MUCH ABIDES BY DARCY & SAMI-J

Chapter 13 
 

Charlie's bedroom door was closed when Daniel went over to borrow a pen. He was always misplacing pens. It was odd that the door was closed but he knocked and waited politely to be invited in.  

"Who is it?" Charlie nervously shouted from the other side.  

"It's Daniel. Can I borrow a pen?" 

Charlie opened the door and looked both ways down the hall before grabbing his arm.  Daniel followed Charlie's gaze down the empty hallway before allowing himself to be pulled inside. Charlie was definitely up to something. Daniel could only hope it didn't spell trouble.  

"What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously. 

His foster brother hesitated, looking him up and down, sizing him up, no doubt debating if he could be trusted. Daniel must have passed the test because Charlie reached under his bed and pulled out a model airplane.  

"I'm working on this. You can't tell anyone. Okay?" 

"Why not?" Daniel shrugged, looking around the room at all the other model planes. This one didn't look any different.  

"This is an exact replica of the one my dad flew when he was a Captain just out of flight school. I'm making it for him for Father's Day. It's the first one I've ever made by myself." Charlie's pride was obvious as he looked anxiously at Daniel.  

Father's Day? Daniel had never celebrated Father's Day in Egypt, or Mother's Day for that matter. He had only learned of the two parental holidays last year in foster care. Was he supposed to get Jack a gift or would that be stupid? He hadn't gotten Sara anything for Mother's Day but he hadn't been here very long at that time and it had been obvious he hadn't needed to. This was different. He and Jack went to work together. Jack was nice to him. Despite Daniel's early feelings about Jack, they had become friends. Did that warrant a gift? He had no idea. He didn't want to offend Jack by not giving him a token of his appreciation but he certainly didn't want to make any assumptions either.  

Daniel furiously chewed his bottom lip in an effort to come up with the correct Father's Day protocol, very aware of Charlie's expectant gaze. Was he supposed to get something for Jack?  Would Jack be expecting something? 

All things considered, this placement was turning out better than he had ever dared to hope and he didn't want to rock any boats.  He liked Sara and Jack and he would be happy to get either or both of them something, some kind of gift, to acknowledge how nice they'd been to him.  But a Father's Day gift... Daniel's throat tightened unaccountably at the thought.  He had a father, Dr. Melbourne Jackson, one of the finest archeologists of the 20^th century and the best dad any kid could have wanted.  He hadn't known about Father's Day when they lived in Egypt.  He'd never had a chance to give his dad a gift. Should his first Father's Day gift ever be given to Jack? That didn't seem right. Who came up with these stupid 'special occasion' days, anyway? There were plenty of kids without fathers or mothers or both and Daniel felt empathy for every single one of them. 

A rush of emotion flooded in before he had a chance to stop it and for a horrible minute he was afraid he was going to burst into tears.  Fortunately, he had two years of experience in suppressing these kinds of tears and after a minute of fierce internal struggle, he forced them back down. 

Daniel liked Jack.  Maybe he even liked him a lot, though he'd been trying not to because he knew this placement would end sooner or later.  Still, Jack wasn't his father.  No one could ever take the place of his father.   

Jack was right about one thing... he thought too much.  

"Do you think he'll like it?" Charlie held out the model for Daniel's inspection.   

"Sure. It's great." Daniel rallied in an effort to be supportive.  

Charlie smiled happily, oblivious to Daniel's forced enthusiasm. "Don't tell anyone. It's a surprise. Even Mom doesn't know. I bought it with money I saved myself," he added proudly. 

Daniel nodded and decided to take a chance. A second opinion was definitely in order.  Maybe he could get Jack something, not as a Father's Day gift but as a kind of 'thank-you for being so nice to him' gift.  "Do you think I should get Jack something?"  

"Do you want to?" 

"I don't know." Daniel's heart hurt and his head was pounding. He hated when he didn't understand what was probably obvious to the rest of the world.  

"You could if you want to, but you don't really have to since, well, since he's not your father."  

Even though he knew Charlie was trying to be helpful, Daniel winced at the pain of the words uttered out loud, words that only reinforced that old, heart-deep ache. His father was gone and he'd never have another.  His foster brother's innocent words compounded his own pain and confusion.  

"Are you okay?" Charlie asked with concern. 

The room seemed warmer and Daniel felt an overwhelming need to get out. "I'm fine," he managed.  

Charlie's expression changed.  "You must miss your father," he said quietly, suddenly catching a clue. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I think if you want to get Dad a present you should, but if you don't want to, you really don't have to. It's up to you. That's all I meant." 

Hadn't Charlie already said that? He was watching Daniel carefully, probably worried he was going to burst into tears like a baby. Instead of answering, Daniel held up the procured pen, thanked Charlie and hurried out of the room.  

For several minutes after Daniel left, Charlie continued to stare at the closed door.  Even after a couple months of living in the same house, he couldn't figure that guy out. 

His mother's words that night out by the garbage cans were still vivid in his memory.  Mom was awfully smart and knew lots about people, so she probably had the right spin on Daniel.  Even so, it wasn't easy to keep inviting Daniel to play with him and his friends when all he ever got in return was 'no thanks'.  That kind of got to a guy after awhile. 

But he had promised his mom he'd keep trying. And he had. That very next day during lunch he had thought about asking Daniel to join him and his buddies while they practiced running the bases.  Except he was pretty sure what would happen.  Another 'no thanks'.  He was tired of being constantly rejected so he'd been pleased to see Daniel heading toward a group of kids.  That seemed to relieve him of the burden of his mom's request for the time being, so he'd been happy to walk on by. 

Until he had spotted Tommy and his gang among the kids Daniel was approaching.  He had been immediately suspicious.  Tommy didn't make a habit of hanging with other kids unless he was giving them grief.  

Charlie smiled at one of his strongest memories of that encounter... how well Daniel had handled the bully.  He hadn't acted scared or intimidated by Tommy.  In fact - Charlie laughed softly as he recalled Daniel's expression - Daniel had looked like he was about to try to beat the shit out of the bigger kid.  

Not that Charlie would have blamed him. 

His smile faded at the memory of the ugly, hurtful words Tommy had flung at Daniel.  Charlie himself had been instantly furious and had wanted nothing more than to beat Tommy's face into a bloody mess.  But he knew what would happen if he gave in to the urge. 

Daniel had surprised him again by staying cool and calm, pointing out the obvious that the rest of them had missed.  Watching Tommy stomp away, totally pissed, had given Charlie a feeling of satisfaction equal to the homerun he'd hit the week before in one of his Little League games. 

Their success in facing down Tommy had been so cool, and Daniel had been the coolest part about it.  

A low chuckle escaped Charlie as he recalled that crazy - escapade.  Yeah, that was a good word.  Daniel would probably be surprised to know Charlie knew that word.  It sure fit what had happened. 

The run through the woods with Tommy yelling for blood behind them, their counter-attack - successful counter-attack, he amended with a satisfied smile - it had all been a huge rush. 

Daniel had been... amazing.  For someone who spent practically all of his time buried in a book - preferably alone in his room - Daniel's behavior had blown Charlie away.  Daniel had been scared, hell, most kids would've been scared, but despite the fear, Daniel had kept his head, kept thinking, and had even come up with the original idea behind their counter-attack.   

And when Charlie had fallen back briefly to check out the pursuit... still vivid in his memory was Daniel's response after realizing he was alone.  Instead of seizing the moment and getting away, Daniel had come back for him. 

Everything had happened so fast, Charlie hadn't had a chance to think about that, but he'd thought about it plenty since. 

Daniel was so different.  He liked things Charlie wasn't interested in and didn't like the things Charlie loved.  And he was so smart - even though his parents didn't talk about it, there was no hiding the fact that Daniel had been placed in the sixth grade.  There were also rumors floating around school about special, college-level classes being set up for Daniel.  Now that was scary smart.  Charlie had no idea how to connect with a kid like that. 

But the way Daniel had handled himself during that wild afternoon battling Tommy and his gang... that was something Charlie could understand. It was something he could respect.  There was a lot more to Daniel Jackson than he'd first thought. 

Charlie had figured that after the ruckus with Tommy and his gang he and Daniel had finally found some common ground.  But then, so fast, Daniel had retreated back into his usual withdrawn self, and Charlie had been left bewildered and, maybe, even a little hurt.  He had been tempted to quit trying. 

Except there was the promise his mother had pulled out of him.  For as far back as Charlie could remember, his dad had taught him that promises were practically sacred.  No one worth their salt broke a promise.  He had promised he would keep trying, keep reaching out to Daniel. 

So he had to keep trying.  Charlie knew that. And he would.  But really... Daniel didn't make it easy, sometimes. 

A big sigh escaped him and he looked down at the nearly-completed model in his hands.  Enough with thinking about things he couldn't figure out.  This was something he could figure out.  Charlie smiled, thinking about his dad's surprise when he saw it.  Dad would be so proud that he had made it all by himself.  At least Charlie hoped so.   

It was Sunday morning. The day Daniel had dreaded all week. Not only was it Father's Day but Charlie had a make-up Little League game at one o'clock that they'd probably all go to. He didn't want to go. The day would be so much easier if he could stay home. He could say he didn't feel good but then someone would stay behind with him. It wasn't necessary, he wasn't a baby but he was sure Jack and Sara wouldn't agree. Thinking of Sara made him wonder how she felt. It was her first Father's Day without her father.   

Daniel had felt confident in his eventual decision not to get Jack a gift but now he wasn't so sure. Jack was probably expecting something but Daniel hadn't been able to bring himself to get the man a 'Father's Day' gift.  Jack wasn't his father and would never be his father. The same confusing thoughts had been running around and around in his head for the past week with no good resolution.  

The thought of getting Jack something, a 'thank-you' kind of gift, had been in the back of his mind ever since Charlie had showed him the model airplane.  Daniel could have bought Jack a 'thank-you' kind of gift.  But then Jack would probably think it was a Father's Day gift. That might make Jack think he was dropping hints about wanting to stay here permanently and that could lead to problems, maybe even an immediate - sorry kid, your time's up - return to the Home.  Maybe...  

Why did life have to be so complicated?  

Daniel irritably snatched up the sheet and blankets to throw them back on the bed.  Simultaneously, something yanked his feet out from under him and he felt himself falling backwards.  Pain flashed up his leg, just before he hit the floor and pain exploded through his entire body. 

Lying dazed on the floor, blankets still pooled around his feet, Daniel wondered vaguely at the thunder nearby, then suddenly hands were touching his face and arms. 

“Daniel?  Can you hear me?” 

It was Sara's voice, and the realization cut through Daniel's fog.  He blinked repeatedly and gradually her face came into focus over him, a face tight with - worry? 

“Daniel,” she said again, more sternly this time, “if you can hear me I need you to tell me.” 

“I can,” he said slowly, pleased that his words made some of the lines in her forehead disappear. 

More thunder sounded nearby and Jack burst into the room.  “What the hell - !” he started. 

“Jack!” Sara snapped. 

“Sorry,” he said as he dropped down beside her. 

Daniel realized he was lying on his back on the floor, and Sara - and now Jack - were kneeling beside him.  Embarrassment surged through him and he tried to sit up. 

“I'm fine - ” he started, only to have Jack gently push him back down. 

“You don't get to decide that,” he grinned.  “That's up to the nurse.” 

“Hey!” Charlie exclaimed from the doorway.  “What happened?” 

“A little accident,” his father said calmly.  Charlie started forward and without looking around, Jack added, “We have enough people in the room, Charlie.  You go back to what you were doing.” 

He had spoken in his 'Colonel' voice and Charlie turned around immediately and disappeared out the door.  Good choice, Daniel thought, still feeling a little woozy. 

He was forced to lie still while Sara thoroughly checked him out.  Apart from a sore spot on the back of his head and a very tender ankle, Daniel felt pretty good and wished she would hurry up so they would stop hovering over him. 

After carefully examining his ankle, Sara sat back on her heels.  “Not broken,” she declared, “but you did sprain it. I'm afraid there's not going to be any Little League game for you today. It'll be best to stay off it for a day or two.” 

Daniel blinked at her while her words slowly sank in.  Here he'd been trying to think of a way to get out of going to Charlie's game and look what had happened.  If only, he thought with a wince of discomfort, he'd found a less painful way to do it. 

“Do you remember how you fell?” Sara asked. 

Daniel frowned as he tried to recall.  “I was going to make my bed.  The blankets had fallen off so I grabbed them to put them back on the bed and - ” what happened then?  He couldn't remember.  Jack enlightened him. 

“ - and tripped yourself up, it looks like,” the man said, poking gently at the blanket still wound around his feet. 

He'd done this to himself?  Geesh!  How clumsy could he get? 

On the upside, his unintentional clumsiness was the perfect excuse to escape today's baseball game. It was worth a little pain.  He did regret that his clumsiness would probably also cost Sara the afternoon's activity. 

Much to his embarrassment, Jack picked him up off the floor and laid him on the bed. Sara wrapped his ankle and informed them she'd be staying home this afternoon.  Jack only nodded but Daniel tried to protest.  

Sara quickly cut him off. “I want you to stay off of that ankle at least for today,” she said firmly.  “Besides - ” she added, with a quick glance around the room that was now empty except for the two of them - “this will give me a chance to make Jack's favorite cake.  I haven't made it in a long time so it'll be a nice Father's Day surprise.” 

Sara smiled at him and Daniel forced himself to smile back.  After making sure he had a few books close at hand, she left him to his own devices.  Daniel barely had time to open the top-most book before he had another visitor.  

“I'm sorry you hurt yourself,” Charlie said, leaning into the room while maintaining a precarious grip on the doorframe.  “And I'm sorry you can't come with us.” 

Daniel suddenly felt lower than a worm for his relief at missing the game.  His feelings for Charlie were mixed.  As much as Charlie's frustration and anger at him for spending so much time with Jack bothered Daniel, he didn't blame him.  He'd probably feel the same way if the situation were reversed.  Besides, despite being unhappy, Charlie would still jump in and help out when necessary, like he had with Tommy and his gang. 

There was no doubt about it, Charlie was a good guy.  Despite their differences, Daniel liked the older boy.  Experience taught him not to get too attached, but he had warmed up to this family.  He couldn't help it. Charlie.  Sara.  Jack. He liked them all. That was the biggest problem living with the O'Neills... it was going to hurt like hell when he had to leave. 

“Thanks,” he said.  “I, uh, I hope you win and you and Jack have a great time.” 

Charlie beamed.  There was no doubting what this day with his dad meant to him. 

“We will,” he assured Daniel, before dashing back downstairs. 

When Jack came by a little later, he leaned on the door jam and studied Daniel with slightly narrowed eyes.  They made Daniel think of Sara's all-seeing nurse's eyes.   

“Bad timing, buddy,” he said sympathetically.  “I'm sorry you're going to miss out on the day.  It should be a lot of fun.” 

Daniel felt like a worm again.  “You and Charlie will still have fun,” he said hopefully. 

Jack grinned and nodded.  “Oh, yeah, but we'll miss you.” 

Would they?  Daniel doubted it.  True or not, it was a nice thing for Jack to say.  He tried to think of something nice to say in return.  Maybe he could... hmm.  Should he wish Jack a happy father's day? 

Daniel opened his mouth to say the words but nothing came out.  No, he couldn't say them.  Not to someone who wasn't his father. Maybe he should say it as a general wish, after all, Jack was a father. Just not his own father. But what if Jack mistook his meaning and forced him to explain? The sentiment wasn't worth the risk. He closed his mouth and let out a heavy sigh after Jack left the room.  No good wishes and no gift. He probably seemed like the most ungrateful foster kid on the planet.  

After thinking about it until he had given himself a headache, Daniel had decided against the gift. He had come close. After his talk with Charlie he had spotted a fishing calendar in the drug store up the street. Jack often complained that his office at work was boring and needed to be spruced up. Daniel happened to agree and the colorful fishing pictures would certainly have done the trick.    

Then again, Daniel hadn't given Sara a gift and they might think it presumptuous of him. Now as he lay on his bed and listened to the activity outside his room, he wished he had.  Not a Father's Day gift, of course, but a thank-you gift would have worked nicely.  He couldn't escape the feeling that maybe Jack was expecting something. If he had been thinking logically, he could have bought the fishing calendar as a back-up, just in case. He wouldn't have had to give it to Jack, but he would have had it for safe keeping, to use if he changed his mind. But he hadn't been thinking clearly and now he had no option but to go through with his original plan of completely ignoring the significance of the day.   

After breakfast, there was a flurry of activity as Jack and Charlie prepared to leave.  Daniel's door was open at Sara's insistence, and he heard her talking to Jack in the hall.   

"You guys have a great time.  Why don't you stop and pick up some dinner on the way home?”  

“Great idea,” Jack agreed. "What are you in the mood for?" 

"It's your day, honey, you pick." 

"Right," Jack replied and Daniel heard the smack of a hearty kiss, and Sara's laugh. 

Not long after that, Jack and Charlie went racing out the front door and the house quieted. 

Daniel would have rather stayed home alone but this was the next best thing. Maybe Sara didn't feel like celebrating either.  After all, it hadn't been very long since her dad's death.  She was probably used to celebrating Father's Day with him as well as with Jack.  A twinge of sympathetic pain twisted Daniel's heart.  Maybe it would be a good idea not to bother Sara. She didn't need to worry about taking care of him. Besides, his ankle was already feeling better. 

Before he had a chance to hide in one of his books Sara appeared at his door. "I'm making Jack's favorite cake. Want to help?" 

"Sure," Daniel agreed after a moment's hesitation. He'd rather be reading but maybe it would be better for Sara if he kept her company. He also owed her an apology. 

With Sara hovering close behind him, he limped down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she insisted he sit down at the table and put his foot up on one of the chairs.  Much to his embarrassment, she even put a pillow on the chair to cushion his foot. Then she took a large mixing bowl down from the cupboard and set it down on the counter. 

He figured now would be a good time to apologize.  "I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Charlie's game." 

"It's fine, Daniel.” She smiled.  “Don't worry, Jack will cheer loud enough for the both of us. I'd rather stay home with you and make the cake."  

That didn't seem likely. She must be really sad. "Do you miss your dad?" he asked tentatively, while Sara pulled ingredients from the pantry and began to measure and mix. 

Her busy hands stilled and she looked away for a minute.  "Yes, I do.  Very much. But we had lots of Father's Days together.  What about you?  Did you celebrate Father's Day in Egypt?" 

Daniel shook his head. He didn't want to think about his dad today, not on Father's Day.  It hurt too much.  Then he remembered that Sara was probably hurting even worse.  He wished he knew how to help.  That gave him an idea.  

No one ever wanted to talk about his parents. He noticed that no one talked about Sara's dad either.  It seemed like everybody wanted to forget, but despite adults' well-meaning silence, Daniel secretly, fervently guarded his parents' memory. Maybe Sara felt the same way. He decided to ask her the questions he wished people would ask him.  

"Sara, what was your favorite thing about your dad?" 

She stopped mixing and turned to him with a surprised smile. She took a minute before answering. "Dad always had to be doing things. He wasn't one to sit around. Kind of like Jack, I suppose." 

As Daniel suspected, once Sara started talking about Mike she didn't seem to want to stop.   

"I was an only child so he taught me how to fix cars and play baseball. I cut the lawn in the summer and shoveled the driveway in the winter. I even helped him remodel the basement. He taught me how to put in wiring and hang drywall." She chuckled at the memory and resumed cracking eggs into the mixing bowl.   

"Jack must like that," Daniel blurted out before he could stop himself.  

Sara laughed out loud. "Oh, trust me, those days are long gone. If Jack wants drywall hung or the driveway plowed he does it himself or he hires someone. Working full time and taking care of my boys is enough work for any woman."  

My boys?  Did the phrase include him? The words startled Daniel so much that it took him a minute to remember what he had been about to say.  

"Good memories though, huh, Sara?" 

Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Sara had seemed happy when she was reminiscing but now she looked as if she might cry. That must be why adults avoided talking about loved ones after they were gone. 

Just when he was really beginning to worry she brightened. "Very good memories,” she acknowledged, then added softly, “What I remember most is that Dad was a patient teacher. But enough about me, what about you, Daniel?  Tell me what your father was like."  

A patient teacher.  

The familiar lump sprung up in Daniel's throat as he fought down the emotions. He had wished someone would ask, but now that they had, it was difficult to give a thoughtful answer.  

Sara stopped her mixing to smile and squeeze his shoulder in a supportive, 'take your time' gesture.  Daniel forced a return smile and considered his father's best attributes. There were so many to choose from.  

"He saw the good in everyone," he finally settled on.   

"What a wonderful thing to remember," Sara commented.  

Daniel nodded. "He did say that in some people you may have to look closer than in others but everyone has good in them. He's right, too."  

Sara nodded her agreement. 

"And..." Daniel started then stopped mid-thought. 

"What is it?" Sara encouraged as she continued working on Jack's cake.   

"My dad was a patient teacher, too," he finally said softly. A tear leaked out after Sara turned to rummage through the fridge to pull out what appeared to be sour cream. He quickly wiped it away, thankful she hadn't noticed.      

"What kind of things did he teach you?" she asked, a second too late to see the fat tear. 

"He taught me all about archaeology and languages and ancient civilizations. And he let me do things by myself. Even though I was just a kid. I had my own archaeology tools..." The excitement drained away and his voice trailed off. "I wonder what happened to them."   

Sara gave a small, regretful shake of her head.  “I wish I knew,” she said softly.  

"Maybe,” he said hesitantly, trying to find the silver lining his mother had often talked about, “a boy who never would have been able to afford archaeology tools found them and he's learning how to use them and he's making major discoveries, right now." 

Sara smiled and Daniel realized how stupid that must have sounded. "Probably not," he revised, his cheeks pinking with embarrassment.   

"Why not?" she demanded. "The tools were special. You said so yourself, so it only stands to reason someone special would find them." 

It made sense when Sara worded it that way.  

"What else did he teach you?" she asked, her soft voice soothing his pain.  

Daniel might only be ten years old but he wasn't stupid.  He recognized the questions were a ploy to get him to open up and talk but he didn't care. After holding everything in for so long, it felt good to share and he didn't want to stop. Sara was a good listener. 

"Dad taught me how to read and write the..." Oops, not the snake code, that was double, triple, top secret, even to Sara... "hieroglyphics. Mom taught me, too." 

"Wow, that's impressive. I don't believe I've ever met anyone who could read and write hieroglyphics. Not that Jack doesn't surprise me at times, I was shocked when I discovered he could speak Arabic, but I doubt he would know hieroglyphics..." 

Daniel shook his head.  "Jack definitely can't read or write hieroglyphics."  

Sara laughed. "Is there anything else?" she asked as she liberally coated the cake pans with a non-stick spray.  

There was one more thing. Daniel wasn't sure if he could say it out loud but he wanted to say it. Just once. To tell someone that at one time he had been loved, with the warm, all-encompassing love of a real family.  Once, he had been the center of someone's universe, loved with the kind of love that surpasses all understanding. The kind of love Jack and Sara had for Charlie and for each other. He needed to say it, not for Sara's sake, but for his own, to affirm himself and his very existence.  

"What is it?" she coaxed. 

"My dad loved me."  His voice trailed off to a whisper. "My mom did, too," he added before his courage faltered.  

"Oh, honey, of course they did." In an instant Sara was at his side, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. "And I love you, too, Daniel Jackson," she whispered as she squeezed.  

He blinked back his tears, marveling at her words. She had said it before, but once could be written off as a one-time, sentimental, in the heat of the moment type thing. But twice, twice had to mean something, didn't it?  Maybe, maybe not.  He had no idea how love fit into the world of foster care. It hadn't come up before.   

Instead of being embarrassed, Daniel smiled. The talk, the tight hug, and the 'I love you' felt pretty terrific. Even after she returned to her cake-making, the warmth of her hug and of her words lingered. To add to the moment, Sara seemed happier, too.  He'd been right about cheering her up by talking about her dad. 

He took a few minutes to savor the 'I love you' before focusing on the cake batter. It was fascinating. He hadn't been aware that people in America made cakes without buying the mixes at the store. Sara was certainly plopping in some strange ingredients. 

"Sara, what are you doing?" he asked, leaning in to get a better look. 

"What?" she asked in confusion.  

"You're putting sour cream and pudding in the cake?" Daniel's eyes widened in amazement. 

"Yes," Sara chuckled. "Jack likes moist, heavy cake. It's not very healthy," she confessed. "I only indulge him on special occasions." 

Daniel's enthusiasm waned. He had forgotten about Jack. Now he really wished he had bought some type of gift, or a card, or that calendar. A thought came to him. It wasn't too late. If he didn't give Jack the gift on Father's Day, he could show his appreciation without making a fuss, or more importantly, without making any false assumptions. It might work out even better.  

After the cake was in the oven, Sara turned to the icing, whipping it together with swift strokes.  "Taste," she ordered, handing him a spoonful of the first attempt. "What do you think? More chocolate?"  

"Yep, I think it needs more. And then I'll have to test it again for you," he joked hesitantly.  

"You have a deal," Sara laughed heartily.   

From his sitting position, Daniel could peer over the counter and watch what she was doing.  After some experimenting, the two of them pronounced the icing 'perfect' just as the timer dinged on the stove.  Sara pulled on a couple of oven mitts and carefully removed the freshly baked cake.  Daniel inhaled deeply, relishing the just-baked aroma. 

“It smells great,” he said. 

Sara chuckled.  “Thank you, sir.”  She set the layers on the wire racks to cool. “They should be ready for the icing in a little while.  You want to help?” 

“Sure,” Daniel eagerly agreed. 

“Good.  Meanwhile...”  She extracted the beaters from the mixer and gave one to Daniel.  “The rewards of baking,” she said with another laugh. 

Daniel licked happily at the chocolate icing that coated his beater.  He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this good. 

“Daniel,” Sara said, her tone questioning. 

He looked up to see her studying him with serious eyes.  In an instant his sense of happiness fled.  What was wrong?  What had he done?   

“I realized the other night,” she went on quietly, “that I never told you how much I admired the way you behaved that day those boys attacked you and Charlie.” 

Daniel stared at her in dumb amazement.  What?  His first thought had been relief that Sara's solemnity wasn't because of anything he'd done, his second thought was confusion.  Why was she bringing this up now?  To tell him she admired the way he'd behaved?  Huh? 

“Um...” he started, then stopped because he had no idea what to say. 

“I should have talked to you about it when it happened,” she continued, as if reading his mind.  “But so much was happening, it was very confusing for a few days.” 

Confusing? Daniel certainly agreed with that.  Whenever he thought back to that terrifying and exhausting encounter with Tommy and his buddies, confusion reigned.  After he and Charlie had executed their plan and made their escape, Charlie and Spencer had spent most of the walk home considering various ways they might avoid being grilled by concerned parents.  Daniel had listened but kept quiet.  As far as he was concerned, there was no way to hide what had happened from Jack and Sara, not with Charlie's face turning interesting shades of black and blue and every color in-between. 

As it happened, they didn't have to say anything. 

After Charlie had told Daniel the story about hitching a ride on a truck that turned out to be driven by Sergeant Siler, Daniel figured Charlie had the worst luck of any kid he'd ever known.  He changed his mind when he found out what had happened to Tommy that day. 

With the help of his disheartened cohorts, Tommy had finally made his way out of the woods and back out to the sidewalk.  He'd been soaking wet, thanks to falling into the creek. He was also limping, and covered with scratches and bruises.  The other boys hadn't been in much better shape. 

So who had come driving by just when Tommy reached the sidewalk?  A police car.  From the story Daniel heard later, the officers barely had time to get out of their car before the redheaded boy Tommy had knocked down burst into tears and spilled the beans.  All the beans. 

For once, Charlie and Daniel had made it home before Sara.  She arrived shortly afterwards, followed almost immediately by Jack.  He barely had time to walk into the house before a knock on the door heralded the arrival of the police. 

Remembering the widespread consternation of that moment, Daniel fell back on Sara's description.  Definitely a confusing time. 

Several hours later, after they'd gone to bed that night, something had nagged at Daniel, keeping him awake.  He had tried to shove it aside, promising himself he'd bring it up in the morning, but after tossing and turning, he had finally gotten out of bed.  To his relief, the light was still on under Jack and Sara's bedroom door so he knocked. 

“Come in,” Sara called. 

Daniel complied.  As he stepped into the room Jack was coming out of the bathroom.  When he saw Daniel, his eyebrows rose.  

“What's up, buddy?” 

Sara was standing in front of the dresser, folding a shirt.  She set it down and turned to him as well, smiling. 

For a minute Daniel just looked at them.  They'd been so great about everything, not just the police showing up at their front door but all the rest of it, the extended brawl with Tommy, Charlie getting whacked in the face by a tree branch, and their ruined shoes.  Daniel hadn't even noticed his shoes until Sara brought it up.  But she'd been great about it, about all of it.  Just like Jack. 

He realized he'd been silent for too long when Sara took a few steps toward him, her smile changing to an expression of concern. 

“Daniel, honey?” she said.  “What's wrong?” 

Daniel had never figured out how something could hurt yet feel good at the same time, but that simple little endearment hit him hard both ways.  For a terrible second he thought he wouldn't be able to swallow his tears.  But he coughed hard and swallowed harder.

“It's about Tommy,” he blurted out.  

Sara looked at Jack who was watching Daniel.  “What about Tommy?” Jack asked, in a quiet, matter-of-fact voice that calmed Daniel.  

“I was wondering...”  He darted an uncertain look from one adult to the other, but his eyes were drawn inexorably back to Jack.  Jack looked relaxed, like he had all the time in the world.  Daniel felt better just looking at the man and started over. 

“I heard that Tommy flunked sixth grade last year and might flunk again this year - ” Not for anything would he reveal that Charlie had provided him with that bit of information. “And I was wondering if maybe he had, um, some kind of problem...” 

He hesitated again.  It was only a thought with nothing to support it.  Was he being silly?  Worse, was he being presumptuous?  He hadn't been with the O'Neills very long, he didn't really know anything about Tommy except that the boy liked to give other kids a hard time... 

“What is it?” Jack questioned, his voice so calm and reassuring that Daniel wished he could lean against the man and draw some strength from him. 

Even if it was silly and he was being presumptuous, he had to say what he'd come to say. Daniel took a deep breath and continued. 

“I was wondering if Tommy might have some kind of learning disability. Maybe that's why... he's the way he is.” 

Jack and Sara had traded long looks and Daniel suddenly regretted that he hadn't stayed in bed. 

“I'm sorry,” he said quickly.  “I probably shouldn't have said anything.  I'm sure his parents or the school must've, well, if he has some kind of problem like that, they probably already know about it.  I should've kept my mouth shut.  I don't want to cause any trouble or - ” 

“Daniel.” 

There was still no impatience or irritation in Jack's voice but Daniel immediately closed his mouth, so fast that he almost bit his tongue.  He eyed Jack doubtfully until he realized Jack was smiling.  So was Sara.  Warm smiles, approving smiles. 

“You may be on to something, kiddo,” Jack said.  “I don't know if Tommy's parents or the school have ever checked that out, but I'm going to make sure they do.” 

“You have a wonderful, caring heart, Daniel.” 

Sara's voice broke into the memory and Daniel started in surprise, blinking as he looked around.  He was in the kitchen, surrounded by the wonderful aroma of just-baked cake, and Sara was standing by the counter watching him, just like she had that night. Daniel felt himself blushing painfully again. 

“Sorry,” he managed weakly, wishing he could crawl away and hide.  “I was, uh...” 

“Remembering?” Sara said with a smile. 

Daniel relaxed.  She wasn't bothered that he'd been distracted.  He gave her a shy nod. 

“That's understandable.”  She laughed softly.  “It was an insane day, though Jack and I didn't realize how insane it had been for you until the police showed up at our front door.  But I meant what I said.” 

Uh-oh.  What had she just said?  Daniel had been so deep in thought that he couldn't remember. 

She laughed again and put her hand over his.  “You have a wonderful, caring heart, Daniel Jackson.  That's just one of the many reasons why we love you.” 

That was twice in one day!  No, wait a minute.  Daniel stared at her, slack-jawed.  Sara had said 'we'.  She couldn't mean... there was no way... 

Don't, Daniel. 

The harsh voice of reason, of two years worth of experience, broke through his haze of shock.  Sara meant well but she didn't, she couldn't... what she was saying... it couldn't mean... 

No, said that cold voice of reason.  No, it couldn't. 

For a moment Daniel wavered, ready to draw back into that dark and lonely but familiar - and therefore safe - cave deep in his heart until Sara squeezed his hand. 

“How's your beater?” She held up her own that had been licked sparkling clean. 

A snort of laughter escaped him and with sudden determination, Daniel mentally slammed shut that cave door.  No, he wouldn't hide in there today.  Today, he was going to enjoy himself with Sara and Jack and Charlie. 

“It tastes great,” he answered happily, swirling the chocolate off of his beater and into his mouth. 

"Well, this turned out to be a fun day despite its crazy beginning," Sara declared, winking at him." She rinsed her hands under the faucet and glanced out the kitchen window.  "It's a beautiful summer day outside, too.” 

Before Daniel had a chance to agree she winked at him and added, “I don't know who said it, but I've always agreed with the idea that summer is like poetry.” 

Daniel was caught off-guard and for a moment pain clenched his heart.  He kept his head down so Sara would think he was still looking at his beater.  After a minute the pressure began to ease and it was safe to speak. 

“A summer sky,” he corrected. 

“What?” 

“‛To see the summer sky is poetry,'” he quoted, pleased at the calmness of his voice.  “It's from one of Emily Dickinson's poems.” 

“I didn't know you liked poetry!” Sara eyed him with bright interest.   

“My mom did.” Daniel swallowed and tried for a casual shrug.   

Sara's eyes softened and Daniel looked down at his beater again, not wanting to see the sympathy in her eyes.  The words to the poem had come out of nowhere.  He wondered how many of the poems his mother had read aloud, lulling him to sleep on those warm desert evenings, still lingered in his memory.   

Though it hurt, a part of him hoped the poems were still there, buried inside.  It would be a way to keep his mom close to him. 

But not now.  It hurt too much to remember something his mother had loved so deeply.  Maybe when he was older.  Maybe then he could remember... just the love.  Not the pain.  Maybe. 

With a tremendous effort, Daniel turned away from the aching memories and gave Sara what felt like a pretty good smile. 

“So when can we put the frosting on the cake?” 

“Not until it cools.  How about helping me clean up?” Sara's eyes were still soft but he was relieved when she laughed.   

“Sure,” Daniel said quickly, pleased that the subject had been firmly changed.   
 

Chapter 14  
 

A few hours later, Daniel was resting contentedly on the couch with his nose in a book while Sara paid bills on the Internet. The unusual cake with the delicious chocolate icing stood ready and waiting on the counter with its freshly-baked aroma still filling the house. Daniel was enjoying the peaceful Sunday afternoon quiet when the house roared to life as Jack and Charlie stormed in with their usual flair. Sara turned off the computer to give the guys her full attention.  

"Mom, I had two hits and we won the game!" Charlie was in the room in a second. He plopped down on the brown swivel chair and proceeded to excitedly go over the details of his team's narrow victory.  

Daniel was usually lost after Charlie divulged the score and recapped his personal performance and he had often wondered if Sara was too. After their talk today he realized Sara understood Charlie's entire summary. Her father had taught her all about baseball. How lucky for Charlie. Secretly, Daniel had recently taken a book out of the library on the rules and strategy of the game and hoped one day he'd be able to join in. For now, he did his best to follow Charlie's rundown and show some enthusiasm by intermittently nodding while Sara had no problem asking all the right questions. Jack hung back, sporting two bags of take-out and a proud grin.  

Daniel was relieved Charlie's team had won and all had gone well. After last week's game Charlie had come home and ran upstairs to his room with Jack trailing after him and not looking very happy. Daniel wasn't being nosy, but Jack wasn't exactly being quiet as he followed Charlie into his room and reamed him out for throwing his bat after striking out. Daniel had been surprised to learn that Charlie's team had won that game, but Charlie had apparently gotten frustrated at striking out and had thrown the bat. Jack had insisted Charlie apologize to his coach for poor sportsmanship and a bad attitude.  

Daniel knew Jack well enough to know that he wasn't a fan of bad attitudes and Charlie had certainly gotten an earful. Jack had also informed Charlie that if he couldn't play the game correctly he wouldn't play at all. With that threat, Charlie had agreed to apologize and promised Jack it wouldn't happen again. Apparently, it hadn't, at least not today.  

Personally, Daniel couldn't imagine getting upset over something as minor as striking out during a baseball game but apparently it was important to Charlie. Happily, there didn't appear to be anything to be upset about today. Charlie's team had won again and either Charlie hadn't struck out, or if he had, he hadn't thrown the bat because both he and Jack were extremely happy and excited.   

"Then we went ahead for good," Charlie explained. "In the last inning Tyler Larouche was up. He's their best hitter."  

"Hey, let's take this into the dining room. The food's getting cold," Jack interrupted, holding up two bags from Ling Ling's.  

Ling Ling's? Daniel couldn't help but smile. He had been expecting the usual pizza or Mexican, maybe a big, fat spicy beef and cheese burrito from El Charros; instead Jack had surprised them with Chinese. Ling Ling's was Sara's favorite take-out and Daniel recalled her mentioning just yesterday that she was in the mood for sweet and sour chicken.   

He caught the wink between the two adults as Jack pulled the pints of food out of the bags. Sara helped out by grabbing some plates from the cupboard.  

"It was the most exciting game of the season!" Charlie wrapped up his review in the nick of time. "I wish you could have been there, Mom. And you, too, Daniel."  

"Me, too, honey," Sara answered, kissing the top of Charlie's head while setting a plate in front of him. 

"Me, too," Daniel chirped, echoing Sara and looking at Charlie in wonder. Did Charlie really wish he had been there, or was he just saying that to be polite? Either way, Daniel was grateful to be included.  

After kissing Charlie's hair, Sara leaned over and gave Jack a loud smack on the cheek that prompted an "eeww, gross" from Charlie.  

"Ling Ling's?" Sara questioned. "Sweet and sour chicken, I'll bet. It's your day, Jack. You should have picked out something for you."  

"What? I was in the mood for Chinese," Jack insisted as he scooped some chow mein onto his plate.  

"If you say so."  Sara smiled as she sat down and eagerly opened up the white box to reveal the pint of sweet and sour chicken. Daniel watched, feeling almost as pleased as Sara.  The day was going far better than he had dared hoped.  

After everyone had eaten their fill, Daniel and Charlie cleaned up - though Daniel had to endure repeated warnings from Sara about being careful of his ankle - and loaded the dishwasher without being asked, which prompted Jack to joke that their actions were the best Father's Day gift any man could ever want. Charlie smirked and winked at Daniel, no doubt thinking about the model airplane.  

Once the kitchen had been cleaned up, they all gathered around the dining room table.  At the center, in the place of honor, was Jack's cake.  There were a few more oohs and aahs from Jack and Charlie, and then Jack reached for the knife. But Sara beat him to it. 

“Oh no you don't, Jack O'Neill," she laughed. "I'll cut the cake, into manageable pieces, thank you very much.” 

Jack and Charlie exchanged exaggerated disappointed looks and even Daniel couldn't resist joining in the laughter.  As soon as everyone had a piece in front of them, they dug in, and with his first bite Daniel found out why this cake was Jack's favorite. 

"Sara, this is the best cake I've ever tasted!" he enthused between bites. "I can't even taste the sour cream." 

"Oh, yeah!" Charlie agreed. "Mom makes great cakes." 

"That's why I married her," Jack added, practically inhaling his own piece and washing every bite down with a slug of milk. "It should be Father's Day every day," he declared. 

Sara snorted at that.  “I don't think so,” she sing-songed.  “I don't want a fat husband.” 

“Hey!” Jack exclaimed, dropping his fork with a clatter onto his plate.  “Who are you calling fat?” 

“No one,” she smiled sweetly.  “But I just might have to if it was Father's Day every day.” 

Charlie chortled, choked, then clapped his napkin over his face almost in time to keep the milk from spurting out of his nose.  Jack burst out laughing and pounded his son on the back while Sara leaned back in her chair, shaking her head and wiping the tears streaming from her eyes. 

Daniel laughed with them, refusing to pay heed to those depressing, discouraging thoughts trying to drag him back into that cold, lonely cave in his heart.  No, he told them defiantly.  Not today. 

After they had calmed down and Sara had rejected Jack's suggestion for seconds - “It's way too rich and you know it,” she said in her firm, no-nonsense nurse's voice - Jack sighed loudly in mock resignation. 

“If we can't have any more cake, then we need to get away from this table,” he declared.  Suiting his action to his words, he stood up and headed for the living room. 

"Come here, boys." Jack called them over to the sofa and patted the cushions to his left and right. 

Once away from the warmth and merriment of the dining room table, Daniel's brief assurance began to fade.  He moved slowly while Charlie raced over and plopped down immediately beside his father. Daniel was surprised when Charlie allowed Jack to pull him in for a long, hard hug.   

"Hurry up, slowpoke," Jack encouraged patting the empty cushion beside him. 

Daniel hesitantly sat down opposite of Charlie, leaving a respectable foot between him and Jack, but Jack was having none of it. He immediately pulled Daniel in for a close hug. Just like Charlie.  

"I want to thank both of my boys for a really great Father's Day." With that Jack planted a kiss in Charlie's hair, and then, miraculously, did the same in Daniels'. Jack had never kissed him before and for a second Daniel closed his eyes and tried to imagine that the special moment was real, that he was part of a family that would last forever. He hadn't felt so warm and safe in a long, long time. Over two years, if anyone was counting.     

"It's not over yet, Dad. Wait right here." Charlie broke the magical moment by bolting up to his room. 

Daniel sat up straight. In an instant all of his doubts came flooding back. What the heck was he doing?  What had he been thinking?  For a few minutes he had dared to imagine... what?  That he actually belonged here, in this family.  How stupid was that?   

The truth was he was a foster kid and nothing lasted forever. He quickly wiggled away from the security of Jack's warmth.  It didn't pay to get too close. It never paid.  It only hurt worse in the end. It didn't mean anything that Jack had kissed him. Jack had kissed Charlie and he wouldn't want Daniel to feel left out, so he had included him. Jack was a nice guy. That's all it was. 

A much more subdued Charlie came down the stairs carrying a sloppily wrapped box. This time, he sat down gently on the couch beside Jack, mindful of the package he was holding.   

"Here's your Father's Day gift, Dad," he said, solemnly handing the box over to Jack. "Be careful opening it."  

Jack smiled and heeded Charlie's warning by slowly unwrapping the fragile gift.  

"Oh, Charlie! Did you build this by yourself?" Jack examined the model jet closely, as Charlie hesitantly nodded and pointed out the more delicate pieces and possible flaws.  

Daniel's eyes momentarily blurred as he watched the exchange. He had a ton of ideas of what he could have made for his own father had he known about the special day when his dad was alive. 

As a matter of fact, one idea in particular had troubled his dreams.  He hadn't slept much since Charlie had reminded him that Father's Day was coming up. Instead, Daniel's thoughts had returned to that last happy month he had spent with his parents in Egypt. 

Just weeks before the family flew to New York, their excavations had uncovered what his father thought was some kind of library.  The room had been filled with papyri that had not only been written in standard hieroglyphics but in hieratic and demotic as well.   

Even now, he vividly recalled his father's vocal frustration to his wife one night when Daniel was supposed to be sleeping. 

“I'm an excavator,” Mel Jackson proclaimed, “not a linguist.”   

From the sound of his voice, Daniel suspected he had been gritting his teeth.  It was a rare thing for his normally easy-going father to lose his temper and Daniel had listened in surprise. 

“You'll be able to translate it if you just take your time,” Claire Jackson said soothingly.  “And I'll help.” 

“Thanks,” he grumbled.  “But what I'd really like is a cheat sheet.  You know, like the 'Cliff Notes' we used in college?” 

“A cheat sheet for Egyptologists?” Claire burst out laughing. 

“That's it!” Mel exclaimed, joining in his wife's laughter.  “That would be perfect.” 

Their voices dropped then and Daniel had snuggled deeply into his blankets.  A cheat sheet, he thought drowsily.  He bet he could make one of those. 

If he could re-live that last month with his parents, he would have taken the time to create that Egyptologist's cheat sheet for his father.  He knew with all his heart that his father would have loved it. 

As he watched Jack and Charlie now, he recognized with painful certainty that Jack wouldn't be interested in an Egyptologist's cheat sheet, or in any of Daniel's other ideas.  It hit him hard that Jack wouldn't have a use for any of the special things he could have made. Despite Jack's physical closeness, Daniel suddenly felt small and alone. 

"Are you kidding me, Charlie? It's perfect. I couldn't have done a better job myself."  Jack was still studying the plane carefully, turning it this way and that.  

Blinking rapidly, Daniel watched Charlie beam under Jack's high praise. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his head of the past's painful memories. He was tired of questioning everything, of holding back, always afraid to be a part of anything.  Just for now, he'd like to go back to the way he had felt at the table.  He wished he could stop thinking so much and enjoy the moment.  

"Do you mind if I take this to work, buddy? It will certainly liven up my office." 

"Sure, Dad, if you want to," Charlie said proudly. 

Daniel had never seen Charlie snuggle with Jack like he was doing now. He had no idea why the sight made him want to cry.   

"Yeah, I want to. That way when I miss you I can look at the jet."  

"And maybe remember to get home on time," Sara chimed in.  

Charlie smiled happily. Daniel couldn't blame him, it was exactly the reaction Charlie had been hoping for. The gift had certainly been a huge success.  

Charlie O'Neill was the luckiest kid in the world.  

It was 9:30 by the time he and Charlie climbed into their respective beds. Despite Daniel's misgivings and intermittent sadness, Father's Day had turned out to be a wonderful day. A fun day. A day that he would always cherish. And if Jack had been expecting a gift from him, he certainly hadn't let on.  

Charlie had been in high spirits all day. Daniel couldn't blame him.  School was over, the summer stretched out before them, and Jack had raved about his Father's Day 'model jet' project. What more could a kid want?  

Things were far more complicated for Daniel. Whenever he stopped living in the moment, he worried about what would happen when this placement ended. There was no escaping the fact that each passing day, no matter how happy, was in reality one day closer to the end of his stay in the O'Neill household.  To make matters worse, he hadn't been doing a very good job of keeping the members of this family out of his heart.  The more time that passed, the more he dreaded the day when he would have to say goodbye.   
 

Chapter 15 
 

The following Friday, Daniel was happy to be tagging along with Jack to the Mountain. Visiting his scientist friends and working on the mysteries of the Stargate was always fun, but today he could also present Jack with his thank-you gift in private. He tapped his backpack for the tenth time to be sure the calendar and the card were secure.   

Everything had worked out perfectly. Yesterday, Charlie had decided he needed to buy one more pack of baseball cards in his never-ending quest for a Derek Jeter MVP card. Daniel had decided to go along to check out the calendar situation and thus put his plan into action by buying it, and a 'thank you' card, for Jack. Charlie had been so preoccupied rifling through the baseball cards that he hadn't even noticed the odd purchases.   

Daniel hadn't realized there was such a huge assortment of 'thank you' cards to choose from.  Thank you for your hospitality, thank you for your thoughtfulness, thank you for dog sitting, thank you for the gift, the list went on and on and on.   

He had finally decided on a plain one that simply stated 'Thank You' on the outside and 'for everything' on the inside. That should cover just about everything. Charlie had no luck with his baseball cards, but Daniel was satisfied he'd found the perfect card and gift and the best possible solution to make up for his ingratitude on Father's Day.  

He patted his backpack yet again and felt the outline of the fish calendar that was wrapped to the best of his ability. He'd give Jack the thank-you gift in the commissary where they usually ate lunch together. Nearly a week had passed since Father's Day so it should be safe to say thank you without all the hoopla and emotional fallout of that special day.  

They entered the Mountain together and parted company at the door to the science lab with the usual murmurings to 'have a good day' and 'call if you need anything.'  

Concentrating on the snake code was difficult because Daniel was anxiously watching the clock and worrying about Jack's reaction to his version of thank you. The day turned even more nerve-wracking when Jack called the lab to bow out of their customary lunchtime get-together because of too many meetings. It was disappointing but Daniel told himself it would be okay. He'd give Jack the thank-you gift in Jack's office at the end of the day. He didn't want to wait until they were home because Sara might make a big deal out of it and Charlie might not like him getting that much attention.  He really hoped Jack would like his surprise but the longer the afternoon dragged on the more Daniel fretted about Jack's reaction.  

By the time late afternoon rolled around, Daniel was in a state. He was sitting at the table in the lab, trying to translate the snake code on an unusual-looking amulet but his worry was making that even more difficult than usual. He was only vaguely aware of the two new scientists, Dr. Lee and Dr. Rothman, behind him working on something. 

"My money's on O'Neill."   

O'Neill? Daniel's ears perked up and he turned around. He had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he had no idea what the men were talking about. Whatever it was, Dr. Rothman's money was on Jack. 

"For what?" Daniel asked. He could help, he knew Jack better than any of them.  

"Earth to Daniel," Dr. Lee joked. "We were just running down the list of who we thought would be the first to go through the Stargate."  

"If we ever figure out how to open the blasted thing," Dr. Rothman added. "I'm betting on O'Neill because I think he's crazy enough to try anything. What do you think?"   

Jack?  Jack would step through the Stargate to places unknown? Why would he want to do that? What if something terrible happened? What would that do to Charlie? Jack should be thinking about Charlie. Charlie needed him. So did Sara. 

Daniel stared from one scientist to the other in growing dismay. The more he thought about it the more he had to agree with Dr. Rothman's assessment. Jack and Charlie were alike and he had no doubt Charlie would step through the Stargate without giving it a second thought. But Jack had responsibilities. And what would happen to Daniel if something happened to Jack? Daniel's face warmed with shame. Was he more worried about himself than Jack? Even if that were true, Jack still had Sara and Charlie to care for. What if his translations eventually helped open the Stargate and people were hurt or worse because of it?  What if Jack was hurt? He needed to do something to stop it. He needed to do something right now. He would tell General Hammond that it was all wrong. The translations were flawed. That he had made it all up.  

"Daniel, would you mind checking this?" It was Dr. Lee shoving a piece of paper under his nose. "Daniel? Are you all right?" 

"Not now, Dr. Lee. I don't have time." Daniel jumped down off of his chair and raced to the door.  

"Daniel!" He didn't stop when he heard Dr. Lee's startled voice call out to him. He dodged two Airmen coming down the corridor and ran straight to the elevators. He hitched a ride down with a familiar SF and made his way to General Hammond's office in record time, relieved to find that the General's aide was away from his desk, there was no one to stop him. He didn't even bother knocking, this was too important and he couldn't risk the General being too busy to see him.   

Only when he burst through the door did he pause to gulp and regroup. It was so quiet in there. General Hammond was working on some papers and seemed pretty surprised by his sudden appearance. Maybe he should have made an appointment. But he was here now...  

"General Hammond, I'm sorry to burst in but I have something important to tell you." 

"All right, son." The General laid his pen across his paperwork and gave Daniel his full attention. "What's the problem?" 

"It's the translations." Daniel looked down at the floor as his cheeks pinked. It wasn't easy to lie but he had to do it for Sara and for Charlie. "I'm not sure they're right. Maybe the gate isn't a transportation device at all. It might just be an interesting, ancient artifact." Daniel paused long enough to catch a glimpse of the General's confused expression but hurriedly continued before he lost his nerve. "I don't think the Air Force should waste millions of dollars on it."  Daniel couldn't meet the General's eyes so he focused on the carpet instead.  

"Why would you say that?" General Hammond asked kindly, looking more amused than angry. 

Daniel shrugged. What could he possibly say? 

"Daniel?" Hammond coaxed.  

This was a bad idea. He should have planned and practiced. He'd run in here half-cocked and now he had no idea how to convince the General of something he himself didn't believe to be true.  

To Daniel's horror, the General punched in a few numbers on his phone and he heard the words, "This is General Hammond. Colonel O'Neill, report to my office immediately" reverberate throughout the base.  

Maybe the General did believe him and he was angry. Some people didn't show their anger. Maybe he was calling Jack to take him home for all the 'lying' he had done.  

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and Jack appeared. "Sir..." his words trailed off as soon as he spotted Daniel.   

"Daniel. What are you doing here? Are you all right?"  

As always, the genuine concern struck Daniel in the heart. "I'm fine," he muttered in a barely audible whisper. 

"Colonel, Daniel seems to have some concerns about his translations. I'm neck deep in paperwork. I have a conference call with the President and Joint Chiefs in less than an hour." 

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry you were interrupted, General. Come on, Daniel." 

"It was no bother. Young man, you can express your thoughts to Colonel O'Neill and we'll meet again to go over them when I have more time. How's that sound?" 

"Fine, sir," Daniel mumbled at Jack's urging.  

Jack's hand rested firmly on Daniel's shoulder as they made their way down the winding corridors before ending up in Jack's office. Daniel had no idea if Jack was angry because he hadn't said anything, but they had walked at a rather brisk pace if that was any indication.    

When they reached Jack's office, he ushered Daniel inside and closed the door firmly behind them. "Have a seat." Jack sat down at his desk and pulled a chair up beside him so they would be sitting face to face.  

"Look at me please," Jack ordered after Daniel sat down. 

When he complied, Jack continued. "I'm not mad at you but I need to explain something that I should have explained a long time ago. In the Air Force, in all the military actually, there is a little thing we like to call the chain of command. Do you know what that is?" 

Daniel shook his head.  

"Words, please," Jack insisted. 

"No, sir," Daniel whispered. Jack had said he wasn't angry but even though he wasn't raising his voice, it still felt like he was.  

"Chain of command is how the military is set up. I know you're not in the Air Force but since you're working in the Mountain you need to follow the same procedures. You report to your immediate supervisor, which in this case is me, or Dr. Lee, or Captain Carter. You don't bypass us to talk directly with General Hammond. He's far too busy to worry about every little problem on the base. If everyone did that, he'd never get anything done. Do you understand?" 

Daniel nodded then quickly added, "yes" while Jack appeared to be carefully studying him. It was uncomfortable.  

"Well, okay, then. That's that." Jack clapped his hands together as if to end the serious tone of the conversation. "So, what is it that's so important?" 

"N-Nothing," Daniel squeaked out after a long, painful silence.  

Jack's fingers gently lifted his chin until their eyes met.  "We both know you wouldn't have bothered the General over nothing. He said you had some concerns over the translations. Why don't you tell me what this is all about?" 

There was no avoiding this discussion. Jack wasn't one to give up. Daniel had no choice but to come clean.  

"Jack?" 

"I'm listening."  

"Are you going to go through the Stargate?"  

Jack's eyes widened. "You figured out how to open the Stargate?" 

"No, not yet," Daniel said hastily. "I mean when we do." Since his feet didn't touch the floor when he sat back in the chair he gently kicked them back and forth for something to focus on. Something other than Jack.   

Jack visibly relaxed at the words. "I don't know.  It's not up to me.  It'll be up to General Hammond and his superiors.”  He studied him more closely.  “Do you think I should?"  

"No! You shouldn't. What if something bad happened to you? Sara and Charlie would be so sad. They'd really miss you. Sara just lost her dad and Charlie would feel sick all the time." Like I did when I lost my dad, he almost said, but caught himself. Daniel paused before adding, "And it would be all my fault."  The last words were uttered so softly he wasn't sure if Jack had heard them. He wasn't sure if he wanted them to be heard.   

But maybe he had because the man let out a heavy sigh before asking a very embarrassing question. "What about you, buddy, would you miss me?"  

Confused, Daniel wasn't sure how to answer. Of course, he would miss Jack but was he supposed to tell him that?  How did it all tie in with the Stargate and his foster child status?  

Unable to find his voice he nodded in the affirmative, and for once Jack had mercy and didn't make him speak up and say the words out loud.  

"Good," Jack smiled. "So, are the translations wrong or were you just worried about me?"  

"I guess I was just worried." Daniel stopped staring at his moving feet to look at Jack, relieved to see he was grinning. "Do you think you could explain it to General Hammond, Jack?"  

"Sure, I got ya covered. I know I've told you this before, kiddo, but you really do think too much." With the words, Jack made a fist and playfully rubbed the top of Daniel's head.   

Daniel allowed himself a giggle before spotting his backpack in the corner. "Jack," he said, feeling shy as he hopped down off the chair to retrieve it, "I have something for you." 

With the words he pulled out the somewhat bent and wrinkled calendar wrapped in sparkly blue fish paper. It looked pathetically meager in light of all that Jack had done for him.  

"A present!" Jack exclaimed rubbing his hands together. Maybe it looked better than he had thought because Jack certainly seemed enthused. "For me?"  

"Yep. Read the card first," Daniel instructed.  

Jack wasted no time opening the card and smiling broadly at the words while Daniel silently prayed he wouldn't ask for an explanation. His prayers were answered when Jack rifled his hand through Daniel's hair and started in on the gift.  

"It's just a calendar," Daniel quickly explained before Jack had a chance to see the gift and be disappointed.  

"Just a calendar?" Jack questioned, after he had finally managed to tear through all the tape and get a look at it. "Oh, it's not just a calendar." His eyebrows were raised to go along with his incredulous tone. "It's a fishing calendar. Very cool."  

To Daniel's delight, Jack took his time flipping through the months and viewing the photos.  

"It even has tips for catching different kinds of fish in different climates. Perfect. I need all the help I can get," Jack winked. "How about I hang it on the wall above the cabinet, just above Charlie's jet... if that's okay with you? That way I can think of my boys when I'm stuck in here going insane over paperwork."  

My boys?  Sara had said the same thing the day he had helped her with the cake.  Just as he had hesitated asking Sara then, Daniel didn't dare ask what exactly Jack meant by the words.  

"There. How's that?" Jack wasted no time centering the calendar over the cabinet and tacking it up on the wall, with Charlie's plane proudly displayed beneath.  

When Daniel nodded his approval Jack surprised him by pulling him in for a firm hug. For a brief second, he relaxed his head against Jack's chest and was overcome by the urge to tell Jack that he loved him because sometimes he felt like maybe he did.  

He stopped himself just in time. Why ruin a perfect moment with hopeless dreams and wishes? He worried too much. He thought too much. For once, he'd heed Jack's advice and enjoy the moment.  

Jack whispered 'thank you' in his ear before letting go. To Daniel's relief, he didn't mention Father's Day or expectations and that made it so much easier. 

"Well, it turned out to be a good day, huh, buddy?"  

Daniel nodded, smiling. Jack had a way of making bad days, even horrible days, turn into good ones.  

"I just have to run this report over to Finance and then we can blow this pop stand. You ready to go home?" 

Home. Daniel savored the word - even though he knew he shouldn't - before answering. "I'm ready, but I should probably call the lab and tell Dr. Lee I'm leaving. I kind of left in a hurry."  

Jack chuckled and dialed up the lab. "Dr. Lee, Daniel would like to speak to you." With that he handed Daniel the phone and motioned to the door.  

Without going into detail, Daniel explained his abrupt departure to Dr. Lee as best he could. The kind Doctor seemed far more concerned about when Daniel would be back at the Mountain than he did about the disappearing act. After hanging up the phone, Daniel walked over to the cabinet and stared at the calendar hanging on the wall and the model jet resting just to the side of it. 'My boys,' Jack had said.  

Daniel couldn't wait until this evening to record those words and the rest of the day's amazing events. In his journal, moments like these would last forever because written words didn't change, or die, or fade with time. Nothing really lasted forever except words, not words uttered, but words written and recorded and memorialized for all time. His parents had taught him the strength and power and unique longevity of the written word so he cherished them by recording the moments, big and small, and thus immortalized his most treasured memories. 

"You ready to go, buddy?" Jack was at the door, looking eager to leave. 

"Yep," Daniel agreed, grabbing his backpack and scooting out into the hallway, where he waited for Jack to turn out the lights and lock up.  

As they walked toward the elevators Jack slung a casual arm around Daniel's shoulders.  “How about we stop and get some dinner on the way home?” 

“Um...” Daniel hesitated, choosing his words carefully.  “We've already done that twice this week.” 

“Yep,” the man agreed cheerfully.  “Good stuff!” 

“Didn't Sara say...” Hmm, how to put this?  “I think Sara likes making dinner,” Daniel said diplomatically. 

“Well, yeah,” Jack nodded.  “But maybe she's really tired and doesn't want to cook tonight.” 

“You could always call and ask her,” Daniel suggested. 

Jack gave him a look of surprised approval.  “Great idea, kiddo.  Wonder why I didn't think of that.” 

Daniel looked down and tried not to smile.  He thought he knew the answer to that after living with the O'Neills for two months.  Jack, he'd observed, did all his thinking and planning before he took action.  Once he was ready to act... Daniel thought back to the movie they'd watched the other night, a movie set on a battleship during World War II.  That was it, the perfect metaphor for Jack.  Once Jack was ready to act, it was damn-the-torpedoes-full-speed-ahead time.  Whether going into battle or going after dinner, Jack was always Jack. 

He couldn't help snickering at the thought. 

“What?” Jack demanded as they stopped in front of the elevators. 

“Nothing,” Daniel said, fighting back more giggles. 

“Uh-huh.” Jack gave him a look of profound skepticism, then grinned and tousled his hair. 

The elevator doors opened and they stepped inside. “I'll call Sara when we get topside,” Jack decided. 

Daniel fought back another snicker and nodded, still feeling the warmth of Jack's hand in his hair.  But that was nothing to how warm he felt inside, after seeing how much Jack had liked the fish calendar.  After all his wondering and worrying, it seemed like he'd actually got the whole thank-you gift thing right.  He couldn't wait to record today's events in his journal. 
 

Chapter 16 
 

Damn it, anyway. 

Jack loved his wife more than he could say but that didn't mean he was always thrilled with her ideas.  He had to give her credit though, she had been really sneaky about this one, circling around it, dropping a hint here and another one there, and then distracting him with kisses and other fun stuff when he became suspicious.  

Maybe his Special Ops experience was rubbing off on her. 

He shuddered.  That had to be one of the scariest thoughts that had ever crossed his mind.  

“Damn it, anyway,” he thought again, this time out loud as he glanced around the momentarily empty kitchen. 

Had it only been last week when Sara finally came clean with what she'd been plotting?  Jack had immediately dug in his heels and refused to join in her merry plans.  Take Charlie to Cheyenne Mountain?  Allow his 'act-first-and-think-about-it-later-if-he-was-still-in-one-piece' son access to one of the most top-secret facilities in the country? 

That sounded like a bad idea on so many levels. 

After the initial surprise and knee-jerk refusal, Jack had eventually and reluctantly agreed that Sara's arguments made a lot of sense.  She claimed one of the biggest problems keeping Charlie and Daniel at arm's length was the fact that Jack regularly took Daniel to the Mountain - a place forbidden to Charlie.  It was no wonder, she said, that Charlie resented Daniel, a resentment made worse, according to Sara, because Charlie didn't understand why Daniel was accorded the special privilege.  For that matter, neither did she. 

Jack leaned back against the kitchen counter and sighed.  He understood their confusion but he couldn't help it.  He sure as hell couldn't offer any explanations.  It wasn't as if he could tell them about the Stargate and the snake code and clear it all up for them. Even though Sara had accurately guessed it had something to do with Daniel's language skills, she had no idea the language in question was nonexistent except for its appearance on a few extremely odd-looking artifacts.   

Though he understood her concerns, Jack still had major reservations about Sara's idea.  But his guilt had been growing since she sat him down last weekend and explained her reasons.  He loved his son and the thought that Charlie might feel second in his father's affection had finally sealed the deal. 

Guilt.  Always a great motivator. 

Jack rolled his eyes at the thought.  Even though he initially hadn't thought much of Sara's idea, in deference to his wife - and urged on by the strong dose of guilt - he had talked to Hammond and received permission to bring both boys to the facility. He'd give Charlie the public 'nickel' tour and then they'd have a picnic lunch outside.  

Sara had been pleased. Jack had prayed for rain.  

And today?  The weather was sunny and clear. There was no doubt whose prayers the man upstairs was answering these days.  

That explained why, despite a rare weekend off, on a beautiful early summer morning in Colorado Springs, he was packing up the truck and preparing to head off to Cheyenne Mountain.  

“Here it is.” Sara emerged from the pantry, waving an extra package of napkins that she stuck into the full cooler on the kitchen table. 

“There,” she said with a pleased smile.  “You're all set.” 

“Swell.” 

Her smile turned into a laugh and she patted his cheek.  “No growling today, Jack.  I expect you and the boys will have a great time.” 

Jack had never been good at resisting those sparkling blue eyes and he could feel his annoyance fading.   

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled but he knew his grumbles weren't up to their usual standard.  Sara, of course, saw right through him and kissed him soundly. 

“Thank you for doing this,” she murmured afterwards while still in his arms. 

“No fair,” he said, grinning despite himself.  She was attacking all his weak points and doing a damn good job of it.  Admit it, O'Neill, he thought.  You're toast. 

She gave him another quick kiss and drew away.  “I need to get moving, too.  I promised Donna I'd meet her at 10:00 so we can start decorating her house for Carol's baby shower.” 

Jack shuddered.  Sara laughed and gave his arm a light smack.  “Or would you rather do that and I'll take the boys up to Cheyenne Mountain?” she teased. 

“No way!”  He shivered more strongly.  “I'm liking your idea more every minute, hon.  Me, Charlie, Daniel, the Mountain... fun wow!” 

“You are such a wuss, O'Neill,” she snickered.   

When it came to baby shower, definitely.  “And proud of it,” he assured her before snatching up the cooler and escaping. 

On his way out to the truck, he paused in the hall and yelled up the stairs for the boys to get moving.  

“I want you both outside in two minutes!” he ordered. 

Before he reached the front door, Charlie came thundering down the stairs.  “I'm ready, Dad!” he proclaimed as he skidded to a halt in front of his father. 

“Good timing,” Jack returned, and handed him the cooler.  “Take this out to the truck.” 

“Got it!”  Charlie wrapped both arms around it and carefully carried it outside. 

Jack looked after him, a grin spreading across his face.  He had to admit Sara might be on to something... his son was definitely excited.  

New footsteps sounded on the stairs and when he looked up he saw Daniel descending, much more slowly than Charlie had.  Hmm, Daniel didn't seem nearly as enthralled by their plans for the day. Jack wasn't sure what was going on in the kid's mind, but then he rarely did.  Asking direct questions seldom worked.  Daniel was a master at verbal distraction. 

They didn't have time to go into it now.  Jack decided to keep an eye on the younger boy today. 

“Come on, kiddo,” he said, laying a light arm over the slim shoulders and guiding him out the door. 

When he paused to close the front door Daniel immediately slid away from him and hurried toward the truck.  Jack looked after him for a second, trying not to frown.  Two steps forward, one step back, he thought with a sigh.  Except sometimes it seemed like the other way around.  Hopefully, a day relaxing with the guys would be one of those steps forward. 

Charlie was already waiting in the truck, seatbelt fastened and the cooler resting on his lap.  Jack laughed at the sight. 

“Give me that, buddy,” he said.  “I'll put it in the back.” 

“Okay, good idea,” Charlie agreed. 

As Jack put the cooler into the back of the truck and made sure it wouldn't shift around, he thought about the gleam in Charlie's eyes.  There was no doubt about how excited his son was over this trip.  He was damn lucky.  How many kids Charlie's age would want to spend a Saturday with their dad at their dad's work? 

Maybe Sara had the right idea about this, after all.  Jack grinned as he opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. 

"Have fun, guys."  

Sara had come out to wish them well.  She stopped by the driver's side door and peered inside, giving them a little wave of her finger tips.  Both boys gave her the same kind of wave and Charlie burst into excited laughter.  Even Daniel smiled over that.  Hmm, Jack thought again, maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.  

When he met her gaze, Jack swore she was smirking at him.  Was that her 'I told you so' smirk?  Or was there something else behind it?  Even after fifteen years of marriage, he couldn't always tell.  She could be damn sneaky when she put her mind to it.  

"You, too.  Enjoy the baby shower." He smirked back and she leaned in the window and kissed him before they drove off.  

The drive was filled with Charlie's excited speculation about Cheyenne Mountain.  As Jack listened, it became increasingly obvious how much this day meant to his son.  Damn, Sara was right again.  Charlie had grown up knowing that most of his father's work in the military was classified.  His son had accepted that and learned not to ask questions.  That had worked fine, up until a couple of months ago when Daniel had joined their family and started accompanying Jack to that mysterious Mountain. 

Remorse filled Jack.  Damn it, he'd been so focused on the Mountain, Daniel's discoveries, West's departure, preparing for the change of command and helping Hammond settle in, that he hadn't had time to think about much else.  As much as he had grown to love Daniel, he had never intended to make Charlie feel like he'd been replaced.  Regardless of his feelings about today, he'd do his best to make sure Charlie had a good time.   

"Dad,” Charlie's excited voice broke into his thoughts. “Will I get to see your office?"  

"Yep." Jack was glad he had thought to get permission for that. He had the okay to show the boys around the general areas and the first eleven floors, the commissary, and his office. That was it, no exceptions. That was more than enough, he thought, sparing a grateful thought for his new commanding officer. General Hammond was definitely an understanding family man and Jack's respect for the man grew by leaps and bounds with each passing day.   

Despite official permission that included the commissary on the tour, Jack figured they'd skip that dubious pleasure.  Even without that, the tour was going to cover more than enough of the base for Charlie to get a good idea of his dad's 'work', which would hopefully help him not to feel so shut out of that part of Jack's life. As far as lunch was concerned, they would take the cooler Sara had packed and eat topside. That way, not only would they get a great meal but it'd be fun, too.  

The mountain road leading up to the complex grew more winding as they approached.  Giant evergreens marching up both sides of the road made it impossible to see anything but forest until they came around the last curve.  Immediately ahead was the heavily-guarded entrance and high fences, also heavily-guarded, that surrounded the base.  Behind and above the man-made portions of Cheyenne Mountain loomed the great mountain itself. 

"Wow, Dad, it's huge!" Charlie was wide-eyed as they approached the complex.  

"It is pretty impressive, isn't it?" Jack smiled. Charlie's enthusiasm was beginning to wear off on him. Even Daniel seemed to be perking up. 

Jack slowed down as they neared the outer gate. A fresh-faced Marine who looked vaguely familiar held up his hand and motioned them to a stop.  

"Who do you have with you today, Colonel?" he asked. "Oh, hi, Daniel," he added after leaning in to get a better look.  

“Hi, Sergeant,” Daniel said with a shy smile and a hesitant glance at his foster brother. 

"This is my son, Charlie," Jack said, surprised by a surge of pride as he handed over Charlie's day pass.  

The Sergeant nodded as he read it over carefully before stamping it. "Have fun, boys. Stay out of trouble," he winked.  

"From your lips to God's ears," Jack mumbled.  

He drove down the lot and swung the truck into his parking spot with practiced ease. 

“Dad,I see your name!" Charlie exclaimed. "This is your own parking spot, isn't it?” 

Jack laughed at Charlie's wonderment at the fact that he had his own parking space.  “Yep, what gave it away?” The sarcasm was as obvious as the block letters that spelled out 'Colonel J. O'Neill' but Charlie ignored it with the skill of long experience.   

As they exited the truck, Jack realized it was possible that Charlie didn't know he was second-in-command of the entire base.  Jack was pretty sure he hadn't mentioned it.  He had spent his entire adult life in the military, and for the most part, his work had been classified.  Silence was second nature to him.  Although he rarely thought about it, Jack remained tight-lipped about his work and he had been pleased to see that Daniel did as well.  

Daniel kept quiet during the drive up to the complex, content to let Charlie dominate the conversation with his father because he knew how much today meant to his foster brother.  For the first time in his life, Charlie was getting to see the part of Jack's life that had always been a mystery to him.  It was no wonder the older boy was so excited.  Daniel just wished that Jack hadn't insisted he come along.  It wasn't necessary.  Charlie would be happier to have his father to himself.  But Jack had been adamant, so Daniel had resigned himself to tagging along.  He was here, but that didn't mean he couldn't keep out of the way and leave Jack to Charlie. 

Daniel enjoyed watching Charlie's open-mouthed reaction as the junior O'Neill stood in front of the huge metal doors at the second checkpoint that opened up into the Mountain.  He remembered his own fear and trembling his first trip here. At least Charlie didn't have the added worry of Jack leaving him behind.  

"Good morning, Colonel. Hey, DJ, how's it going?"  

Daniel cringed at the greeting.  This was one of the reasons he hadn't wanted to come.  He didn't want Charlie being reminded that he was a regular at the base.  He threw a quick glance that way to see if the nickname bothered the 'real' kid.  

"Come on, Dad,” Charlie said obliviously, tugging on his father's arm.  “Let's go. I want to see your office."  

Daniel sighed with relief at the words. Apparently, nothing could dampen Charlie's enthusiasm today.  

Jack laughed.  "Hold your horses, kiddo. Sergeant Connelly has to make you a name tag and then we'll take the tour." Jack clipped on his credentials and Daniel did the same while they waited the few minutes it took for the Sergeant to whip up a tag for Charlie. 

Jack nudged a thank-you out of Charlie before leading the way down the tunnel to the final checkpoint. 

“Almost there,” he told the excited boy. 

“This is really secret, isn't it!” Charlie enthused. 

“Yep, it is.” 

Daniel listened to the exchange and hoped his face gave nothing away. Though he didn't know for sure, he suspected Charlie was going to get the same tour as the public. As smart as Charlie was, he'd figure that out sooner or later. Daniel hoped he wouldn't be too disappointed. 

They paused at the final checkpoint.  Charlie beamed at his father when Jack rested his hand on the scanner and the light turned green and proclaimed him authorized. Daniel couldn't help smiling at Charlie's expression.  He had almost forgotten how exciting it all really was. Jack was smiling, too, maybe he was thinking the same thing. For the first time, Daniel was glad he had come along.  It was fun having Charlie here and seeing everything fresh through his eyes. 

More than anything else, Daniel wished he could take Charlie down to Level 18 and show him the lab and talk with some of his scientist friends, but that was strictly off-limits. If they were lucky, maybe they'd run into Doctor Lee, or if they were really, really lucky, Captain Carter.  Aside from the Stargate, Daniel thought the cool artifacts were the most impressive part of the project, though he had to admit a kid like Charlie would probably be more impressed with the armory.  

"Dad, is Sergeant Connelly in the Air Force?" Charlie asked. 

"No, he's a jarhead," Daniel answered proudly before Jack had a chance.  

"That's what I thought," Charlie replied without hesitation. "His uniform looks like the Marines. I didn't know Marines worked here, too."  

Jack smiled but didn't comment.  

Daniel knew a lot of words but he was still confused by the 'jarhead' term.  Everyone else seemed to know what it meant so he'd always been too embarrassed to ask.  It sounded like Charlie knew. Charlie seemed to know an awful lot about the military. Did 'jarhead' just mean 'Marine'? It seemed like a silly nickname. He decided he'd ask Charlie if the opportunity came up. 

As they entered the elevator, Charlie was practically bouncing and Jack put a hand on the boy's shoulder. 

“The first four levels are mostly administration,” he said.  “We'll go through them pretty quickly.” 

“But they're still part of the complex, part of the base, right?” Charlie demanded. 

Daniel resisted a smile but Jack grinned and squeezed the shoulder he was still holding.  “That's right, this is all part of Cheyenne Mountain.” 

“So you're part of NORAD?” 

Jack blinked and Daniel looked down at his feet while fighting back a laugh.  The question confirmed what he'd been thinking earlier.  Charlie was plenty smart.  He knew NORAD was based in Cheyenne Mountain and he'd made the logical connection.  Obviously Jack hadn't been expecting this.  The look on his face had been so surprised - 

A snicker escaped Daniel despite his best efforts, and Jack's laser-like gaze focused in on him. 

“Something you want to share, buddy?” 

It was a relief to hear amusement in Jack's tone but Daniel didn't trust his voice so he merely shook his head. 

“Hmph,” Jack said as the elevator doors opened.  “Actually, Charlie, the Air Force works kind of side by side with NORAD here.” 

“Cool!” Charlie exclaimed. 

Jack took them around the boring upper levels but Daniel was pleased to see that Charlie didn't look bored. He was like Jack in that he wasn't afraid to converse and ask a lot of questions. No one seemed to mind. They all seemed to like Charlie. It was understandable. Charlie O'Neill was easy to like.  Daniel envied his foster brother that ability and wondered what it would be like to have practically everyone he met like him immediately. 

Daniel was happy to lag behind and indulge in one of his favorite habits of people-watching.  He observed some of the personnel acting a little nervous around Jack and they would occasionally defer to him with a look before answering Charlie's more insightful questions.  Daniel noted how good the man was at answering questions without giving away sensitive information.  

Daniel was especially pleased to see Charlie having a good time.  His foster brother's curiosity was as unquenchable as his questions, despite their less than exciting surroundings. The tour was turning out to be informative for Daniel, as well. This was the first time he had ever wandered around up here.  

"And this is Lilly, my favorite woman on the entire base." Jack beamed at the middle-aged, graying woman sitting at a desk practically buried under files and papers. 

Daniel had never met Lilly. He had never met most of the people on the tour but apparently Jack had. Jack knew a lot of people's names and everybody knew him.  Well of course everyone knew him.  Jack was second in command of the entire base. He wondered if Charlie knew how important his father really was.  Daniel would have liked to tell him but he figured if Jack wanted his son to know, he'd tell him himself.  

"Know why Lilly's one of my favorites?" Jack asked ominously.  

"Why?" Charlie answered, taking the bait.  

"She takes care of my paycheck."  

"You won't be getting a paycheck this week if you don't leave me to my work, Colonel," Lilly answered, feigning annoyance, but her smile gave her away. 

"Yes, ma'am." Jack snapped off a salute.   

Daniel watched in amusement as Lilly chuckled and Charlie rolled his eyes at his father's antics.   

Next they visited the storage rooms on the fourth and fifth floors where the food for the entire base was stored.  As they stood at the entrance of the vast storerooms, Charlie turned slowly in a circle and let out an appreciative whistle. 

“Whoa! You could put a whole city in here!” 

Daniel and Jack both laughed.  

“It may look like that, but it's not quite that big," Jack commented. "The base does store enough food in these rooms to feed everyone inside the mountain for up to three months in case of a lockdown.” 

“A lockdown?” Charlie demanded. 

While Jack explained what constituted a lockdown, Daniel listened with half an ear, his imagination alive with the thought of having to live underground for three months at a time. What if he was working when a lockdown occurred? He definitely wouldn't like that. He was fascinated with the facts Jack was relaying but he noticed Charlie seemed more concerned with the possible reasons for a lockdown and what type of weapons the armed guards were carrying. No surprise there, Daniel thought, squelching another smile. 

Charlie, and an increasingly interested Daniel, trailed after Jack as he led them down and through three additional levels consisting entirely of more massive storage areas which held equipment and supplies for the base.  Then came still more levels containing the internal power generation plant, the distribution grid for the base's entire electrical system, and the secondary air processing plant which, Jack explained, helped to draw air for the primary plant on the first level down into the lower levels of the facility. 

Nearly three hours after it had begun, Jack ushered them back into the elevator.  “Okay,” he announced, “that's it for the tour.  Time to go up top for lunch.”  

Daniel nodded absently, still amazed at how much he had learned today.  A few of the facts Jack had relayed remained particularly vivid in his mind. The water for the base was provided by a 4-reservoir with 1.5-million gallon capacity.  His mind boggled at the sheer size.  Then there was the way air was drawn from the surface and screened through a system of chemical/biological/radiological filters to remove harmful germs and/or radioactive and chemical particles. Not to mention Charlie's favorite fact - that base personnel could eat for three months without any outside supplies being delivered. Amazing stuff, all of it. 

Now that the tour was over Daniel felt a little overwhelmed.  He'd known Cheyenne Mountain was a top-secret military base but he'd had no idea what that actually entailed.  He hadn't expected the tour to be so enlightening.  

"Not yet,” Charlie predictably protested.  “I want to see your office, Dad."  

As fascinated as Daniel had been by the day-to-day running of the base, he felt bad for Charlie. Charlie didn't get to see any of the truly interesting top-secret stuff, the stuff that - if he knew about it - he would probably want to see the most.  Well, Charlie didn't know about it, not for sure.  But Daniel knew his foster brother was a good guesser.  

At least they still had Jack's office to look forward to and Charlie could see the model plane he'd built for Jack on display. That would probably make him happy.   

"Later," Jack answered decisively. "We'll do that later. Let's eat."   

"What about where Daniel works. Are we going to see that?" 

If only, Daniel thought.  

"Nope, sorry. There are people working there today."  

Daniel was glad Jack didn't bother saying the lab was classified. He was sure Charlie already knew that - why else would Daniel keep quiet about what he did here?  It was better not to emphasize the things Daniel had access to that Charlie didn't.  

For the first time, he noticed Charlie's enthusiasm fading. He couldn't blame him. All the really cool stuff was on the lower levels and Charlie was beginning to realize that.  His guilt growing, Daniel kept his eyes fixed on the elevator's digital display that indicated they were heading back up to the surface.  

"Does Daniel translate Arabic, Dad? Is that why it's top secret? I can't read that, anyway."  

Daniel was surprised by Charlie's directness and this time, Charlie didn't seem willing to let it go. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jack automatically glance around the empty elevator.  Daniel suspected he was glad no one else was around to hear Charlie's astute question.   

"Where did you hear that?" Jack asked evenly. 

Daniel's ears pinked, worried Jack might think he had blabbed. He hadn't. He had never told Charlie anything about his work at the Mountain. To Charlie's credit, he had never asked.  

Charlie shrugged. "It's the only thing I can think of. Daniel speaks Arabic and Mom said he's so smart he can read hieroglyphics. I don't think the Air Force would care about hieroglyphics so I thought maybe he's translating stuff, like intercepted terrorist conversations. Is that what he's doing, Dad?"  

Daniel couldn't resist glancing up.  The fresh excitement on Charlie's face made him wish he was doing that. Charlie would definitely respect that kind of work. Translating the snake code was just as exciting to Daniel but he was sure Charlie would find his work tedious and boring. Maybe it was just as well it was classified.   

"No, he's not,” Jack said in the same even tone.  But this time there was an edge to it.  “Remember what I told you about not talking about what I do and not asking questions? " He sounded like a Colonel for the first time all morning.  

"Yeah," Charlie answered quietly, the excitement draining from his expression.  

"The same applies to Daniel. Okay?" 

"Okay," Charlie agreed.   

Daniel cringed at Jack's words but Charlie seemed to take it in stride. If he was annoyed it didn't show.  

"Come on,” Jack said as the elevator doors opened. “Let's get some lunch.  There's a spot on the east side of the mountain that has a great view.  I had one of the Marines take the cooler up there so we should be all set. I brought the football, too, so we can toss it around. I always wanted to play football up there." 
 

Chapter 17 
 

They headed outside through a different door than the one they'd come in and walked for a few minutes.  The scenery changed quickly from concrete and barricades and armed soldiers to cool green forest, silent except for birdcalls. 

“Here we are.” 

Stretched out before them was a wide meadow, wide enough to allow the sun to fall down over it, unobstructed by the surrounding trees.  Northward, the trees fell away and they had a panoramic view of the scenery spread out below the mountain.  Daniel paused a minute to take in the peaceful surroundings and the view.  He inhaled deeply, relishing the smell of pine and grass warmed by the sun.  This is nice, Daniel thought.  He could understand why Jack had picked this spot. 

The cooler was there and so was the blanket and the football. Jack picked up the blanket and spread it out for the three of them to sit on.   

"What do you think of the place so far?" he asked as he opened the cooler and passed out some delicious-looking chicken salad sandwiches. Sara had also packed juice boxes and an assortment of potato chips and tortilla chips.  And, Daniel noted when he looked inside the cooler, there was a large plastic container with frosted sides so they couldn't see inside it - dessert? - and a large jug of water.  And plenty of napkins, paper plates, cups and plastic ware.  Sara had thought of everything. 

"It's pretty amazing,” Charlie said around a big bite of sandwich.  “I just wish I could see everything."  

"I know,” Jack acknowledged and ruffled his son's already tousled hair.  “But that's all I could get permission for. We still have my office and we can always swing by the commissary if you want.”  He made a face.  “If we do that, you'll be glad you already ate.  And who knows?  Maybe someday I can show you the rest." Jack threw Daniel a warm wink. 

Embarrassed, Daniel glanced away and saw something that caught his attention.  “Look,” he pointed at a large squirrel peeking out from behind a nearby boulder. 

Charlie immediately sat up.  “Let me,” he said eagerly, tearing off a small piece of bread and tossing it toward the animal. 

“You'll be sorry,” his father warned with a grin. 

The squirrel snatched up the bread and disappeared with a flick of its tail.  It reappeared almost immediately, and this time it was followed by two more.   

Seeing them, Daniel began to laugh. “Now you've done it, Charlie,” he said, feeling light-hearted for the first time all day. 

“We're being invaded,” Jack said, pointing in another direction.  Another squirrel was heading toward them.  “We don't have enough to feed the whole tribe,” he noted, his grin widening.  “Anyone have any ideas they want to share before we're buried under a whole mess of squirrels?” 

More squirrels were appearing, hurrying to join the chattering beggars beginning to encircle the trio.  Charlie burst out laughing. 

“Dad, do you think they take prisoners?” 

“I think they'll eat prisoners,” Jack chuckled.  “Come on, guys, think fast!” 

Daniel was also laughing as he peered into the basket.  He popped the top off the plastic container.  “There are three slices of chocolate cake in here,” he noted.  “And a jug of water.” 

“Not the cake!” Jack and Charlie yelled simultaneously, and they all laughed harder. 

In the end, they finished off the sandwiches, wolfed down the cake at breakneck speed, and then shoved the leftovers back into their plastic containers and zip locked the bags. Once there was no more scent of food in the vicinity, the squirrels quickly dispersed. Still grinning, Daniel watched them disappear.  He couldn't remember ever having this much fun just eating lunch. 

“Better,” Jack proclaimed, flopping back in the grass and patting his stomach.  “Ah, a three-hour nap sounds like a plan, right now.” 

“What about the football?” Charlie demanded.  “I thought we were going to throw it around?” 

Jack groaned theatrically, but Daniel noticed that he quickly jumped to his feet and he was wearing an expression of anticipation.   

“Since you insist,” Jack grinned at his son and scooped up the football.  “Go long!” 

Charlie jumped up and raced across the meadow, turning at just the right moment to catch the pass his father threw him.  Cheering loudly, he immediately flung the ball back and Jack had to run forward to catch it.  

"Daniel, come on." After a few tosses Jack called him over to join in.  

"I don't know how to play." Daniel waved them off, marveling at how easy it was to speak the truth about something he'd been hiding since moving in with the O'Neills. He was getting comfortable. Probably too comfortable.   

He didn't want to play football. He was happy to sit and enjoy the sunny day. This was a perfect example of why Daniel tried to live in the moment whenever he could. He wasn't at The Home or in a crappy foster care situation. Instead, he was sitting outside in a grassy meadow with Jack and Charlie and he wanted to savor every second. Not waste time throwing around a football.   

"You don't need to know anything, we're just playing catch. Come on, I'll teach you."  

Daniel's vision blurred unexpectedly at his foster father's casual treatment of his lack of athletic skills.  Jack wasn't bothered by his ignorance. The amazing realization made Daniel's day complete.  Now, if only Jack weren't so persistent. 

"Maybe later. I'm too full from lunch." Daniel patted his stomach for emphasis. There, that should do it. 

"Later then," Jack reluctantly agreed.  

Even though he didn't want to join in, Daniel enjoyed watching Jack and Charlie toss the ball around. They lazily threw the pigskin back and forth for a while until Charlie came up with the idea to throw the ball over each other's head and then try to dive to catch it like the players did on TV. To Daniel's amazement, Jack thought it was a great idea. Daniel couldn't help thinking Sara wouldn't approve.  Jack had a knee injury from a few years ago and every once in a while it acted up. Daniel had no doubt it would be acting up tomorrow or the day after from all the diving. He'd never tell Sara though, that wasn't up to him, but he wondered if Jack would. He doubted it, and couldn't help snickering at the thought. 

"Hi, Daniel." 

He jerked around at the familiar voice and there was Sam, her blue eyes bright and shining and her hair shimmering golden in the sunlight.  

"Hi, Sam!" he gushed, involuntarily blushing at the sight of her.  He started to get to his feet but she waved him back down and dropped to the grass beside him. 

"What's going on?" She shielded her eyes from the sun as she watched the O'Neills.  

"Jack's playing catch with Charlie," Daniel said, pointing out the obvious. "Charlie is Jack's real son."  

Sam stared at him a minute before answering. "I see. How come you're not playing?"  

"I didn't want to. Do you want to watch with me? There're still some cookies left.” He pointed at the other dessert that Charlie had thought to bring along without telling his mother.  When Jack discovered it, he had laughed and said it was a good idea. “Do you want one? Sara makes really good cookies."  

"Actually, I'd rather toss around the football."  

Really?  Daniel gazed at her in surprise.  She looked awfully fit - his cheeks felt strangely hot at the thought - but he had never imagined she liked playing sports.  Then again, he'd never seen her outside of the Mountain.  Sam was probably very athletic.  It seemed like practically every one in the world was athletic except him.  

Jack must have spotted Sam then because he waved to Charlie and they both jogged over.  

"Carter. What are you doing up here?"  

"Afternoon, sir,” she said jumping to her feet.  “I heard a rumor you were up here with your son and I wanted to check it out." Sam sounded eager but when she looked at Jack she seemed a little hesitant and Daniel guessed it was because he was her superior officer. The military was weird like that.    

Jack only grinned.  “What'd you have in mind?” 

“Well, if you wouldn't mind another player, I'm in.” 

Jack's eyebrows rose.  “You sure?” 

“Yes, sir!”  Sam immediately stripped down to her black tee shirt, her eyes shining in anticipation. Watching, Daniel had no doubt she wanted to get down and dirty.  

"Charlie, this is Captain Carter. Captain Carter, this is Charlie."  

"Hi, Charlie. Mind if I join in for a few minutes?"  

"It's fine with me," Charlie happily agreed.   

"What about you, Daniel?” She turned her blue eyes on him and Daniel was glad he was sitting down because his knees suddenly felt weak.  He decided to try the same excuse he'd used on Jack. 

“I ate too much for lunch,” he said, rubbing his stomach again.  “I'll just stay here and watch.” 

Sam eyed him for another long minute and Daniel felt uncomfortable until she smiled. 

“In that case, would you mind holding my radio and sunglasses?" She unhooked the radio from her belt and removed her shades.  

"Sure, I don't mind," Daniel enthused, happy for the chance to be of service. 

"Uh-hmm..." Jack cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.  "Charlie tell the Captain what we're playing."  

Charlie was happy to oblige. "We're throwing the football as far over our heads as we can and then trying to run under it, stretch out really far and catch it." 

"I hope it's not too rough for you, Carter," Jack said, eyeing her doubtfully. 

"Try me, sir."  

Sam sounded determined and Daniel silently cheered her on.  

Jack grinned and motioned with the ball for Sam to run out for a pass like Charlie had been doing. Daniel was delighted to see that she ran like the wind.   

“Go, Sam!” he heard himself shouting.  

Jack waited a few seconds to give her a head start and then threw the ball long.  Very long. Daniel held his breath as he watched.  It looked too long for Sam to make a play on. He was flabbergasted to see her pick up speed and then dive flat-out for the ball and make the catch.  

Both he and Charlie cheered wildly. "Wow, she's pretty good, isn't she, Dad?" Charlie said admiringly as Sam loped back with the ball.  

"Way to go, Captain," Charlie said in congratulations, offering his hand in a high five.   

Sam slapped it. “Thank you, Charlie. Nice pass, sir.”  She took a minute to catch her breath before adding, “Your turn, Colonel." 

"Whenever you're ready, Carter. If you need to rest a bit longer..." 

"I'm fine, sir. Are you ready?" 

Jack smirked.  “I was born ready, Captain."  

"Then go," Sam yelled and Jack took off running while Daniel and Charlie watched. 

Sam waited a few seconds and then winged the ball as far as she could while Jack sprinted to catch up to it.  

"He'll never get that one," Daniel observed.  

"He'll get it," Charlie said confidently.  

To Daniel's shock Charlie was right. Jack put on a last burst of speed and dove to make a spectacular catch. Daniel watched carefully when Jack jumped to his feet to see if he was limping after the amazing grab, but Jack seemed fine as he jogged back with the ball.  

"That was a great catch, sir."  

"Thank you, Carter," Jack grinned, sounding only a little out of breath. "It was nothing."  He winked at his son. "The old man's still got it, eh, buddy?"  

"That was great, Dad," Charlie agreed. 

"Your turn, kiddo."  

Charlie ran a pass pattern and made a nice catch as well although Daniel noticed that Jack didn't throw the ball as far as he had for Sam. The three of them took turns running and playing and throwing and catching and Daniel was content where he was, having a great time watching until Sam's radio went off.  

"Sam!" he yelled. This could be important. "Your radio's beeping." 

All three of them ran over while Sam talked into the radio and acknowledged a code ten. Daniel had no idea what that was but Jack knew because he said he'd go in with her and check it out. Charlie was exhilarated until Jack ordered them to stay where they were, promising to be back soon or he'd send a Marine up to get them.  

"But, Dad..." 

"Not now, Charlie," Jack cut him off sharply. "Stay put."  

"Sam, wait!" Daniel called after her as the two adults started back down the mountain. "Your shirt and sunglasses."  

Sam jogged back to retrieve them. "Thanks, Daniel," she smiled before running to catch up with the Colonel.  

When Daniel turned back, he was dismayed to see Charlie sitting on the blanket looking sullen.  

"I don't suppose you can tell me what a code ten is?" he asked.  

"I don't know what it is," Daniel replied honestly.  

"Sure you don't."  

Daniel recognized that particular phrase, when uttered the way Charlie had just uttered it, was sarcasm that meant the opposite of the words.  

"I really don't know," he repeated. 

Charlie eyed him doubtfully for a long minute before nodding.  He looked after his father and sighed.  "It's probably something really exciting and we're missing it all," he moaned.  

Daniel shrugged. Charlie's idea of exciting rarely matched his own. 

"Maybe if Jack sends someone to get us we'll see what's going on," he suggested, even though he knew that was highly unlikely.  

”Dad will probably make us sit in the car all day until it's over,” Charlie grumbled and Daniel had to admit that was the more likely scenario.  

"Want another cookie?" he offered in hopes of cheering up his adventurous foster brother.  

"Sure, why not?" Charlie nibbled his cookie and cast sideways looks at Daniel who wondered what the older boy was thinking.  Then he found out.  

"Daniel, why did you call Captain Carter, Sam?"  

"Oh,” he returned in mild surprise, “that's her name. Samantha Carter. I know her because sometimes she works with the scientists," Daniel added proudly.  

"Does Dad know you call her Sam?" 

"I guess he does," Daniel answered, confused at the question. "That's her name."  He thought a minute.  “And he's heard me call her Sam, so yes, he knows.” 

"He never lets me call adults by their first name,” Charlie said, and Daniel felt his heart sink at the note of resentment in his foster brother's voice.  “He hates when kids do that,” Charlie went on.  “I always have to call them mister or missus or Captain or Sergeant or whatever their rank is." Charlie looked him straight in the eye.  "Do you think that's fair?" 

Daniel paused before answering. He needed to get this right. He'd been having such a good time today; he really didn't want Charlie's jealousy to ruin things, especially for Charlie. 

After thinking it over, Daniel realized that he didn't call other adults by their first name. He would never consider calling Dr. Lee, 'Bill', or Dr. Rothman, 'Robert', or Sergeant Siler... he didn't even know Sergeant Siler's first name. It was just 'Sam' because they were close, they were friends, special friends, and Jack seemed okay with that. He doubted Charlie would understand.   

"I don't call any other adults by their first name," he said carefully. "Just Sam because she was nice to me when I first came here. She's the only one." 

Charlie looked as if he were going to say something more but then shrugged. "It's no big deal. Do you really know what a code ten is but you can't tell me?" 

"No, I really don't know." 

Daniel was relieved when Charlie nodded again, seeming happy with that. Unexpectedly, the older boy jumped to his feet and brushed at some of the grass still clinging to his jeans from the football toss.  

"It's boring sitting around.  Wanna go exploring?" he asked in a tone that let Daniel know he had already decided.  

Despite the determined tone, Daniel felt obligated to try and dissuade him. "Maybe we better not. Jack said to wait here.”  

"It could be hours," Charlie argued. "We won't go inside or do anything. I just want to walk around and get the lay of the land." 

The lay of the land? If that wasn't a Jack saying... 

"Come on, Daniel."  Charlie was smiling now and the O'Neill grin was impossible to ignore. 

"Okay, but let's not go too far in case your dad comes back." There was no point in resisting. Charlie was already moving.  Daniel decided he might as well go along. Maybe he could keep his foster brother out of trouble.  

Charlie nodded but Daniel doubted he'd heard a word.  

They'd only been wandering a few minutes when Charlie made a discovery. "Hey, Daniel, look over here. Blackberries!"   

By the time Daniel arrived at the patch, Charlie was already chewing.  "Try some," he offered.  

Daniel watched in horror as Charlie shoved a handful into his mouth. "You're eating them? What if they're poison?"  

"Poison? Why would they be poison? They're blackberries." Charlie laughed and picked a few more and held out his hand in an offering gesture.  

"No thanks," Daniel answered immediately.  

"Did anyone ever tell you, you worry too much?" Charlie asked, shaking his head and eating the rest of the berries himself.  

To be honest, no one ever had... until Jack. And now Charlie. Well, if you asked him, Jack and Charlie didn't worry enough.  

When the berries were gone, Charlie clutched at his throat and squealed, "Help me, help me, Daniel, I'm dying!" as he fell dramatically backwards on to the ground.  

Daniel couldn't help laughing. He knew Charlie wasn't mocking him, he was just being silly. Charlie lay still on the ground for about ten seconds, which might have been a new record for him being still, before jumping up and looking around in every direction.  

"Maybe we should get back," Daniel suggested. “If we stray too far we might not be able to find the blanket.”  Not to mention if Jack returned and they weren't where he'd left them, he wouldn't be happy.   

"Don't worry about that,” Charlie said airily, “I never get lost. The blanket is that way." He pointed in the correct direction and continued on the opposite way.  Daniel sighed to himself and followed. 

They walked a few more minutes and as far as Daniel could see, there was nothing of interest besides trees and grass. Even Charlie was getting bored. 

“Okay,” he finally said as he gave a last disparaging look around, “I guess we should head back - hey, wait, what's that?"  

Now what? Daniel wondered.  

He hurried over to see what Charlie was pointing at. It was a door - a hatch, he reminded himself, this was a military after all - that obviously opened up into the Mountain.  

“I see it,” he acknowledged, refraining from adding, so what? 

"I wonder where it leads. It must go somewhere inside the Mountain," Charlie said with a gleam in his eyes.    

The thrill in his foster brother's voice startled Daniel. Even Charlie wouldn't be crazy enough to try to use the hatch to get inside, would he? For some reason, Daniel's mind flashed back to the Curious George books his mother had read him as a young child.   

"I don't know," he answered neutrally, not wanting to encourage Charlie by agreeing or disagreeing.  

"We should find out." Charlie said, his eyes still sparkling. "It would be the coolest adventure ever. Maybe it leads to a top-secret project."   

"With your luck it probably leads right into your dad's office," Daniel countered, hoping the idea would break through Charlie's rising excitement.  

Charlie actually shivered then laughed. "Wanna find out?" 

He was serious, Daniel realized with growing dismay.  He opened his mouth to say 'no', then closed it again.  It wasn't as if he didn't believe in adventure, he did, just not this kind of adventure. He was beginning to feel like the man in the yellow hat in the Curious George books. 

Maybe logic could prevail. "That hatch is probably screwed so tight we'd never be able to turn it. And even if we could, it must be locked. This base has the tightest security systems in the country, maybe even in the world. It's definitely locked." 

Charlie sagged for a moment before perking up again. "You're probably right. But mistakes happen all the time. Dad says people screw up because they get overconfident. Maybe they're so overconfident about their security that they forgot to lock it. It can't hurt to check. Right?"  

Daniel decided that the best thing would be to check it out himself. That way he could say it was locked even if it wasn't, then they could get back to the blanket and wait for Jack. 

"I'll check," he said.  Without giving Charlie time to argue he grabbed the metal wheel and tried to turn it. He was relieved to find it was immovable and most definitely locked. Then a very loud siren began blaring from deep inside the Mountain and all around them. 

Oh, crap! He had activated the alarm system. He should have thought of that.  

"Uh-oh," Charlie whispered in the understatement of the year.  

From a distance, Daniel could see a Marine running toward them with his gun drawn. A few seconds later more Marines followed, and then the hatch they'd been contemplating burst open, and more Marines poured out from there.   

Daniel and Charlie stood frozen as they were surrounded by no less than twelve SF's pointing automatic weapons at them.  Daniel's heart banged crazily around in his chest as he stared at all those big guns.  Stay still, Charlie, he thought frantically.  Don't move. 

"Daniel?"  

One of the Marines straightened slightly and his eyes narrowed.  Thank goodness one of the guards recognized him. Despite the recognition, the weapons remained trained on them. Still it made Daniel feel a tiny bit better, or at least a tiny bit less terrified. 

"Lower your weapons! What the hell's going on out here?"  That was Jack's booming voice and the guards lowered their rifles immediately. They looked relieved at the order and Daniel guessed they didn't enjoy pointing M-16's at kids.    

"Yes, sir. It looks like your boys... " the Marine who had recognized Daniel began to joke.  

"Dismissed," Jack ordered harshly and Daniel's stomach lurched at the sight of Jack's blazing eyes. "I'll handle this."  

It was obvious to everyone Colonel O'Neill was in no mood for joking and the Marines left as quickly as they had arrived, leaving Daniel and Charlie alone to face Jack's wrath.   

He rounded on them, looking more furious than Daniel had ever seen him. "Charlie, what the hell were you thinking?"  

Daniel shivered at the sight of Jack's anger.  Why was he was so angry?  Apart from startling people, it didn't seem like the alarm going off was that big of a deal. 

Charlie stayed quiet and Jack's lips thinned.  "Answer me," he demanded harshly.  

"Jack..." Daniel started.  

"Not now, Daniel. Answer me, Charlie," Jack repeated. "What were you going to do, climb down there? And do what?"  

Daniel tried to swallow but his dry throat made that impossible.  His heart was still thumping in his chest but this was a different kind of fear.  It was the first time since his arrival that Jack had yelled this loudly at him or Charlie. He had raised his voice before but he usually stayed in control even when he was angry.  

Daniel didn't understand the intensity of Jack's reaction. They hadn't known the hatch had an alarm and they couldn't have opened it even if they'd tried, so why was Jack this upset? Jack was acting and sounding like Mr. Denton used to... just before he beat the crap out of Daniel.  The thought sent a shiver through him and he wanted to step back, but his feet were frozen in place. 

Was Jack about to beat the crap out of Charlie?  That didn't seem likely but he couldn't take the chance, even if it meant Jack might turn his anger on Daniel. 

"Jack..." he tried again, wishing he could control the chattering of his teeth. 

"Not now," Jack repeated severely, his furious gaze never leaving his son. "You had your chance, Charlie. I brought you here so you could see where I work and what I do and this is how you behave... by embarrassing me in front of the entire base? Well, that's it. That's the last time you'll be inside the Mountain. It was your mother's suggestion. I didn't think it was a good idea and it turns out I was right." 

Was that why Jack was so angry... because he was embarrassed? But that still didn't explain... Daniel's heart lurched at the silent tears running down Charlie's cheeks. Even if it put him in line for a beating, he had to tell the truth. 

"Jack, it was me," he said quickly. "I did it. I tried to turn the hatch. I just wanted to see if it was locked. We didn't know it would set off an alarm." He didn't care if they fired him or banned him from the Mountain forever, he couldn't stand to see Charlie so devastated. 

"You? You did it?"  Jack wheeled on him and Daniel instinctively took a step backwards.  

He nodded contritely, gritting his teeth in expectation of a possible blow that would send him flying with pain exploding through his body.   

"T-that's not exactly what happened," Charlie said despite his tears. "It wasn't Daniel's fault. He only tried the hatch because of me. I'm the one who wanted to open it."  

Despite his fear, Daniel spared a moment to stare in astonishment at his foster brother. Charlie never ceased to amaze him. He should have stayed quiet. Jack's words had to hurt and hurt bad. Daniel couldn't recall a time when either of his parents had been ashamed or embarrassed by him. Although, he'd only been eight when they... when The Accident happened so he supposed he might have gotten into more trouble as he got older.  

Jack glared from one boy to the other.  “Come with me,” he snapped, turning and walking back towards the entrance. 

The boys trailed silently after him.  As Daniel watched the tall straight figure in front him, a flash of memory broke through his fear.  He remembered climbing down into one of the tombs his parents had been excavating despite his father's direct order forbidding it. He had been seven at the time. Why had he done it? He wasn't sure. Why did kids wander into forbidden places? He had been curious. He had always been curious. His parents knew that about him and always kept a close eye on him. He remembered his dad had been especially angry that day but even angry his dad wasn't as loud or boisterous as Jack. Daniel had been banned from the dig site for a full week. A horrible punishment at the time. Still, his father hadn't said Daniel embarrassed him. 

Daniel had always thought he and Charlie were so different, it was startling to realize that in some ways they were a lot alike. He snuck another glance at Charlie who was staring at his feet as they exited the elevator and chased after Jack in the silent march to his office.   

Once inside, Jack ordered them to sit in the chairs in front of his desk. “I have to go explain all this to General Hammond,” he growled in a tone that scared Daniel all over again. “And this time you are not to move an inch.  Clear?” 

They nodded dumbly and he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.  The echoes resounded in the small room and a shudder ran through Daniel.  He glanced at the still form sitting beside him and then he looked around Jack's office.  There was Charlie's model jet and the fishing calendar. Charlie had really been looking forward to seeing where his dad spent so much of his time and now everything was ruined.  
 

Chapter 18 
 

Jack was still furious as he made his way to Hammond's office to explain what happened and apologize. The General had been kind enough to give permission to bring Charlie in and now this had happened. He'd been second in command of the base for such a short time, so far he wasn't doing a bang-up job.   

"Hey, Colonel, I hear Mini-O'Neill gave the Marines a little workout."  

It was Kawalsky, sporting a wide grin.  For no reason the sight of that grin ratcheted Jack's anger up another notch. He didn't feel like joking.   

“It wasn't funny,” he snapped.  Sure as hell, he'd be pissed if it had been someone else's kid. “This isn't a kid's playground.  People could've been hurt.”  Like Charlie and Daniel. The sight of a dozen powerful automatic weapons pointed at his boys had filled Jack with a terror that still lingered just below his anger.   

He was aware of it but did his best to ignore it.  That wasn't the issue. The Marines had more important things to do with their time. The code ten had been a false alarm, too, and then this had happened. The running of the base was his job, his responsibility. It didn't say much about his ability to run the place smoothly.  How could he control the base if he couldn't control his own kid?  By now everyone in the Mountain knew his kid had set off the false alarm. It was bad luck Hammond happened to be in his office today. It would have been easier to write up a report and leave it on the General's desk than to face the incredibly busy man with this nonsense.   

Kawalsky sobered under his C.O.'s scorching glare, but continued to argue, albeit respectfully.  "Sir, it's really not a big deal."  

The hell it wasn't. "Don't you have some work to do?" Jack snarled.  

Charlie Kawalsky was a smart man who knew better than to push his luck. "Yes, sir," he answered before disappearing down a corridor.  It annoyed Jack further when he heard his old comrade and friend chuckling as he walked away. 

Jack reached Hammond's office, gathered his thoughts, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.   

"Come."  

When he entered, Hammond was sitting behind his desk surrounded by the usual stacks of paper. "Colonel, have a seat." 

Jack remained standing and got right to the point. "Sir, I want to apologize for the false alarm my son and Daniel - " 

"Relax, Colonel. Sit."  

Jack obeyed and the General continued in the same genial tone. "I've raised a son and a daughter and I have grandchildren. I'm sure the boys didn't mean any harm. I'm glad to know that our Daniel still has some kid in him."  

Stunned, Jack could only stare at his C.O.  His thoughts had scattered in surprise and he recollected them with difficulty. "Uh, yes, sir. Thank you, General.  Still, sir, they did disrupt the base and cause quite a bit of chaos." 

Hammond waved his hand in an 'it was nothing' gesture. "No harm done. I imagine most boys their age would be tempted to try to open that hatch to get a look inside. Besides,” he added with a chuckle, “that's one less drill Major Reynolds has to conduct. It certainly kept everyone on their toes. After all, it's important to be prepared for anything." 

Jack couldn't believe Hammond was taking it all so calmly, even with some amusement. He felt humbled. General Hammond was an incredibly understanding, decent man. 

"Are you all right, Colonel?" 

"Me? I'm fine, sir," Jack answered, confused by the question. He wondered if he was still red in the face from all the bellowing. 

The General's keen blue eyes studied him. "It must have been upsetting to see guns pointed at your children. But you know the Marines here are top notch and not prone to errors or hair-trigger accidents, if that's any comfort." 

"Yes, sir, it is." Jack nodded, still stunned by the man before him.  

"Is there anything else?" Hammond asked.  

"No. No, sir. I'll let you get back to work."  He rose. “Thank you, sir,” he said again. 

"Colonel," He was almost out the door when Hammond's words stopped him. "I hope you weren't too hard on the boys." 

"No, sir..." Jack found himself fumbling for words.   

"Good. Give them my regards and apologize for the guns. I hope your boys enjoy the rest of the day. If I get a chance I'll stop by and say hello. Don't let it ruin your day, Colonel. Life's too short."  

"Uh, yes, sir."  

Jack made his way out of his C.O.'s office, feeling all kinds of confused.  He considered himself to be a good leader but he realized he had a hell of a long way to go to reach the level of leadership and perspective provided by General Hammond. He had never served under such a man and it made the Stargate program an even more exciting prospect. Here was a leader he could emulate and respect.  

As he walked back to his office, absently acknowledging the personnel passing by, he tried to figure out what had been behind his blind anger.  He was insecure about being 2IC of the base. The thought struck him like a ton of bricks and his brisk pace slowed as he grappled with the unexpected truth. Insecurity was not normally part of his make-up. Then again, he had only held his current position for a short time and things had been quiet and relatively easy, up until the time Daniel had become part of the program. 

Now everything was happening so fast, the possibilities grew more staggering with each passing day. If just some of the possibilities turned into reality... Jack couldn't wrap his mind around it.  As much as it excited him, it also scared him shitless, especially now that he was second in command. He was responsible for every man, woman... and child who entered the base. Everyone here was a husband or wife, father or mother, sister or brother, son or daughter. Everyone was important to someone and each of their lives mattered. And they were in his hands. They were his responsibility.   

Two years ago, Jack couldn't have imagined any of this. He had been on the verge of leaving the Air Force.  He had survived capture and months of imprisonment in Iraq, but the Jack O'Neill who had returned home after that experience was a vastly different man than the one who had left months earlier. 

No one had ever said so, but Jack suspected that had been the real reason behind his transfer to Cheyenne Mountain.  Though top-secret, the project had been low-key.  No one except the scientists involved ever believed anything would come of it.  It had seemed like the perfect place to hide away an ex-POW suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder who was most likely on his way out of the Air Force.  

Jack had gone through those early days in a fog.  It would have been easy to throw in the towel. But the deep-down stubbornness that had pulled him through Iraq wouldn't let him give up.  It had taken months of work, and the unremitting love and effort of his wife and the son he cherished, to finally break through and drag him back to life in the real world. The same son he had just yelled himself hoarse at, Jack thought with a wince.  

So much for the low-key project.  If the scientists' theories panned out... Jack would find himself in one of the most enviable positions the United States military had to offer.  

So why had he freaked out?  Losing control wasn't like him. He had to figure this out. Was it only about his insecurity in his new position?  No, he didn't think so.  There was something else going on... 

When Jack thought back to what had happened, the first image that came to mind was of Charlie and Daniel surrounded by Marines. That was going to be one of those unpleasantly indelible, unshakable memories, he just knew it.  

Oh, shit.  If it had been any more obvious it would have knocked him over the head with a two-by-four. 

It was fear, pure and simple fear.  Even now, as he walked through the corridors of the underground military facility, the memory of what had almost happened to his boys sent another rush of terror through his veins. 

And how did Jack O'Neill respond to being afraid? 

He got mad. 

Well, duh, O'Neill.  Congratulations.  You just won the booby prize. 

Wishing he had the time and privacy to smack his head against the concrete wall, Jack turned the corner and spotted his office up ahead.  He took a deep breath, held it for a beat, then exhaled slowly.  Okay, O'Neill, he taunted himself, let's see if you can handle this like a grown-up. 

As he entered the office, Jack's heart swelled at the sight of Charlie and Daniel sitting stiffly in their chairs as ordered. It looked as if they hadn't moved or spoken since he'd left. He decided to swallow his pride and apologize. Another sign of leadership that he had tried to drill into Charlie... when you're wrong, you say you're wrong.  

"Hey, guys." 

Both heads jerked around to look up at him. Instead of sitting behind his desk Jack wheeled the chair around to sit beside them. Some conversations needed to take place up close and personal.  

No need to beat around the bush. He'd relieve their anxiety and get right to it. "I'm sorry I overreacted." 

"You are?" Daniel's eyes widened.  

"Yes, I am. Any kid would've been tempted to check out that hatch. I wish you hadn't done it, but you couldn't have known about the alarm system and it wasn't that big of a deal. I don't think we should let it ruin the rest of our day. What do you say?" 

"Okay, Jack," Daniel answered immediately in shocked relief. Mr. Denton never got over being angry this quickly. Of course, Jack hadn't just guzzled down a pint of scotch either.  Even sober, Mr. Denton had never apologized for anything.  

He had been wrong to connect Jack to Mr. Denton, even if Jack had yelled loudly.  The two men weren't anything alike.  Not at all.    

The relief on Daniel's face made Jack wonder what the kid had been expecting but he decided not to delve into it. Poor Charlie had yet to raise his head. He obviously needed more convincing.  

"Charlie? What do you say?" 

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you, Dad. Are you going to get fired?" Charlie didn't raise his head or meet Jack's eyes.  

Oh for crying out loud. "No, I'm not going to get fired.  And if I did it wouldn't be because of you guys.  It would be because I'm second in command of the base and I acted like an idiot." 

"But you had to talk to the General," Charlie returned, reminding Jack that his son took all things military very seriously.  

"Yes, I did, and he said to say hello to you guys and to have a good time." He decided to try for lighthearted, feeling foolish for his ranting less than an hour ago.  

"Is that all he said?" Charlie asked, finally raising his head.  

"No, that's not all," Jack made a point of saying. "He also said to apologize to you guys for all the weapons that were pointed at you. Which, by the way, took a few years off your old man's life." 

Keep it short and simple, Jack decided.  No need to tell the entire truth about how he'd been momentarily paralyzed by fear or mention the fact that there would probably be nightmares in his future thanks to that little moment. 

"Really, Dad? He didn't say we have to leave?"  

"No, he didn't,” Jack said, glancing at a relieved-looking Daniel before turning back to his son.  “So... we okay?"  

Charlie's dark eyes met his and the guilt he saw in them deepened Jack's remorse for his earlier harshness. "And it's not going to go into your personnel file?" 

His personnel file? Where did Charlie get this stuff? "No it's not. General Hammond is a very nice man and it didn't seem to faze him in the least. Not nearly as much as it did me." Jack mumbled the last line with disgust. 

Daniel nodded.  But as Jack studied his son, it was obvious Charlie still had issues.  

"What?" he asked. "If you have something to say, kiddo, go ahead and say it."  

"Mom made you bring me, you didn't want to...?" Charlie's voice dropped off and he sounded so sad.  

Crap! Did anyone stick his foot in his mouth more than Jack O'Neill?  "Mom suggested it,” he clarified, “because I hadn't thought about it..." 

"And you didn't think it was a good idea." Charlie recalled his father's words with damning clarity. "And you were right," he added softly.       

"No, I wasn't,” Jack said flatly.  Damn it, was he going to have to confess the whole truth?  The real reason he'd blown his top?  Oh yeah. The memory of a dozen M-16s pointed at his kids was definitely going to be haunting his dreams. 

No, he couldn't lay that on them, but there was another truth. Jack met his son's gaze squarely.  “I was wrong.  I was wrong when I blew up at you and I was wrong about it being a bad idea to bring you here.  It turned out to be a great idea. We were having fun, weren't we?" 

Charlie nodded but Jack didn't think he looked convinced. "What?" he said again, mentally urging the boy further. He hated trying to figure it all out. It would be so much easier if Charlie would just spill his guts and spell it out for him.

 
"It's just that... I thought you liked to do stuff with me, Dad. I always like doing stuff with you."  

Jack's heart dropped to his feet and for a second he couldn't breathe. "Oh, Charlie." He leaned over and pulled his son in for a long hug before gently pushing him back to meet his troubled gaze.  

"You know me, I say some dumb things sometimes. But I try to always be truthful with you, right?”  He waited until Charlie nodded before continuing.  “So believe me when I tell you this. There's nothing I'd rather do than spend time with you."  

He watched his son's mouth open and close before answering. "Really, Dad?" he finally squeaked out. 

"Of course, really." Realizing tears were dangerously close, Jack huffed loudly to lighten the mood, and was relieved when Charlie finally smiled.  Much better, he thought and glanced at his other boy.  Did he need to do any more damage control with Daniel? 

"How about you, buddy? Everything okay?"  

"Well..." 

Oh, no, now what? "Go ahead, just say what's on your mind." 

"I really have to go to the bathroom,"  

Jack snorted at that. Finally an easy problem to solve. "You know where it is. You should have just gone."  

Daniel gave him a hesitant smile. “I didn't want to move while you were so mad," he admitted before jumping up and hurrying toward the bathroom.  

Before Jack had time to consider those troubling words there was a knock on the door. "Come," he said, running a hand through his hair.  When the familiar heavy-set figure appeared in the doorway he immediately rose. 

"General Hammond," he said, smiling when Charlie stood up beside him. "This is my son, Charlie. Daniel's in the head, sir." Jack felt the pride swelling within, just as it had this morning with the guard at the gate.  

Charlie stared up at the newcomer, his brown eyes the size of saucers. “General... it's... it's nice to meet you, sir," he said, sounding more respectful than Jack had ever remembered. 

"You're the young man who made this model jet?" Hammond beamed down at the boy. 

"Yes, sir," Charlie nodded, and Jack swallowed a laugh.  He had never seen his son so awestruck, almost to the point of speechlessness.  

"Well, you did a fine job, son,” the General said with an approving nod.  “Very precise."  

"Thank you.  I mean, thank you, sir. I'm sorry about the false alarm today," Charlie apologized. 

The General chuckled at that. "You boys did cause quite stir. I trust the Marines didn't scare you too badly." 

"No, actually it was pretty exciting," Charlie enthused before catching himself and glancing at Jack.  

Luckily, Daniel took that moment to step out of the bathroom. "Hi, General Hammond," he said shyly. "I'm sorry, too. And I didn't think it was that exciting."  

The General chuckled again. "It certainly kept everyone on their toes,” he said as he bestowed a paternal smile on the boys.  “May I suggest,” he added with a glance at Jack, “your father take you to the commissary for some ice cream." He leaned over to whisper conspiratorially in Charlie's ear, "The food isn't the greatest but I find there's not much they can do to ruin the ice cream."  

"Can we, Dad?" Charlie asked eagerly. 

When Jack hesitated, Hammond added, "I could make that an order, Colonel."  

The tension of the last hour lifted and Daniel and Charlie burst out laughing.   

"Not necessary, sir," Jack said with a smile. "I think we'll head down there now."  

“Very well, Colonel.”  Hammond turned toward the door. "Enjoy the rest of your visit, boys," he ordered on his way out.  

Jack stared at the door for several seconds after the General had gone.  That man was an all-around class act. 

“Dad?” Charlie's voice yanked him out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah?” 

“Are we going to get ice cream now?” 

That drew Jack's gaze back to the boys.  Daniel was looking eager but Charlie was looking... uncomfortable?  Now what? 

“Why?  You going to keel over if you don't get ice cream right away?” 

Charlie grinned.  “No. I just wanted to make sure I had time to go to the bath - the head,” he finished, beaming proudly. 

“Go on.” Jack chuckled and ruffled his son's hair.   

Talk about timing.  He was glad for the chance to have a few minutes alone with Daniel.  Jack waited until the door closed behind Charlie before he turned to the younger boy. 

“Are you sure you're okay?” he asked lightly. 

“I'm fine, Jack.” Daniel gazed up at him, looking confused.   

Oy.  Jack barely refrained from rolling his eyes.  “I'm sure you are.  But I couldn't help noticing how...” he hesitated briefly but there was no way around it. With gritted teeth, he forced the words out.  “How scared you were.  When I yelled at you and Charlie.” 

He saw comprehension dawn in the blue eyes before Daniel looked down at his shoes.  Damn.  For once Jack wished his instincts weren't so sharp. 

Jack sat back down in the chair.  “Come here,” he said, with a gentle tug on the boy's arm. 

Daniel came forward readily enough, though he stiffened when Jack put an arm around his shoulders.  Pretending he didn't notice, Jack kept his arm where it was. 

“Can you tell me, Daniel?” he asked, keeping his voice low and calm. 

Daniel shrugged and Jack took a deep breath.  He realized he was going to have to say it because this boy never would. 

“Were you afraid I was going to hurt you?” 

Daniel looked up quickly, his eyes round with astonishment behind the oversized glasses.  “I, uh...” 

Well, at least surprise had forced out a few words.  That was something. 

“I'm sorry I frightened you,” Jack said quietly.  “I have a bad habit of blowing up at people when I get scared.  That's why I yelled.” 

“You were scared?” Daniel said uncertainly.  “Why?” 

Jack hesitated but decided frankness was the way to go.  “When I saw the Marines pointing their weapons at you and Charlie, it scared me.  Maybe it scared me more than I've ever been scared before.  So I got mad and yelled.” 

He watched the boy processing his words, and wondered not for the first time about the exceptional mind behind those big blue eyes.  When Daniel finally looked back at him it was with understanding. 

“You wouldn't have hurt us,” he said with certainty. 

Jack winced, knowing his instincts had been right.  At the same time he felt better hearing the innocent words. 

“That's right,” he said, putting every bit of assurance he had into his voice.  “I would never hurt you or Charlie.  Never, Daniel.” 

Daniel smiled, an open, unguarded smile that Jack had never seen before.  “I know,” he said simply. 

“Good,” Jack returned, relief swelling his heart. 

The doorknob rattled and Daniel leaned away from Jack's arm just as Charlie burst in. 

“So what about that ice cream?” he demanded. 

Jack snorted and rose.  “Okay, okay.  By the way, how do you like my office?” 

Charlie turned an assessing eye on the sterile room that was warmed only by the model airplane and the fishing calendar. 

“I think,” he said with a widening grin, “Daniel and I need to get you some more stuff.” 

Daniel smiled broadly and Jack laughed.  “Sounds like a plan.  For now, ice cream.” 

“All right!” Charlie exclaimed, and they all laughed. 
 

Chapter 19 
 

Daniel opened his eyes and squinted at the clock on the nightstand. It was definitely light outside but the way the shadows fell across the wall meant it was still early. The red digital numbers finally came into focus. 6:20AM. He grabbed his glasses and jumped out of bed. Not only was he going into the Mountain with Jack this morning, but today was July 8th, his birthday.  

It had been three years since he had last celebrated the occasion but when he closed his eyes the memories were surprisingly fresh. The gathering had been large and loud with his parents' friends and colleagues and their children in attendance, all enthusiastically celebrating his birth. Their tent had been lavishly decorated with flowers and fruit, the symbols of life and growth. In accordance with Egyptian custom, young Daniel had been surrounded by laughter and joy to supposedly protect him from evil in the upcoming year.  

So much for that plan, Daniel thought sadly. He remembered his father promising that the eighth year of his life would be special, a spectacular year of learning and wonder. His father promised him that every year. For the first time his father had been horribly wrong. Back then, Daniel had no way of knowing that turning eight would be the last truly innocent moment of his life. His eyes and throat stung as he fought back tears.  

He hadn't celebrated since, hadn't even dared to visit the memory. Angry at himself for the brief lapse of self-control, Daniel brushed the tears and thoughts aside. If he didn't think about it, he wouldn't cry. Today he didn't need to worry about reliving his painful past. It wasn't likely the O'Neill's had any knowledge of Egyptian birthday customs. That was fine with Daniel Jackson. New American customs would be easier. Ice cream. Cake, maybe. Probably. Jack liked cake. If he was really lucky, Sara might make the rich yellow sour cream cake with the delicious chocolate frosting.  

The O'Neill birthday traditions were a mystery. No one in the house had celebrated a birthday since Daniel's arrival. Whatever the customs turned out to be, Daniel was quite certain fruit and flowers wouldn't be involved. But Jack could be creative and loud and Daniel hoped the Colonel wouldn't embarrass him at home, or especially at Cheyenne Mountain.  

As it turned out, he needn't have worried. On the drive into work Jack talked about the finer points of fly fishing but made no mention of birthdays. Daniel tried not to be disappointed until it struck him that maybe Jack had planned a surprise party at the Mountain. The more Daniel thought about it, the more plausible the idea became. Jack didn't seem like one to let something as important as a birthday slide by unnoticed.  

It made sense. The scientists in the Archaeology and Linguistics Departments were getting used to the idea of a ten-year-old, eleven, Daniel corrected himself proudly, an eleven-year-old teaching them the snake code and translating the words and phrases inscribed on the pottery and strange artifacts that filled the lab. Dr. Lee and Dr. Rothman were particularly cordial and to Daniel's delight, Sam treated him with open fondness. General West had been replaced by General Hammond, and despite the recent false alarm trouble, the new General also seemed to like him.   

"Hey, DJ! They got you working the weekend again, huh?" The Marine at the entrance winked at him as Jack signed them in. That sealed the party deal in Daniel's mind as he flashed the jarhead a bright smile and vowed to act surprised.  

The morning dragged on, disappointingly ordinary, but at lunchtime Daniel eagerly walked into the commissary with Jack at his side. It was now or never. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath as they entered. Once inside he opened them again to ... nothing. Not even Sam who had been mysteriously absent all morning. No one was in the commissary. Well, no one he knew.  

Luckily, Jack had brought some paperwork to rifle through, so after they picked out their boring sandwiches and side dishes, Jack read, while Daniel picked at his food and berated himself for his ridiculously high expectations. He had been carried away, certain something was in the works. The guard had winked, Jack had called specifically to meet him for lunch, and Sam was nowhere to be seen. It had felt like something was up. Wishful thinking. 

"Where's Sam?" Daniel asked quietly. 

"She's a... out of town." Jack answered in his 'don't ask any questions' tone. 

"She's out of town a lot." Daniel wrinkled his nose and mumbled under his breath.  

"Yeah," Jack replied, looking him over carefully. "You okay?"  

Daniel nodded and looked down at his food, his face warming from the embarrassment of reading all the signals wrong and foolishly hoping for something that wasn't meant to be.   

"The scientists treating you okay?" Jack stopped shuffling his papers to study him and Daniel knew he'd better snap out of it before the colonel went into interrogation mode.  

There was no need to be embarrassed. No one knew he had been expecting a party. No one would ever have to know. Daniel took a deep breath and regrouped.   

"Dr. Rothman forgot that he took his allergy medication at breakfast so he took it again in the lab, and then he kept falling asleep on his desk." He probably shouldn't tell Jack that but he was desperate for a diversion.  

"Oh that's just great," Jack grumbled. "American tax dollars at work."  

Daniel faked a smile and forced down a spoonful of macaroni and cheese. It seemed to work as Jack went back to scanning his papers. The day was only half over so it was still possible something was planned for the afternoon but the chances were rapidly dwindling.      

The long day finally ended and on the drive home Daniel conceded he had been wrong. Saturday, July 8th, was a day that had passed by like any other. Slouching down low in the back seat, Daniel acknowledged he had not only been wrong, but stupid. Cheyenne Mountain was a top secret military facility, certainly not a place to have a kid's birthday party. Maybe when they got home...  

But that didn't happen either. Sara came home late from the hospital and immediately began rushing around the kitchen throwing dinner together.  She finished whipping up the tuna salad and threw him an apologetic look. 

“I'm sorry, Daniel,” she said, “I forgot you don't like tuna. Maybe you can pick the pieces out...” her voice trailed off. 

“That's okay,” he shrugged, hoping his expression didn't give him away. 

“Jack,” Sara called.  When her husband appeared in the doorway she continued, “Why don't you throw some hot dogs on the grill.” 

“Got it,” Jack answered agreeably before disappearing. 

Daniel appreciated the apology but it didn't ease the lump in his throat.  Tuna salad and hot dogs.  Not exactly his first choice for a birthday dinner.  

When they were sitting around the table eating, Daniel carefully picked out the chunks of tuna in front of him while telling himself he had no reason to feel disappointed. He hadn't had a ninth or a tenth birthday, so a missed eleventh shouldn't be a big deal. He didn't imagine it was on purpose. Maybe Jack and Sara didn't even know it was his birthday. Of course, they knew when Sara registered him for school and when Jack filled out the paperwork for him at the Mountain but that was months ago and maybe they just forgot. Sara was working overtime and Jack was always busy, especially lately, acclimating General Hammond, so it was possible that it wasn't that they didn't care, they had simply forgotten. Understandable under the circumstances.  

What bothered Daniel most and made the lump in his throat even bigger was the fact that Charlie knew. Just last week Charlie had made it clear that even though they'd be the same age for a few months he was still nearly a year older, with Charlie's birthday being at the end of September. He and Charlie had been getting along better recently. Wouldn't Charlie have mentioned it to Jack and Sara?  

What did it matter? He had been stupid to think they'd celebrate. So stupid. Now he was paying for it with sadness and hurt feelings. Why didn't he ever learn?  

Since the two of them had outwitted Tommy and his gang, Charlie had been feeling better about Daniel being part of their family.  He had to admit that the conversation he'd had with his mom about what Daniel had gone through, what he was probably still going through, after losing his parents and being stuck in foster care, had helped him understand Daniel better. And the trip to the Mountain had been fun, the alarm disaster not withstanding. 

Despite all that, it still drove Charlie crazy to see how much time Daniel spent with his dad, time that he didn't get.  Today was a perfect example.  Jack and Daniel had left early this morning - on a Saturday - and spent the entire day together at that mysterious, exciting place, Cheyenne Mountain. Having been inside the Mountain almost made it worse. Daniel was working in one of the places that had been off limits on the tour. Maybe there had been another code ten today, or even more exciting, a lockdown. What if someday there was a lockdown with Dad and Daniel stuck inside the mountain together for weeks or even months? Charlie resented the possibility of missing out on all the excitement.     

And while his dad and Daniel had been doing who knows what deep inside the Mountain, what had Charlie done today?  He had stayed home, as usual.  Part of the day had been spent doing chores, then he'd had lunch over at Spencer's and Spencer had suggested going swimming at Adam's Pond.  As much as Charlie would have loved that, his parents had laid down the rule a long time ago forbidding him to go there without adult supervision. 

So instead they'd hung around Spencer's house for the afternoon, practicing their hitting and fielding.  Big thrill. 

Frustrated and bored, Charlie's irritation hit new heights when Jack and Daniel returned home that evening, Jack high-spirited and boisterous, Daniel even more quiet than usual.  Something was going on at Cheyenne Mountain, something big.  He just knew it.  Charlie's brief exposure to the inner workings of the Mountain had whetted his appetite for more, but he knew it would never happen.  Daniel got to be a part of it.  And they wouldn't tell him anything.  Even his mom didn't know what went on down there. 

It wasn't fair! 

Worst of all, today was Daniel's birthday and he'd have to sit through the whole birthday experience - his dad loved to make a big deal over birthdays - while pretending to be happy for Daniel. 

But to Charlie's utter amazement - and secret pleasure - his mom and dad caught up and chatted throughout dinner and made no mention of Daniel's birthday. At first Charlie assumed they were going to surprise Daniel but as soon as his mother set dinner on the table he realized that wasn't the case. There was no festive gift waiting to be opened, and even more telling was the meal. The salad had tuna in it. Daniel wasn't particularly fond of tuna.  No gifts in sight, no special, custom 'made to order' dinner and not even a whiff of cake. His parents honestly didn't know or hadn't remembered that today was Daniel's birthday.   

Charlie's hidden glee was short-lived as he studied Daniel and began wondering what it would be like to have a birthday no one celebrated or remembered. Dad said he was like his mom in the way he worried about people and their feelings and well being. Charlie didn't think he worried all that much but he hadn't contradicted him. Now he realized his dad might be right. His stomach churned uneasily, his throat was tight and his hands were sweating. He felt horrible that what he had secretly wished for had come to pass.  

It also bothered him that his parents had forgotten. They were grown ups, parents, and even though he was old enough to know better, he still liked to believe his parents got everything right. He should have told them. He tried not to feel guilty, after all, it was their job to remember, not his, but he hadn't reminded them and now, not only was he feeling guilty, but he also felt uncomfortable for Daniel and embarrassed for his mom and dad.  

"Why don't you guys clear the table and load the dishwasher and straighten up so your mother and I can sit down and relax for a few minutes?"  

"'Kay, Dad." From experience, Charlie recognized that the question was actually an order disguised as a request. Dad did that a lot. He was a Colonel and he expected people, including kids, to obey his 'requests.'  

"Sure," Daniel mumbled.  

As soon as they were alone Charlie tried to set things right. "Daniel, why don't you go out and play. I'll clean up." It was the least he could do. No kid should load dishes and wipe tables and counters on their birthday.  

"I can help," Daniel shrugged. 

“I know, but I got it.  Why don't you go read your book on the Aztekians.” 

“Actually,” Daniel said slowly, “it's on the rise and fall of the Aztec civilization.” 

“Yeah, right,” Charlie nodded.  He remembered Daniel's enthusiasm when talking to Sara about something from the book.  Seeing Daniel so subdued made Charlie feel even worse.   

“Why don't you go read that?” he suggested again.  “I got this covered.” 

"You sure?" Daniel hesitated and gave him a searching look.   

"Yep, go ahead."  

Daniel had been quiet throughout dinner and had looked so sad that Charlie wasn't surprised when he agreed rather quickly. He probably wanted to get away. Charlie was hoping to ease his own conscience with the gesture but he still felt bad. Maybe he'd take Daniel up a twinkie later. It would be like cake.   

"Where's Daniel?"  

Charlie had been so deep in thought that his father's words startled him. "He's reading his book."   

"Daniel!" Jack yelled before Charlie had a chance to intervene.  

"Dad, don't. I told him to go read. I want to clean up by myself." Charlie shifted uncomfortably. As much as he loved his dad, the man could be a pain in the neck. It was almost impossible to keep things from him. That's why it had shocked Charlie when Daniel's birthday snuck by unnoticed.  

"Why?"  

Uh-oh. Forget about lying. Charlie had long ago given up attempting to hide the truth; he was convinced his dad had a lie detector built into his gut.      

"I want to do it myself." There, that was the truth. 

"Why?" Jack asked again in the same confused but determined tone. 

"Because, I, a... I want to be alone. To think about stuff."  

To Charlie's relief, after a puzzled look and a sigh his father left him to finish cleaning up in peace.  

"Jack, did you know that Marge Hansen has breast implants?" Sara asked the question as she climbed into bed and nestled down beside him.  

Hmm... admit he noticed or play dumb? After fifteen years of marriage questions like this one still baffled him. It had been a strange day all around. Daniel had been super quiet and had gone to bed early, Charlie insisted on doing the dishes alone, and now Sara was yammering on about breast implants. 

"Did you hear me, Jack?" 

"Yep, that's interesting, honey." Hah, if she expected to suck him into a discussion, he wasn't going down that road. She chuckled and rolled over, leaving him to wonder what that signified.  

Sara's breathing became deeper but Jack was having trouble sleeping. The implications of the secrets hidden away under Cheyenne Mountain usually hit him hardest in the quiet darkness. He was still awake when a light knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts.  

"Mom, Dad? You awake?" 

"Come on in." Jack rolled over to face the doorway, hoping Charlie wasn't sick. He rarely came into their bedroom now that he was older and beyond the 'there are monsters in my closet' stage. "You okay, kiddo?"  

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you something." 

That didn't sound good. He... broke a window, flunked a test, got into a fight... "What's up?"  

"You guys forgot that today was Daniel's birthday."  

Sara sat up immediately. "July 8th. He's right. Oh, the poor kid."  

"Crap! Why didn't you say something sooner?" 

"I forgot."  

The dishes, the late-night twinkie run...  A light went on in Jack's brain. When Charlie looked down at the rug and took a few steps backwards Jack knew for certain forgetfulness wasn't the reason. After everything Daniel had been through Charlie was petty enough to deny him a simple birthday celebration?    

"No, I don't think you did forget. Did you?" Jack's voice was bordering on anger.  

"Let it go, Jack."  

Sara was tugging on his arm but she didn't understand. Charlie had deliberately hurt Daniel and he could prove it. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" 

"Jack." 

"What?" he growled. If she'd give him a minute he had no doubt Charlie would come clean and confess.  

"This is our fault," she said quietly.  "Go to bed, Charlie." 

Jack opened his mouth then closed it, not wanting to say something he'd regret and argue with his wife in front of their son. Charlie didn't need to be told twice; he hightailed it out of there double-time. 

"He did it on purpose," Jack stated with quiet, controlled anger. "Why would he do that?" 

"Why do you think?" Sara didn't sound the least bit angry. 

"I don't know, Sara, you seem to have all the answers. You tell me." Nothing pissed him off more than when she contradicted him in front of Charlie, though he had to admit it was rare and whenever it happened, she was usually right.  

"Okay, how about because he's jealous." 

"Of Daniel?" Jack was incredulous. "I don't think so." He didn't buy it. Work aside, he spent far more time with Charlie than he did with Daniel.  

"Of the time you spend with Daniel. Don't be an idiot, Jack. Today is Saturday and you spent all day with Daniel."  

Jack took a deep breath to calm himself. "Most of the time we're at work I don't even see Daniel. We're not even on the same floor. We sometimes eat lunch together and the drive there and back. That's about it. Not much to be jealous of - " 

"Charlie doesn't know that," Sara interrupted. "You're gone with Daniel for eight or ten hours at a time. How do you think that makes him feel?"  

"It's work. I can't take Charlie to work." It was an argument he couldn't fully explain and therefore could never win.  

"But you can take Daniel. Even I have a hard time understanding that. Imagine how it seems to Charlie. Cut him some slack. He came in and told us because he felt bad about it. It's not his fault. It's our fault. We're the grown ups, we're supposed to remember this kind of thing. We wouldn't have forgotten Charlie's birthday." 

"We've had more years to practice," Jack mumbled guiltily.  

"You're mad at yourself," Sara said with certainty. 

As always, she had a point. He thought back over the day, Daniel's quietness at the Mountain and the questions about Sam's whereabouts. Shit! Why couldn't Daniel be a normal kid and enthuse over his birthday and gift possibilities for weeks prior to the actual day?   

"So, what are we going to do about it?" he asked, much more subdued. 

"We're going to celebrate a birthday tomorrow," Sara said determinedly.  "You can take the boys to the store in the morning and pick up some hamburger rolls and have Daniel pick out some ice cream. And don't forget barbecued potato chips. He loves those. Meanwhile, I'll bake a cake. We'll have hamburgers on the grill and potato chips and cake and ice cream."   

Jack couldn't help admiring his wife. If it had been up to him, he would have yelled at Charlie and apologized profusely to what probably would have been a thoroughly embarrassed Daniel, in the end putting more distance between the boys. Sara was so smart. Jack gave himself a little credit, too, at least he'd been smart enough to marry her.  

"What about a gift?" he asked, getting into the swing of it. Sara was doing great coming up with a plan so she probably had a perfect last minute gift idea, too. Jack had no idea what to get a kid like Daniel. Time was normally Jack's gift to Charlie. He and Sara would get Charlie a small gift to open but the main gift was the card. In it Jack would describe what they'd do together to celebrate. A fishing trip, a ballgame, or tickets to an air show. Whatever it was it was something special that they both looked forward to.     

"You could take the boys camping." It had taken a while but Sara finally came up with something just like he knew she would.  

"Camping?" He wasn't sure Daniel would like camping but Sara had been right about everything else.  

"Camping," she confirmed. "I think it would be fun and Daniel needs to get outdoors more."   

"Both of them?" He better ask to be sure. After all it was Daniel's birthday.  

"Yes, both of them. Maybe you could do some sort of male bonding thing with them."   

"What sort of thing is that?" What could Sara possibly know about male bonding rituals?  

"How would I know?  Whatever it is guys do when they get together without women." She practically snorted. "Just don't do anything stupid or dangerous," she added. 

"Stupid? Like what?" Jack huffed at that. He was a Colonel in the Air Force for crying out loud.  

Sara didn't hesitate. "Chewing tobacco, spitting, brush cuts, eating til you puke... need I go on?"  

Geez, she could have at least taken a few minutes to think about it. As if he'd let the boys do most of that stuff, anyway. "No," he grumbled, knowing he better cut her off while he was ahead. At least she hadn't nixed belching and farting contests. "What's wrong with brush cuts?"  

"Good night, Jack. I love you." She kissed his lips lightly and turned over on her side to sleep.   

"Night, honey." Jack pulled the sheet up around them and wondered if coming home with matching tattoos would constitute stupid.  

"Rise and shine, kiddo. Up and at'em. Chop, chop, the day's a wastin'."  

Daniel sat up with a start and rubbed his eyes. "What time is it, Jack? Are we going to work today?" 

"No, no work. It's almost nine o'clock and I don't want you sleeping your birthday away. We're going to the store for some hamburger rolls, and you need to pick out your ice cream and tell Sara what kind of cake and frosting you want. Get dressed, we don't have all day, buddy."  

Before Jack could leave the room Daniel was awake enough to state the obvious. "Wait, Jack. Today's not my birthday."  

Jack was ready for this. Sara had coached him. They'd apologize for the amnesiac moment once and then move on. They wouldn't dwell on it or turn it into a bigger deal than what it was, apologize and move on.   

He sat down on the bed. "We know your birthday was yesterday, Daniel. Sara and I are both sorry that we didn't remember until it was too late." He'd leave Charlie out of the equation. "But," Jack raised his index finger for emphasis, "On the upside, instead of your big day being over and done with, the celebration is just beginning. Sorry, kiddo. What do you say? Can we celebrate today?"   

When Daniel didn't immediately answer Jack worried that the kid may not be onboard with the belated birthday party. 

"I was born at 11:50 pm on July 8th so today is really the first whole day I'm actually eleven," Daniel finally said gamely.  

"That's the spirit!" Jack smiled broadly. Daniel Jackson was great at adjusting. "Be ready in ten minutes. Let the celebration begin!"  

 On to Part 4    Back to Part2

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