MAN MOST UNFORTUNATE BY PHOENIXE
||Jack and Daniel involved in a loving and committed
relationship, which usually involves sex.
||Established Relationship, Angst, Episode Tag for Point
||A kiss witnessed through the quantum mirror convinces
Daniel he's keeping Jack from his 'true love'. Jack determines to convince
||87 Kb Posted to the net 12 May 05
Notes: Believe it or not, this wee tale
goes waaaay back to early 2000, first written shortly after I crossed over
the great Slash Divide for a slash zine that never happened. It's one of
the very first slash stories I wrote. I knocked out the original version,
sent it out and for the next year and a half forgot about it. When Chance
was looking for submissions for her zine 'The Other Side' I remembered
it again, dug it out, dusted it off, was promptly horrified, and did a
fair amount of necessary rewriting before submitting it. Chance was gracious
enough to accept it, it debuted in her zine, and in this incarnation the
story won a Sizzler Award. When the zine timed out a year later I included
the story in the first Six Pack and then the year after that, it was featured
in the Reprise. I was tidying up my desk this morning, came across some
pages of the Reprise I'd printed out and realised it's been a year since
the zine was originally published. Now, I never intended to release any
of the stories in the Reprise to the net, but the more I looked at this
puppy I said to myself, oh, why the hell not. I figure it's more than
done its time in zine limbo, why not let it fly, be free. And yeah, I
really like it, and I hope it'll find a few more people who maybe haven't
seen it yet and will appreciate it. I think it's the best one from the
Reprise, and I hope you enjoy.
that was - weird.
quite as creepy as kissing my sister - if
I had one, that is - but close.
Still, it had to be done, there
really wasn't any other way to make the
point, and from the look on her face, it
did the trick.
it took was one little kiss.
really not him, are you?"
Doctor Carter/O'Neill's voice is
very small and sad, and she looks up at me
with big, wounded blue eyes full of hurt
and the quickly fading gasps of her last,
Ever since she first saw me she's
been trying to keep the other dead me
alive by clinging to a ghost of flesh and
Hoping there was still something of him she
could reach and have in me.
I'm not," I answer her gently, but
I'm not going to lie to her either.
I might look like him, Doctor, but
that's as far as it goes.
I'm not her Jack.
Not that guy.
Never will be.
Never could be.
Don't want to be.
Was never, ever meant to be.
figured that before, but now - now I know
it's mean of me to want us both to be
absolutely clear on this, but that's the
way I feel.
I could have left it alone, left
her with something, even if it is a lie.
I could have.
What could it hurt to let her cling
to her little illusion?
No skin off my ass, it's not like
we're ever going to see each other again.
But I can't let her leave thinking
she might have had even a snowball's
chance in hell with me. Why?
Good question. I can barely explain
it myself, it's got something to do with
Making sure everything's right with
The way it should be.
God, meaning of life stuff.
Crap, I can't believe I just said
that. I think Daniel's starting to rub
off on me.
Not as often as I'd like him to,
but - never mind that right now, Jack,
stay on topic.
problem is though, a lot of what's not ever
going to be happening between me and
Doctor C - or any
C's, for that matter, has everything
to do with what has
happened between me and Doctor J.
Letting Carter's pissy twin lock
lips with me for a few seconds has
suddenly brought everything into
For both of us.
whole 'another me with Carter' thing has
been like a burr up my butt ever since
Daniel let the engagement out of the bag
after returning from his unscheduled
side-trip to Dimension Weird.
Even though even back then I knew
I wanted Daniel like I've never wanted
anything in my life.
And even after he made all my
wildest hopes and dreams come true, every
once in a while I look at Carter and that
creepy what if feeling starts
crawling around in my brain.
with my head.
don't even want to tell
you what having to deal with Mrs
O'Neill wearing Carter's face in my face
has been doing to me.
Not to mention the added
complication of having her latch onto me
like I was going to rise to the occasion
and her expectations and fill in for
the Jack she's lost.
Let's just say I wasn't exactly
broken-hearted when it turned out they
Frankly, taking on an entire
mountain full of Jaffa scared me less than
the prospect of having two
Carters on my hands full time - one weirding me out because she
was mistaking me for her dead husband and
the other getting weirder because she was wondering what
her other self has that she doesn't and what
the other Jack saw in the other her
that I - um - don't and what Carter
Two was getting while she…
Hurts my brain too much to think
oh yeah, that whole scenario sounded like
a barrel of laughs to me.
that as it may, it's all over now.
I won't be losing any more sleep
wondering about 'what if'.
Or why things went the way they did
on the other side of the mirror, even.
Or if I missed my turn and headed
down the wrong fork in the road on this
all came clear with one little kiss.
I let Doc Carter go I become suddenly
aware we've had an audience.
Carter and Daniel have been
checking out the good-bye action from the
other side of the mirror.
Carter's got a look on her face
somewhere between envy and she's just seem
something making her sick to her stomach,
like getting an eyeful of her Dad making
out or something.
Never a dull moment.
Carter - squared - isn't my biggest
concern at the moment.
They're both all grown up; they're
going to have to work this out for
Lord knows I've got enough on my
plate trying to sort my own shit out.
The only person I want to make sure
is okay with all of this is Daniel.
not even looking at me; his eyes are
tracking Doctor Carter as she moves away
from me, wiping the tears from her eyes.
All I can say is if he was capable
of ripping the heart right out of his
chest and handing it to her, that's what
His mouth tightens with sorrow
as he watches her for a few seconds
longer, and then those searching, compassionate
eyes flick briefly over to our Carter.
no, Daniel - don't go there.
haven't said a word but he heard me just
Like that's never happened before.
He turns his head and his gaze drills into
me, locking, looking deep without
revealing what he's thinking.
take a step forward, heading for the
mirror, for him, but the second I start to
move so does he.
Away from me, out of my sight like
he can't bear to be where he once was. I
slam my palm on the cold metal surface,
feel the weird tingle taking me back where
I belong but by the time I make it to the
other side he's already gone.
manages to stay one step ahead of me
through the whole post mission procedural
dance and he's long left the mountain by
the time I'm free to decamp.
I don't see his car when I swing
past his building and I'm too damned tired
and frankly bewildered to go chasing all
over the Springs after him, so I head
home, hoping he'll be there when I arrive.
know he won't be, but I can hope, can't I?
house is dark and empty when I walk
through the door.
I hate the way it feels now, when
he isn't here.
Not home - just a place where I
hang my hat and grump around in my
underwear if I haven't got anything else
better to do.
Which used to happen a lot.
after all the years I was married I never
felt lost being here on my own before
Daniel. Sara never lived here, she didn't
fill any of these spaces, I never had
to cope with trying to live around
a vacuum that had never existed.
This was just a house - a place.
As empty and cold as I was.
I guess you could say in that
respect, I was right at home.
My place and me were truly made for
That is, until Daniel walked
through this door, straight into my heart
and brought everything inside these
walls to life.
I can barely stand to be here without him.
Especially not knowing for sure when he's
Or - or if.
I'm definitely not going there.
He'll be back.
He just needs do whatever it is he
needs to do.
One thing I've learned, when it
comes to Daniel, you have to be patient.
You can't rush the boy, definitely
can't crowd him and you sure as shit can't
make him do anything he doesn't want to
do, or before he's damned well ready to do
I'll just chill, grab something to eat,
take advantage of an unobstructed
opportunity to watch some trash on the
tube without having to put up with the
sighs, the rolling eyes and the waspish
asides about my taste in entertainment.
Yep, full and undisputed custody of
the TV remote.
It'll be fun.
Who am I kidding?
TV stays off, who cares about dinner, but
the beer is good and cold as I sit on my
ass all by my lonesome and contemplate
the latest state of my universe.
With particular focus on how fast
what seems certain can change and just how
insecure I'm still really feeling about
everything that's recently happened
between Daniel and me.
don't actually think he's regretting his
decision to become my lover, well, not –
not really, but I'm shocked just
how much the possibility frightens me
- and how very real it is to me.
Hell, I'm still trying to
understand how he was able to forgive me
enough for getting him committed to make
what we have now possible in the first
By rights he shouldn't be giving me
the time of day and he's given me so
I honestly don't know what I'd do
if he left me.
And yet I still can't get my head
around the fact he's actually mine.
now he's out there, somewhere, wrestling
with the angsty whatever that's no doubt
got his shorts in huge, honking square
I don't know what, not for sure,
got an idea, but there's so many other
things it could be and should be; him
almost getting killed - again - for one
Good one, O'Neill, you just had
to start thinking about that
particular terrifying little slice of your
own personal hell, playing out right in
front of you
I keep thinking like this I'm going to
freak myself right out of my skull.
He'll be back.
It'll be fine.
I just need more beer.
the hell? Why am I on the couch?
Crap, I must have dozed off.
Something woke me up - what?
Someone's messing with keys at the
Having a hard time finding the
right one from the sounds of it.
What time is it?
Holy fuck, it's one-thirty?
Where the hell has he been?
on my feet and heading for the stairs as
Daniel pushes the front door open.
He's barely gotten it closed before
the words come out of my mouth.
the hell have you been?"
I challenge him a little harshly.
"I've been worried sick!"
that's a big, fat fib, I was sound asleep,
but I'm awake now. I
was worried before, that much is true, and
I'm definitely still concerned, not only
by how long he's been out there on his own
whatevering but also by how indifferent
he seems to be to my less than subtle
employment of the guilt card.
Hey, I'm not above using it if
it'll get him to give but right now he's
so not buying what I'm selling.
Jack," Daniel says absently, not
really looking at me as he lets his jacket
dribble down his arms and onto the floor.
He frigging does this all the time,
I guess they didn't have coat hooks on
Abydos or something, or maybe they just
didn't have coats and normally this
would be getting under my skin, just a
tad, I mean would it kill
him to take like, two seconds
to hang the damned thing up -
to see you too," Daniel continues in
the same slightly out of it tone of voice,
giving me the willies and pulling me back
on topic at the same time.
And no, you weren't."
so that's the way it's going to be, huh
I'll see your Mother Hen routine
and raise you my Space Cadet act?
You forget who you're dealing with,
Bucko, I might not know everything but
almost everything I do know is mostly about
could you possibly have to think
about that would keep you out this late
and are you calling me a liar?" I
fire right back at him.
and yes, I am," he asserts,
punctuating his point with a slight,
defiant jut of his chin. "You know
damned well you were sleeping when I came
trying to pick a fight with me?"
Might as well find out now.
Daniel's voice is getting lower and
he's looking and sounding more and more
miserable with each passing second.
He's not playing with me - hasn't
been since he walked through the door.
He's well and truly bugged.
But nowhere near being able to talk
I push him he'll just clam up and
close right down on me.
Time to change tactics.
he asks slowly, the apprehension level in
his voice impossible to miss.
"You wanna have one?"
I soften it right down, try to coax
him into looking me in the eye.
Which he hasn't done once, yet.
shrugs slightly, staring straight ahead,
evidently finding the black night beyond
the plate glass window of the door leading
out to the deck extremely fascinating.
Way more fascinating than me.
I know better than to take it
he finally answers in a reluctant, quiet
let's not have one then, shall we?"
Daniel nods and stands there, staring,
looking for all the world like his dog has
Now as I happen to know he doesn't have
one I also know that's not what's bugging
But that doesn't mean he sure
couldn't use some cheering up and I'm
ready to sign on for the detail.
you get the fuck over here and kiss
me?" I grin at him as I open my arms
wide to welcome him in.
he mutters and ducks his head. He hunches
his shoulders for a bit and sighs like
he's still trying to make up his mind
even though he's already agreed, then
he starts shuffling toward me like
a kid who just got caught out doing
something he shouldn't and he's not
too sure of his welcome.
while I don't know for certain what's
going on in that gorgeous head of his I'm
thinking I wouldn't be too far out in left
field guessing it had something
to do with that damned kiss.
That's why as soon as my arms go
around him and I crush him tightly to me I
decide I'm going to see if another one
can't finish off what the first one
quite 'hair of the dog', but you get the
kissed Doc Carter to make a point, and I
I'm kissing Daniel now for exactly
the same reason.
And once again, it seems actions
are speaking louder than words.
Or I've got the slickest lips in
was barely with me when we started, but
I'm nothing if not determined and I do
good work, if I say so myself.
It isn't long before he's melting
and sighing and kissing me back with
deliciously wanton eagerness telling me
his brain has officially switched off and
he's now thinking with an entirely
different portion of his anatomy.
har, I love
it when Daniel gets with the program!
yeah, he's hot.
I've thrown him a different bone to
chew on and the way he's sucking on
my face he's far too busy being horny
to be bummed out.
fallen for my cunning plan.
God, I'm good! Now before we both
fall over in a lust-crazed heap on the
Danny," I leer into his ear before
licking the shit out of it.
"You wanna fuck?"
it kills me," Daniel pants, hugging
drill you 'til you drop," I vow, ever
eager to please.
such a romantic," Daniel sighs,
taking my hand and leading me toward the
Daniel roars, rocking back
against me so unexpectedly he almost
knocks me over. Holee shit, Daniel!
What's the rush?
I know what I said back there, but
I didn't mean for him to take me so
I was just kidding - but the way
Daniel is grinding, slamming
against me, howling - demanding
a little freaked.
caveman stuff, it's more my speed.
I'm a huge fan of hard, fast and
horny and Danny's been only too happy to
Danny, on the other hand likes to
be fucked for a week; long, sweet and
slow, which is more than fine by me.
At least, that's the way we've always
of a sudden he's changed the rules without
telling me and I'm a tad perturbed by his
From the moment we hit the bedroom
he's been insane, insatiable, barely
I've never been this rough with him
before - I'm trying my damndest not
to be now, to rein it in, just a bit,
but every time I try to slow things
down, cool both our jets - oh Jesus,
Jesus, Danny, take it easy!
me!" he howls again.
God, oh God his urgency hits me and
I hit back, my pelvis rocking forward like
it's got a mind of its own, my hands
clutching his hips hard.
I shudder, fighting the urge to
give in to it - give him what he's
screaming for but I'm still thrusting
harder - faster - faster than I've ever -
shrieks as my balls slap his ass.
"More!" he frantically demands,
furiously wriggling and taking me in
God, Danny, Danny, take it easy, this is
nuts, I don't want to hurt
- easy, love, easy - shitshitshit
- he's completely lost it now, we're
out of control, unstoppable, insatiable,
rubbing, grinding, pounding together any
second we're gonna spark, ignite, combust
- incinerate -
OhGodohGodohGod, what the fuck - where's
the top of my head?
On the ceiling?
Wooo hooo, Momma! What a
I think I passed out for a second
there, still can't see straight.
I'm flat on my back on the
mattress, not sure how I got here, not
sure how I survived even - Daniel - where's Daniel?
Well, if he's in the same state
I am he probably can't talk yet. My
arms and legs are sorta working again
so I start groping about beside me
in the area I think he should be, but
I'm finding nothing but rumpled and
ewww wet, sticky bedclothes and a rapidly
cooling warm spot on the mattress where
he's supposed to be…
His side of the bed's empty!
finding this development rather alarming,
given what just took place between us, so
I'm up and out of the bed like a shot.
I have to find him, like now
and make sure he's okay.
I know he was screaming at the top
of his lungs for it and he seemed to be
okay with - with what I just did to him
but I shouldn't have - shouldn't have let
it get out of hand.
Dammit, if I've hurt
not in the bedroom.
I'm a bastard, bastard prick
Fuck, where is he?
Not in the bathroom.
They should cut my balls off and -
is he, why won't he answer me?
I'm totally losing it, I didn't
even notice if his clothes are still here
or not, but he can't have gone, he didn't
have time to - I wasn't out of it that
long, at least I don't think -
so worried about him and so relieved
to see him my first impulse is to leap
across the room and hug the crap out him
but it's stopped in its tracks, just
like me, at the sight
buck naked, sitting cross-legged on the
floor in the darkness of the living room,
all of the details of the room swallowed
in shadow except the most important
There's a faint glimmer of
moonlight bleeding in through the glass of
the door to the deck, just enough to
barely dilute the darkness but when
it hits him, kisses all that white,
receptive, smooth skin making it shine…
glowing dreamily, softly gleaming in the
darkness, surrounded by a pale halo of
fairy light. Like something surreal, a fey
creature from another world.
sure cast a spell over me.
And I'm not getting free of it any
Not that I'm complaining, or
Or putting up much of a fight.
holding something in his lap, his head
bent down over it.
I can't make it out so I take a
didn't work," his voice sighs out
through the stillness, stopping me again.
I'm - I'm sorry," my tongue is
fumbling around the words, swelling and
clumsy with the emotion clogging my
"I didn't mean to hurt you -
- oh no!"
Daniel's head snaps up and I
can feel the honest, horrified concern
in the eyes devouring me.
"Oh you didn't - not at all.
Nothing like that, Jack," he
fervently assures me.
"I - you - you didn't hurt me.
I - it was wonderful. You - you
yeah, of course I was.
If I do say so myself.
just didn't work," he finishes sadly.
now I'm confused. So what else is new?
brush it off, kick my butt down the stairs
and I'm at his side in an instant,
settling down beside him, taking the
picture from his hands.
what it is, one of the photos from my
The one of the four of us.
Daniel left our bed after possibly
the hottest sex we've ever had and instead
of being cuddled up and comfortably
comatose in my arms in that same bed he's
out here, in the dark, in his birthday
suit, staring at a family photo.
family - the only one he's got.
reach out to him, put my hand on his
shoulder and he stiffens at my touch.
Almost pulls away, not quite, but
He says I didn't hurt him and he's
never lied to me but he's also never…
what's going on?"
sighs heavily and slumps, melting into my
touch, into me, taking away the taste of
fear in my mouth.
wanted to stop thinking," he murmurs.
"Stop… " he frowns and hangs
his head again.
"Just stop thinking.
But it didn't work.
I can't get her face out of my
She's so sad and I feel so - I
- I wish…
I know how I would feel - if it was
me - if I lost - "
know what's wrong and it kills me he would
still think - especially after what we
just did - I'd want anyone else,
even her, instead of him, that's not
the way it is, I have to make him understand
sorry, Jack," he mournfully murmurs.
"I made a mistake.
I can see that now.
I shouldn't have - I'm in the way.
It wasn't supposed to be me.
She loves you so much - "
Wait a minute!
Not me, pal!
She loved a guy who might have had
my face but that's as far as it goes.
Not me! Not no way, no how.
We've got nothing in common
other than the fact we started out our
lives as Jack O'Neill but after that he
went his way and I went mine and I'm not
him and - oh holy crap.
Finally buying a clue here.
the last train to Schmucksville, O'Neill,
once again you missed the boat, not to
mention the point.
Daniel doesn't think I'm settling
for him because I can't have Carter, he
thinks I should
be with Carter but I can't be.
I'm with him.
course he does, of course he does.
I've been so stupid - as
Daniel - it's the way he is, what he is, the way he
thinks, puts everyone else first -
of course he'd see it this way!
what he's seeing is he's selfishly seduced
me from my right and destined path, and
every moment he stays with me he's keeping
me from knowing true love.
Hands up anyone who thinks this is
a good idea!
Or could even get off the ground,
Possibly if I dressed up like a
particle accelerator, whatever the fuck that
is, I could hold her attention long
enough to get in some close order drill,
but she'd probably scream 'Colonel'
at the crucial moment. When she wasn't
trying to offer helpful suggestions
about my technique or fight me for
Um, so to speak.
my balls are starting to shrivel at the
mere thought of it.
All the more reason to put the
boots to this crap right here and now.
I'm not into threesomes, and Carter
in our bed, even only in spirit, is a
complication and a mood-killer neither one
of us needs.
Not to mention the boy looks like
he's about thirty seconds from offering to
do the right thing.
me up for my own good.
fuck that. I said before kissing Doc
Carter cleared up things for me.
I think it's just about time I let
Daniel in on a few hard truths.
No, not those
ones, that's for later.
Once I've chased this damned,
fool notion out of his head once and
the boots to the sucker and stomped it
toss the picture aside and grab him but
He gives a soft snuffle of surprise
as I squeeze him for a bit and then
dip in for a nice, long, juicy kiss.
was that for?" he murmurs, a tad
dazed, once I let him up for air.
I need a reason?"
I smile down at the vision sprawled
panting across my lap.
- no," he frowns, snuggling into me
in spite of himself.
that feel like the kiss of a man who was
settling for second best?"
I ask again, a little more
forcefully this time.
The frown deepens, threatening to
segue into a pout, and he's stopped
I keep going before he can get out
the protest I can see gathering in his
"I want you to shut up and
listen to me for a minute. Just - listen.
You know how much I hate this
touchy feely crap and I want to make sure
you get this the first time 'cause I sure
don't want to have to explain this to you
or talk about this ever again."
not dense!" he blusters.
"You don't have to speak to me
like I'm three!"
I admonish his stormy face. " I distinctly
you're listening, here, not
Daniel bites back at me.
Definitely pouting now.
ignore the attitude and get the show on
The sooner we get through this, the
sooner we can go back to bed.
so we're clear.
You've got this idea in your head
that just because we've come across two
realities where my counterparts have
gotten together with Carter it's some kind
of weird-ass universal given this is the
way it's supposed to be in all of them.
Somewhere out there it is written
in stone Carter is The
One for me.
Absolutely no exceptions or
That just about cover it?"
crosses his arms and glares up at me.
can't tell you," he shrugs with
irritatingly persistent petulance.
I snarl at him.
He's absolutely impossible when he
gets like this.
Fortunately for both of us I do the
impossible every day.
I'm not supposed to talk," he gloats
right back up at me.
poke him un-gently in the ribs and he
yelps and gives me an elbow to the
"Anyone ever tell you you're
the most annoying little dick-head
who ever lived?" I sneer at him.
he grins, "And while we're on the
subject of dicks I'm looking at a bigger
one right now."
suppose I should state for the record he
looking at my crotch.
yes," he admits grudgingly.
"What you just said.
You've pretty much nailed it."
rather be nailing him, but that goes
I smirk at him.
You can shut up again.
Now, talking strictly in terms of our
reality, no matter what's going on through
the looking glass, for starters there
are oh, so many things wrong with your
Mostly because it involves me with
Our Carter. Not
any of those other Carters.
You with me, here?"
Daniel drawls, rolling his eyes.
I know, you're not dense," I wink at
"Gotcha. Back on topic.
Let's just take a minute and think
Me with Carter.
Work with me!
You know me, you know Carter.
Put the two of us together.
Now tell me, what's wrong with this
pauses for a moment and I can see he's
Thinking about it.
Rather diligently, bless him.
Giving it a good honest shot.
Then his eyes widen and he snorts.
a lot, actually," he sniggers.
"I mean Sam wouldn't - that is to say
she's - and you're just so - "
I give him a little shake because
he's starting to chuckle.
I sense I'm being insulted, here.
- I'm sorry, Jack," he tries to gulp
down his amusement but he's not doing a
very good job.
"I don't mean - I'm not saying
- that is, there's nothing wrong
with you, per se, it's just - when you
really, really think about it - you
and Sam, our Sam - makes about as much
sense as - "
on a Volkswagen?"
I offer, trying to be helpful. I
don't want to be here all night, after
He nods, but he's still snickering.
glad we're on the same page with this.
Carter and me make no sense
I slip him a stern look.
"However, knowing you and I so
do, you're still asking yourself if
that's really the case, what's up the
How come they got together with
Carter and it seems to work for
he's not laughing.
No matter how nuts me and Carter
seem in this reality, it's mighty hard to
argue with what he's seen.
Her and me has happened, one time
more than him and me that we know of, and
by at least one very personal, closely
witnessed recent report, not only did it
happen, but it worked.
better than him and me.
And that's what
he's so worried about.
that," he says in a very quiet,
okay," I snuggle him a little closer
as I start to run my reasoning by him.
"So we've had a peek into two
realities were a Doctor Samantha Carter
and a guy named Jack O'Neill were an item.
Those realities had that much in
They also had something else in
common, a little something you seem to be
forgetting. They were both glaringly short
one you. And
if you don't think that
makes a difference in the way things
played out, guess again.
You've left your mark here, boyo,
more ways than I can tell you, and not
simply by being the main - hell the only
reason, many, many times over we're
both here having this conversation in the
first place and we still have a damned
planet to be having it on!
Which is more than those other
Jacks can say."
they can't say anything at all,"
Daniel adds softly. Not a hint of humour
in his expression. "They're
I give his arm a reassuring pat
before continuing. He's bummed at the
though of any
me, even ones he's never met - being -
what he said, and I have to admit thinking
about it creeps me out as well.
It's weird enough grasping there
are possibly gazillions of versions of you
kicking around the universe and yet to
know for certain the only ones you've come
across are KIA.
Kinda makes you wonder how long
your own luck is going to hold out.
talk about those other Carters and
O'Neills," I try to inject a cheerier
note in my voice. "Compare and
contrast. Carter first. I only met one of
them but Major Carter - Doctor Carter -
whew, gotta tell ya, Daniel, not even
close! You didn't spend nearly as much
time with her as I did, so take my
word for it, the woman has problems."
she did, Jack," Daniel retorts, a
"She'd just watched her world
invaded, her husband die
granted," I nod. "She was
hurting, with good reason, but the kind of
person she was to begin with…
Our Carter must have kicked
something to get where she is the Doctor
didn't, because her twin has got major
self-esteem issues thankfully missing
in our major.
I don't know what her relationship
was like with her Jack but if that guy was
anything like the one you met - her being
the way she is - I think he's
probably the main reason.
In fact, I'd make book on it.
You with me so far?
he nods, studying me intently as I press
we're agreed the Doctor Carter parts of
the equation - nothing like our
Daniel frowns in agreement.
"The Doctor Carter I met -
you're right. Definitely not like Sam.
I never could quite get used to
hearing her say 'Goold' for starters. And
she sure didn't like me much."
I have to admit in one respect she was as
smart as our Carter in that she knew a
threat when she saw one, but I'll refrain
from sharing that with Daniel.
I'll just bet if things had been different
and Daniel had been there a while longer
General Jack would have warmed to him
in no time.
He wouldn't have been able to help
Believe me, I know.
that brings us to the other mes - what -
why are you looking at me like that?"
is, he's still listening with every cell
in his body but he's got a doting, drippy
gleam in his eye and a smile quirking at
can't help it Jack, I'm just so
impressed," he shrugs.
"I've never heard you do so
much - so much
I flip a grin at him.
yeah," he nods vigorously.
All at once.
And it's so - so - " he waves
a hand like he's searching for the words.
I help him out.
hum - definitely that!"
More nodding, fanning and heavy
- dare I say it - "
yes, Jack, dare!
I finish with a grimace.
he moans dramatically and then falls
back limply in my arms.
hah, very funny," I snarl and thump
him lightly on the chest.
"Will you stop fucking around
This is serious!
Right now we're missing out on some
quality sack time, not to mention the
possibility of sleep because you've got
this bee in your bonnet about me and
Carter and I want to make damned sure
that puppy takes a hike and never comes calling again.
To achieve this worthy goal I'm making a
supreme, extraordinary effort, which I
really hope you appreciate 'cause I
wouldn't do this for just anyone, I'll
have you know. I'm being sensitive,
Daniel. Just for you.
I don't like it.
Don't make me do it again."
sorry," Daniel bites his bottom lip
and does the puppy dog eyes thing up at
me. Oh my, I gotta wrap this thing up
was I?" I croak, as Daniel swipes his
tongue slowly over his lower lip and my
dick abruptly decides it wants to salute.
were talking about yourself," Daniel
blinks demurely, like he's completely
oblivious to how much certain parts of me
are abruptly expressing their
And the other versions of me.
One you got to meet and he wasn't
exactly Mr Sensitive and the other one we
only got to hear about.
Now, if Doc Carter's Jack was
anything like the general - and
I'm guessing he was and I'll get to
why in a minute -
he was one hostile, unhappy fuck.
Mad at the universe with a heart of
stone, even being married to Carter.
I know exactly the way he was, and
so do you, 'cause I was him, when I
god, though, I'm not him any more, because
of you. You made all the difference for
me, Daniel, and that's something only
you could do. You're the one who helped
me be me, not that
screwed up bastard I used to be. Those
guys didn't have you to do that for
them, so they never became me.
Neither of those Carters was
with me they were with him.
got this slightly dazed expression on his
I can't believe it's because he's
not following me, he's more than smart
enough to keep up.
sorry," he shakes his head and gives
me a sheepish look.
"What you were saying there, I
was just having a really strange 'It's a
Wonderful Life' kind of moment.
the popcorn?" I tease.
like that," he grins.
call me Clarence and I'm decking
chance of that," he snickers.
"There's no way anyone would
mistake you for an angel, least of all
har har, you through?"
He nods and smirks at my sour face.
"Now we've got that all sorted,
you with me so far?"
yeah," he sighs and bats those big,
blue eyes at me.
He really is.
Goddammit, I'm one lucky fuck.
to the Jacks.
Those guys never got to meet Daniel
Jackson or have him in their life.
One thing I can tell you for sure,
if they had, Samantha Carter, military or
no, wouldn't have had a snowball's chance
in hell of getting to first base
with either one of them.
I'm telling you the truth, Daniel,
and believe me, I should know."
still doesn't look entirely convinced but
I'm only just getting warmed up,
He's not the only one who's been
thinking very hard about this particular
universal conundrum and I've had the
benefit of osculatory evidence to turn
my theory into a proof.
Carter says she and her Jack O'Neill were
married," I press blithely onward in
the face of his indulgent scepticism.
"Says they were happy.
Aside from the fact we only have
her word on this, it still doesn't change
the fact the guy never knew what he was
And because he never met the Daniel
Jackson of his reality he had to settle
for second best."
eyes go wide at that one.
I've got him on the ropes, now,
just a little more yakking and I'll have
him reassured and we can go back to bed
where we belong and get all nice and warm
and snugly and hopefully sweaty again if I
play my cards right.
know what was going through my mind while
I was kissing Doctor Carter?"
I tell him honestly, giving it my
"Somewhere out there is a Jack
O'Neill who will never meet Daniel
Never know him, never know what
it means to be his friend, never be
the best man he can be as a result.
Even while this Jack O'Neill is
kissing whoever he is kissing thinking
this is as good as it will ever be, he's
never, ever going to know what good
I can't help but feel sorry for the
poor bastard, wherever he is.
He's got to be the most unfortunate
man in the universe.
A most unfortunate man.
I pity him, but at the same time I
thank God I'm not him. 'Cause I got lucky
in the universal draw and I got you.
No one better, Danny.
Not for Jack O'Neill.
You're what was meant to be, for
No one else."
looking up at me with that - that look.
The one that makes me feel a
thousand feet tall and like I could do
absolutely anything and I want to, just
for him, so he'll never stop looking at me
- just like this.
languid smile blooms across his face.
"Jack," he ventures shyly.
"That's - that's…nice.
It - it really is.
I don't know what to say."
that thought, baby, 'cause I'm not done
ringing your chimes yet.
I figure as long as I'm already
having to do the sensitive thing, I might
as well do it good and proper.
Besides, if you were looking at
what I'm looking at right now you'd know
how much he's worth it.
over the top, hugely sentimental, no
foolin' God's honest truth this is the way
I really feel admission coming up, here.
never loved anyone the way I love you, and
I never knew it better than when I kissed
the woman some other me married.
I don't care if a thousand other
Jack O'Neills in a thousand other
realities have married a thousand other
Carters, doesn't change the fact I know
Daniel Jackson is the one Jack O'Neill is
always meant to be with."
Oh yeah, definitely worth it!
Daniel gasps, his face aching with such
happiness it almost hurts to look at him.
"You've never - I never knew -
Not come right out and said,
not like this.
I should have.
I should have my butt kicked from
here to Timbuktu and back again for
leaving even the slightest particle
of doubt in his mind he wasn't loved
with everything I've got.
Maybe if I had, he wouldn't have
okay I didn't, but I have now and he
That's all that matters, after
lean forward, closing the gap between us
'til our lips are almost touching.
"Now, this is the last I want
to hear about any crap about me and
Carter is on her own.
She's going to have to find her own
Sure, she deserves to be happy.
Some day, I'm sure she will be.
But it sure'n hell won't be with
me, nor was it ever supposed to be.
You see, Danny, I'm one of the
I got to meet Daniel Jackson.
I got to play on the first team.
No substitutions required.
I didn't have to settle for
something which might be okay, but will
never be as good as it can get.
Will never be - the best."
really believe that," Daniel's breath
is sweet and hot against my mouth.
I risk a gentle nibble on that
lush lower lip.
just wasn't sure.
I mean I - I didn't want to take
the chance - oh, oh my - I was keeping you
- keeping you from someone - someone - oh,
um yeah - someone better - oh Jack, oh
God, that's - that's good - "
really want to step aside and let Carter
I nibble some more.
Oh God, hell
That's my boy.
moans, low and deep in his chest, desire
rumbling inside him and resonating in me.
Then he's surging up, moving into
me, our mouths crushing in frantic
agreement, a slippery, luscious lip-fest.
kissed her," Daniel lightly accuses
as he abruptly bites my
playing rough again, are we?
I can do rough.
it was bad," I hook my fingers in his
hair, pull his head back, bare his throat.
He shivers as I lower my head,
take his skin between my teeth and
"How - how bad?"
bad," I mutter and then bite his neck
He groans and bucks in my arms.
He loves this.
So do I.
"Like kissing my sister."
- that's bad," he sucks in his breath
as I lick the skin I've just teased.
"Um - Jack?"
I mutter as I lick my way up his
neck and start gnawing across his chin to
don't - don't - oh God - that's good -
don't have a sister."
if I did - it would be like that.
he echoes breathlessly, fighting my hold,
trying to turn his head toward the mouth
making for his.
I continue gnawing and licking and
keeping him from meeting my advance until
I'm ready to let him go.
He's starting to squirm and writhe
in earnest, getting hotter and hotter the
more he has to fight me.
he's barely able to grunt out he's
breathing so hard.
I tell him as I finally release him
and he turns his head blindly toward me,
seeking my mouth.
"This is good."
yeah, I'm feeling it, falling into it, the
thrill of his lips merging with mine, the
fire searing me at the slightest touch,
the way such soft, urgent sweetness
sings inside me like nothing else,
no one else -
is everything that's good to me.
So is he.
kiss until it's either give or die and at
last he laughs and clasps me around the
Breaking the kiss and falling
against me panting gently with soft,
okay," he sighs.
"You've convinced me."
mean we're all done talking about this
I ask him hopefully.
"The bee has buzzed off and
you're no longer persuaded you have
to sign me over to Carter?"
Sam can get her own colonel!"
sure she will. Eventually. And as long as
he doesn't mind playing second fiddle to a
Stargate they'll get along swell.
never going to mention this again?"
Please, please, please, pretty please?
he agrees firmly.
that's all I have, I'm happy, our bed is
calling, my job is done here but he's
suddenly wearing a little frown abruptly
making me think my confidence we'd
concluded was a tad premature.
good grief, what now?
I forgive you." Daniel announces
solemnly, a wicked gleam in his eye.
"It wasn't easy, but you are
Bite me, you little weasel!
I gape at him. "Is that so?
Well, in that case, Doctor Jackson, I've
just got one word for you."
he queries cautiously, instantly
suspicious of my tone, but far too
late to save himself.
hoot as I tumble him off my lap onto the
floor and fling myself on top of him.
He's so shocked he just lies there
and I'm actually able to roll off him and
over him from side to side twice before he
starts flailing and roaring.
off me you lout!"
Oooh, that's a new one.
I like it!
me I'm a lout, I'm a lout, I'm a
I yodel loudly and enthusiastically
as I have a go at rolling over him again.
also five years old, you fuck!" he
fumes as he tries to fight me off.
Unsuccessfully. We keep on tussling
on this carpet much longer we're both
gonna have a wicked case of rug burn
that's going to be interesting to explain
but it's just so gosh darn much fun.
maybe I am five. Guilty as charged but I
don't know what he's complaining about,
it's not like he didn't know that before.
funny thing is, no matter how much he
screams about how much I bug him - and
believe me, I do - bug him, that is.
The funny thing is, he loves me
He really does, you know.
I can't explain it, but there you
I figure that makes me the luckiest
lout in the universe.
A most fortunate man, all right.
Yup, that's me.
All you other poor bastards out
there not so blessed, good luck with
Carter and trust me, you're gonna need
when she starts trying to explain wormhole
physics to you again for the millionth
time just smile and nod. Or shoot
I'll think kind thoughts for you
while Danny and I are making out.
then again, maybe not.
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