COVENANT BY PHOENIX
Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves
Relationship. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Drama
Set after 'The Light'. No Spoilers.
||Peril, salvation, uncertainty,
conflict, life, love and a pact.
||Some Language, naughty bits.
Intense in some places
|| 176 Kb
Completed and posted to the net 24 Oct 01.
So much for the last two months of my life! Thanks to Biblio for beta reading
and Mathew Reilly for writing. I swear I did not make him up, he is an actual,
real writer and the Temple is an actual book, or so Biblio assures me. I
wish to thank Mr Reilly for the brief exerpts from his book and my apologies
for Daniel's reaction. Unlike him, or Biblio I have not read it, but I'm
sure it's a very fine book, even though Daniel obviously has a few issues
with it. Jack however, thinks it's great.
JACK! Come on, Jack, you have
to stay awake. You have to stay with me!"
What? Why is Danny bawling in my ear like that?
It's - it's not time to get up yet…
Please, Jack, wake up! Don't do this to me!"
up? Omigawd, what the hell - not home - I'm in this STUFF!
I have to wake up - can't - can't fall asleep. Can't….
out of it, Jack, you can't give in to this. It's hard,
damn, it's hard, I feel so…I just want to let go, go to
sleep, but I can't. Can't jam out on Danny, can't leave
him in the lurch. He's giving his all, trying to hold
it together, to not let me go under, not let me know how
scared… Danny's scared, he's scared, sounds like he's
almost out of his mind, have to…have to…
Okay, quit yelling. Up - I'm…I'm up."
Daniel sobs against my neck as he tightens his shaking,
straining arms around me. He's holding me hard and fast,
his hands clamped together under my chin like they've been
super-glued, his arms a band of steel encircling me just
under my armpits, but as tight as he's squeezing and hauling
back on me I can barely feel it. Somehow he's managing
to keep my head and shoulders and him out of this
stuff - just barely - but all the rest of me is being
slowly squished by this godforsaken crap trying just as
hard to suck me under as he is to not let it. It's getting
harder and harder to talk. To - to breathe.
like I'm really in it this time. Up to here and then some.
If it wasn't for Daniel hanging on long past the time any
sane person would have given up and let go of me I'd be
dead already. I'm not saying I'm not grateful to be still
breathing - sort of - but it's not looking good, here.
I don't know how he's managed to hold on to me as long
as he has, but all he's doing is postponing the inevitable.
No way he can pull me free - though it's sure not been
for lack of trying - and no way he's going to be able to
keep this up much longer. No getting away from it. I'm
not walking away from this one.
you don't, Colonel!" Daniel hisses into my ear as
he wriggles closer and tries to angle a little more leverage
against the relentless downward suction. He's lying flat
on his stomach on the ground behind me, as close to the
edge as he can be to keep my head clear of this alien goo
without actually being in it with me. I can't do a damned
thing to help him. My arms are as mired as the rest of
me. I can't move them, can barely even feel them now.
Along with all the rest of me I can barely feel, and with
this creepy lethargy making it harder and harder to stay
awake - I'm pretty sure I crapped my drawers ten minutes
ago but with the way things are right now it's hard to
you go throwing in the towel on me!" he scolds me angrily
in a voice ragged with exhaustion and desperation.
"You hang on, Jack, you hear me! Sam and Teal'c will be
back any second now and we're getting you out of this!"
- better be soon," I wheeze, barely able to force the
words out against the relentless force compressing me.
"Whatever this stuff is, it's - it's nasty."
oh yeah," he gasps, his near hysterical laughter exploding
against my neck. "You can say that again."
okay," Daniel laughs again, sounding more like he really
means it and less like he's about to go off the deep end.
"Never mind, don't try. Don't try to talk. Just -
it's okay. It's - it's…okay. Just stay still. I've got
you. I'm not letting go."
what I'm afraid of.
down; that's pretty much a given. It's only because of
Daniel hanging onto me with everything he's got I'm not
sucking sludge already, but if he relaxes the traction
he's maintaining against the downward pull for even a second
I'll slide on down the rest of the way under as quickly
as I got pulled into this mess in the first place. He's
bought me some time, but it's only a reprieve, not a stay
of execution, and even he can't maintain this killer status
quo forever. His will is more than up to the task, but
the rest of him - he's only human. I'm definitely going
down. It won't be long now.
so close to me, latched on to me so tight, trying so damned
hard. I can't see what's going on directly behind me but
I can feel how desperately he's been struggling and what
it's costing him to keep on doing it, and right now it
feels like he's going to shake apart. He's been busting
a gut in this heat boiling both our brains out ever since
this deadly tug of war started and it's killing him. His
body is quaking, heaving, rasping and gasping with each
breath he forces out. His face is jammed into the hollow
of my shoulder, tufts of his drenched, spiking hair tickling
the side of my face and marking it with his sweat. My back
and shoulder are wringing wet. Although the sludge itself
is disgustingly cool I don't even want to think about how
hot the ground must be he's lying on. He's just about prostrate
with the heat and exhaustion, but he's not slacking off
one iota. He doesn't dare. We both know what will happen
if he does.
can't believe how long he's kept this up, but he's just about
spent. I know it, and so does he, but he's not giving
in to it, not letting himself accept the possibility everything
he has isn't going to be enough. Again. I'm going, all
right; I can face that, even if he isn't ready to yet.
But I'll be damned if I'm taking him along for the ride.
I have to - have to make him me let go.
taking you with me, Daniel. I'm not. I love you too
this…sucks," I force out. "I guess we
shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque."
hysterical giggle is smothered in the fabric of my jacket.
"Don't make me laugh!" he snorts.
I don't know any card tricks and trust me, you don't want
to hear me sing."
NOT losing you!" he spits savagely into my shoulder.
for humour. Oh shit, oh shit. My eyes are going funny.
I have to get this elephant off my chest but it isn't easy.
Deep breath, oh yeah, that's a hot one…breathe…try
you can't - "
UP!" he bellows into my ear, his fear and frustration
shocking him into seriously upping the ante. He
shouldn't be able to do this, not being as played out as he is
already, but evidently my Daniel has reserves of stubbornness
he hasn't tapped into yet. I don't know where he's
getting the strength but he is - the ornery little SOB is
doing it - he's actually pulling even harder on me now.
his pissy, contentious, contrary, irritating ' don't you
damned well tell me I can't I'll show you,' soul.
shut up!" he rages, throwing his head back and gritting
his teeth as he grunts and strains madly against the downward
pull. If I crane my neck I can catch him out of the
corner of my eye and what I'm seeing is making me scared
for him. His glasses are long gone; they must have gone
flying when he threw himself at me. His eyes are tightly
closed; his face is turning purple and streaming. Literally.
Sweat is shooting out of him, huge drops racing down his
forehead, dripping off his nose and chin splashing wetly
into my hair and smacking against my ear. It's running
into his eyes; he shakes his head savagely, impatiently
to clear it away.
even say it!" He snarls at me again as he shakes
his head, slower this time, like doing so will somehow make
everything different. "Don't you DARE say it!"
as this brief bout of desperate strength leaves him and
lets his head flop back down to my shoulder again. I can
feel him panting brokenly as he tries to force his exhausted
body to continue doing the impossible. The sound of his
laboured breathing is rapidly notching up into the 'lungs
about to burst' zone.
possibly keep this up. He has to break soon. If he
doesn't give himself a stroke first. Fuck, Danny, give
it up. You haven't got a prayer. I'm not worth it.
Not worth you dying for too.
NOT giving up on you!" he grunts fiercely as he bangs his
head roughly into me. "And you're NOT leaving me!
Not today! Not ever! They're coming. They are.
You'll see. I just need to hold on - hold on just a
be different if it was true - if I did have a prayer.
If Carter and Teal'c really were on their way back.
But we both know they're not. They're probably not even
to the other site yet, and they weren't due to check in
until they got there. It's hard to gauge exactly how long
I've been in this sludge but I figure Daniel and I weren't
on the road here more than ten minutes before I - Teal'c
figured it would take them about two hours to get to the
other site and it must be close to that now, but even if
they checked in this minute - not that either Daniel or
I can get to our comms to clue them in there's a problem
- supposing they turned around and double-timed it right
back, within the next minute even…
I can do the math. And I don't even need to carry the
not going anywhere without me," Daniel mutters, still
panting like a dog, straining and dripping all over me.
I don't know what I like less about what I just heard -
what was said or the way he said it.
for a day that started out so fine this one sure went south
awfully damned fast. You think I'd be used to this sort
of thing by now; one minute you're on top of the world,
and the next you're well, being eaten by it, but it all
seems so fucking tragic, and not simply because of the
honking cosmic irony of the Great Jack O'Neill, intergalactic
space bum and Goa'uld killer extraordinaire, saviour of
the Earth and Tau'ri mascot of Team Asgard ending his days
as a cork in some alien peat bog. I could live with that.
That's not what's really pissing me off.
while what's going down - namely me - is definitely a damned
shame and all and sure as shit is going to ruin my day
what makes this situation really, really suck is
with Daniel finally in my arms and my bed is not nearly
enough time. And I wouldn't have minded knowing for absolutely
sure, before I kicked off, how he really felt about me.
I mean - if he feels about me the same way I feel about
crossed the line, become lovers, and yet even though he's
let me in farther than he's let anyone for a long time
there's still that part he won't let me touch. He's given
me his body and his company freely, without hesitation
or reservation but he won't - he's still holding out on
me. Holding himself back - what he feels inside. I don't
blame him, he has his reasons and they're damned good ones,
but still, I can't help but wish, just once, he'd let me
know for sure.
ready to check out - not yet - but like usual I don't get
to vote on it. Still, if this is finally IT, if it is
my time and it sure as shit is looking that way, all I
can say is thank God for a loose bootlace. If Daniel hadn't
had to stop and retie his bootlace he'd have been right
at my side when I strolled into this shit and we'd both
be already dead. I'm glad he wasn't. Damned glad he was
far enough behind me so when I set off whatever it was
suddenly turning what looked like solid ground beneath
my feet into this colonel-eating crap I was the only one
it got. Got it but good.
stuff is unbelievable. Sand to scum sucking sludge in
a nanosecond. I went down so fast I barely had time to
scream 'Crap' and Daniel only just managed to fling himself
at me and get me in this chest-hold before I was pulled
completely under. I doubt Daniel is doing much analyzing
of the current situation - he's kinda busy at the moment
- but I've had time to mull a few things over. I'm thinking
this is some kind of weird-ass alien booby trap. Who put
it here and why - anyone's guess. All I know for sure is
it's definitely a trap and I'm the booby.
at least I'm consistent.
Jack?" Daniel's exhausted whisper dribbles out between
gasps. "I just need - need to rest - rest for a
bit. Yeah, that's it. Rest. Don't worry,
we're doing okay. I can do this. Don't - don't move,
okay, Jack? It's not so bad, as long as you don't move."
I noticed that. This stuff definitely reacts to movement.
The more you struggle the worse it gets; not just the whole
'downward motion' thing, but whatever else is in this soup
slowly paralyzing me and sucking the life right out of
me. Not fighting it has slowed down the effect, but not
stopped it. Whatever it was whoever set this trap was hoping
to catch, they wanted to make damned sure it couldn't get
that 'not moving' part. No problem. Bit of a moot
point, actually. Right now I'm finding quirking an
eyebrow a challenge.
hide from Danny how hard it's getting to breathe and stay
awake - he's already stopped me from drifting off a couple
of times, but he doesn't know about the rest of it. All
his efforts to keep my head above this stuff pretty soon
aren't going to count for squat. As long as I'm still
in the soup I'm toast.
are so many things I should be telling him, and I would,
if I had the time, but I haven't and I have to know - I
have to make sure he doesn't die here in this stinking
cess pit with me.
head is lolling heavily against mine, his rapid, hot, sobbing
breath exploding over me in panicked, anguished gusts.
"Jack," he croaks, the despair in his voice
shredding my soul. "Jack, I'm - I'm sorry. I tried
but I can't - I can't - I - "
Danny. I know. It's not your fault, love. I
can't believe how hard you've tried to save me, but you've
done everything you can. No one could have done more.
Even Teal'c couldn't have pulled me free of this stuff.
Don't blame yourself, don't - it's time to say good-bye,
barely get the words out. But I have to, and it has to
be now. I'm not going to get another chance. Time - we're
out of time. In another couple of minutes it won't matter
if he's still holding on to me or not, I'll be gone. This
stuff is going to get me either way.
he sobs, turning his head toward me, covering the side
of my face and neck with frantic, panicked kisses. I feel
a new, hot wetness splashing over me, soaking my hair,
scalding my skin. "No I won't! I'm not letting you go!
to hell, I feel like shit. I can't believe I'm doing this
to him when I made myself swear…before going in,
I mean, before… This just isn't fair. He doesn't deserve
to have to go through this kind of pain and loss again.
I…oh God, this isn't happening," he cries.
"Not this - not again. Couldn't save them, couldn't
- couldn't save her. I'm not going to let this take you
away from me. I - I can't…not again…"
to, Danny. There's nothing else you can do. I'm sorry.
Please, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault.
Don't remember me as another one who hurt you more in leaving
you than we were worth the chance you took loving us.
things really seriously, you know, kinda gets in a little
deeper than is good for him. Never gives himself a thought
and never, ever puts himself first. We've talked about
it, how he should maybe try to develop a little detachment,
work on that 'looking out for number one' thing, but he
just shrugs and says stuff like 'only way I know how to
me crazy. What can you say to that? Thank God?
Yeah. That works.
this about him, that's why - that's why when I realised
he was 'interested', well, at first I was over the moon,
really happy because I was, too - 'interested' in him -
have been almost from the first moment I laid eyes on him,
although it took me a while to figure it out. Yeah, I
was pretty happy, but then I started thinking, which usually
with me only leads to trouble, but for Daniel I was willing
to risk it.
I said, I got to thinking, which took me to some pretty
sobering places, and when I was all done thinking and realised
what my 'interest' could mean for, and do to Daniel, I
sat me down and had a serious chat with me, myself and
got few illusions about who and what I am. I'm no prize,
for starters. I'm painfully aware of my lousy track record
in the 'I'll be there for you no matter what' department.
I sure wouldn't be my first choice for the Mr Sensitive
of this or any other year award and I have no idea what
someone like Danny sees in someone like me but for once,
I'm not arguing with him.
is Danny we're talking about. Someone like him
you just can't - you don't - you don't mess around with
his heart, you don't… not if you don't really mean it.
I've watched him go through so much shit, seen him hurt
so bad, crap, done more than my share of it to him myself,
so I made me promise myself I wouldn't so much as touch
him if I couldn't swear to both him and me I'd never,
ever hurt him. I mean, like not in a big 'too huge to
put him back together after' kind of way. It's pretty
much a given I'm going to be a schmuck to him from time
to time. That whole asshole thing I've got going for me's
pretty much bred into the bone.
- would have - would have been an occasional schmuck. If
I'd gotten the chance.
not losing you, I'm NOT!" he cries again as he gasps and
struggles to stop his sweat-slicked grip from slipping.
"Jack! Don't leave me!"
I think dying right under his nose with him powerless to
prevent it qualifies as big-time hurting him. My worst
nightmare, and his, all wrapped up in one big sucking package.
So much for good intentions.
really is the worst thing I could do to him. If I had
to pick a way to check out on him guaranteed to hurt him
the most - this is it. Everyone he's ever loved has been
taken from him and there was nothing - nothing he
could do to prevent it. What's even worse - he had to
watch knowing he was absolutely powerless to save them.
Way to go, O'Neill, now you've managed to do it to him
shudder rips through him and his grip slips again, just
a little bit, but just enough. I feel myself settle
Oh GOD!" he shrieks as something
in him snaps.
frantic, cursing, futilely scrabbling around on the ground
behind me, as he sobs and rants and tugs desperately at
me. I can only make one word out of ten out of the crazed
babble gushing from him. It's like he's gone insane now
he knows there's no hope and he's got everything to lose
and no reason to hide and it's all flooding out, everything
he's been holding back, never letting me see or truly know.
It's out there, laid bare, every secret he's kept tucked
safely inside, as naked, stark and bleeding as his soul
is right now. It stuns me, what I'm hearing, just how much,
how deep - oh God, it's true I'd hoped but I never - never
really knew. It's almost too much. It makes my heart sink
deeper than the blackest bottom of this stinking crap to
know - now. I know, I know, but I can't have it. Not now.
He's giving me what I've most wanted and now I'd give anything
if it wasn't so.
know how much he loves me I wish to God he didn't.
dammit, DAMMIT!" he rages. "This
is not happening again! It's not! I'm not going to
let it! I'm NOT going to lose you!"
he means it. He's going to save me or die trying.
please - not this…
won't live without you," he whispers as his struggles die
down and he slumps back against me again, almost completely
done in by this final, futile effort. "Won't - I
hyperventilating and shaking so bad I'm wondering how he's
still conscious. I can't talk, can barely move but I try
to register my protest, try to give him a head butt, move
something to make him listen.
He can't do this. I won't let him.
got nothing to say about it," he pants as he nuzzles his
cheek against the shoulder I barely managed to shrug.
"My choice. You're not leaving me behind. Wherever
you go, I go. That's the way I want it. End of
not the way I want it, but there's nothing I can do about
it. It's almost completely dark now. I can feel myself
slipping again and this time Daniel just sighs and turns
his head, kisses my cheek, so tenderly. It feels good,
I admit it, bravado aside, it was worrying me a little,
dying and all. It's one thing to get taken out by a bolt
from the blue, to never see it coming, but when you have
time - time to think about it, when you know it's coming
and all you can do is wait…measure what's left in seconds…
okay," he croons as he lays his head back down on my
shoulder and hugs me fiercely close. "I'm here. You
don't have face this alone. I promise. I'm not going to
leave you. You and me, Jack. Together. All
that's not so bad after all. I shouldn't be, I know, but
suddenly I'm glad. I didn't want to leave him alone and
now I won't. He won't be hurting, grieving.
Missing me. Maybe he's right. This is better.
myself I'd never let him down - never hurt him the way
he's been hurt before. Not going to happen now.
It'll be - how did he put it - him and me together? All
Danny, whatever you say.
- slipping again. Going down. The stuff is almost up to
my shoulders now. Danny's arms are still around me that
means - that means they're covered. He's caught now too.
I guess this is it for both of us.
you," he whispers as he starts to shift about to join me.
Colonel! Hold onto him Daniel, we're coming!"
Teal'c? No fucking way! This is just like the
movies! Nice they came charging over the hill and all,
Sam!" Daniel croaks, from far, far away.
so wiped, so scared. Get your asses over here! Help him,
for Christsake! He's just about had it!
God! You have to help me. Can't - I can't pull him
I'm not liking this. I can't see a thing, hearing starting
to fuzz now too. Ow! Felt that! Only one
person I know has a grip like that. Teal'c, old buddy,
good to see you. Well, metaphorically speaking anyway.
Jack, Sam and Teal'c are here. Wake up! Oh God,
he's not breathing. Teal'c we HAVE to get him out!
not worry, DanielJackson, I have encountered this before.
I know how to proceed. Major Carter, when I give the word
discharge a single zat blast into the furthermost section
of the field. That will temporarily counteract the force
restraining the colonel and DanielJackson and I will be
able to extract him.
sounds good. Hey guys, wanna snap it up a bit?
Colonel rapidly fading to black, here.
Ow! Felt that too! Crap, what do you know, the
stuff is letting go! They're doing it. Hey Danny, we're MOVING!
Jack! It's okay, we got you out! You're going to
be fine. He's still not breathing. We have to - oh God, Jack
- come on, Jack, BREATHE!
Danny, I know I promised I wouldn't but it looks like I'm
going without you after all…
beg to differ, Daniel, you've had a terrible shock, been
exposed to an unknown alien substance and are suffering
from exhaustion and heat prostration. Don’t argue with
your doctor now, you need to rest and -
Yeah, that's the Doc's voice, all right. I can hear
Danny and the Doc. Can't see them, but I can hear them.
I guess that means I'm not dead. Not dead. That's good.
Not dead is definitely good.
told you I'm FINE. I don't need to lie down. I'm not
planning to do back-flips in the gateroom, all I'm going
to be doing is sitting. Quietly. Right here.
it up, Doc, you haven't got a prayer. I know that tone
Jackson, Doctor Fraiser is merely concerned -
all due respect, General, the world isn't going to grind
to a screeching halt if I don't lie down for five minutes.
I can rest just fine sitting here.
George is here too! There's one face I thought I'd never
see again. Speaking of seeing, can't help noticing I
can't. See anything. Why can't I see anything?
Oh yeah, I've got my eyes closed.
- please. I really can't… I need to be here when
he wakes up.
awake NOW! Dammit! What's going on here? I
can't move a muscle - can't even open my frigging eyes!
he could wake up in the next five minutes. Or….
Whaddya mean or? No 'OR' - I'm in here,
I'm up - get me MOVING! Do SOMETHING!
never. I know. You said that.
he spent over an hour immersed in an alien substance.
Although you don't seem to have suffered any harmful effects
from your brief exposure the colonel was in contact with
it significantly longer. I don't know what that means
- what it did to him. What it might still be doing to him.
I don't know why he's in a coma or - if indeed it IS a
coma… It's a good sign he started breathing on his own
again, but whether that means - Daniel, I just don't know
what to tell you. I've run every test I know and there's
no reason I can discover for his current condition.
is mighty HONKED OFF! Uhhhhhhhh! CRAP!
I can't even wiggle my toes! Goddamnedfuckingcrappystinkingstupidalien
You've dealt with this stuff before. Perhaps you can shed
Carter? Nice to hear you, you'll forgive me if I don't
I cannot. As part of my training Master Bra'tac alerted
me to the existence of the phenomena and instructed me
as to how to proceed if I or one of my men became trapped.
I have personally encountered it on three separate occasions
on three different worlds while I was in the service of
Apophis. In two of the incidents I was able to render
assistance immediately, the Jaffa experienced minimal contact
with the substance and exhibited no ill effects as a result.
On the third occasion we were unsuccessful. One of my
Jaffa became completely engulfed before we were able to
attempt a rescue. We were unable to locate him once he
disappeared beneath the surface and therefore were not
able to extract him.
to grab onto to pull him out?
I am not aware of any survivor who was exposed to the
substance for the length of time Colonel O'Neill has been.
Therefore I have no knowledge of the reason for his present
state, its cause or what if anything can be done to assist
him. I do know, however, he is most fortunate to be
alive at all. I am confident had it not been for
DanielJackson's persistence he would not be.
not the only one 'confident' of that fact. Owe you a big
one, Danny. Love to be able to give it to you in person
but I have this slight problem. Nothing seems to
be working? Possibly you've noticed?
you've got no idea what's happening to him and what we
can do to snap him out of it.
if, in fact, there is anything that can be done for him
Carter. Comforting to know just in case we hadn't
thought of the worst possible option you're be there for us
to bring it up!
anyway, Teal'c. Believe me, that you knew what to do to
get him out was a big help. Really big. So, you're
saying as far as you know no one has ever been through what
Jack has. So what? Just because you don't know why
this is happening or what to do about it that's no reason
to automatically assume Jack won't come out of it on his
own. Or because you've never known it to happen, it doesn't
mean it can't.
'em, Dannyboy! I don't know what's going on either, but
I gotta tell you I have no intention of spending the rest
of my life as a throw rug. Alien goo or no alien goo.
I'm just gonna rest up a bit here…catch my breath…then
I'm getting up and walking…………..
Daniel, it's been three days with no change.
you, Sam, I know what day it is. I also know in all that
time Jack hasn't so much as twitched.
I've been out of it for three DAYS?
I know you're upset. We ALL are. We're all worried sick
about the colonel -
- three…DAYS? DAYS?
but not getting any rest yourself - wearing yourself out
for no reason -
Three fucking days! Jesus, Jesus, I still can't - I
not for no reason! Jack might not be able to move, but
he's conscious. He's still with us and he's still Jack!
I'm not going to leave him alone like this.
- shit, oh God! What if she's right? What if I never -
no - no - oh no. No, no, not going to happen. Not…
don't KNOW that Daniel. You've got no proof -
move. Can't - I can't move. Oh God…
don't need PROOF! As long as he's breathing the possibility
exists, and if there's even the slightest chance…Jack?
- what is it - what's wrong?
don't know - all of a sudden, his pulse, it's racing. Sam
- I think he can hear us, I think he knows what we're saying.
He knows, Sam, he IS in there, conscious, aware of everything
we're saying he just can't - can't give us a sign.
okay, I'll get Janet. I'll be right back.
It's okay, Jack, I'm right here. You're scared. I
understand, but don't worry, I'm here. I know, this looks
pretty bad, but you're not alone. I'm with you. All the
way. I've got you right by the hand and I'm not letting
go. Here. Can you feel it? Not letting go. I
Don't let go. Don't leave me like this.
all right, Jack, I'm right here. I've got you.
It's so dark - can't see - what the hell! What's going
on? Danny's here, but those sounds - smells like -
Now I remember.
have nodded off again. How long? Danny? Yeah,
that's Danny. I'd know that scent anywhere and no
one else feels so good, so close…
me. Danny's holding me tight. Trying to hug - hug him
back, hoping I was dreaming all this….can't…
not a dream. This really is happening. I can feel your
arms around me but nothing's changed. I still can't move.
be scared, Jack. It's going to be all right. You're
going to come out of this. No one else believes me, but
I know you're in there and I know you can hear me. Janet
says the incident yesterday was 'inconclusive' No further
'occurrences' to support the premise there was any conscious
reaction to stimuli. What I observed was probably an
unconscious autonomic response. Geez, you know, when we
all get on our scientific high-horses I wonder if we even
listen to ourselves half the time. I know that was you,
Jack, not some 'unconscious response'. I know you can hear
me. I know how you have to be feeling about all of this,
but I don't want you to worry. You're going to come out
of this, Jack. You are.
my boy, always keeping the faith. Never give up, never
say die. That's my Danny. Do you know how much I love you
for that, buddy? Sounds real good and I know you want
to believe it. Hey, me too, but what if I don't, Danny?
just rest, Jack, get well. I'm going to be right here.
I'll look after you. We'll get through this, we will.
ya. But who are you trying to convince? You or me? I
caught what you said, by the way. Another day has gone
by. Another day, and I'm still…still can't…
Don't go there. Just - don't. It looks bad, but
Danny's not giving up. He's sure I'll pull through and you
know Daniel. He's always right. Daniel is always
right. Don't let go of that. Always right,
God, I winked out again! What's up with that? One
minute I'm wide-awake and then I go off and then on again
like a light switch. Click, click. Hello, Jack's gone
and then he's back. I feel like a frigging yo-yo.
have I been out this time? How many days? Hope
it's only been days. Not - not weeks, or…..
so fucking dark. I HATE this. Not being able
to move is bad enough, but I can't see squat. The
insides of my eyelids are not interesting. What's
going on? Quiet. It's so quiet. Can't hear
anything but those stupid, stinking machines.. Wait a
minute. Someone's holding my hand. Has to be Daniel.
Daniel's here, he's still here but he's not moving, not -
the phone, what's that? Snoring? Oh yeah, that's one sound
I'd know anywhere. If Daniel's sawing logs like that,
he's out cold. Passed out in the chair, probably. I wish
I could see him. Touch…
What's he doing here? Why isn't he in bed, resting? I'll
bet he hasn't budged since they laid me out here. Crap,
he shouldn't do this to himself. What's the point? He's
going to kill himself hanging on to - to what? Jack the
Lump? I might as well be a speed bump for all the good
I'll be to him. I might as well - might as well be dead.
We'd both be better off.
what you said, Daniel, promising to stick with me and all,
and I appreciate the thought, but I don't know if I can
do this. I wasn't as freaked by the thought of smothering
in that sludge as I am of going on - for God knows how
long - years, maybe decades, maybe forever - like this.
Not kidding now, this sucks. This is top of the list of
all time things that really suck. We're talking completely
unacceptable, here. Wouldn't wish this on - on -
well, it shouldn't happen to anyone and it sure as SHIT
shouldn't be happening to me! This is like being buried
alive. Worse. Worse.
I'm still breathing but so what? What kind of life is
this? I can't see you, can't touch you - fuck, can't even
scratch my ass. Or scream. Or fuck. FUCK!
That's Danny's voice. What? Danny? Oh crap, it
happened again! What's he saying?
although it works a lot better if you rub it hard rather
than stroke it.
that's enough of that.
No? It was just starting to sound interesting! Daniel,
you want to run it back and hit play again? I was out
of the room for a bit.
know, I know, I talk too much. I was thinking you were
probably getting sick of the sound of my voice so I sent
Teal'c in search of something you'd find more interesting.
Somehow I don't think you'd be too enthralled by excerpts
from 'World Archaeology' or 'Antiquity'.
right. Though you're wrong about me being sick of
listening to you talk. I'll bet you never thought you'd
hear me say THAT! The sound of your voice - it's the only
thing keeping me sane right now, Daniel. Not that anyone
would notice if I went round the bend - but knowing you're
here - it's helping. It is. Wish I could tell you that.
Wish I could do a whole lot of other things as well, but
right now, what I want more than anything is to be able
to let you know - somehow - what you're doing - I'm sorry
for what I said before about you wasting your time, I didn't
mean it. I'm not really myself right now. Thanks. Just
we go. Okay, technically it'll still be the sound of my
voice, but hopefully you'll find the content a little more
interesting than me burbling on not saying anything
particularly - well, you know how I get. I'll try not to
bore you too much.
going to happen.
found this in your office. The Temple, by Matthew
Reilly. So, this is what you're getting up to in there
when General Hammond thinks you're doing paperwork.
Don't worry, I won't snitch and Teal'c has already been sworn
to break it to you, kid, but George wants to borrow it
when I'm done.
the - what kind of trash are you reading here, Jack?
No dissing my reading material. Mathew Reilly is a fine
Deep in the jungles of Peru the contest
of the century is underway.
Typical flyleaf cliché-ridden hyperbole.
boy, I can hear that head of sneer you've already got going
after one sentence. Lighten up, it's a great book. You'll
love it! Actually, I'll love it. You'll get
It's a race to locate a legendary Incan
idol - one carved out of a strange kind of stone. But
a stone, which, in the present age, could be used as the
basis for a terrifying weapon.
dear. I'm getting a bad feeling about this. I hope the
writing on the inside is better than the writing on the
The US Army wants this prize at any cost.
But they are not alone...
my, the plot sickens.
can the comments and just read the book? Geez! I want
to know what happens next. I got interrupted in a really
The only clue to the idol's final resting
place is to be found in a 400-year-old manuscript. Which
introduces Professor William Race, a mild-mannered but
brilliant young linguist,
That's the best part!
who is unwillingly recruited to interpret
the document that could lead the US team to the idol itself.
yeah, like THIS would ever happen! Mild-mannered, brilliant
young linguists recruited by the ARMY to unlock the secret
of some mouldering old archaeological puzzle that is the
key to some improbable technological wonder. Who in their
right mind is going to believe THIS scenario? Army indeed!
And while we're at it, what kind of an obviously macho
and unlikely name is RACE for a supposedly mild-mannered
academic? It's even stupider than Indiana. Oh, wait a
minute, wait a minute - 'Professor William Race'? 'Professor
Will Race'? Oh, for crying out loud, that's not a NAME,
that's a sentence! Geez!
the archaeologist is the hero. What more do you want?
And you're just mad because 'Doctor Daniel Jackson' doesn’t
mean anything but trouble. That's the long and the short
of that one!
So begins the mission that will lead Race
and his armed companions to a mysterious stone temple hidden
in the foothills of the Andes. This is a carefully contrived
unlike the plot, I'll bet.
sanctuary seething with menace and unexpected
dangers. But it is not until the temple is breached that
Race and his team discover they have broken a golden rule...
SOME DOORS ARE MEANT TO REMAIN UNOPENED...
could say the same thing about some books. Oh well, chin
up, Daniel, how bad can it be? Let's just crack the cover,
find your page and see, shall we?
The conveyor belt stopped.
Race stopped, too, the nape of his neck
jolting to a halt an inch from the speeding blur of the
helicopter's rotating blades.
nothing like getting right into the action.
THE BOOK! We're just getting to the good part!
Anistaze's face went blank in surprise.
What the fuck-?
Race took the opportunity and kneed the
Where'd he come from? Nobody said anything about Nazis
in the cover blurb.
they did. The 'they are not alone' part. You just gotta
know how to read these things.
anyway, where were we? Race took the opportunity and
kneed the Nazi hard in the crotch.
he would, wouldn't he?
gonna read, or bitch? Geez, can't get good help these
Just as Race grabbed him by the lapels.
"Smile, motherfucker," Race said.
can't say I'm too impressed with 'Race's' linguistic ability
You can manage to be quite the potty mouth when you put
your mouth to it! Mind! I meant mind!
And then he dropped down onto the conveyor
belt and rolled quickly backwards, underneath the chopper's
blurring blades, using his new-found leverage to yank
Anistaze, neck-first, right into the buzzsaw-like blades
of the helicopter.
The rotor blades sliced through Anistaze's
neck like a chainsaw through butter, removing his head
from his body in a smooth, frictionless cut.
Jack! How can you READ this crap? Chainsaw
through butter? I don't know what's more improbable, the
scenario or the prose. Has this guy ever been anywhere
NEAR a helicopter? Or a chainsaw, for that matter?
An explosion of blood spattered all over
Race's face as he lay on the conveyor belt, still holding
onto Anistaze's lapels.
he missed going for the obvious cliché of having Race watch
the severed head slowly spinning through the air, pin-wheeling
off disgustingly to land somewhere close by with a nasty
wet and squishy 'thwack'?
that was good! I'm impressed! Hey Danny, you
ever think of writing action adventure thrillers? You're
Race quickly discarded the body - yecch!
- and rolled himself off the conveyor belt.
He shook his head. He couldn't quite believe
what he had just done. He had just decapitated a Nazi.
a helicopter. Actually, after reading that passage I'm
beginning to understand why this book appeals to you.
we have left off dissing the book and have moved onto dissing
the colonel's taste in literature.
just going to get worse, isn't it? Oh well, I've done
more distasteful things in my time, and it's for a good
cause, after all.
if you really love me I've got a couple other titles stashed
in the filing cabinet…
saved by the Jaffa. Does this mean we're not going to
finish the chapter? I'm never going to find out how
this damned book ends.
Teal'c! Great timing! I don't know how much more
Matthew Reilly I could have… um…what's that?
you got me what it looks like but it smells like…soup.
Cream of broccoli, if my nose does not deceive me. One
of your favourites. And if there's a ham and cheese sandwich
along with it you might just be trading me in for a livelier
have brought you sustenance. Doctor Fraiser is becoming
concerned you are not devoting sufficient time to satisfying
your own nutritional requirements. As am I.
me guess. It's this or…
me, DanielJackson, you do not wish to experience the alternative.
he says, Daniel. One of us getting our goodies through
a tube is enough.
well, um…thanks. Just leave it there and I'll get to
will get to it, NOW, DanielJackson.
I know THAT tone, too.
not leaving 'til I do.
usual, your perspicacity -
matched only by YOUR pertinacity.
crying out loud! Eat, dammit!
And a sandwich. Ham and cheese. Oh…wow, that's - that's
really… Well, it does smell good. Looks…thanks.
I guess I am a little hungry at that. I just - I forget.
Got other things on my mind.
will observe Colonel O'Neill while you eat.
yourself out, Teal'c. Not much to see. I'll see if
I can manage a fart for ya. That might be entertaining.
O'Neill, you do not need to be concerned for DanielJackson's
well-being. I will look out for him, as long as you cannot.
you, my friend. I know you will. I'll know you'll take
damned good care of him.
you're the first person who's spoken to him like - like
you know he's still in there. Like you believe he can
you believe this, DanielJackson?
I do. Absolutely.
certainty is all the evidence I require it is indeed so.
you, Teal'c that - that means a lot. It really does. I
- I - ohhhh….
What the hell was that? Sounded like something breaking.
Daniel? Daniel, are you all right? Someone SAY
something - what the FUCK is going on!
Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…damned bowl slipped
right out of my hand. It's okay, just…I'm just a little
tired. Oh nuts, there's a mess.
That's what they pay the help for. I'm just glad you're
not be concerned, Daniel. I would be happy to get more
soup for you, if you wish.
everything all right in here?
Popping by to rotate my tires? Couple more people and we
can have ourselves a party. I'd make a good centrepiece.
Or a piñata.
Hammond! Everything is - it's fine. I'm a little
clumsy today, is all. Sorry. Sorry about the - the
not important right now, son. Teal'c if you wouldn't
mind excusing us, I'd like to have a private word with Doctor
This doesn't sound good. Conversations that start with
sentences like that usually…suck.
you wish, General Hammond. I will return with more soup,
- Teal'c, it's okay, you don't have to - ah, he's gone.
Stop by again soon. Bring more books.
Jackson, this isn't going to be a pleasant conversation
for either of us.
that all three of us.
we're going to have it anyway, right?
I'm neither unsympathetic to your concern or unfeeling
about the colonel's condition but I am also the commanding
officer of this facility and as such am responsible the
well-being of all of the people under my command.
the ones in comas?
- don't get pissy with the general. He's just trying to
do his job. You're giving him attitude isn't going to
change things. Not going to change a damned thing.
I know you've tried to remain optimistic about the colonel's
recovery, and I commend you for your efforts on his behalf,
but I think it's time we faced certain facts.
George is calling him Daniel. Crap, this is going to be
so, so bad.
been over a week now - almost two, as a matter of fact
- since the incident on P8Y-204 and there has been no discernible
change in the colonel's condition. Or any indication we
have reason to hope there will be a change.
says the fact she hasn't had to put him on a respirator
is a good sign. His vitals are remaining steady. There's
been no deterioration in his condition.
me! I might be a lump but I'm a healthy lump. Oh - oh
Sir. No improvement. That's true, I'm not denying that
either. But that still doesn't mean -
Daniel, it doesn't. But I feel I must remind you this
is a front-line medical facility. We have neither the
spare personnel nor the resources to give the colonel the
kind of full-time specialised care and attention he will
require if his current condition - persists - much longer.
I'm sorry, Daniel, but this isn't the place for him if
he's going to be -
still officially listed as Jack's next of kin - right?
that's right. I'd forgotten. We did that ages ago - long
before - seemed like the right thing to do. He asked me
first - him not having anyone else to make decisions for
him and all, if something happened out there. Made me
realise I needed someone more - on the spot - than Sara.
In case something happened to me. Couldn't think of
anyone whose judgment I trusted more. Still applies.
your hands, Daniel. What's left of me, that is.
are. That's why we're having this conversation. Any decisions
and arrangements are contingent upon your agreement and
That's fine. I understand. How much time does he
have? Before he has to….
should be soon. I'm terribly sorry, son, this is a damned
distasteful task, and it's not easy to say this to you,
but this situation can't continue much longer. As long
as it looks as if the colonel is going to remain in a coma
- this is in Jack's best interests as well, son. I hope
you can see that. The kind of care he's going to require
- we just can't give it to him here.
understand. I do. I know you're only thinking of what's
best. The way it looks - you don't have any other choice.
It's okay. Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
I'll - I'll - if it's still necessary, we'll be going.
truly sorry, son. I wish it didn't have to be this way.
- I - me too. Thank you for being so frank with me, General.
It's been an honour knowing you. I know if Jack could
- he'd say the same thing. Now, if you wouldn't mind -
I'd - I'd like - I've got some thinking to do…
I thought he'd never leave. Well, I'm officially bummed
RIGHT OUT. How's it with you?
sorry you had to hear that, Jack. God…
listen, about this 'we' stuff. Listen to me. Listen!
How's he supposed to hear a damned thing when I can't -
goddamit, I fucking HATE this! Danny, don't be
stupid! You're going to throw it all away, the gate, your
work - your life. For what? For me? Colonel Carrot? You
want to do something for me? Do me some real good? Do
me a favour. Put a bullet in my brain!
listen to me. It's not going to come to this, but if -
I'm not going to let them pack you off somewhere and forget
about you. Or let a bunch of strangers - you'd hate
that, I know how much you'd hate that. It's not going to
you think I'd like having you throwing your life away babysitting
my flabby, useless ass twenty four seven any better?
Saddling you with changing my diapers and feeding tubes?
Hosing me down? Wiping my ass? Flipping me over
once a week so I don't go bad? Waiting for me to die? Oh yeah,
that's much better than having a bunch of people I don't
know and don't give a shit about giving me a regular lube
and shave and topping off my tank.
know what you're thinking and I don't care if I have to
spend the next twenty years scraping barnacles off your
hull where you go, I go.
let you do this - it's not fair to you.
argue with me! This is the way it's going to be. I
can't leave you - I won't. I meant it back there on 402,
and I mean it now. What, I'm going to just walk away -
abandon you? Carry on skipping happily through the
universe and leave you behind, alone - like THIS - conscious,
aware, trapped in your own body and helpless - what kind
of a friend would I be, what kind of - You're
still YOU, Jack. You're still… This doesn't change
anything. You hear me? Not a damned thing. Not the
way I feel about you, not the way I need…love….
Danny, I'm sorry. Don't - please, don't -
Sorry, Jack, sorry, sorry, I shouldn't be - I could kick
myself, acting like this. You don't need to listen to
this. Don't pay any attention to this. I'm okay.
right, maybe I'm not. But I will be. We BOTH will be.
I know I'm right, Jack, I know it, you have to believe
me. Trust me. You probably think I'm some kind of fool
grasping at straws and living on false hope, and you wouldn't
be the only one, but I want you to listen to me, for just
I'm not going anywhere. Hah hah. That's a joke.
been thinking, about the stuff we almost lost you in on
204. Teal'c says the Goa'uld have never been able to discover
the identity of the race putting down those traps, if that
is, in fact, what they are, but they've encountered them
all over the galaxy, apparently. They have no idea what
they're for, all they know about them is getting stuck
in one is NOT a good idea, but given how wide-spread they
are and what happened to you - I'm thinking they're biological
containment units. Holding pens for specimen collection
and long term preservation.
seriously, stay with me. Hear me out. I've had time to
think this through. It makes sense. Say you're an alien
biologist who wants to make a random, galaxy-wide sampling
of life forms, And you want live specimens. You put out
your traps, a lot of them - but you're not sure how often
you're going to be able to pop by and collect them. Which
means you have a potential preservation problem. Not only
do you want your specimens to stay put, but you want them
to still be alive when you come and get them. Even if they're
going to be in there for years before you can collect them.
Therefore, you build the trap/containment unit with that
in mind. Make sure it incorporates certain elements that
solve both your problems for you.
whatever it was in the goo putting you to sleep, it wasn't
trying to kill you, it was paralyzing you so you'd be easier
to collect. And the 'goo' itself is multipurpose - it's
also the specimen jar. The containment vessel.
Once the specimen goes 'under' it probably acts on it like
some kind of stasis field, keeping it alive and protected
from any attempts to remove it so once something is in
the 'jar' no one can find it and pull it out again. What
do you think?
have an easier question?
I know it's only a theory, but it fits the facts. We don't
know you would have died if you'd gone all the way under
- that's just an assumption. But what Teal'c said, about
not being able to 'find' the man who went down before they
could get to him… He doesn't know for sure his man was
killed either, only that he wasn't able to get him OUT,
once he was all the way in. That's all we really know
for sure. About what happened to him, I mean.
thinking going under wouldn't have killed you at all, it
would have placed you in a state of suspended animation
- preserved you until you were collected and this paralysis
you're experiencing right now - it's a temporary side
effect of being exposed to the paralyzing agent in the
sludge that is part one of the process - subduing the subject
quickly not only so it can't escape, but can't injure itself
struggling. The feeling of going to sleep, it got worse
when you fought it, right? What you're going through now
didn't happen to the other men - or me for that matter
- but we weren't exposed to it as long as you were. We
were pulled right out again almost as soon as we went in.
You - weren't. You were stuck - literally - in the 'capture'
stage for a long time, a lot longer then you were supposed
to be, half in and half out of the goo trying to put you
out while it was pulling you under, so you got an overdose
of the paralysing agent. That's why it's taking such a
long time for the effects to wear off. But they will -
they have to. Don't you see - the agent was never intended
to have a permanent paralyzing effect, once you went under
the goo itself -
an assumption, Daniel. An interesting theory, but -
I didn't hear you come in.
I think we should talk.
Carter, come on in. Pull up a chair. Take a load
off. While you're at it, see if you can get Daniel to
take five, lie down and crash for a day or two.
too late, Sam, the general beat you to it. We've already
had the 'it's time to face facts, Doctor Jackson' chat,
but thanks for thinking about me.
Danny, take it easy. It's going to be okay. Cut him some
slack, okay, Carter? He didn't mean it. He's not mad at
you. It's just not a good time right now.
God, Sam, I - I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm
just…it's not a good time right now, General - General
Hammond, he just -
- he's bleeding all over you, Carter! DO something!
Fuck - FUCK why can't I get out of this FUCKING BED?
know, Daniel. He told me. That's why I'm here.
- I -
up and get over here.
you! It's about time!
sorry. I shouldn't be doing this - you don't need this
I wasn't a Boy-Scout but I've come prepared. Brought lots
and lots of Kleenex. If you can't cry with your friends,
who can you cry with? Here. Have some.
Well, this should just about do me, what are you going
it kids, get it out. Enough of this 'carrying on like
a brave soldier' crap. I'd join ya, but I'm working on
my inanimate object impression. Just about got it down
at me! I'm supposed to be comforting you! Pretty
not laughing, Sam. Here. Blow your nose.
I told myself I wasn't going to do this, but I can't help
it. I just can't believe he's gone, Daniel.
don't say that - please don't say that. He can hear you.
Daniel, he can't - Daniel? Daniel, please, don't walk
away from me. Listen to me, please, just - just listen.
I know you don't want to hear this, but - Daniel, try to
understand. I'm only thinking about you. I'm
worried - I hate to see you -
I know, I know. I know you mean well. I know you're
just thinking about what's best for me, and you're worried
about me and last thing you want to do is hurt me. I
know all of that. I do. That's fine. Now you
listen to me. Don't worry. Okay? I know what I'm
I just want to help -
if you really want to help try having a little faith -
how about you have another hug and drop the subject before
someone gets hurt.
Oh Daniel, it's a wonderful thought and I really wish it
was that easy, but all the faith in the world won't change
reality. Believe me, I know. You've convinced yourself
the colonel is going to wake up, because you don't want
to face the alternative, but Daniel, it's just not going
to happen. Running away from it - or me - isn't going
to change things. Yelling at me to have FAITH isn't
going to bring the colonel back.
one certainly hope so. That faith thing, Daniel? You
keep right on doing it.
look at you. I hate to see you DOING this to yourself.
You're so dead on your feet you can hardly stand. You
haven't left this room in nearly two weeks. You're
killing yourself - and for what? I'm telling you, I know, the
longer you do this to yourself -
give it up, he's not listening, you're just making him
I mean it - stop right now, or please go.
off, Carter. He's been through the wringer enough already.
He doesn't need 'Mom' setting him straight. For his own
good. Just give him a little time, okay? He'll face
facts when he's got no other choice. Besides, what he
just said - he damned well could be right. It does, it
does make a lot of sense. And he's halfway righter
already than any of you for realising my lights are turned
on even though it looks like no one's home, so why can't
he be right about the rest of it?
it's all the same to you, Carter, I'm backing Daniel's
horse. No offence, but in this particular instance I'd
much rather he be right than you. Works out a lot better
for me in the long run, you understand.
of a lot better.
I'm sorry, I really don't want to hurt you, but SOMEONE
has to say this to you. I know how much you want to believe
in this - this fantasy about the colonel -
not crazy, Sam. And I'm not in denial or delusional. I'm
right. Jack IS going to come out of this. And can we
please NOT talk about this any more? Especially in front
he's NOT Daniel. Why won't you see that? If there was any
chance what you want to believe is true we'd have seen
SOME indication by now -
I've been trying to throw Daniel a bone for days but so
far, no luck. Which is a tad depressing, as you can well
again, maybe not.
who's making assumptions? How can you say that? How can
you make an definitive declaration on what is and isn't
possible about something you know absolutely NOTHING about!
We have no idea how this thing did what it's done to Jack.
If we don't know what's causing it or how it's doing it,
what's to say it won't just stop doing it - any time?
kids, calm down. You both sound like you're ready to blow
a gasket. Having a go at each other isn't going to change
the fact I can't scratch my nose and I really NEED to.
I'll admit on one of my stranger days I had fantasies about
the two of you fighting over me but I'll tell ya, it didn't
go anything like this.
I've been talking to Janet. She's not as optimistic
about the colonel's prognosis as you are.
NOT true, she hasn't said ANYTHING like that to me and
I'll thank you to not say it in front of Jack as well.
- it's okay. I'm a big boy. Carter doesn't mean - she's
only trying to help. She thinks she's doing the right
thing. Just like you.
she supposed to say, Daniel? What can ANYONE say to you
don't seem to be having any problems! Okay - okay, sorry.
I'm getting a little… All right, you want me to face
facts, let's have it then. Did Janet tell you there is
absolutely no chance Jack is going to get better?
I hope not!
Because she doesn't KNOW! And neither do you!
you think I like saying this, Daniel? Do you think I like
having to FACE this with you? I can't help the colonel
talk about him like he isn't here!
isn't, Daniel, he's gone. He's gone - and I think it's
long past time you -
wrong, Carter. I know you mean well, but the colonel has
NOT left the building!
it, Sam, just - stop it!
I've been through this before, I know - I want to help
you, please, let me help.
me? How is trying to convince me to turn my back on Jack
You're not the only one who's lost someone they CARE about,
you know! You're not the only one who's shocked, and
grieved, and - and hurting! You're not the only one who
this is really getting out of hand. Daniel, come on, buddy,
hear what she's saying. I know you've been through a lot
already, but this is not a good time to throw the empathy
thing out the window.
never said I was.
yeah, well you're sure ACTING that way.
Carter, that was a bit of a low blow. Now I know you're
upset but -
THAT supposed to mean?
The gloves are off. I gotta break this up. Like, NOW. They're
gonna be cleaning blood off the walls for days if I don't.
it would be a lot easier to - to accept what has happened
if you weren't - oh, never mind, forget I even -
no, let's NOT forget it. You obviously have something
to say. Enlighten me. Please.
How hard can it be to wiggle a finger? Ohhhh GOD!
can't bear to see you hurting yourself like this.
myself? I'm TELLING you…I've TOLD you OVER and OVER
he's ALIVE, he's HERE. GOD! He's…he's LISTENING
to this! To YOU! How can you give up on him like
this? Why won't you TRUST me?
course I trust you, but you're not thinking RATIONALLY
right now, Daniel.
yeah, I was wondering when you were going to get around
to THAT! Here he goes again, being his usual flaky self.
Crazy, wacky, illogical, emotional, IRRATIONAL Daniel.
you let him go? Please. Just let him go.
HE wouldn't want you to be doing this to yourself for his
sake, you know he wouldn't.
it a little early to be holding the wake, Sam?
What HE said!
right, get angry with me if it makes you feel better but
you ARE going to have to let him go. I'm sorry for being
so blunt but I'm telling you the sooner you accept this,
the easier it will be for everyone.
on, Jack. You can do it. Ohhhhh GOD! Wait a minute,
wait a minute….
the hell are you talking about, Sam?
been so - absorbed - you've possibly forgotten you're not
the only one being affected by this. And what you do gets
noticed. People respect you here, Daniel. Your opinion
carries a lot of weight. What you're doing right now,
it's making it very hard for people to - to - It would
be a lot easier to come to terms with the colonel's loss
if you weren't -
on with my pointless vigil and filling the mountain with
my 'fantasy'? I should just shut up and get with the
program so you can all bury him and get on with your lives?
Only one little flaw with your plan - he's not DEAD yet!
And he's not going to die! He's going to wake up and
walk out of here and I WON'T leave him until he does. I'm
not going to toss Jack into the trash so YOU can get a
I think I actually - I BLINKED! DANIEL!
isn't about me!
HELL it isn't! You want to give up on Jack and you can't
because I keep being my usual, obstinate, uncooperative
self, refusing to see things your way. Messing up your
orderly, explainable universe with all my half-baked notions
and unsubstantiated hunches and opinions. You've been
trying to shove your 'it doesn't fit in my little box of
facts so it doesn't exist' blinders on me for years. Well,
you know what, not only can you keep them, I'll be more
than happy to tell you what you can DO with them!
For crying out loud, you haven't let go of me for a week
and now when I really NEED you to - crap - LOOK at me.
Grab my hand! SOMETHING!
- maybe you should just leave now, Sam. Before I say
something I'm really going to regret.
a little late for that. But don't worry, me and my
Jack! Can you hear me? Sam, his eyelids are moving, he's
trying to - Jack, can you squeeze my hand? Even a little
bit? Try - just try."
His finger twitched. I saw it. You were right,
Daniel, you were right. All this time - I'm so sorry.
Colonel - Colonel can you hear us?"
squeezing my hand. I can feel it."
- I'll get Janet!"
Jack, Jack, I KNEW you'd beat this."
you did, Daniel. You sure did. Now if only I can get
my eyes open and keep them -
yourself, Colonel. Good to see you."
Jack, here we go. Open up."
look mom, I'm sitting up. No hands. Call the media.
I'd do it myself but the dialling the phone thing? Could
be a problem. I'm coming out of lumpsville, but getting
all of me back online isn't proving to be quite as rapid
a process being veggified. Oh well, at least I'm not drooling
and falling over onto my face if Daniel lets go of me.
I can sit up on my own, move everything okay, just not
very well. I'm not even close to co-ordinated enough to
feed myself yet, hence my current requirement for a little
hand to mouth assistance.
isn't quite as much fun as mouth to mouth, but given where
we are at the moment, that's not something Daniel can do
for me. So I guess I'm going to have to settle for his
he is, my hero - and trust me, I mean that - Daniel,
red-eyed, wrung out and in serious need of sleep, not to
mention a shave. He's a sight, and you know what, he's
never looked better. He hasn't budged since I opened my
eyes yesterday, been with me every second. As good as
his word and then some.
I'll probably hate myself for this but he looks like he
needs to lighten up a bit. I'm being considerate. Really.
Never mind: it'll be fun.
you try lying around in a bed listening to your hair grow.
at the spoon headed my way and flip Daniel a disapproving
look. "Wait a minute - wait a minute. What the hell is
that? I'm not eating that!"
not?" he returns, looking genuinely surprised at my
reticence. And not nearly annoyed enough.
"It's plain, old ordinary stew. You've eaten it hundreds
of times. Stop being such a baby - "
Nice thing to say to a guy getting spoon-fed!" I complain
as Daniel heaves a weary sigh.
he grates. "I didn't mean - "
- what are those orange things?" I sniff.
believe they're carrots, Jack," Daniel replies, squinting
at me with marked dislike. I'm getting a warm, happy
glow inside. "You know, long orange things,
grow under ground? Bugs Bunny is very fond of
don't like the looks of them. Get them out."
stiffens up with indignation and the disdain on his face
is a joy to behold. I can't help it; I just LOVE it when
he gets pissy with me. I can't do anything else I want
to him right now, but I sure can wind him up.
I still got it.
I'm not picking all the carrots out of your stew,"
he informs me sternly. " I'm not picking ANYTHING
out of your stew. As a matter of fact if you don't cut
the crap and start eating you're going to be WEARING your
Grum-PY!" I gloat. " I don't think I like your
attitude. Threatening the patients. I'll be
reporting you to the staff."
LUCK getting one to come near you!" he snorts. "Ever
since you opened your eyes you've done nothing but complain.
They've washed their hands of you."
is still telling me off but his eyes are softly glowing
with that special light only I get to see. He gets the
game. Has just as much fun playing.
notice you're still here," I say quietly. What I
don't say - and I don't know where I'd be if you weren't -
loudly implicit between us. Perfectly understood.
a congenital heart defect," he mutters sourly.
spot in it," he tells me with a crooked grin.
" For you. Goes with the one in my head."
wasn't going to say anything," I grin back at him.
you. Now, can we get back to - "
yeah, whatever," I wave away the rest of his sentence.
Can't do much else with the hand but I can flap it around.
I've lived down to his expectations enough. Beside, I'm
starting to get hungry. " Gimme."
halfway through the bowl, carrots and all when Ferretti
pokes his head through the curtain. "Knock, knock!"
he says with a grin. "Hey Colonel! We just
got back and heard the good news. Thought I'd check it
out for myself."
I reply around the mouthful I'm still working on.
"The rumours of my resemblance to a head of lettuce are
I don't know about that," Daniel smirks. I
ignore him. For the moment.
stifles a snort and shakes his head. "Anyway, I
just wanted to stop by and see how you were. Can't stay
- gotta - " he fingers his mud-spattered BDUs " -
for thinking about me." I manage a little wave.
"Stop in again some time and do me a favour. Tell
the rest of my fan club they're more than welcome to darken my
door. I could use a change of pace. The company
here - " I pause and make a face at Daniel " - is
presently leaving a lot to be desired."
flashes Daniel a sympathetic look. "Handful, is he,
you have NO idea," Daniel replies with a perfectly
On to Part Two