Slash:  Jack and Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves sex.
Rating: R.
Category: Established Relationship.  Romance. Angst. Drama
Season/Spoilers: Season 4 Pre-Absolute Power.  No spoilers.
Synopsis: Daniel doesn't smile...much.  But when he does...
Warnings: None
Length:  54 Kb  Completed and posted to net 18 Aug 02.

Notes:  As I was writing this I couldn't help wondering if the memory of an inident (and the subsequent lessons learned) similar to this one could have been been one of the things running through Daniel's mind in Exodus when he told Teal'c he'd like to believe he'd chose a more 'rational' option to cold-blooded revenge.

Aw….crap.  There it is. There's the look. There he goes.  Full watt - hit me with your best shot, I double dog DARE ya to try and make me - glare.  Dammit.  Daniel is SO not going to behave.

Snakes tend to bring out the worst in him.  Especially the King of the Beasts, here.

Come on, Daniel, quit trying to yank Snake-boy's chain.  Apophis thinks he's got the drop on us and we're at his non-existent mercy but he's only got a handful of Jaffa backing him up and Carter and Teal'c are out there. They just need a couple more minutes to get into position.  All we have to do is sit tight and look like we're beat until they make with the firepower and bail us out.  We do not need to play 'bait the bozo' and get ourselves belted!



"You will tell me where the Shol'va is," Apophis informs us smugly, his gloat-o-meter running full bore.  He thinks he's got us dead to rights here - soon to be even deader when he gets through getting his jollies, but I've got news for him.  Things are not always the way they appear. Laugh it up, scuzz ball, but if the shoe was on the other hand Daniel wouldn't be wasting time playing with you, you would already be dead.

Good for us though, Snake-face still thinks he's in the driver's seat so he's got plenty of time to enjoy being his horrible, awful self all over us before he finally gets around to killing us.  Which of course gives Carter and Teal'c time to get us the hell out of this mess we so stupidly stumbled into.

Lordy, lordy, look at Mr Full of himself and just plain plug ugly, if he isn't having just the bestest time ever! If Metal face here was any more puffed up and high on himself his head would be bigger than Abydos and floating off into the stratosphere.  He's looking pretty damned happy to have the pair of us on our knees in front of him.  It's possible he might be holding a grudge.  Nah, I'm sure he's forgotten all about us trying to kill him on the Nox planet.  Blowing up his ships and ruining his invasion plans.  His queen.  The Narcissus kid.  Letting him croak.  Giving him to Sokhar to croak again.  And again and again and again…  We won't even go into the whole Teal'c thing.

I'm sure he's completely over all of that. And he's just stopped by to invite us to tea. Right before he rips our hearts out.  Or something equally unpleasant.

"I don't think so," Daniel drawls, low and dangerous, eyes flashing mockingly, the corners of his mouth starting to quirk.  Oh crap, he's not done yet - he's gonna say something even more -

"Daniel!"  I hiss at him.  A split second too late.

"Kir-VASH."  He finishes with feeling.

None of it good.  And judging by the way Apophis suddenly looks like he's been pole-axed…

"What did you just say to him?"  I toss at Daniel as Snakeboy's face suddenly segues into an alarming shade of puce.

"Roughly translated?"  Daniel shrugs, his eyes dancing with dangerous amusement.  "Fuckface."

Oh crap.  Oh Daniel! You didn't.  

But you did.


Ya know, I just know he'd be copping this attitude even if he didn't know we're only a few noisy seconds away from getting our asses rescued.  When Daniel gets this hopped up on hating the shit out of the Goa'uld of Day he really IS this stupid.  And they say I'M the dumb one.

As soon as we get clear of this we are having words, my boy.  Oh yeah.  Your hobbies are wearing too hard on my shattered nerves.

Apophis lets out a howl would curl the hair on a bald man, hauls back and lets Daniel have it.  Backhands him so hard I'm surprised his eyeballs don't go shooting out of his head and flying across the room. Damn!  That's definitely gonna leave a bruise! One of us has to keep it together so I'm keeping my eyes forward, not watching Daniel's head snap back with the blow, not looking as he reels and struggles to recover, not giving anything away, not letting it show on my face how much I wouldn't mind being a little proactive myself right now, working off some of my own aggression with wiping that smirk off that snake bastard's face, preferably with a flame thrower  -

Daniel gives his head a shake and laughs.  I try not to look at him because I don’t want to see what's living in his eyes right now.  I love this man more than life itself, know him and cherish him as the gentlest, kindest, most compassionate soul I've ever encountered and yet no one knows better than me Daniel is no damned saint.  He's got this cold, dark, ruthless streak inside him runs deeper and creepier than some of my worst nightmares. And I've got some seriously scary shit crawling around in my cranium. When Daniel's dark demon of 'mess with me and die' comes out to play - no quarter, no mercy, no compassion, no forgiveness.  - oh momma, I've seen some pretty tough and ruthless characters in my time, but Daniel Jackson is on the top of my list of people I would never ever want as an enemy.

And how!

Come on, Carter, what's taking so long? You want to get this rescue on the road, already?  I think we've had more than enough fun for one day. I for one am pretty much all 'funned' out.

I can't help it, I'm scared for Daniel and so freaking mad and I know I’m letting it show and I shouldn't, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of point in holding anything back now.  My playing it cool won't change what's going down; I could throw myself at Apophis and try to bite his legs off and he wouldn't even look at me he's so focussed on Daniel and his sudden main goal in life of making my boy suffer some serious pain. Nothing I could do right now would draw Apophis' fire or keep Daniel from being his own worst enemy and getting himself even further into Apophis' bad books.  He's going for all the gusto, if I know my Daniel.  The boy never does anything half-assed.  Gives each and every thing he sets himself to nothing short of his all.

Including getting the snot beat out of himself for no good reason other than the fact he thinks it's funny.

You see me laughing, Daniel?

He's recovered enough from the backhand to be able to hurl a full body snarl right back in Apophis' face.  He completely ignores the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth and laughs again.

I'm getting a very, very bad feeling.  You would too, if you could see his eyes, and the way his lips are twitching again, pulling up - aw crap, crap, crap, not this - Daniel, don't!  Don't do it!

Carter!  Teal'c!  Now!  Now would be good!  Now would be great.  Daniel's lost it; no way I can stop him from getting himself killed.  I don't think he even knows I'm still here right now.

Don't, Daniel, don't, don't, don't, don't do it, don't oh God, there it is!


Daniel doesn't smile; I rib him about it sometimes, what, it would break his face or something to try on a grin from time to time, but this one he's wearing right now is from his very limited repertoires of smiles I never, ever want to see, the scary, nasty, bad one he saves for special occasions like five seconds before he shoots the unfortunate object of his non affection right between the eyes.

We are so dead.

"Is that all you've got?"  Daniel sneers as he spits a mouthful of blood out on Apophis' boots.  Defiant, jubilant death's head grin beaming beatifically across his face.  I've seldom seen him look so sublime when he wasn't screaming my name at the top of his lungs. He's radiant with recklessness.  If we weren't both so close to getting killed I'd almost say he looks so - so - holy buckets, he's so fucking HOT!

Now I'm losing it.  I can't believe I'm getting turned on here but he's so damned sexy when he's dangerous.

CARTER!  Make with the rescue, already!

Apophis looks down at his boots, then up at Daniel.  He does that Goa'uldy flashy high beams thing with his eyes always creeps me out every single damned time I see it and then all of a sudden things start getting severely worrisome.  Oh boy, hand device coming on line.  This is not a good thing.

"Prepare to die, Tau'ri scum."  Apophis loudly declaims as he lifts up the glowy bangle of death and aims it at Daniel's smirking face.

Swear to God, I am not making this up, he really did say this.  He's totally getting his money's worth from his subscription to 'Clichés R Us'.

And I am totally going to kill Carter and Teal'c if they don't get their goddamned rears in gear and GET US OUT OF THIS before Snakebreath starts cooking my beloved's brain cells.

I swear to God when we get home I am absolutely gonna tear Daniel a new one for getting himself into this mess.  Go up one side of him and down the other.  Rip a strip off his hide.  Boot his ass around the block, bust his chops bigtime oh shit, shit, don't do that, don't use that - that thing on him, leave him alone, don't do it - don't hurt him - get that thing OFF him - DON'T HURT HIM I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!

There's a roaring in my ears almost deafens me and it takes a few seconds for it to sink in it's not my screaming that's so loud, that's the sweet sound of C4 bringing the house down and effectively raining on Apophis' parade.


The two Jaffa to my right topple like sacks of soggy shit as Carter's P-90 saws through them.  More explosions to the left - C4 or staff weapon, don't know don't care - I'm reaching for Daniel but I'm already too late to stop him. The second all hell broke loose he was in motion, a snake-seeking projectile of doom leaping up like some springing, snarling force of nature, hurling himself at Apophis.   Snake boy is wide-eyed with shock as he sees him coming and he's frantically groping for his handy dandy force field button, but he doesn't make it.  Daniel has already invaded his personal space before he can get the walls up around it, bowling Goa'uldylocks over with his berserker charge.

Apophis hits the deck, Daniel sitting on his chest and howling like a banshee with his nuts in a vice while he's gripping the Big A's throat full throttle.  The rest of the Jaffa are no longer an issue and if things had stayed that way I'd be more than happy to let Daniel have his fill of fun, but we're always getting reminders we don't live in a perfect universe and unless my eyes deceive me several large, pissed and clanking proofs of same have just come barrelling in to join the party.

Dammit.  Apophis brought spares. A whole, honking herd of them.  Where the freaking hell did they come from?

"O'Neill!"  Teal'c thunders over the din.  "We must leave this place."

Yeah, my large Jaffa brother, I see 'em.  Sorry Daniel, this isn't your day.  The gate's behind us, there are way too many Jaffa in front of us and unless we want them all over us we've got to book.  Carter and Teal'c aren't going to be able to hold the reinforcements back for long.  I know it sucks, but we've got to throw the fish back and hope for a chance to cash in his chips some other day.

"Daniel, back off!" I roar as I grab him by the scruff of the neck and start hauling him off like both our lives depend on it.  He reels back and rounds on me, snarling and swinging.  He's so far gone he doesn't even realise what he's doing and I'm so unprepared for his unreasoning roundhouse he very nearly nails me square on the chin.

I grab him by the arms and shake him.  Hard.  "Daniel, we have to go!"  I yell straight into his face.  His eyes are wild with frustrated desperation and he has to blink several times before he sees me and what's going on around him sinks in.  Out of the corner of my eye I can see Apophis skulking for cover but I don't care, I've got to get Daniel moving.

"Daniel," I tell him again as sternly as I can.  "Carter and Teal'c need us to open the gate for them.  We have to get to the DHD.  Now."

Daniel's eyes are wounded pits of tragedy.  "I had him Jack!"  he says plaintively.  "I - I had him - "

We haven't got time for this right now.  "The gate, Daniel!"  I stay stubbornly on point and make sure he sticks there with me.

I can see it in his eyes the second it kicks in.  His instinct to put everyone else ahead of himself.  Many's the time I've cursed him every which way for it but now I'm betting everything on it and Daniel doesn't let me down.

It's like watching a curtain fall across his face.  The wild light in his eyes snuffs out and he gets cold, focussed, grim of purpose and as distant from his former rage as he was lost to himself when he went nuts.  He's not only got it under control he's shoved it down so deep he's giving me frostbite.  With his jaw set so firmly his back teeth must be shrieking and a tight, determined nod he slips through my fingers and darts toward the DHD.

I haven't got time to worry about what I've just seen, I've got two more kids to get home.  Carter and Teal'c are still firing, falling rapidly back toward me and the gate behind us.  They reach me  as the gate kawooshes and from where we all are now it's just a hop, skip and a jump to the Wormhole Express.

Time to go.



As we pull into the driveway I feel the knot of fear that's been twisting my gut since my latest episode of watching Daniel's life flash before my eyes finally starting to unravel.  Maybe I should let up on the yelling.  I haven't stopped letting Daniel have it since we left the mountain. I know I'm over the top with the riot act, even for me, but I can't help it.  He just scared me so bad and it was too damned close.  If Carter and Teal'c had been a minute - a minute later getting back and getting to us Daniel wouldn't be breathing right now.  I mean, it's one thing to be in a situation when you've done everything you can to avoid a fight and it still works out you've in shit up to your earlobes, but things didn't have to get as extreme as they did back there.  No way the scenario should have gone so far south.

This little game Daniel plays with the snakes - it's gotta stop.

I'm still running my mouth as I'm shutting off the engine but I have no idea, though, if he's even heard a single word I've said.  He's just been sitting there, the whole trip here, staring straight ahead, his face as blank and empty as the pages of a nun's little black book, not moving, not speaking, barely blinking, even.

I can't tell what's going on in his head or what his silence means.  Nor do I have the faintest clue how to get him to start throwing me some.

Daniel is still doing the spooky, silent, locked down tight thing as he jumps out of the truck and starts making for the house.  I'm more than a bit conflicted he's come home with me without a murmur - not that I don't want him here, that's  not it, but he's here without a fight.  Didn't complain or demand I take him to his own place.  Not a word, not a sound, not a glimmer of anything even remotely resembling resistance, annoyance or his customary penchant for flight and avoidance and generally telling me to fuck off and mind my own business.

This is so not like him it can't be good.

"Daniel, you wanna  GRUNT or something?"  I bark at his back as he hustles up the deck steps.

Apparently not.  I get absolutely no cessation of the silent treatment as he proceeds to precede me into the house, silent, stiff-backed and pouty of lip.

I'm surmising about the lip part.  As the fact I'm currently looking at the back of his head means I can't actually see the lip in question its present attitude - in the fullest sense of the word - is in reality anybody's guess, but seeing as how I'm hands down the world's foremost expert on that lip and the man it's attached to - at the worst of times my best guess about mostly everything pertaining to Daniel is a pretty darned educated one.

So yeah, youbetcha he's pouting the joint down.  I don't have to see the sneer to know it's there. Well, you know what, Danny me bucko, me lad, light of my life, cream in my coffee, spit in my pitoon, regular, eternal and right royal constant, continual pain in the ass you're not the only one who can play the sulking game.  Don't mess with me, boy, when it comes to throwing pity parties you're simpering in the shadow of The Master.  You want to talk 'boo hoo poor me' stuff, baby, forget about it - you're not even in my league.  So, don't kid a kidder, Daniel and what's more don't bother lifting that lip at me unless you plan on using it!

"Daniel!"  I snap at him as he starts striding away from me across the living room.  "If you think I'm gonna - "

"Shut up," Daniel growls, his voice grating like sandpaper rasping across an open wound as he snaps his head around and glares at me. Oh my. That 'looks could kill' thing?  From the way his narrowed, furious eyes are burrowing through me I shouldn't even be breathing right now.

As a matter of fact, come to think of it, I'm not.  I'm shocked and pinned to the spot like a stunned, doomed deer frozen in his furious high-beams, not moving, not breathing, definitely not saying another word.

I'm shutting up.  Trust me, if you could - when he looks like  - the way he's smouldering - oh, momma, you would too.

"Just, shut up," he says again, in an even deeper, dangerous drawl, the sensuous threat pouring out of his throat like a velvet glove winding around my dick and jerking me off. He slowly rounds on me, his fiery, hungry eyes ruthlessly stripping me while he deliberately peels his jacket off and lets it slip to the floor.

Holy buckets, I'm am so gonna get it!  I'm happy and scared, mesmerised by his eyes, and as much as I want him the way he's burning I can't help take a step back as he starts to deliberately stalk me.  He's as dangerous as I've ever seen him, blazing not with hate but dark, bottomless need.  Uncontrollable.  Undeniable.  He's coming for me and I step back again to find my back to the wall with nowhere else to run.

Omigawd, a tsunami of frenzied desire slams through me, bottoming out at crotch level with a vehemence leaving me weak and gasping and damned grateful for the wall at my back holding me up.  The 'oh gotta have him' fever turning my knees to jell-o is only going to get worse 'cause what I'm seeing in his face as he closes on me with agonising, calculated deliberation…

Oh, oh, oh, oh god, there it is, corner of his mouth quirking, one side then the other, oh Daniel, do it, do it, do it, do it, oh baby, hit me - oh yeah, there it is!


Sexier than sin, luscious, lewd and knowing I can't escape him, beguiling mouth bowed and beckoning with dangerous promise, there it is, beaming from his lips right into my soul, the confident, predatory, possessive leer of the only person in this universe who can make me sweat, quake and scream with a single, searing look.

The smug bastard can make me bark like a frigging dog too, when he smiles at me like this and doesn't he just know it too.  Roll over for me, Jack?  Yeah, baby, anything you say, when you're wearing that, 'fuck you Jack and I'm so gonna' grin, you got it!

By the time he gets to me and cups the back of my head with tightly clutching fingers I'm ready to chew on whatever bone he's willing to throw me. Begging for it, truth be told. When he jams the one I'm most interested in so roughly into my crotch my ass bounces off the back wall the resulting spike of my excitement level almost makes me blow the whole deal before we're barely out of the starting gate.

Daniel's face flushes with triumph as he sees how helpless he's made me and he smiles tightly, knowingly once more grinding against me until I'm whimpering and shaking and basically begging for it.


Oh Danny, you got it, you got me, you're the boss here.  Do me before you kill me.

"You talk too much," Daniel tenderly murmurs before he closes the final gap between us with a blistering kiss.


I think he's finally fallen asleep.  Thank God.

Sleeping.  That's what I should be doing too, especially after the workout I just got.  I think we set a new in-house record for fucking our way through every room IN the house.  Daniel had one hell of a demon inside him and I hope he's got it out of his system but I wouldn't make book on it.  One thing I do know for sure, however, I can't afford to forget what went on back there today.

The next snake he baits could be that one snake too many and I'm not going to lose him because he can't just walk away.

We have to talk, Daniel, but I don't know how to make you listen.  You're so damned determined to have your way when it's the worst, possible thing for you and I think that's what scares me the most about you.  A part of me understands where you're coming from about this whole Goa'uld…thing and yet -

How can I make you let this go? How can I keep you safe when a part of you wants to grapple with the devil to the death even as he drags you all the way down into the flames with him?

Tell me how to save you, Daniel, 'cause I'm lost if I lose you.

He sighs suddenly, despairingly into my chest, startling me with the unexpected vehemence of the sound.  I thought he was asleep.  Wrong again.  I hoped he was at peace.  From the way he's suddenly burrowing his face into me and holding on for dear life he's far from that as well.

When the shaking starts I know he's finally ready to let it ALL hang out.

"I hate them, Jack," he fiercely mutters against my skin.  "I hate them all.  We have to wipe them out - all of them - wipe them out of existence!"

I kiss the top of his head and stroke his hair soothingly until the tremors settle down and he loosens his grip a bit.

"Yeah," I say finally, after his breathing deeps and slows and he's calmed down enough to hear what I'm saying.  "I know, Danny, I hear you.  Yeah, the Goa'uld are evil and should be exterminated with extreme prejudice right down to the last stinking grub and some day, maybe that will happen - "

"But?"  Daniel adds softly before I can go any further.

"But if you want to live to see that day, love, you're gonna have to let it go. The hate, Daniel.  Don't lose yourself to it.  Don't let them win.  You're better than that.  Better than them."

Daniel lifts his head, looks at me and in the ghosting, silvery darkness of our bedroom I see dark uncertainty shimmering on his face.

"Could you do it?"  he gravely asks me.  

I know what he means.  I also know he's demanding the truth from me.  He deserves nothing less from me and he'll get nothing but from me.

"I would do anything for you."

"Me?"  he says softly, a small tremor of disbelief in his voice.  It cuts me, every time I hear it, that a part of him should still feel, after everything we've come to be together, he's not worthy of being loved.

"Yeah, you," I answer as I reach up and fondly brush my knuckles across his cheek.  "Only you.  You're all I care about, Danny.  I don't give a rat's ass about the Goa'uld, they're not my concern.  They'll get what's coming to them by and by but what matters the most to me is making sure they don't get you before they get theirs.

He dips his head slightly, breaking eye contact.  I don't tell him I love him a lot, not directly.  Not because I can't or don't want to but because he still has trouble with it.  Hearing the words, I mean.  That's why I show him so damned much instead.  He handles it better that way.   He can't look at me right now while I'm telling him this, but I know he's still listening because the hand resting lightly on my chest is starting to move slowly, gently stroking in careful, tender circles.

"You're worth too damned much to spend yourself so cheaply," I continue, softly entreating him to believe what I'm telling him.  "Don't throw yourself away on them, Daniel.  Don't let them poison your soul. Besides, I'm a damned selfish bastard.  I want you warming the other side of this bed until I'm old, grey and senile and beyond, and I'll be damned if some stinking snake is gonna mess up my plans for my declining years."

"Well, you've certainly got the grey and senile part down pat already," Daniel impudently informs my chest, failing utterly to disguise the teasing tone of his voice.  Even though his head is still bowed I can see him struggling to keep the smirk off his face.

"Ha, ha," I sneer back at him as I place a finger under his chin and use it to lever his head up until we're seeing eye to eye once more.  "I love you," I tell him full out, and no fooling.  He might get all red faced and flustered when I say it but I've never meant it more than I do right now and he's damned well gonna KNOW it, I don't care how uncomfortable it makes him feel.

"Promise me you'll try."

Daniel's forehead furrows so deeply you could lose whole countries in the creases.  Now normally, trust me, this would not be a good sign but I'm encouraged by the fact that even though he's blinking up a sudden storm he hasn't actually tried to look away.  He doesn't say a word for a long time and then I see it starting to happen, the proof patience is its own reward, the gentle trembling of his lip as he struggles with the emotion I see building in his eyes and then -

Oh yeah, there is it, that's the one I want.

The smile. The one that breaks across his face like a song, makes him glow with the honest, happy ingenuous abandon of a five-year-old with a brand new puppy.  Daniel doesn't smile, not much, but when he does - that one right there - this is the smile I live for.  The one that tells me he loves me and I'm the one and only thing makes him happy enough to look like this.

Daniel doesn't smile, but when he does, he rocks my world.  Not to mention makes the whole damn thing go 'round.  And right now, that smile tells me even before he says the words, he's gonna be okay.

We're gonna be okay.

"I'll try," he earnestly assures me.  And then smiles again.

I know you will, Daniel, I know you will. You didn't even have to say, it's written all over your face.



PhoenixE, 2002-9.
Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate Productions, Sci Fi Channel, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. These stories are for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. These stories may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Copyright on images remains with the above named rightsholders.
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