past him without
giving him so much as a glare.
have good news for me, Colonel, I hope,”
says to me, after a quick, puzzled
glance at Daniel, still stomping, making
straight for the open blast doors,
clearly intending to clear the gateroom
Sir, absolutely, Sir, the treaty is
signed, sealed and delivered,” I
“Thanks to Daniel.”
stiffens and stops.
He stands rooted, one step from the
corridor, back straighter than a pool cue
and I can see the hair on the back of
his neck bristling from here but he
doesn’t turn around.
because he’s not looking at any of us
– okay, me, specifically, doesn’t mean
he’s not listening.
Believe me, those angry ears are
soaking in every word about to be spoken
and I’m pretty sure my future, nay,
my very life hinges on what
gets said within the next few seconds.
Okay, guys, just this once, leave it
alone. Please? Hammond will get the full,
awful truth, all in good time, but we
don’t need to go into too much detail
at this particular juncture, especially
not now, not while Daniel is
still…so…unimpressed with just about
everything and everybody but most
Cut me some slack, here, kids,
let’s keep our mouths shut and let him
go, give him some time to cool down,
and me an opportunity to do some damage
control once he has.
If he ever does. Ye Gods, seriously
hoping he does, but the way it’s looking
at the moment I dunno. I honest to god
don’t know, and I don’t mind telling
you, it’s scaring the crap out of me.
so is he.
a very real possibility he probably
won’t settle for any conciliatory
measures from me not involving me shooting
myself, preferably in his presence with
a gun he’s personally loaded and put
in my hands for that express purpose,
but a girl can try.
I thought I had problems before…
smug, sly look slides across Carter’s
face, and the big blue eyes shooting my
way are way too bright and loaded with
My. Life. She’s. About. To. Make.
yes, Sir, the Quaar were quite impressed
with Daniel,” SG-1’s very own blonde
Judas cheerily volunteers, throwing
me an evil grin before flashing Hammond
a megawatt, ingenuous smile.
Ack! Sold down the river
for a cheap laugh!
Oh well, at least I can count
on the big guy not to -
Jaffa Iscariot chimes in, effectively
handing me the paddle I’m going to need
for my impending trip further up shit
“As we were preparing to depart
their governing council were discussing an
appropriate way to suitably honour him
for his outstanding actions. I believe they wish
to declare him a national hero.”
guys; I will remember this.
yeah,” Carter nods, her face a study in
“Daniel definitely left his mark
on the collective psyches of the Quaar. His performance
was…well, unique in the annals of sports
can’t stop talking about it, and him. I certainly saw
a lot more of him than I was expecting. It was extremely…inspirational. A very impressive
showing, wouldn’t you agree, Colonel?”
She finishes, barely managing to suppress
whips about, affixing me with a murderous
What? Why are you blaming
me, I didn’t start this. Not sayin’ a word,
here. Nope, not me!
is true,” Teal’c gravely nods.
“DanielJackson’s image has been
prominently featured in the news media and
Among the Quaar he is rapidly
pauses, as if he’s searching an elusive
word or phrase he can’t quite get a hold
Carter immediately supplies, and I
don’t need the ear-to-ear grin to get
she’s enjoying this way too much.
she’s not the only one.
Teal’c nods again.
“Thank you, Major Carter.”
Sir, Daniel is quite the celebrity on P4B
814,” Carter gleefully continues, while
Daniel’s furious eyes drill through
me. “He’s already
been inducted into the Zot Hall of
Fame. The Quaar can’t get enough of
him. He’s so
popular there, we weren’t exactly sure
the Quaar were going to let him come
back with us. Kinda
touch and go, for a bit, what with
the Dodg wanting to take him on a planet-wide
tour, all the parties and receptions
they wanted to throw for him, the requests
for him to do talk show appearances,
the product endorsement offers, a three
picture movie deal, not to mention
the five year contract – “
amount of local currency the Dodg proposed
to secure DanielJackson’s agreement to
continue to display his unique talents
on the playing field was considerable,”
with an elegant brow lift.
yeah,” Sam vigorously nods.
“It was a lot of money. Personally I don’t
know how Daniel turned it down. “Let me see,”
she muses, ticking off each item on
her fingers. “The
tour, the talk shows, movies, the endorsements,
the contract, and…what else?” She pauses, throwing
a thoughtful look up at Teal’c.
have not mentioned the numerous
individuals seeking to approach
DanielJackson with matrimonial offers.”
Carter slaps her forehead. “How could I have
forgotten that, we were beating
off potential suitors with sticks.”
one was harmed, Major Carter, although we
had to be vigilant and strict in refusing
the applicants access to DanielJackson,
for his own protection, there were
no actual sticks involved in the process,”
Teal’c sternly admonishes.
just an expression, Teal’c,” she
“Nevertheless, as Teal’c was
saying we had our hands pretty full
screening Daniel from, oh, numerous
amorous overtures, and as for the actual
proposals, over a dozen, wasn’t it,
the big guy deadpans.
it was hard to keep track. Some of them
were even from women.”
Carter grabs his arm and viciously
bites her lip.
“As I recall, the Dodg’s
daughter was particularly insistent, as
was his son.”
at one point I thought they were gonna
kill each other,” Carter grimaces. “It got pretty ugly. They liked him,
they really, really liked him,” she
shrugs at Hammond
act, guys, a real barrel of laughs. You should take
it on the road; you’d be a hit. For sure you’ve
got Daniel rolling in the aisles. Yeah, he’s downright
hysterical with glee. The whole time Hope
and Crosby here have been getting their
jollies at both our expenses
he’s been roasting me raw with the
double-dog damned eyes of doom, flushing
and steaming, and by now he’s so worked
up his face is about the colour of
a stop sign.
it out, will ya, why don’t you do the
bug-eyes thing at them they’re
the one’s who’ve been – I haven’t
said anything, done… oh, I get
it, that’s it, that’s why his toque is
in such a twist, even though they’re
the ones doing all the ribbing it’s
still my fault because…
Daniel, now that’s really not fair, why
do you think, now of all times they’d
listen to me any more than you do?
is not inaccurate to state, due to his
actions on behalf of the SGC during the
successful conclusion of the negotiations,
Daniel Jackson is much revered by the
Quaar. Would you not agree, O’Neill?”
no, you’re not dragging me into
yes!” Carter quickly cuts in.
“Let’s not forget the colonel
was a big help.
In fact, he’s pretty much the
main reason for Daniel’s exposure.”
has been glancing uncertainly between the
three of us, picking up on the
not-so-subtle ambient tension in the room
and rightly surmising, no doubt from
what I’m not saying as much as what’s
already come out of the mouths of the
other two there’s a lot more going
on here than has met the ear. The distressed grunt
Daniel makes on the heels of Carter’s
last comment confirms his growing suspicions.
be looking forward to your report,”
ventures after a careful once-over
of all of us.
Carter helpfully volunteers.
pauses, and glances thoughtfully back
“Three hours,” he finishes
“Take some time, Doctor
Jackson,” he says kindly.
“I’m sure whatever you have to
tell me can keep until you’ve had a
chance to…well, I don’t know, but
whatever you need to do, take some time
and do it first, son.”
you, George; you’re a damned fine man. You might not know
what the story is, but you can see
it’s going to be awhile before Daniel
can face telling it.
drops his head.
“Thank you, Sir,” he mumbles. “ I – I appreciate… I’ll – I’ll be fine.”
flings one final killer glare at me over
the top of his glasses, then spins on his
heels and stalks away.
him go, then gives all of us the once-over
again, his brow knitting with concern
boy, I’m in for it now.
he says sternly.
Sir,” I sigh, and slump down the ramp
Peachy. Just when you think
things can’t possibly get any worse,
course they do.
well, look on the bright side, if
me now I won’t have to worry about
how I’m going to make this up to Daniel
five minutes with
, another 30 getting green-lit by Janet,
fifteen minutes of procrastinating and
playing with my yo-yo, yup, should do it. Should be long enough. Daniel’s had enough
time to go from full boil to
take a chance and take him on; besides,
I come armed with glad tidings guaranteed
to earn me a foot in the door and an
audience with His Royal Pissiness.
It’ll be fine.
As long as I’ve known him I’ve
never known Daniel to hold a grudge into
At least, not against anyone
who’s not got a snake in ‘em; and I
definitely don’t got one of those.
Daniel, you decent?” I holler through
his open office door and am immediately
impeded from further proceeding by
an unexpected obstacle looming in the
doorway looking suspiciously like my
brother and my 2IC.
Neither of whom look incredibly
happy to see me.
whazup wid diz?
We stare at each other.
Clearly, I wish to enter. Clearly, they don’t
seem to be clearing out of my way so
“Carter? Teal’c?” I calmly address
the stone-faced guardians of Daniel’s
you mind…” I make a shooing motion,
gesturing to indicate they should maybe,
like, get the hell
out of my way!
me through, I wanna talk to Daniel!”
about that, Sir,” Carter begins,
crossing her arms across her chest and
glaring at me.
do not believe that would be wise,
O’Neill,” Teal’c rumbles ominously. “DanielJackson does
not wish to speak to you.”
He's kidding. He has to be. Okay, I
know Daniel was pretty pissed with me, but
this is bordering on adolescent, even for
him! Come on, big guy, we’re not in
high school here, and we're all a little
old to be playing keep away, so back
off, let me through, I’ll give Daniel
the good news and a snappy apology,
he’ll forgive me and that’ll be that.
And nothing further to see here so
get out the way, already!
that Jack?” Daniel hollers from
somewhere inside his office. “Tell him to go
I said, O’Neill,” Teal’c observes
with a smug smile.
“DanielJackson does not wish to
speak to you. I
believe it would be unwise to allow
you entrance to his office at this
I got news!” I whine.
did I – did I just whine?
already knows he doesn’t have to go
to the briefing,” Carter sternly informs
me, giving the glare more gas. “General Hammond
called him and told him he was excused.”
beat me to the punch. There goes my ace
in the door. Not
that I’d be getting a chance to use
it, any time soon, even if he hadn’t,
judging by the faces on the unwelcome
was just putting the finishing touches
on his mission report,” Carter helpfully
Ewww. Daniel’s mission
be a fun read. Ack.
he has done so, he will be returning
to his domicile,” her accomplice adds.
Home? Daniel is going
that’s not good, if he leaves now that
means…I have to talk to him, but I
can’t, if he’s not here because I can’t
leave yet, he may be excused from the
debriefing but I’m not and I still
have my report, dammit, it’s going
to be hours before I get a chance to
through, I wanna talk to Daniel!”
push forward, trying to shoulder past
Teal’c instantly responds,
placing a large, hard hand on my chest
which he then uses to gently but
emphatically push me backward.
He’s holdin’ back,
equivalent of a love
tap, still, I’m sent staggering several
steps in reverse all the same.
must insist you do not bother
DanielJackson at this time.”
I kinda got that from the shove.
Thanks for not caving my chest in, by
the way. Appreciate it.
know, I know, he doesn’t want to speak
to me,” I snap.
“I'm officially in the dog house,
I get it. Can't help noticing though,
he doesn’t seem to have any problem
talking to you!”
smug smile grows even…smugger. Carter gives him
a sly glance before buttonholing me
with the blue eyes of doom once more.
have apologized to DanielJackson for
our previous ill-advised attempt at
levity at his expense,” Teal’c explains. “An apology he has
gowan, rub it in.
Traitor. Daniel will forgive
you, no problem, but apparently I’m
gonna have to do a hell of a lot more
grovelling than I was originally figuring
to get back in his good books. That
is presuming you'll let me near him
any time soon in order to do it!
yeah, and the fact we were able to prove,
to his satisfaction, there was no
photographic evidence of his…exposure,
even though I said there was, that
definitely helped,” Carter can't resist
getting her own three cents in.
gloating big time and having way too
much fun in the bargain. That no pictures
right, don’t you believe it! Daniel
might have bought it, but me, I’m not
so easily snowed. I
know she’s got a secret stash somewhere,
and we’ll be getting to that, and her
later but for now –
still here?” Daniel hollers again, his
voice so cold he has to have icicle
that I’m gonna get close enough to him
to be able to tell.
him go away!”
think it would be wise if you left this
place, O’Neill,” Teal’c booms.
and Teal’c are instantly in motion,
each one grabs an arm and I’m wheeled
about and motored halfway down the
corridor before I get I’m being
to the elevator.
– wait – wait a minute, I just want
to talk to him – “ I weakly protest. “We’re going in
the wrong direction, by the way.”
sorry about this, Colonel but Daniel
is really, really angry with you right
now, and honestly I can’t say I blame
him,” Carter scolds while she and Teal’c
squire me further down the hall and
away from Daniel.
you know me you can’t believe – and
Daniel surely can’t be thinking I
did…what I did on purpose. It was an accident. A slip of the –
it was an accident!” I bluster. “I didn’t mean it!”
not,” Teal’c smoothly interjects. “However, I do believe
you were most sincere in your desire
to triumph over DanielJackson no matter
the cost. He
is acutely aware of the strategy you
employed to undermine his efforts prior
to the commencement of the contest.”
has calmed down enough to figure it out. I’m more than hooped,
don’t know what you’re talking
about,” I lie.
Daniel up in the locker room!” Carter
“Sir, you should be ashamed of
now that's rich coming from the Queen
of the Gateroom centre shot, you wanna
talk pots and kettles here, explain
to me how a little bit of pre-game
ribbing is worse than what they did
to him in front of Hammond, sorry,
don’t quite get the distinction, but
obviously I’m not the one who says
who is and isn’t persona non grated
is the one with the deciding vote,
and it seems like I’m being voted off
am, I am, trust me, I am!” I throw them both
a ‘you know you love me’ look guaranteed
to thaw even the hardest
heart. For sure it will
make Carter cave.
Never failed me before.
know it’s fighting dirty, but they
you believe this is true, but we are
not convinced,” Teal’c informs me,
while Carter summons the elevator with
a decisive swipe. “We suggest much
more reflection is required on your
part before we can be assured you are
truly contrite enough to speak to DanielJackson.“
you’re Jimminy Cricket now? You get to make the
ruling on the quality of my repentance? What do I have to
do to make your cut, wear a hair shirt,
give myself a few lashes, manage a
tear or two, is there gonna be a quiz?
do I have to do to make you believe
me, take out a full page ad?” I gape at them. “How does skywriting
are not the ones you have to convince
of your sincerity, O’Neill,” Teal’c
that’s not what I’m hearing.
don’t think you really understand how
much you…what you said to him, how
you…” Carter starts, and then sighs
“He’s really upset, Sir. Really upset. If you go in there
now, try and make light of this, brush
it off, like you always do, like we’ve
let you, on more than one occasion…”
still a little sore about that whole
undercover Tollan weapons sting operation
thing, are we, Carter? And here’s me thinking
all these years those wounds were completely
what other grudges have my team mates
been secretly nursing against me and
do I really want to know?
you not think you have burned enough
bridges with DanielJackson, O’Neill?”
do not understand, O’Neill.”
expression, it’s buried your bridges,
do not believe so.”
trust me, it’s buried.”
are mistaken, O’Neill.”
Sir, but Teal’c is right, you’re
It’s burned your bridges, not
I could have sworn it was – hey, wait
a minute, where the hell are we going
anyway, the briefing isn’t for another
hour and – OW! Carter! Watch the nails!“
Went through the briefing, managed
to ditch my escort and finally made it. I’m here, about
to plead my case with ‘never-gonna-speak-to-you-again’
the interim I’ve had some time, done
some thinking, Teal’c and Carter, they
may have had a point, what I did, what
I said to him, maybe I let my ego run
away with me, just a little bit. It seemed so important
at the time to come out on top, to
show him, them I wasn’t…
it would be mighty ironic if everything
I did to him in an effort to prove
I wasn’t over the hill resulted in
everything being over period between
Daniel and me.
it’s not going to come to that,
not gonna happen.
Daniel’s smart, once he’s
cooled down, a lot, he’ll figure it out,
he knows me, he knows how I think and
he’ll realize where I was coming from. I’m sure some common
sense has penetrated that thick head
of his and his brain is actually working
again so all I have to do is talk to
him and it’ll be fine.
cut me some slack.
We can’t talk about what went
on back there, before…unless he talks
to me, and…he will.
the tricky part – getting a foot in
That’s what these are for; my
back up plan.
My never-fail door opener. These little babies
have never let me down.
the optimist, I rap on Daniel’s door
Almost immediately, the door creaks
open a crack.
it’s you,” Daniel snarls, then slams
it in my face.
not so good.
That common sense thing I was
Not seein’ it yet. Might have
under-estimated the amount of time it took
for Daniel’s brain to reboot.
well, I’m here, might as well go all the
can’t possibly get in any more shit than
I’m already in.
“Daniel?” I address the door. “Oh Daniel, let
away! I’m not speaking to you,
remember!” he stiffly informs me from
the other side.
brung you something,” I patiently reply.
if you think you can buy your way out of
this with a stupid…what is it?” the
muffled voice suspiciously demands, after
a brief pause.
the door and find out.”
a chance, slide it under and get lost.”
he said he wasn’t talking to me!
Three whole sentences from Doctor
Definitely making progress here.
Sure, we’re not actually through
the door, yet, but that is a mere
technicality soon to be rectified. Give me room and
watch me work.
“Can’t. They won’t fit.”
Silence. He’s still there,
on the other side, I can hear him breathing. He’s thinking it
I start again, really giving it the gas. “Come on, Daniel,
let’s talk about this, you know I never
door opens a crack, a hand shoots through,
palm turned up expectantly.
it to me,” the door demands.
there’s my opening, better make the most
you go,” I say, and put the bouquet in
hand withdraws; the door stays open. I stand my ground
and wait. I
could push on through, another time,
another set of circumstances I probably
would, but this situation…tricky. Best to not push
my luck. Things
could still go either way.
Patience, patience, must be
patient, wait for it…
“Roses?” Daniel squeaks,
peering around the door at me, deeply
brought me roses? Jack,
why in the world would you bring me
roses?” He stares
down at the huge bouquet of a dozen
long-stemmed red roses, a dozen extremely
red roses, I might add, he’s clutching
gingerly like they might evaporate in his
interesting question, a fair one, and one,
I must admit I don’t have a ready answer
seemed like the thing to do.
worked on Sara,” I blurt out, and then
promptly want to swallow my tongue.
peers at me through narrowed eyes, a
series of unreadable expressions using his
face to have it out.
Something pretty heavy duty
is racing through his brain a thousand
miles a second, but I can’t get anything
about what’s going on inside from what
I’m seeing outside.
that is so…weird,” Daniel murmurs,
shaking his head and ambling back into his
I cannot help but notice he has
done so without closing the door on me.
like I’m in.
so much,” I protest, shutting the door
behind me and following him into the
“I mean, you and me,” I wave a
hand between us.
“There’s enough of a…that is,
within this context, as gestures go, oddly
enough, I don’t think it’s
Which should be, as Daniel has just
said, weird, but, yanno, it’s not.
doesn’t look at me while he gets a vase
from the cupboard and takes it to the
Sara was your wife,” Daniel quietly
observes, starting to fill the vase with
“Yeah?” I blink innocently
at his back. “And,
know where he’s going with this.
As well as suddenly realizing
where I’m coming from.
wife, Jack,” he calmly continues,
his movements slow, precise, deliberate
while turning from the sink and putting
the vase on the counter. He starts unwrapping
the roses, freeing them from the green
paper and other floral trapping with
exquisite care and then equally carefully
selects one and places it in the vase.
used to bring your wife roses
as…a peace offering, I’m guessing.” It’s not really
a question, he’s thinking out loud,
not expecting an answer, but I’ll give
it to him anyway.
When I really screwed up, big
time,” I tell him, honestly.
“I feel it plenty, but I’m not
very good at saying it.
Sorry, I mean.
She knew…whenever I brought her
roses...I meant…well, they said it
florist must have loved to see you
He puts another long-stemmed beauty
in the vase; fighting a losing battle to
suppress the slight smile I see wrestling
with his lips.
put two of his kids through college,” I
shrug and give him a lame grin.
I screw up a lot; I’m not ashamed to
admit it. Did it then; still doing it,
Sara, she understood, sort of, she
got me, up to a point, for a while, but we
both know how that turned out. All the roses in
the world couldn’t fix what losing
Charlie broke between us.
this was a stupid idea after all. The
whole notion was crazy; I’m crazy, for
doing this, for thinking…
don’t even know what the hell I’m
thinking any more.
I just…” I take an awkward step
“You’re right, it was a stupid
thing to do, but I meant – “
feel like an idiot and grin weakly at his
still, serious face, his assessing eyes
levelled full at me for the first time
since I crossed his threshold. “You know me, never
engage brain before starting engine. I – well, never
mind, forget about it. Forget about the
whole thing. Keep
the roses, enjoy, I’ll just go.”
whirled and taken a couple of steps in
preparation for switching into full-flight
mode as soon as I’m clear of his line
I’ve gotta get out of here before
I do something really stupid. More stupid. Anything else, period.
Daniel’s soft, entreating voice freezes
me in mid-rout.
hear him moving, coming toward me.
He stops, just behind me and
I can feel him standing, close enough
to touch and yet…not.
not your wife,” he murmurs, so close to
my left ear he’s practically blowing in
wish he’d stop saying that.
It’s obvious he’s not, and
that’s not what I meant, when I…not
the way I think of him, not wife,
he couldn’t be, in the sense of Mr and
Mrs Jack O’Neill, not wife but…
yet you thought, you wanted to make up
with me and you thought, doing it like
this, the way you made up with Sara, you
don’t know what I was thinking.
Now I think he thinks I’m
a nut case. He’s probably right. I should get the
hell out of here before both our opinions
of my relative sanity or lack thereof
poised to evacuate but Daniel beats me to
the rush, putting a gentle hand on my
shoulder holding me harder and faster to
the spot than being stuck there with
a vat of superglue.
what are you trying to tell me?” he asks
gently, applying a little pressure to my
shoulder, nudging me to about face
and face him. “What are you really
saying sorry for?”
should get the heck out of here, possibly
my last chance for saving face, but I go
with the nudge and turn, my head hanging. We’re standing eye
to eye, but I still can’t…meet his. I’m not exactly
sure what’s happening here, not sure
what’s going through his head, what
he’s trying to find out, why he’s called
I know for sure is I know absolutely
nothing except, what happened out there,
that brief, strange, wonderful moment with
him under me, and how incredible it
felt, every thrust, every touch, I
haven’t been able to stop thinking
about it, or him, especially that split
second when everything about him and
me, and me and him, finally made sense.
we were engaging in the almost X-rated
horizontal mambo in the Quaar astrodome I
got it, I really did, the whole buck
and wing lah-di-dah Daniel and I have
been doing around each other for years,
I clued in what it means, what he
means to me. I
can’t believe how stupid I’ve been. All these years
I might as well have been walking around
with a bag on my head, to not have
that was then, now, I haven’t got a
thing to hide behind; I’m as exposed as
Daniel was during the ritual humiliation
he was recently subjected to in the
name of interplanetary diplomacy and
good will. I’m
being stripped as surely and completely,
laid as bare, soul or skin, not much
difference from where I’m standing
it hurts, God it hurts and I can’t
stop it from happening any more than
might know, for the first time in my life,
maybe, what I want, I mean, really,
really want, but that doesn’t mean…
doesn’t mean squat.
Not unless he…he wants me back.
are you saying, Jack?”
Daniel prompts again, running his
hand up my shoulder ‘til it’s curled
around the back of my neck. “Sorry? Sorry for what?”
can’t…I can’t… I want – want to
tell him, I – I do, but…but...mouth
opening, nothing coming out.
for turning your back on me because you
couldn’t afford to look too closely? Sorry for all the
times you shut me up and down because
you were afraid to listen? Sorry for all years
you’ve wasted lying to yourself, and
give a little nod to tell him he’s on
the right track, but the talking thing? Still can’t do it. He rubs the back
of my neck in acknowledgement, and
his hand, resting there, feels so good
you long enough,” Daniel whispers,
cupping my cheek in the palm of his other
hand, using it to gently raise my head
until our eyes meet.
His are glowing, like he has
this quiet, constant fire burning inside
him. Been there,
it’s always been there, I could have
seen it, before now, if I’d looked
closely and deeply enough and now,
there’s no missing it, even someone
as dense as me could make it out from
clear across the room, the way he’s
lifted the shutters and let it shine…
I inanely utter.
yeah, one thing,” he says with a slight
shake of his head.
“You picked a hell of a place to
buy a clue, O’Neill.”
that…” I try again, but those eyes,
I really could have done without the
whole…naked in front of the whole damned
planet…thing,” he says huskily, moving
closer, his body pressing into mine,
I have to admit…it was kind
I moan, putting my hands on his waist,
rocking forward, feeling…
that warm, wet mouth, so close…killing
Our lips are like only a molecule
apart and I close my eyes, trembling,
aching for him to cross that small gap.
he waiting for, dying here!
well, I don’t suppose it matters now,”
“Sure, it was a pretty mean
trick, Jack, really low, even for you, but
I guess I can find it in my heart to
It was an act of desperation, not
that it did you any good, I still beat
of a bitch!
He’s messing with me!
eyes fly open and Daniel twists quickly
out of my grasp, dancing mockingly just
out of reach.
you calling old?” I snap and make a grab
for him he easily evades.
waaay too slow, O’Neill,” he jeers,
jigging around in a little circle, his
eyes animated with mischievous glee.
feeling pretty mischievous myself.
“Don’t kid yourself, kiddo,”
I leer, taking a step forward, which
he immediately mirrors, only backwards. “You got lucky,
that’s all. There’s
still more than enough snap in this
old snake to take you down.”
promises,” he taunts, grinning like a
is cheap. Care to put your mouth where
you money is?”
“Sure! C’mere and I’ll
be happy to put you on your ass!”
don’t think so,” he shakes his head
mockingly, starting to dance away from me
He’s gonna make a break for it,
at least he’s gonna try, not that
it’ll do him any good; I’ll be on him
before he’s cleared the kitchen.
“You want this ass, you’re
gonna have to work for it. Catch me, if you
can, and oh, for the record, about
the stripping off thing, if that’s
what it took to bring you down,
I’d have done exactly the same
thing to you!”
it, no more Mister Nice Guy!”
want stripping, I’ll show you stripping!” I roar, and lunge
at him, a split second after he commences
a giggling gallop for the living room. We hurtle through
the apartment, sliding around the corner;
I’m hot on his heels all the way. He’s headed for
the bedroom. He’ll
never make it there alive.
“You are so going down!” I yell, grabbing
a handful of shirt, but before I can
properly lock on and lift him off his
feet he jerks free.
he throws over his shoulder before
throwing himself through the open bedroom
you have my word on it you’ll have me on
may have won the first battle but I’m
coming out on top in the end.
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