EXTREMITY BY PHOENIX
Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves
Angst. Drama. Hurt/Comfort.
events evoke desperate emotions.
Extremely Intense emotional situation.
|| 250 Kb
Originally completed and posted to the net 01 Jul
Notes: Once again, thanks to Biblio for holding my hand through this thing.
And helping me to see what needed to be dne to make it (hopefully) come
out right. Oh, and I take NO responsibility for Jack's inspired extemporization
on the subject of cuppage. I just added Daniel's reaction. The rest is
all Biblio's fault.
hours since I ate anything. I think I had breakfast, but
I'm not sure. Geez, I can't even remember when I had my
last meal; better not let Janet get wind of that! I should
probably try to...eat...something. Or not. Even if I
had a clue what I want - which I don't - the mere thought
of food is making my stomach churn. I don't even want
another cup of coffee. I'm wired.
than a rabid mongoose, actually. I haven't got a clue
what to do with myself. I can't sit still, I can't concentrate,
this place is getting to me. The walls are closing in
and I can't breathe. I've got to get out of here, but I
can't leave. I have to wait for him.
stand this standing around, I want to DO something. There's
nothing to do. Nothing I can do but wait. Oh, I could
scream around the city trying to find him, but halfway
across the universe isn't the only place Jack is very,
very good at the 'not being seen' thing. He won't be anywhere
anyone could hope to find him when he's in this kind of
mood. He'll come in from the cold when he's damned good
and ready, and not a moment before.
leaves me exactly where I started. Right back to square
one. Waiting. Going nuts. Bouncing off the walls of
my apartment and trying not to turn into a gibbering, drooling
maniac. Screaming, anyone?
nuts. I have to calm down. Try to read something. Sit.
Fetch. Heel, bark, roll over.
psycho boy. I have no idea what sort of condition Jack
is going to be in when he finally does get here. The last
thing he needs is me going off on him, doing some kind
of demented 'where the hell have you been' thing all over
him, like I'm his wife keeping tabs on him or something.
It's just - I've been sitting here for hours. It's the
middle of the night and he could be ANYWHERE. Getting
pissed to the gills, picking fights with bikers, mouthing off
at homicidal maniacs, playing chicken in the middle of the
interstate. The memories crawling around in my head are
bad enough and all I had to do was get a little exercise
and see a lot of stuff I'd rather not have. I didn't
actually have to do - what he had to.
a knock on the door? It - it was. It has to be Jack,
couldn't be anyone else at this hour. Oh God, he's here!
But he's knocking on the door, not using his key. That's
- that's not good. He never knocks. Not when he's - not
when he's himself.
stands on ceremony, he just barges in and makes himself
at home. Sam and I each gave him a key a few months ago
- just in case. I've got his as well. For emergencies.
You never know, sometimes stuff happens. At least, it
seems to happen to us. As soon as he got my key Jack basically
viewed it as carte blanche to butt into my life whenever
the mood struck him. I got used to him just showing up
and letting himself in. He still manages to scare the
crap out of me on a regular basis. He tells me watching
me peel myself off the ceiling is one of his reasons for
living. I'll be minding my own business, alone in my own
living space, or so I foolishly believe, turn around and
he's just standing there, grinning at me. How Special Ops
trained colonels evidently keep their skulking skills honed
and get their kicks at the same time. I faked passing
out from shock once just to see if it would teach him a
lesson. He threw a glass of really cold water on me.
It got ugly. He still just waltzes right on in whenever
he feels like it. Mi casa
es su casa?
not tonight, though. Tonight he doesn't feel comfortable
enough to just walk in. He's waiting for an invitation.
I'm trying not to think about what his reluctance could
mean as I scramble quickly over to get the door.
are shaking so badly I can barely work the lock and get
the damned thing open. It's Jack, all right. But he sure
isn't all right. He's slumped up against the wall on the
opposite side of the hallway directly across from my door,
glaring at me. His arms folded tightly across his chest,
his face dark with dread and hesitation.
in the open doorway and we stare at each other for a minute
or two. My mind is a blank - there's so much pain in his
eyes it's like a blow to the stomach. He takes in the stunned
look on my face and the anguish in him abruptly spikes.
He thinks he's seeing - thinks I don't want him here.
late," he growls as he swallows and looks away. "I - I
got here," I reply as I back away from the door, deliberately
leaving it open.
come in, but I can't crowd him. Can't rush him either.
I just continue backing into the apartment, counting on
what brought him here being stronger than whatever else
it is he's feeling making him want to turn tail and run.
Of what - I have no idea. But he is afraid of something.
Of me? That's - that's crazy. Why should he be afraid
it this far. He won't run away now. Even though he's
more spooked and desperate than I've ever seen him before.
pushes himself away from the wall and stands wavering in
the middle of the hall for a couple of seconds. Eyes locked
on me, it's plain he wants to, but still is not quite able
to bring himself to cross the threshold. It's like the
door to my apartment is some kind of line he's dreading
stepping over. If he crosses it - if he comes in, he's
it is he came here for, if he walks through my door there's
no turning back.
disturbingly fatalistic, but then so is the look on Jack's
in, Jack," I say to him softly. "I've been waiting up
and abruptly peels off his jacket. His movements are rapid,
rough, almost self-loathing. He wrings the jacket cruelly
in his hands and stares down at his feet, his jaw clenching.
Then he makes a strange, almost strangled sound and starts
walking toward me.
know what makes me look down at his shoes. They're damp,
so are the cuffs of his pants, and a couple of pieces of
grass are clinging to them, like what happens when you
walk through wet grass that's just been mown and pick up
some of the clipping. So Jack's just been walking through some
grass. So - so what?
God. I know where he's been. I don't know how I know, but
my head snaps up, our eyes meet and I see it. I know where
he's been. Oh God, Jack. How long did you sit there and
stare at that headstone?
He's been with Charlie.
the door behind him, flings his jacket to the floor and
glares at me. His face crumbles, he angrily jams the heels
of his hands into his eye sockets. He's reeking with fear
and something darker - dangerous. I just stare at him and
watch him trying to bring himself back under control.
There's nothing I can say - nothing I can think of to say.
scrubs his face with his hands and then lifts his head.
His face - his eyes. The wrenching bleakness in his expression,
the complete lack of hope... I know I was expecting him
to be upset - but this is way over the top. And it's wrong.
Now that he's here, he should be relaxing, feeling like
he can kick back and just get to whatever he needs to,
like every other time he's come over needing a shoulder
or a place to let off some steam. He knows this is a safe
place, he's welcome and we've got no secrets from each
other. Never needed them. No secrets... The way he's
acting is so off, instead of feeling like he's safe, it's
almost as if the reason he's so upset is because he IS
doesn't - trust himself? If he stays, it's going to be
understand. Why would he - everything's the same, nothing's
changed. It's still the same old place, still me.
Whatever he's so afraid of, whatever he's standing there
hating himself over, it's something to do with me.
toward me, eyes sliding away from me before our gazes can
fully connect. Won't look me in the eye, hasn't said a
word, his movements are jerky and reluctant like someone's
got a pistol jammed into his back forcing him to advance.
toward me like he'd rather die than take another step and
yet if he doesn't - it's the same thing.
in his expression suddenly makes me think of Abydos. What?
Okay, that's the second time I've looked at Jack today
and been reminded of Abydos. He was such a different man,
back then. A dead man walking. Dead inside, convinced
he was damned, going through the motions, just putting
in time until he could put an end to it.
me once he almost did it. He was already damned and disgraced
in his own mind because he'd failed Charlie and Sara, and
thought maybe a life for a life would restore the balance
somehow. He was sitting in Charlie's room with his gun
the day they came to tell him he was being called back
to active duty. So, he didn't do it. Because they'd just
offered him another way, a better way to atone. He'd redeem
himself by going out in a blaze of glory in the service of his
country. So Sara would be proud of him again, wouldn't
have to hang her head being the wife of such a failure.
as the geek genius could crack the code and give him his
one way ticket to martyrsville. I didn't let you down, did
I Jack? Performed to requirements. Did the job. Gave
you what you needed. And that's why you're here right
now. You need - you need something from me, but...
Oh - oh
to find some peace with Charlie, but it didn't work. He
didn't find what he was looking for, there. So, he came
here. But coming here is making it worse. He wants acceptance,
release, a haven, but he doesn't think he's going to find
it. Doesn't believe he's going to get what he wants. Instead,
he's going to get what he thinks he deserves. Scorn.
Rejection. Confirmation of how despicable he knows he is.
the one who's going to give it to him. Just like Sara
What does he think is so terrible that I wouldn't - couldn't?
Again, I don't know how I know, but this isn't about what
happened out there. That's what's driving him to need
- to need to come here, to me, but it's not what he's so
about me. What he needs from me to get through what happened
out there. And what he thinks I'll do when he - when
don't know what the problem is, but there's only one way
to find out, isn't there, Jack?
what I said. Whatever you need. Maybe I don't understand
what that means to you right now, but I do know how much
you mean to me.
my choice. We're in this together, Jack. Whatever 'this'
is. But right now, I think it's up to me to make the first
move. The way he's looking like he wants to die Mohammed
might not make it to the mountain, sooo....
I'll admit it. The suspense is killing me too.
takes me two long strides to close the gap between us.
Jack freezes in surprise as I start to move, flinching when I
reach his side.
His voice is a barely audible whisper of anguish as he
begs me with his eyes. Don't touch him, or don't hate
him - I don't know which one he means. It doesn't matter,
I'm not thinking this one through, just going with the
flow. I feel so calm and sure I know exactly what I'm
doing it'd be freaking me a bit if I had time to worry
my gaze with his, reach up, cup my hand around the back
of his neck and carefully lower his head to my shoulder. He
stiffens at my touch, but doesn't try to resist.
to shake as I cradle his head and pull him closer to me.
His hands come up, he presses them against my chest and
I can feel his arms quivering with tension. He's fighting
with himself, so close to pushing me away and yet he doesn't
and I just hold him there, stroking the back of his head,
trying to calm him. He's trembling like a skittish colt,
caught on the edge of wanting to bolt and letting himself be
This isn't so bad. You can relax. You don't need to be
clench angrily on my chest. He groans, a hopeless, heart-rending
sound and then his shoulders sag. His arms wrap around
me, he crushes me so tightly to him I can hardly breathe,
he turns his face into my neck and sobs.
right, Jack, it's all right. Everything's going to be
him close and try to soothe him as his body heaves with
tears that won't break free. His hands are fiercely fisted
in my shirt and then they open and start to move across
my back. Slowly stroking, feeling, the arcs they're describing
getting bigger, firmer, then getting bolder, more demanding,
roaming hungrily, fingers clutching, needing. He's breathing
harder, his breath hot, harsh and gasping against my throat
as his mouth sears the skin, nuzzling, seeking, wetly sucking,
KISSING me - kissing my neck, feeling me like he wants...He
wants to make love to me. That's what he wants. THAT'S
why he thinks...
me. Jack's in love with me. He wouldn't be here - wanting
this - wanting ME if he didn't, he's not that kind of man.
I honestly didn't know, not until this very second and
yet, now that I do - there were so many things I saw but
didn't SEE that are all making sense, now. Making perfect
sense. How could I not have known - how could I have been
so blind? Oh Jack, I'm so sorry! How long have you felt
like this? How long have you kept this secret?
do I let you know no matter what you think, this doesn't
change a thing. Okay, maybe it does, what am I saying,
I guess it changes EVERYTHING, but not - not the way I care
about you and respect you - and - and - OH! OH GOD!
have dropped to my buttocks, clamp fiercely, he pulls me
abruptly forward, hard, as he rocks his pelvis roughly
into mine and I FEEL him, engorged with urgent need crushing
help it. It's one thing to know, another to feel - to KNOW.
I cry out with the incredible shock of the contact. It's
so intense, so unexpected, so overwhelming.
at the sound of my strangled gasp. He doesn't move, doesn't
make a sound, just slumps wearily against me, waiting.
for me to push him away with shock and disgust.
too as I take his face in my hands, lift his head up from
my shoulder so I can look into his eyes. He hasn't let
go of me, his hands are still clamped to my ass, our groins
glued together. The resulting sensations racing through
me are making it a little hard for me to focus. Not just
from what I'm feeling, but from what it's doing to me.
Which was the last thing I expected, it's true, but I'm open.
it would seem, becoming incredibly aroused by being touched
by my best friend. My, oh my...
eyes are stinging with tears he can't shed. He blinks
with the pain as his naked, helpless gaze meets mine.
His is the face of the lost and hopeless as he waits for
the only fate he expects.
know. His eyes scream their shame at me.
I do indeed.
I know how he feels. I know what he wants. It's not just
- physical. This isn't about sex, although he wants that
too. It's more. Much more than that. Jack wants ME.
Body and soul. He wants me to want him, to accept him,
to - to - knowing everything I know about him, every terrible
thing he's done, the most terrible to date being to fall
in love with his best friend.
to love me and he wants me to let him.
do that for him. It's a bit of a shock as I realise it,
but what are my choices, really? Will I or won't I? Bit
of a no-brainer. Saying yes means - well, I know what
it means, but weighing my sensibilities against the alternative
- what it will do to him if I spurn him, especially when
he's so strung out from expecting exactly that - not an
option. Saying no to Jack right now will destroy him.
I can't hurt him like that. Maybe I've never done anything
like this before, but this is Jack we're talking about.
He's my best friend, the most important person in the world
to me. I trust him with my life, he's laid his own life
on the line for me, so many times. After everything we've
been through together, the things we've seen and done,
the way he's been there for me, how can I say no?
since I've pretty much already said yes. He just hasn't
heard me yet. Better start talking a little louder.
my thumb across his cheek. He blinks in surprise, his certainty
of my contempt wavering. I've never done anything like
this before - never even CONSIDERED doing anything like
this before, well, maybe in an abstract moment of curiosity,
once or twice, but then, hasn't everybody? Even if they
don't admit it. He does have a rather amazing mouth, that
lower lip so lush and full, I've always been fascinated
by the shape and sometimes I've been looking at it and
there's been a moment or two when I've...wondered... Uh...where
was I? Kissing Jack. I'm going to kiss Jack. I can do
this. Lips are lips. If I close my eyes, what's the difference?
do this. I - I want to do this. He loves me, and he's
been suffering because of it. He means more to me than
I can say. I would do anything for him. Anything. Even
slowly forward and touch my mouth to his. Barely touching,
tentative and yet surprising. It feels pretty - nice -
and I've given a little moan of astonished delight before
even realising it. Jack surges toward me at the sound,
grinding his mouth into mine, turning tentative into
tempestuous before I can catch my breath. He's devouring
my mouth, his hands are delving under my shirt, scorching my
skin, I gave him an opening and oh God, is he taking it.
complaining. He's a good kisser, really - really good.
Amazing, actually, but - but I'd like to go a little slower,
is all, get used to the sensations, adjust. I like what
I'm feeling, it's a little surprising, but good, if I like it,
even better, it's not just for Jack, easier to do it if
it's good for both of us. Feels good, his hands, touching
me, his tongue scraping the back of my throat, I'm responding,
becoming aroused, I CAN do this, wasn't really sure when
I started, but it's happening. I'm getting into it.
however, has a big head start. Also evidently a much firmer
grasp on what he wants. It gets much firmer, he'll be leaving
wait a minute - Jack, slow - slow down. I need a minute.
I can't breathe. He's coming on so strong, he's all over
me so passionately, so - so forcefully I'm feeling a little
overwhelmed. Pushing against me - pushing me, pushing
me back. Too fast. It's happening too fast.
is gone, his too. He's still frantically kissing me, butting
into me, pushing me urgently toward the couch as his fingers
fumble with my belt. Too fast, he's going too fast, it's
all happening so fast. I feel like I'm being consumed
by his passion. Lost in it, drowning in his desire. My
mind is exploding with sensations, reeling with confusion,
I'm on a rollercoaster careening out of control while I
was thinking Ferris Wheel.
gone mental and he's taking me with him.
me sprawling on the couch and ruthlessly strips the rest
of my clothes from my body. I'm gasping, reeling, trying
to keep up. Suddenly, what's happening is scaring me a
little. This is a side of Jack I've never seen before and if I
wasn't so terrified right now I'd be laughing at what is
possibly the most ABSURD statement I've ever made.
with this. I am. Oh God, not going to freak. I guess
asking for a time-out is out of the question. Guess I
should have thought of that before I let the genie out
of the bottle. He's OUT now, and I'm - I'm -
I've made my bed, now all I can do is get...laid.
his naked, thrusting body on top of me and absolute panic
grips me as he pins me flat. I can't help it, it's too
much, he's too heavy, too horny, oh God, what's he doing? He's
- he's humping me! I didn't think this through. I-
I've changed my mind. I can't - I have to get up from under
him, NOW. I buck up against him, trying to push him off
me and he cries out my name, starts kissing the side of my
neck and my jaw as he mindlessly rams me into the cushions
in an orgiastic frenzy.
close my eyes and hold on. It's too late. It's already
gone too far. He's already too far gone. He's past being
able to help himself or stop what he's doing and I can't
- I won't - I won't let him know I'm scared. I won't spoil
this for him or let him think I don't want this as much as he
does. I - I do. I would have if I'd had a little more time,
if it wasn't happening so fast. I'm not sorry I started
this. Not. I'm not I'm not I'm not.
him close to me as he shudders and sobs his release into
my neck, kiss his head as the shock of warm stickiness
shoots across the skin of my belly. It's okay, it's over.
We got through this. It wasn't so bad. He'll feel better,
now. So will I. I just need a minute.
on top of me, gasping and sobbing into my chest. I hold
him tight, and try to fight down my own tears. I don't
know what I'm feeling right now. But that doesn't matter
because I feel tears, real tears, Jack's tears on my chest.
He's finally letting it go, releasing the horror and loathing,
he'll start to come clean now.
him good. That's all that matters. I was able to give
him what he needed. What it means...I'll - I'll sort it
out later. I'll deal with this later. Later.
I do know
he still means everything to me. That's a good place to
start. No regrets. I won't let him ever think or know
Jack snuffles sheepishly into my chest as he shifts his
weight off me and starts to gently caress me. "I kinda
lost it on you."
say anything. Emotion is roiling around in my chest and
I try to gulp it back down before I - before I...
trails lightly down my heaving, sticky abdomen until it
comes to rest atop my flaccid penis.
come," he whispers, his voice gentle, caring, concerned.
I bite back a sob as his fingers curl reverently around
me, softly touching, stroking. "Awww, Danny, it wasn't
supposed to be like this."
he tells me again as he starts to nuzzle his lips against
my chest. Kissing me lightly, tenderly, with evident appreciation.
"I shouldn't have been so nuts, but you don't know how
long, how goddam long I've wanted to do this, to touch
you like this, to FEEL you. You feel so good." His fingers
are feathering lightly across my groin, exploring, gently
coaxing, so gentle, so respectful, relaxing...,nice, His
touch is making me tingle, his lips working softly against
my skin, making me.... I'm getting...I'm feeling better,
this is better, more my speed.
Danny," he groans. "You have no idea what you do to me."
Oh I dunno,
I think I'm getting warm. The apology is really helping.
if I scared you." Licking, he's licking me now. Long,
lingering swipes of his tongue on my skin, making me shiver
and what he's doing down there....ohhhhh..... I close
my eyes and just sink into the sensations he's evoking
within me. He's so careful, so concerned. Every tender
touch speaking more eloquently what he feels for me than mere
words could ever hope to.
me now. Mmmmmmm. Nice and slow. I like it slow. I like
this. Kissing. Slow and long and deep and ohhhhh, this
is better. Much, much better...
wasn't just about sex, you know," he murmurs as his mouth
caresses me. "I would never - you - you know. Be that
way with you."
I do. I - I did. I do. I got caught off-guard by how MUCH
he wanted me, but he meant me no harm. And no harm was
done. I may have been in over my head for a bit, but I was
always safe. I feel that, know it now. I'm with Jack.
He's still Jack. Still the decent, caring human being I've
always known him to be. Even if he can't see himself that way
the man I'd do anything for. As he would for me. And we're
still - us. We came together all those years ago, have
had this bond, this - this connection that was always there.
We never felt the need to question it, it was what it was
and so were we. It never needed a name, but maybe now
it has one. And we still don't have to say it for it to
be exactly what it is.
everything with him, life, death, joy, hardship, disappointment,
expectation, grief, hope - maybe this was inevitable.
The next, logical step, the only thing left that we hadn't
shared. The last line we had to cross in order to be everything
we could be to each other. Like we were always meant to
all, who else is there? When I think about the future,
years down the road, every time I've wondered who I'd want
standing beside me for the rest of whatever is to come,
his face is the only one I see. The only one I WANT to
that should have told me something. That's okay, I think
I get it now.
you let me - you did this for me," Jack breathes into my
ear as he kisses the side of my face. "You didn't - you
don't feel the same way I do and yet you did this for me.
Thank you. I don't deserve this. Don't deserve you. I
don't know why you - you let me - "
I interject with a sudden, blazing surge of conviction.
I do. I know why I did everything. Why I'd do it again,
without a moment's hesitation. Whatever he wants, whatever
he needs, again and again and again.
his neck and kiss him hard and then I tell him why, the
words flying out of me as bliss swells within me like
something else is swelling and throbbing as he pumps and I
thrust up helplessly in response. I'm getting lost
again, but this time it's good. My body is starting to
convulse uncontrollably with the pleasure he's giving me. The
touch of his hands, the feel of his mouth on my skin. Tongue.
too fast this time. Definitely not. And good. It feels
really, really good.
"Like that, do ya?" Jack grins as he curls his tongue
around my other nipple. Jack's no linguist, but he takes
the yes, God YES gist of my slightly strangled gurgle of
see what else you like, shall we?" he smiles malevolently
at me as he licks his lips.
yourself out," I manage to gasp before I start screaming.
to be morning soon. Brand new day a'dawning. Whole new
ballgame looming on the horizon. Not to mention sound
asleep and drooling on my chest.
a first. I'm lying in my bed, and I'm not alone. The
first time I've been able to say that since I got the bed.
I'm not just 'not alone', I'm lying in my bed with my best
friend. Who fell asleep in my arms after giving me not
one but several of the most shattering orgasms I've ever
experienced in my life.
as how neither one of us does casual I guess this is going
to require us to slightly re-evaluate our relationship.
help it. Calling Jack my lover still sounds...weird, but
after what we did tonight I don't think either one of us
can go back to just warm handshakes, slaps on the back
and stupid nicknames.
was up to me, I'd pass on the whole nickname thing because
from now on, they're just going to get worse. Not only
are they going to be stupid, they're going to be sappy
as well. It's the only downside to this new - understanding
- between us I can see right now, so I suppose I shouldn't
complain. Mind you, I do have my limits. He calls me baby
and he's sleeping on the floor.
JACK'S ASLEEP IN MY BED! A part of me still needs to freak
about it for a little while, but not much longer. The
rest of me, most of the rest of me...we're okay. Jack
couldn't have tried harder to make up his earlier - impetuousness
- to me. In fact, he's barely let me touch him at all,
he was so determined to make it up to me. He's licked
practically every inch of me - several times, and I've
got a whole new respect for and fascination with his mouth.
Whew. I've come so many times I'm wondering if I'm going
to be able to walk.
have to be quite so attentive. I know he never meant me
to think this was just a one off. A little stress relief.
That's not the way Jack operates. I know how much he cares
for me. That's why it was so hard for him to come to me
in the first place. He had no reason to think I'd want
him. He's been holding onto this secret for a long time,
living with wanting something he never believed he could
have, being my friend without letting his desires impinge
upon the respect he held for me. He would have continued
to keep his secret if what happened on P7C-414 yesterday
hadn't pushed him over the edge.
Not - not for what happened on the planet, but that it
finally drove him into my arms. He's here, now. In my
bed. In my arms.
my lover. My best friend and my lover. Lover. Jack is
my lover. You know, the more I say it, it doesn't sound
so weird. It sounds...nice.
where?" Jack startles me as he snaps abruptly awake and
reacts violently to some very unfamiliar surroundings and
circumstances. Panic flares briefly in his eyes; he doesn't
know where he is or who he's with and for a split second
I think he's going to leap up out of bed howling for his
P-90. Then he looks down, sees me, sees it's me and freezes,
an agonised look of uncertainty on his face. I smile at
him and reach up to touch his cheek. He heaves a vast
sigh of relief at the small gesture of reassurance, then
grins wickedly and drops his head back down on my chest.
Right in the middle of the wet spot.
he groans as he swipes at the drool with the palm of his
hand. "Can you NOT sleep with your mouth OPEN? That's
disgusting," he grumbles.
you say, it's your drool, not mine," I gently tease. "As
bodily secretions go, it's not too bad. It's less disgusting
than other things you could be dribbling on me."
ever let anyone tell you that you don't have the soul of
a poet, Doctor Jackson," Jack ripostes as he rolls off
me. "It's a relief to know I won't be drowning in a sea
the kettle black," I snort at him. "Sap is your middle
well, just don't spread it around, will ya?" he peers
at me with mock severity. "I've got a hard-assed reputation
be feeling a little sappy myself, I just let that one go.
is very serious now, and full of concern as he reaches
over to brush his fingers across my cheek. "You - okay
with all this?" he asks softly. His eyes saying clearly,
'tell me the truth'.
I reply, giving him exactly what he asked for. "I'm fine."
his grin is brighter than a kid's on Christmas morning.
as he leaps on top of me. "Wanna take a shower?" he leers
as he waggles his eyebrows suggestively at me. "I'll scrub
your ass - BACK - I mean - back for you."
could definitely get used to this. In no time at all.
Jack yowls as he sulkily nurses the hand I've just slapped.
you right," I remorselessly inform him. "Go get your own
chocolates. I brought these for Sam, not you."
eyes are sparkling with mischief as we exchange glances.
"That's okay, Daniel,' she begins as she reaches toward
the box. "I don't mind sharing. Besides, Sir," she
says innocently as she plucks a chocolate from the box.
"Every one you eat, that's just one less temptation for
me." She shrugs and pops the chocolate into her mouth.
at me, thinking he's been vindicated as he sidles back
up to the box to help himself once more.
isn't quite finished with him yet.
shouldn't eat any of these," she grins ruefully. "They're
SO good, but I've got to watch my girlish figure, you know.
Stuff like this - straight to the hips. I guess you're
not as concerned about...expanding universes, huh, Colonel?"
she finishes as she gives his butt a pensively assessing
once over, her serious scowl clearly conveying the impression
she's not impressed with what she's seeing.
could kiss you! On second thought, maybe later. Jack's
ego has already taken a fairly stiff blow, no need to provoke
him any further. I won't, however, apologise for thoroughly
enjoying the moment.
hand jerks back from the box like he's been stung. Repelled
by a very large ego bee. He cranes his neck sharply around,
trying to get a look at what Sam is shaking her head sorrowfully
at and only succeeds in turning himself about in a swift
circle like a dog chasing his tail. Which makes a pleasant
change from his current full time obsession with chasing
overweight tail, if the astrophysicist's estimation is
to be believed. Having just seen that 'tail' myself quite
recently au naturel, I could put Jack's mind at ease about
the state of his ass's universe. I could. But I'm not
insecurity is good for him. Teaches him humility. Is really,
REALLY fun to watch.
can be as petty as the next person. I'm just really sneaky
about it. With that surface layer of 'sweet and nice' they
never see me coming. With the obvious exception, of course.
not fat!" Jack finally blusters indignantly once he stops
spinning. He glares at the three of us, daring us to dispute
him. We say nothing. He crosses his arms huffily across
his chest and retreats slightly with a suspicious sniff.
The chocolates remain manifestly unmolested.
so much better. She's got a little more recuperation
time in the infirmary ahead of her, but it's just so good
to see her awake, alert, laughing and smiling and clearly
on the mend.
good to see her alive.
has hardly left her side since she got out of surgery.
He's been right there, lending a hand any way he saw one was
needed. Jack and I have tried to drop in on her as
frequently as we could over the past few days. Jack's
still a little uncomfortable around her. Still feeling a
little guilty. I'm beginning to understand why.
What he was trying to tell me, when we were here before, at
her side, just the three of us. I'm pretty sure I know
what he thinks he did.
dealt with it yet, but we will. It's all part of this new
thing that's 'us', now. We're still feeling our way around,
discovering new things, finding out what we both want and
need. And it isn't all about the bedroom, although, admittedly,
to be honest, the last few days - we haven't exactly gotten
out much. Which has been just as much my idea as his.
Maybe more. I wasn't quite ready the first time, but I've
adjusted. Uh huh. Catching on really quick. Jack's the
one not knowing what he's let loose these days. We've both
had a lot of downtime over the past four years, more than
making up for lost time, and okay, he's hot. I'm not thinking
about much else but him, and his butt and his mouth and
his hands and his -
enough of that. We're supposed to be here visiting Sam,
not - get your mind out of the gutter for thirty seconds,
slut boy. Who knew I was such a mutt? I'll die before
I admit it to Jack, though. He's getting too big for his
britches as it is.
it again, aren't I?
how's your arm?" Sam asks as she licks her fingers, eyes
the box, smirks at Jack and then winces a bit as she tries
to settle back in bed and evidently hits a sore spot.
Teal'c is instantly right in there rearranging the pillows
propping her up until she can comfortably and painlessly
recline. Sam gives him a grateful look before continuing.
"Janet said you took some stone shrapnel while you were
saving my butt. Did I thank you for that, by the way?"
muttering something as he sidles up to me. He's up to
no good. I can see it in his eyes. When his hand sneaks
around and ends up on my ass his intentions are no longer
do the same for me," I shrug. "I'm fine, Sam," I reply,
ignoring the hand which has ceased to perch and is starting
to roam. "It was nothing, really. Just a few scratches."
good," she sighs. "It was rough for a while back there,
though, wasn't it?" she continues, giving each of us a
steady look. "Just before Daniel got the gate open I was
almost thinking we weren't going to make it."
not the only one," I admit quite truthfully.
happen," Jack states firmly as he gives my right cheek
a pat. "We're good at what we do. Better than them.
We're here, aren't we?"
I've been thinking about those....soldiers," Sam says
as she watches Jack's face closely for his reaction.
his smile fades and he makes a dismissive gesture with
his free hand. "What about 'em?"
they probably weren't actual - children. That is, they
weren't at one time kids who were taken and turned into
- uh - kid-bots, like the Goa'uld harvesting humans and
turning them into hosts. I'm sure they were clones, and
if that is the case their bodies were probably genetically
manipulated to present an immature, youthful appearance
even though the bodies themselves had to have completed
the growth process. It's also not likely they possessed
any higher cognitive functions, in fact their brains could
be - "
Major," Jack interrupts with false brightness. 'I get
the picture. Daniel already suggested something along
those lines. You're probably both right. There's no way
we're ever going to know 'cause we're sure as hell not
going back there and in any case, it's all over and done
the deed, but not the aftermath. Dealing with what happened
back there is going to be a process for all of us. We're
not going to get past it overnight, but we will, eventually.
We're making a beginning, all four of us, and being together
again and knowing it's just a matter of time before we're
all back in the traces and heading out into the unknown
as a team once more is helping to put a lot of the ghosts
get through this. All of us. We're a team and we face
everything that happens to us out there together. This
is no different. As long as we've got each other, we've
pretty much got everything we need.
already made a fair start, each one finding their own unique
expressive outlet for working things through. Teal'c?
Well, Teal'c serves. He's been the indefatigable and completely
willing extension of Sam's every whim. She doesn't need
to lift a finger, she's got Jaffa support.
been eating. I've known her for four years and never once
suspected she has been concealing this secret sugar addiction.
Sweet tooth doesn't even begin to cover it. I'm seeing
lots of 'you've got to keep them away from me, Daniel'
moments in my future. Hah! I could tell her a little
bit about secret, insatiable cravings at the moment.
opting for being bad. He's very good at being bad, and
right now he's being positively outrageous. And he's just
getting warmed up.
the only one.
find myself wishing I could appeal to the remainder of
my team to help me deal with my most immediately pressing
problem. Who is pressing into my side, smiling smugly, so
proud of himself as he's copping a surreptitious but extensive
feel right under Sam and Teal'c's oblivious noses.
SO pushing it right now. Cocky bastard. Don't you try
that innocent 'who me?' grin on me!
you guys haven't been too bored while the team is stood
down," Sam sighs as she nestles her head back more comfortably
into her pillow. Teal'c solemnly reaches for the box of
chocolates, which is now out of her reach, and offers it
to her with a flourish. She grins at him, but shakes her
head, and he returns it to the bedside table with his usual,
slightly intimidating grace. He cocks an eyebrow at us
and then turns his attention back to Sam as she poses her
me what's happening, guys," she says as she stifles a yawn.
"The way you've been popping in and out, you must be keeping
pretty busy. The general keeping you hopping? What've
you been up to? Fill me in."
know, same old same old." Jack shrugs deprecatingly. "Daniel's
speaking in tongues, trying to lick a whole new language,
and you know Dannyboy, I can't make him stop when it starts
to come," Jack's got a grin happening that would make the
Cheshire Cat green with envy. "I've been trying out a
little cuppage." Jack momentarily leaves off groping me
in order to have both hands free for graphically illustrating
his point. He uses them to describe a perfect butt in the
air before an innocent face and a bemused audience. Then
without missing a beat he drops his right one down between
us, snakes it quickly around my back and commences molesting
with a new technique, really pushing my boundaries as an
artist," he explains earnestly.
What he's doing with that hand is definitely pushing it.
kinda new to this, still feeling my way, if you will, but
I gotta say, it takes a lot of concentrated attention,
careful smoothing and repeated moistening to keep the material
malleable enough to withstand repeated handling, and just
when I think it's all coming together perfectly, it goes
to pieces on me completely."
relate. I'm suddenly thinking about expanding universes
again. I can't imagine why. All I know is if he doesn't
stop handling THIS material...
putting in all that time and effort, the last thing I want
is premature firing. Or worse, a limp handle," he beams.
"I'm getting better though. The key is preparation, preparation,
preparation. It's all in the balls," he adds solemnly.
damned lucky I don't give it to YOU in the balls. Cuppage,
my ass. Oh God, now he's got me doing it too!
to pull my nuts out of the fire before Sam and Teal'c get
visual confirmation of just how good Jack is with his hands.
as I step on his instep. Hard.
Watch where you're walking, will ya?"
Jack," I flutter my eyes innocently at him, and he gnashes
his teeth. "That was careless of me. But then, you know
me, Doctor Klutz. Accident waiting for a place to happen.
Don't know my left foot from my right or my ass from my
have any complaints about my manual dexterity or flexibility
last night but he's hardly in a position to say so.
Sam shifts her gaze back and forth between us, a slightly
suspicious frown quirking her lips. She's listening between
the lines like crazy and knows there's SOMETHING going
on with the two of us, but evidently decides she's more
tired than curious. "I really appreciate you stopping by
to check on me, but all this bonding is wearing me out.
I think I'd like to get some sleep."
well, Major Carter," Teal'c bows slightly. "It is time
for me to engage in Kel'no'reem. I will return when you
bring those journals you wanted," I tell her as I feel
Jack's hand close on my arm.
box of Twinkies," Jack winks at her. "Mum's the word."
I think he's still got it in for her about the expanding
the matter with you?" I chide him as I pull my arm out
of his clutches, pointedly stopping him from towing me
down the hall in his wake.
he feigns surprise. "You're not into aural sex?"
the last time you touch me below the belt while we're on
base," I scold him fondly. "I thought we talked about
sense you talked and I pretended to listen, we did," Jack
grumbles. "Aw, lighten up! I was just having a little fun.
No one could see anything. I knew it would bug you. Sue
be worth it," I snort. "I've seen what you've got. But
I will come and visit you in Leavenworth. If I haven't
got anything better to do."
Jack mutters, and then pouts for several paces. "So, where
we going tonight, your place or mine?"
I think," I answer after a moment's consideration. "You'll
be more comfortable waiting there. I have some work to
do on base - don't give me that look - the United States
Air Force doesn't keep me on staff here simply to make
it more convenient for you, they do expect me to put out
from time to time. I have to finish working on that tablet
from P2B-382. The general is waiting on my report. He
needs to know if the term 'God Stone' they use in the text
is the local name for Naquadah, and if it's worth sending
out a mineral survey team to investigate."
work, work," Jack sighs theatrically. "Is that all you
ever think about?"
with a ribbon device couldn't drag the truth out of me.
I decide to turn the tables on him.
ask you the same question. Is THAT all YOU think about?"
kidding me, right?" He flashes me a rakish grin. "What
else is there?"
this isn't a rhetorical question. I'm also utterly terrified
he could be right.
- " Jack frowns.
as it takes." I finish. "I'll come over when I'm done."
don't be all night or I'm starting without you."
mental image that statement gives me is remarkably distracting.
Not to mention...stimulating. I'm so - distracted - I
almost don't hear his next question.
got the key for my place?"
the only one I gave it to, you know," he says softly.
didn't know that. I'd just assumed...
throws me off balance by swiftly reaching over and roughly
ruffling my hair. "You didn't say anything about touching
ABOVE the waist!" he crows. " Hurry home, baby," he grins.
call me baby!" I hiss.
'asshole,'" Jack jeers.
getting around to it." I mutter.
going to bring up that up later - about you getting around
to it, that is. I think it's time we upped the ante a
little, just to make things more interesting," Jack smirks
as he starts to saunter down the hall away from me. 'What
do you say, are you in?"
in I'm about thirty seconds away from telling George he
can damned well do his own translating, I've got bigger fish
when was the last time I ate, anyway? Thursday? Does
whipped cream count?
do something a little different tonight and maybe actually
eat something first?" I ask him. "Just a thought."
Jack waves a casual hand at me, "Before, after, during,
whatever, I'm easy."
not news." I have to shake my head as I watch him confidently
saunter out of sight. No, you're not. You're not easy
at all, Jack. But I wouldn't have you any other way.
Back to Part One