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Chapter
1
It
had finally happened.
Mr.
Denton's right fist had put him, Daniel
Jackson, ten-going-on-sixty years old, in the hospital. It took
four months and fourteen days, if anyone besides himself was
counting. Mr. Denton wasn't a bad man, just a man whose drinking
problem had finally caught up with him. Mrs. Denton, Martha, he
was supposed to call her Martha, was kindly, and like many other
foster moms, took in children in an effort to make up for the
lack of love and caring in her own life, which Daniel supposed
was worse since Martha was well aware of her husband's little
problem.
It
was silly but a part of him hated to see the placement end. He
liked the school he attended, his room was cool in that he
didn't have to share, and eighty percent of the time the
Denton's home was relatively calm and stress-free. On the other
hand, the twenty percent was a bitch landing him in the hospital
with two cracked ribs, a black eye and a swollen lip. He looked
like one of the Saturday afternoon wrestlers Mr. Denton was so
fond of shouting at.
"Daniel,
dinner." It was Sara O'Neill, his favorite nurse.
It
wasn't normal, but Daniel liked hospitals. The staff was usually
nice, and for the most part, they left you alone except to bring
food and occasionally check your temperature and blood pressure.
He had books to read and no worries of school and teachers and
bullies and Mr. Denton's drinking habits.
"This
isn't from the cafeteria!" Daniel's face lit up with
delight when he lifted the lid covering his supper to reveal a
fat, beef burrito smothered in salsa and sour cream with refried
beans and chips on the side.
Nurse
Sara chuckled at his enthusiasm. "No, you caught me. This
is from El Charros. My husband tells me it's the best. He should
know, he's a connoisseur of all things take-out. Take a bite and
tell me what you think."
Daniel
did as she suggested. "It's great! Thank you, Sara,"
he beamed, smiling his brightest smile.
"No
problem. I thought you might be getting sick of hospital
food." She sat down in the chair beside his bed and brushed
the hair off his forehead. "So how are you feeling?"
Not
an easy question. Daniel Jackson hated being any trouble, but he
also had no desire to leave the comfort of the hospital and the
company of his nurse, confidant, and caretaker. "My ribs
are still a little sore." He wrinkled his nose and rubbed
them gently for emphasis. A compromise. They were still a little
sore, though not near the sting of what they were when he had
been admitted.
"You're
getting there," she encouraged. "You finish eating and
I'll come back for our walk." She put her hand on his
shoulder and squeezed and for a second he could imagine he was
her friend and not her job. Briefly, he wondered if she snuck
other patients take-out food. Probably, he wasn't anyone
special.
Mindful
of savoring every mouthful, Daniel ate slowly, daydreaming about
finding a new home with someone loving and kind like his own mom
had been. Not Sara, she was married with a boy around his age
and that never worked out. Not only that, she had a husband who
was in the military and husbands were always scary. Long ago he
had decided that the only nice dad in the world had been his
own. So not Sara, but someone like Sara, only single and
childless. He had to admit the odds of finding a new, acceptable
home were practically nonexistent, but hey, a kid can dream,
can't he?
Daniel
finished the last tasty bite and washed it down with the milk on
his tray and waited for Sara to take him on his walk around the
ward. There weren't many kids around tonight which was good, he
could monopolize Sara's time without feeling guilty. Maybe she'd
let him help organize her paperwork again. He was good at that.
"Ready?"
"Yep."
He drew the covers down and waited until her strong hands
reached below his armpits to help steady him, luxuriating in the
few seconds of gentle human contact.
They
started their routine evening trek down the hall, Daniel walking
slower than his injuries warranted.
"Do
you know where you're going after you're discharged?" The
genuine concern in her voice warmed his heart.
"No.
I'll miss the Denton's."
From
her reaction, he guessed he shouldn't have said that. Sara was
looking at him strangely and he felt the need to further
explain. "Trade offs," he said quietly. "I liked
my room and my school."
"No
one deserves to be hit, honey."
A
surprise lump rose in his throat when she leaned over and kissed
his hair.
"Sara?"
A few awkward moments had passed and Daniel decided a change of
subject was in order. The last thing he wanted was for people to
feel sorry for him.
"Yes,
Daniel?" She rubbed his shoulder and looked at him when he
spoke, as if he had something important to say. He liked
that. No one had looked at him like that since... The Accident.
That's what the adults called it. The Accident. As if it were
spilled milk or the wrong brand of coffee. The two people who
mattered most were gone and he was alone. An
"accident" cheapened it into something benign and
acceptable. Then again, it was hard to find the right words. If
there were any right words.
"Thank
you for bringing me a special dinner. I have money in my
backpack if you need it."
"Forget
it. Don't be silly." She waved off the notion of payback
with another light squeeze to his shoulder.
"It
was really nice of you. You had to go out of your way and spend
your own money, too." There wasn't much time left to his
hospital stay, a day, two at the most, and he wanted her to
understand his appreciation. "I won't forget," he
insisted.
Sara
walked beside him and frowned as she wrote on his chart.
"It was nothing, Daniel. No trouble at all. El Charros is
right on my way to work."
He
nodded his agreement even though she was wrong. It was
something, and tonight when he was supposed to be asleep he'd
write about it in his journal. An act of true kindness, so rare
in the past two years that it needed to be recorded, celebrated,
revered and remembered.
The
front door burst open and immediately slammed shut. Sara
winced, smiled, and shook her head.
“Sara?
You home?”
“In
the kitchen, Jack,” she called.
A
moment later strong arms closed around her from behind and he
kissed the nape of her neck.
“Hey,
honey. Everything going okay today?”
She
turned around and gave him a quick kiss. “Considering
half the staff is out with the flu and the rest of us are
pulling double shifts I could say everything is wonderful but
I'd be lying.”
Jack
leaned back for a better look. “No wonder you look so
beat. You're not getting sick, too, are you?”
Sara
laughed and pulled out of his grasp. “I'll take that as an
expression of concern and not as a comment on how I look.”
“What?”
Jack huffed air, giving her an indignant look. “You look
great, as always. I just asked if...”
“I'm
perfectly healthy, thank you for your concern. I'm just
starting dinner so it's going to be at least a half hour before
it's ready. You've got time for a shower and a quick look
at the sports page.”
Jack
grinned but Sara was surprised to see his look of concern
lingering.
“You
just finished a double shift. Why don't you take it easy
and I'll order something to be delivered.”
She
smiled and gave his face a caressing stroke. “Thanks for
the thought but you know I enjoy cooking. It helps me
unwind. Go, get out of my kitchen.”
“It's
awfully quiet around here. Where's Charlie?” he asked,
retreating to the doorway.
“He's
having dinner at Spencer's. He's also spending the night
there.”
“On
a school night?” Jack's eyebrows rose.
“This
is a test run,” she assured him. “I told Charlie that
any possible future repeats will depend on how well he handles
this one.”
Jack
sighed. “Well, he's not a little kid anymore. I
guess we can give it a try.”
“Thank
you for the vote of confidence,” she said dryly.
He
grinned, threw her a kiss, and disappeared, only to reappear a
minute later.
“This
means we have the house to ourselves tonight, right?” he
demanded.
Sara
laughed at his hopeful expression. “What'd you have in
mind, sailor? Some kind of orgy?”
“Wrong
branch of the military,” Jack reminded her. “And I was
thinking about a one-on-one orgy. Maybe in front of the
fireplace? Interested?”
She
shook her head, unable to suppress another laugh.
“Possibly, Flyboy. Get back to me after dinner.”
“Oh,
yeah!”
He
disappeared again and Sara headed for the pantry. They had
the chicken breasts left over from last night. She had
fresh broccoli, yellow squash and red bell peppers in the
refrigerator. And angel hair pasta. That's what
she'd make for dinner. Chicken pasta primavera. Add
a salad and they'd be all set.
And
then?
Sara
knew what Jack was looking forward to tonight. So was she,
but she had another agenda he didn't know about and that would
have to be resolved before any kind of orgy could occur.
Or should she wait until after?
She
thought back to her last conversation with young Daniel Jackson,
just before her shift had ended. Her heart ached at the
memory of his surprise when she had presented him with the meal
from El Charros. More than surprised, he had been momentarily
speechless.
A
surge of anger broke into the memory. What had happened to
that sweet little boy that a simple act of kindness had shocked
him into silence? She knew part of the story. An
abusive foster parent.
Pain
broke her concentration and Sara looked down to see her hands
clasped into fists so tight her nails were cutting into her
palms. She flexed her fingers and sighed over the
indentations in her skin. It was nothing compared to what had
happened to Daniel.
Sara
had a bachelor's degree in nursing and intended to go on for her
master's one day. She had taken all of the required
courses and knew, intellectually, the reasons behind child
abuse. But her intellect failed her before the reality of
Daniel's bruises and cracked ribs.
Her
eyes burned and she hastily rubbed at them with the back of her
hand. Beyond her fury at what had happened, and her
sadness for the pain Daniel had suffered through no fault of his
own, was a growing anger at the system that was supposed to
protect him.
No
one had come to see Daniel at the hospital. Not one
person. A woman from Social Services had appeared the
night he was admitted but that had been simply to take a report.
There were occasional phone calls from the department checking
on his status but the person at the other end never asked about
Daniel, never showed any real interest. No one had
exhibited one iota of concern for an abused ten-year-old boy.
Sara
wasn't sure when the idea first came to her or if it were even
possible. For the idea to have any chance of success, she
was going to have to get Jack to agree and that wasn't going to
be easy.
His
schedule at Cheyenne Mountain was crazy, and her own schedule at
the hospital kept her busy. Not to mention the double
shifts she was currently committed to. If their schedules
weren't big enough obstacles, there was their son, Charlie,
eleven going on thirty, except for sometimes when he seemed to
be going on five. He was the light of their lives and, on
occasion, the bane of their existence.
To
bring another child into their busy lives, to ask Charlie to
share his parents with a stranger... Sara sighed in uncertainty.
As much as she wanted Daniel out of the hospital and a part of
their hectic but loving family, she wasn't sure she had the
right to ask that of Jack and Charlie.
First
things first. In this case, the first thing was to get Jack to
visit Daniel. Considering how much Jack loved kids, she
hoped he wouldn't be able to say no once he actually met the
boy.
Two
hours and a one-on-one orgy later, Sara and Jack were curled up
together on the sofa. Only one lamp was turned on; the
rest of the light came from the dying fire in the fireplace.
Jack
exhaled and his breath tickled her ear. “Guess I should
put another log on,” he observed with a yawn.
Sara
laughed softly. “Not if you're about to fall asleep.”
“Mmm,”
he murmured. “Maybe we should take this upstairs.
Our bed's bigger than this couch and more comfortable than the
rug.”
“In
a little bit,” Sara temporized. “First we need to
talk.”
“About
what?”
Sara
had thought hard about how to bring up the issue but hadn't been
able to settle on a particular approach. Just throw it out
there, she decided.
“I'd
like you to come by the hospital tomorrow.”
“Why?”
His arms loosened their grip on her and he shifted so he could
look at her face.
“There's
someone I'd like you to meet.”
Jack
listened to what she had to say with a growing sense of
foreboding. He liked to think he was a good husband and
father. At least he tried to be. After fifteen years
of marriage he was still crazy about his wife. She was
smart and funny and beautiful, kind and caring, and she
possessed an inner strength that awed him.
She
also had an incredibly soft heart for strays and waifs and other
orphans of the storm. He wasn't surprised she had taken up
this boy's cause as her own. What concerned him was how
far she intended to take it.
Sara
had finished and was looking at him expectantly. Not a
good thing when he didn't agree with her.
“This
isn't a good time for me to take time off,” he finally said.
“Things are busy at the mountain. General West wouldn't be too
thrilled with me disappearing in the middle of the day.”
“It
doesn't have to be in the middle of the day,” Sara said
patiently. “You could come by the hospital tomorrow
night on your way home. He's all alone, Jack. He
hasn't had one visitor all week and he's going to be released
back to Social Services in two days. All I'm asking is
that you take a little time to say hi, let him know that someone
other than a hospital employee cares about what happens to him.
Just be a friend to him.”
She
was being so reasonable. So caring. He could feel
his resistance growing, despite a twinge of shame. Don't
think about the boy, Jack ordered himself. He couldn't
afford to weaken here.
“Sara?”
he said warningly. “Tell me the truth.”
Her
clear blue eyes met his. “I always do,” she said
matter-of-factly.
“Right,”
Jack acknowledged. “Are you thinking about us fostering
this kid?”
“His
name is Daniel.”
“Are
you thinking about us fostering Daniel?” He refused to give an
inch.
“Right
now all I'm thinking about is how much he needs a friend.”
She slipped out of his arms and leaned back, studying him with a
thoughtful expression that always made him nervous.
"Why
are you being so stubborn? I just want you to meet him."
Jack
bit his tongue. That's the same thing she had said about the
puppy, the goldfish and the short-lived ferret fiasco. Come to
think of it, that's how they purchased their last car. 'I don't
want to buy it; I just want you to see it.' Ha!
"I
don't need to meet him," he said cautiously. "What's
the point if he'll be gone in two days?"
"Jack!
Don't be that way. You like kids. He's lonely. I don't
understand your objection."
"If
we're not seriously entertaining the idea of taking him in then
what possible point would there be to my meeting him?"
She'd have to come clean. She couldn't deny that bit of logic.
She
folded her arms and shot him a dirty look. Or could she?
A
light went on. They should meet. It was serious. Because...
because maybe she had already decided. This wasn't just
about fostering the kid. This was more. Damn it! It wasn't fair.
"We
agreed on having another child," she reminded him from the
same determined pose.
That
was true, he had agreed. Sort of... "We agreed on
adopting a baby girl, not a ten-year-old traumatized boy. What
about Charlie? Have you thought about him?"
"I'll
talk to Charlie." Her lips pursed in thought before she
took a deep cleansing breath and narrowed her eyes for good
measure. "Don't even pretend you're thinking about Charlie.
You're thinking about you."
Shit.
She was probably right.
In
his defense, Jack already worried about being home enough for
Charlie; now he would have someone else to worry about. What if
the kid turned out to have serious problems? Sara would be left
alone to deal with all of it while he was away playing soldier.
Worst of all, he was positive he could never love another boy as
much as he loved Charlie. A girl would have been different, a
whole new ballgame. Was that fair to this unknown boy? He
debated whether he should share his concerns with his unshakable
wife.
One
look at her face convinced him not to waste his breath. He threw
up his hands in surrender. "Okay, you win, I'll meet him.
What's one more kid to take to batting practice and shag fly
balls?"
She
relaxed and snickered. "Daniel's not really the baseball
type."
"Football?"
"I
don't think so."
"Hockey?"
She
scoffed at that one.
"No
hockey?"
"He
grew up in Egypt."
"Ah.
He can learn. And if he doesn't like sports I'm versatile. We
can do other things like... fishing. We can fish." He
talked with smooth confidence to cover his doubt. A military
trick.
She
wrapped her arms around his waist. "I hate to tell you
this, honey, but fishing is a sport."
"Not
the way I fish." He turned around and kissed her lips.
She
kissed him back soundly before pulling away to frown.
"Jack..."
"Hmm?"
"When
you go to see him... don't... you know."
"What?"
He eyed her closely, still warm and fuzzy from the kiss.
"Don't
crowd him. He's been through a lot."
"Crowd
him? What are you talking about? I'm not going to crowd him.
I'll just be myself," he said with more bravado than he
felt.
"That's
exactly what I'm talking about."
Jack
gazed at her in growing confusion.
"You
can be yourself," she relented. "Just try to be a
little less yourself than usual. Okay?"
"Less...
me?" he grumbled indignantly. He started to rise but she
stopped him.
"Jack?"
His
breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. She was
positively glowing.
"I
love you."
Jack
leaned in to kiss her lips and smell her hair. "I love you,
too."
Chapter
2
Daniel
turned a page but when he couldn't remember what he'd just read,
he closed the book with an irritated slam. He glanced at
the half-eaten dinner tray sitting beside the bed and made a
face. Why did hospitals have to overcook everything?
Always. And they served it to sick people, which only
compounded the crime as far as he was concerned.
He
thought back to the delicious meal Sara had brought him from...
what was the name of that restaurant? He couldn't remember
but it didn't matter. In a little over a day he'd be back
at the Home.
That
was a bad joke, calling that place a home. But it's where
he kept ending up between foster homes.
Daniel
sighed and gave his head a shake. It didn't matter.
He could do this. He had to. It was just like
walking, putting one foot in front of the other. It didn't
matter if the path was occasionally difficult. He'd just
keep putting one foot in front of the other until one day he was
through the system and able to be out on his own.
Meanwhile,
he'd just keep walking...
Daniel
glanced at the open door and swallowed hard. As much as he
didn't like thinking about the Home, it was better than worrying
about the unwanted visitor.
He
wanted to be angry with Nurse Sara but he couldn't, despite the
alarming news she had given him this afternoon - her husband was
coming by to introduce himself and say hi.
“I
hope you'll like him,” she said. “He's a nice guy,
although I admit he does have a screwy sense of humor.”
“Why
is he coming here?” Daniel had been pleased by the calmness of
his voice.
“He's
heard me talking about you and thought it'd be nice to meet
you.”
As
much as he liked Nurse Sara, Daniel didn't believe her. From the
things she had said, her husband was career military, a Colonel
in the Air Force no less, and he was a big sports fan.
Daniel couldn't imagine anyone he'd have less in common with
than this man.
He
looked down at the book in his lap. He'd be willing to bet
anything that Colonel O'Neill wouldn't be interested in this
book.
Daniel
knew what was going on. He had begun to suspect it a
couple of days ago. Nurse Sara was so nice, she had gone
out of her way to bring special meals and ask him about the
kinds of things he liked. She had even brought him this
book from the local library. All of her efforts didn't help ease
the growing lump in his throat.
He
was on trial again. He knew it. And he hated the
feeling.
Colonel
O'Neill wasn't coming by to say hi. He was coming by to
study him, to see if he'd be willing to take the poor orphaned
kid into his home.
Daniel
had been through it numerous times in the last two years.
He knew the signs, he even knew the stages. At first
everyone was excited and welcomed him into their household.
Soon afterward came the slow disenchantment, the gradual
realization that he didn't fit, didn't belong. Sometimes
it only took a couple of weeks, sometimes he lasted a few
months. Eventually the experiment ended and he wound up
back at the Home, waiting to go through the painful process all
over again with the next family.
As
much as Daniel liked Sara, she had a husband and a son.
Experience taught him those situations never worked out.
Not for him.
He
knew it, hated it, and was helpless to change it. Just as
he had been helpless to change Nurse Sara's mind, as hard as he
had tried.
Now
he was waiting. Again. Waiting to be judged, knowing
that, sooner or later, he would be found inadequate. Just
like always.
"Hi.
Daniel Jackson? I'm Jack, Jack O'Neill."
Daniel
looked up to see a stranger standing in the doorway. The
man was tall and lean, very tan and fit-looking. Despair
filled him. If he needed any evidence to prove his theory
that this would never work out, the sight of this man confirmed
it.
Maybe
if he ignored the man he'd go away. It was probably a
forlorn hope, but at this point he was desperate to avoid being
rejected. Again.
"Jack
O'Neill, Nurse Sara's husband?" The tall man in the jeans
wasn't giving up easily.
"Hi,"
Daniel managed, barely covering his disappointment. Damn it! He
only had a precious day or two left here and he wanted to spend
the time with Sara. Not playacting and making nice with her
husband.
"Watchya
reading?"
To
Daniel's great disappointment, Jack O'Neill pulled the chair
closer to the bed and settled in. He didn't look like he'd be
leaving any time soon.
"Just
a book." Daniel hastily closed it and set it aside, away
from Sara's husband, who didn't seem like the type who would
enjoy "An Archaeologist's View of Ancient Mayan
Culture."
"So,
Sara says you're feeling better and will be getting out of this
joint soon."
Daniel
nodded to be polite in deference to Sara and pushed up his
glasses.
"Got
any plans?"
To
Daniel's dismay the husband reached over and picked up the book
and began fiddling with the pages. "Not really. I don't get
to make my own plans." He kept one eye on the man and the
other on the book, hoping the man wouldn't ruin it.
"If
you could make your own plans what would they be?"
Daniel
flushed under the scrutiny. For some reason it felt like Sara's
husband could see inside of him.
"Nothing?"
the relentless man prodded, his eyes maintaining contact while
his fingers continued to absently flip the pages back and forth.
Daniel
relaxed a bit, deciding the man had no intention of ripping the
book, it seemed to be more of a nervous habit. "I-I guess
I'd go live with my grandfather and help him with his
work."
"Ah,
sounds like a good plan."
Daniel
lowered his head, wishing he hadn't expressed that thought out
loud. He normally kept those personal dreams to himself. Come to
think of it, no one had ever asked him. Something made him
add, "Except my grandfather doesn't... well, he's too busy
right now to take me in. He probably will when I'm older,” he
quickly amended.
He
squirmed when the husband didn't immediately answer.
Daniel had been hoping for that particular dream to come true
since getting beyond the initial shock of The Accident. It was a
hope that only worked when he was able to forget about Grandpa
Nick's obvious disinterest in him.
The
husband nodded. "So, what do you like to do for fun?"
"Fun?"
Daniel blinked and cleared his throat, stalling for time. Aside
from studying languages and ancient Egyptian text, he didn't
find much fun. Sara's husband didn't know him but the man's
questions had a knack for invading his comfort zone.
"Yeah,
fun. Sports, rollerblading, wrestling, computer games, music...
fishing. Do ya like fishing?"
Despite
the pitifully long pause nothing came to mind. He had never
fished a day in his life. "Reading," he finally
muttered.
Daniel
was horrified when Sara's husband turned over the book he'd been
playing with and silently scanned the title before letting out a
low whistle.
"It's
fun to me." Daniel's cheeks flushed pink as he clarified.
Ten
hours, that only registered as thirty minutes on the clock,
passed before Sara's husband mercifully rose from the chair to
leave.
"Nice
meeting you, Daniel."
"You
too," Daniel cheerfully lied, not relaxing until the door
closed after the tall figure. Even though he could relax
physically, it didn't help much mentally.
Holding
his book to his chest he sighed over the visit and the
nerve-wracking questions. Yep, no doubt about it. He
had definitely been on trial. And he'd been found guilty.
"Hey,
Daniel." Finally. Sara was a breath of fresh air in the
stale, antiseptic smelling room.
"Did
you like Jack?" She sat down in the chair her husband had
recently vacated.
"Sure,
Sara, he's fine." If you like root canals and Avian flu.
"Are you working today or just visiting?" If she
wasn't working she had come in special, just to see him, and
that was something he'd record and savor as soon as he had the
chance.
Sara
smiled but didn't answer. It was obvious she had something
else on her mind. "Daniel, there's something I want to talk
to you about."
She
sounded serious and his heart dropped. She had come in
right after her husband had left. He knew what that meant
and tried to distract her.
"Do
you need the money back from dinner the other day?"
"No,
of course not." Her eyes scrunched in confusion for a
second before she smiled. "Jack and I were wondering if
you'd like to come and stay with us for awhile."
He
ducked his head not wanting her to see his eyes.
Obviously, she hadn't talked to her husband yet. She
didn't know he had flunked the Colonel's inspection.
Or,
maybe she had said it on a whim. Out of duty, or pity.
He'd give her an easy out. "Um... you need to be certified
for that."
She
looked disappointed and Daniel felt a slight jab of pain in his
gut that had nothing to do with his ribs. That obviously wasn't
the answer she'd been hoping to hear.
"Jack
and I are approved. I can't have any more children and we've
been talking about fostering or adopting for a while now. It's
up to you, Daniel, but we'd love to have you."
Her
enthusiasm was back and he didn't want to disappoint her again.
It
was a tough call. If he said yes, he was setting himself up for
disappointment. Two years in the foster care system had
taught him that much. No matter how hard he tried, he
never fit in.
He
had nothing in common with her husband. Besides that,
Daniel was stubborn and headstrong and had a penchant for not
listening, for doing things his own way. Sara liked him
now but she wouldn't like him nearly as much when the placement
inevitably ended. It seemed the more you knew people and
the more they knew you, the less everyone got along. At least
that had been his experience to date.
That
said, going back to the Home would be hard to take. The
temporary group homes tended to be loud and crowded and hard to
deal with. Better to face the unknown and hope for the best.
Even if it only lasted a few months, he'd be ahead of the game,
a few months closer to being a grown up. To being
independent and free to make his own choices.
"Okay,
let's try it," he answered softly, wondering how long it
would last this time and how much it would hurt when they
decided he wasn't good enough to be a part of their family.
"Great,"
she said, her eyes shining. "We'll see how it goes. If you
want to leave at any time let me know, okay?"
It
wouldn't last. It never did but for a while he could daydream
and pretend and if he was lucky, eat a few more El Charro
burritos before it all came crashing down like the giant cover
stone in the New York City Museum. Life could change in the
blink of an eye. One chink in the armor, one weak link and it
was all over. There was nothing he could do but prepare himself,
steel himself, bide his time and wait for that glorious day when
he'd cross the threshold into adulthood and leave his painful
childhood behind.
Sara
led Daniel upstairs to unpack and he was thrilled to discover he
had his own room. He hadn't expected that. He was sure he'd be
sharing a room with Charlie and that would only speed up his
certain exit.
When
he hoisted up his suitcase to unpack he noted the single bed
looked brand new. How lucky could he get!
"Come
on, I'll introduce you to Charlie and then we'll have some
lunch. You can unpack later."
Daniel
reluctantly left the suitcase on the bed and followed Sara down
the hall. This was the part he dreaded. Being the new kid was
always difficult, and if foster life had taught him anything, it
was that the 'real' kids never had much use for the 'new' kids.
Charlie
was sitting on his bed studying a model airplane. Daniel guessed
he was most likely sitting there waiting to meet the poor orphan
kid from the hospital. He was surprised when Charlie's face lit
up with a smile as Sara introduced him. He could be faking the
smile for his mom's benefit but Daniel could usually spot that,
even if most moms couldn't.
"I'll
leave you two to talk and get acquainted."
Even
though Sara left the door open, Daniel felt trapped and
uncomfortable. He was never good at meeting new kids. It never
went well after the parents left and he never understood why.
"Hi!"
Charlie smiled and seemed genuinely enthused so Daniel took a
deep breath and smiled back. "I'm Charlie." Charlie
set the model down on the bed and offered his hand so Daniel
shook it.
"I'm
sorry your mom and dad died," Charlie said solemnly.
Daniel
stayed quiet wondering if there was going to be a punch line.
That type of statement was usually followed up with "but
you can't have mine" or something to that effect. Charlie
didn't seem to have a follow-up though and Daniel decided maybe
Charlie meant it, he was sorry. The whole idea of moms and dads
dying bothered him. Probably scared the heck out of him, as well
it should. There was nothing scarier. Daniel should know, he was
living the nightmare.
He
wasn't sure how to respond. Adults never said things that
direct. Charlie seemed sincere though and maybe it was better to
say it out loud and clear the air.
"I
hope you like staying with us," Charlie added in an effort
to break the uncomfortable silence.
Daniel
still could only nod dumbly. This was the first new kid, and
certainly the first "real" kid, who didn't hate his
guts on sight. He supposed he should say something nice but he
had no idea what would be appropriate.
"Do
you like airplanes?" Charlie changed the subject and filled
in the silence, holding out the model plane for his scrutiny.
"I
guess." Daniel accepted the plane and looked it over. He
hadn't given airplanes much thought one way or the other but it
would be rude to say that.
"That's
not really an airplane," Charlie said enthusiastically.
"It's a jet. My dad's a pilot. He flies jets, well,
he used to, and he flew one just like this. We built it
together."
Daniel
stared at the jet and blinked back unexpected tears, envisioning
Jack and Charlie hunched over the model working on it together.
It reminded him of his dad sitting beside him in Egypt, his sure
hand guiding his in the correct method of unearthing an
artifact.
"It's
all right if you don't like models," Charlie said quickly.
He took the prized jet and placed it back on the desk with the
other models. "Do you like sports?" he asked with the
same enthusiasm. "I play baseball, basketball and hockey.
I'd play football, too, but my mom won't let me. She thinks it's
too dangerous." Charlie rolled his eyes at that and waited
expectantly for an answer.
Daniel
hated to be a disappointment but the reality was that he didn't
play any of those sports. Growing up in Egypt hadn't exposed him
to American sports and he found he had no aptitude or interest.
Why would he? No one had ever taken the time to explain how the
games were played, they just expected him to know.
Daniel
shook his head and waited for the real kid's attitude toward him
to change.
"How
old are you?" Charlie asked, undeterred.
"Ten,"
Daniel answered, wondering what that had to do with anything.
"Cool!
Little League is starting next week. You can sign up and we can
play on the same team. My dad helps coach when he can. He's away
a lot so he can't be the head coach."
Charlie
must really like sports. Duh, Daniel. One look at
all the trophies in the room should have made that obvious.
The
older boy was really making an effort. Daniel figured he
should say something and sports seemed like the safest topic.
“You
play lots of sports,” he observed.
Charlie's
smile widened. “Oh, yeah. I'm even going to the
Fantasy Sports Week Camp at the end of August!”
Daniel
had no idea what Charlie was talking about but while he debated
asking, his new, temporary foster brother rushed on.
“It's
so cool! Pro athletes from football and baseball and
soccer all come together for the week, they run different
clinics every day, and you get to practice with them and get
pointers and everything. I signed up two years ago but the
waiting list is so long this'll be my first chance to go.”
Some of his excitement abated and he gave Daniel an apologetic
look. “I'm sorry you won't be able to come along.”
Why
did Charlie have to be so nice? Daniel was shocked to find that
the 'real' kid being nice didn't make things any easier. It
actually made it harder. He had always assumed nothing ever
worked out because of the foster parents, or the other foster
kids, or the 'real' kids. It was a jolt to realize that he
himself might be part of the problem as well. He didn't like
baseball and didn't want to play, he had only recently become
aware that American football wasn't soccer, and he had no idea
what one did in the sport of hockey. And, he had no desire to
build model airplanes. A model of Tutankhamen's tomb or of the
temple at Luxor might have been a different story.
Maybe
the placements weren't the problem. It hurt to admit but maybe
he was the problem. He didn't belong in America. He didn't
belong anywhere.
"I'm
going to go unpack," he announced to a stunned,
disappointed Charlie.
"Are
you going to sign up for Little League?" Charlie asked
hopefully.
Daniel
had to admire Charlie's persistence. "No," he managed
on his way out the door. He didn't need that humiliation.
Sara
was surprised at how subdued the boys were during lunch. She had
been so proud of Charlie when she and Jack had explained
Daniel's circumstances and the fact that they wanted to take him
in. Charlie had been all for it. He was active and sociable and
Sara had always felt bad that he was an only child. Despite the
fact he was all boy, underneath it all, her son had a heart of
gold. Just like his father. They had both been proud and Jack
had told Charlie so, out loud. Sara wondered what had happened
to take the wind out of her son's sails.
The
boys sat around the kitchen table eating boloney sandwiches
while she chatted about what a nice spring day it was to fill in
the lack of conversation. She was just about to ask if anything
was wrong when Jack came bursting through the door with his
usual exuberance. He had promised to try to get out of work by
noon to spend time with the boys and she was grateful he had
managed it. She hated when Jack had to work weekends, mainly
because she knew it disappointed Charlie. Sure enough, her son
lit up at the sight of his father. Sara noted that Daniel didn't
look nearly as impressed.
"Do
you have to go back to work?" Charlie asked the question on
her mind.
"Not
til Monday." Jack smiled and Sara marveled at how much her
guys mirrored each other. Now if only they could get Daniel to
smile. She had no doubt it was just a matter of time until
Daniel felt comfortable enough to laugh and joke and feel
accepted. For today, she'd leave that task to Jack. He was a
master at coaxing smiles and laughter.
"What
do you say we get out of your mother's hair and go down to the
park?"
Daniel
heard the offer with a surge of dismay. He'd done his best
to maintain a pleasant front throughout the unending afternoon
but he wasn't sure he could keep it up much longer. He
hadn't missed Charlie's slipping smile when Jack included him in
the invitation. It had only lasted a second before Charlie
nodded agreeably, but Daniel had seen it. He knew when he
wasn't wanted. Pushing himself forward, especially so
early in a new foster situation, was a guarantee of a quick
departure.
“Um...
actually, I'm kind of tired,” he said.
Daniel
squirmed as Jack eyed him intently. Those dark brown eyes
seemed to see right through him and he had a panicky thought
that the man knew he was lying.
“Of
course you are,” Sara said quickly. “I should have
thought of that. Jack, why don't you and Charlie go?
I'll give Daniel a tour of the house and then he can unpack and
settle in.”
Daniel
watched Jack and Sara exchange long looks. Jack turned to his
son. “What d'ya say, buddy? You willing to spend a
little time with your old man?”
Charlie
grinned broadly. “Sure, Dad! Hey, how about doing
some batting practice while we're there?”
“Good
plan,” Jack nodded vigorously. “Let's get the
equipment.”
Charlie
whooped and charged up the stairs and Jack gave Sara a quick
kiss. “We'll be back in a little while.”
“Take
your time,” Sara said. “This will give Daniel and I a
chance to get better acquainted.”
She
gave him a warm smile and some of the day's tension eased.
This he could do.
After
Jack and Charlie made a noisy departure, Sara kept her word and
took him on a tour of the house. Because she had lots of
stories to share about the different rooms and the various
items, it took longer than Daniel expected. He didn't
care. Being able to spend time with Sara, almost like he
was her real kid, was a reward in itself.
When
they reached the foot of the stairs, Sara paused. “Well,
now you've seen almost the entire house. I know it's not
fancy but we like it.”
“It's
nice,” Daniel said. He hoped he didn't have to offer
anything more because he didn't know what else to say. A
house was a house. This one seemed okay.
Sara's
lips twitched. “Thank you. I'm glad you think so.
There's just one more thing - ”
The
phone rang and Sara headed toward the kitchen to answer it.
“I'll be right back,” she called over her shoulder.
Daniel
nodded and remained where he was. A minute later he heard
her voice. “Hello? ... Hi, Dad! What did the doctor
say?”
He
shifted uncomfortably. This sounded like a private
conversation. Maybe he should get out of hearing range,
except he wasn't sure where to go. He could go back to the
family room Sara had just showed him. There was a computer
in there that she said would be available to him and Charlie,
for fun, as well as for schoolwork.
His
throat tightened at the thought. He didn't want to go back in
there. The first thing he had spotted when Sara had showed him
the room was the wall of books. She mentioned the books in
this room were available to everyone in the house and had added,
with a laugh, that they had books on practically every subject
except poetry.
Daniel
was pretty sure Sara had meant the remark to be informative, but
her words still sent a rush of hurt through him. Next to
ancient history and languages, poetry had been his mother's
favorite subject. He had no idea how many times he had
fallen asleep at night, lulled by his mother's reading aloud of
one poem or another. Especially Tennyson, he remembered,
swallowing hard. Tennyson had been her favorite.
Daniel
hadn't opened a book of poetry since... since The Accident.
Pain
squeezed his heart. No, he couldn't think about it.
Think about something else, he admonished himself. Sara
was still talking to her father and he didn't want to be
listening, however innocently, to her conversation.
Glancing
around, he noticed a closed door half-way down the hall. He
didn't know what was in there; they hadn't reached that room yet
in Sara's tour.
Daniel
walked quickly down the hall and when he reached the door, he
tried turning the handle. It opened easily and he peered
inside.
It
looked like an office. Jack's office, maybe? The
walls were painted in a camel color and there was a desk of dark
brown wood against the far wall. Green curtains with a
geometric design running through them were drawn across the two
windows and there was a map on the opposite wall. It looked like
a chart of the constellations, Daniel noted in surprise.
There
were built-in bookcases filled with books and he was tempted to
take a closer look. If this was Jack's office, he
suspected he wouldn't need to worry about running across books
of poetry. As he took a step toward them, something else
caught his attention. There was a computer on the desk.
So the one in the family room wasn't the only one in the house.
He
wondered if he would be allowed to use this one. That way
he wouldn't have to worry about cutting into Charlie's computer
time. If this one was hooked up to the internet... yes, he saw
the line running from the computer to a telephone jack.
Was it turned on?
Daniel
moved across the room and went around the desk so he could see
the monitor, then sighed in disappointment at the blank screen.
Maybe he could ask Sara...
His
rambling thoughts came to an end as he looked down at the papers
spread across the desk. There were several pages of
single-spaced text but he ignored those in favor of the
pictures. Without thinking, he picked one up for a better
look.
It
was! It was the Egyptian snake code his parents had
discovered and taught him to read.
What
was it doing here?
His
curiosity aroused, Daniel shuffled quickly through the other
pictures until he reached the last one. It was a picture
of a blackboard with figures scrawled across it, figures which
few people in the world could understand. Daniel
recognized them, thanks to his parents' teaching.
Door
to heaven? How had they got that phrase out of -
His
breath hitched and the picture fell from his suddenly nerveless
hand. In his shuffling of the papers and photos he saw the
original folder. Stamped in large red letters across the front
were the words TOP SECRET.
Daniel
cast a frantic look around the room. His earlier guess had
been right. This was Jack's office. This must be
something from the military, something he shouldn't have seen.
With
his heart pounding loudly, Daniel ran to the door and peeked out
to make sure no one was in sight. Seeing that the coast
was clear, he slipped back into the hall and closed the door
firmly behind him. Wiping damp palms against his jeans, he
hurried for the back door. If anyone wanted him, they
could find him outside.
Chapter
3
Despite
enjoying his own room and the brand new comfortable bed, Daniel
found he had trouble sleeping. He'd fall asleep easily enough
but he wouldn't stay asleep. The dreams would wake him up.
Tonight wasn't any different. Daniel stumbled out of bed and
quietly tiptoed to the bathroom. As he passed Jack and Sara's
door he froze at the sound of voices coming from inside, his
stomach began to churn when he realized they were talking about
him.
"I
did try, Sara. And so did Charlie." Jack sounded a little
aggravated.
"Well,
you need to try harder. After all, he's only been here a
few days. Even Jack O'Neill didn't rise to the rank of
Colonel that quickly."
Daniel
cringed at Sara's flippant words. He hunched his shoulders, his
heart racing with nervous anxiety at how Jack would respond to
that. To his relief, there was no yelling or heaven forbid,
hitting. After it was quiet for a few minutes Daniel crept back
to bed but he couldn't get the overheard conversation out of his
mind. Jack was right, he had tried and so had Charlie. He,
Daniel Jackson, was the only one who hadn't tried.
For
once he couldn't blame the foster parents or the 'real' kid for
his problems. He didn't fit in. He never would. He was too
different. He only ever fit in one time, in one place, and that
place no longer existed. The circumstances and the people could
never be duplicated. Where did that leave him? Even though he
was ten years old and almost grown, he began to cry, stifling
the sounds in his pillow.
His
mom and dad would never again kiss him goodnight or smile at him
like Jack and Sara smiled at Charlie. As much as he hated the
word and had denied it for two years, it was true. He was an
orphan and he would always be an orphan. Nothing could change
that or make it better. Not now, not ever.
It
had been so much easier to blame the foster care system for all
of his problems. If he himself was the problem how could he ever
start a new life? Then again, maybe he didn't really want a new
life.
He
wasn't ready to let go of the old one.
“Here
we are,” Sara said as she turned into the parking lot next to
the school.
“Thanks
for the ride, Mom,” Charlie said, reaching for the door handle
as the car slowed.
“Charlie,
don't you dare!” his mother snapped. “You wait until
we stop.”
“Oh,
Mom,” he groaned, “you're barely moving.”
Sara
braked and turned off the engine before looking at her son
sitting beside her. “Don't 'oh, mom' me,” she said
severely, “You know the rules.”
He
sighed resignedly, “Okay, okay, I'm sorry.”
“That's
better. Have a wonderful day, honey.” Her forbidding
glare was replaced with a smile.
”You, too,” he threw over his shoulder as he burst out of
the car, then paused to look at Daniel who was still sitting in
the back seat. “Umm...”
“Daniel
will be along later,” Sara said.
“Okay,”
Charlie nodded, then gave Daniel a wave before pulling his
backpack over his shoulder and racing toward the hordes of kids
congregating in front of the school.
Daniel
didn't return the wave. He was too busy trying to hide his
nervousness. A new school was often the beginning of the
end for him.
Sara
was standing outside, watching him. Sitting in the car was
only prolonging the inevitable. Forcing a weak smile, he opened
the door and struggled out.
“Thanks
for the ride, Sara, but you really don't have to come in with
me,” he said, for what felt like the tenth time.
Despite
his nerves, her smile warmed him. Daniel had no doubt that
Sara, at least, really wanted him in the house. For awhile
anyway. Eventually, like always, it would change and then he'd
be gone. He needed to remember that so he didn't get to
like her too much.
“You're
welcome, Daniel. Ordinarily, you and Charlie will be
walking to and from school but since the principal asked to meet
with me today about your schedule, I thought we could all drive
in together.”
He
wished he knew the right words to change her mind. It was
bad enough, starting at a new school. To be accompanied by
an adult as if he was a little kid... he was already blushing.
Worst of all, he knew why the principal wanted to see Sara.
He had been through this rigmarole before, every time he began
at a new school and it never got any easier.
Though
Daniel kept his head down, he could feel the eyes on him as he
walked through the laughing, chattering gauntlet of kids.
Sara walked beside him and her presence made his face burn with
embarrassment.
He
didn't feel any better when they entered the building. Kids were
swarming everywhere. He might have slipped by unnoticed
had he been alone. With Sara along everyone was checking
out the new kid.
They
followed the “Administration” sign with an arrow below it,
pointing down another hall. After that turn, they saw the
office.
“Here
we go,” Sara said as she placed one hand lightly on his
shoulder.
Daniel
stiffened. He couldn't help himself. He was allowing
her to get too close. It was dangerous.
Maybe
she picked up on his thought because she took away her hand, and
Daniel felt a fresh wave of embarrassment. He suspected he
had hurt her feelings but didn't know how to make things better.
Sara
stopped in front of a counter, behind it, Daniel could see three
women working away at their computers.
“I'm
Sara O'Neill,” she told the one nearest, “and this is Daniel
Jackson. Today is his first day and Principal Sutton wants
to meet with us.”
The
woman - she had to be pretty old, Daniel thought, since she had
gray in her hair - flipped through some papers on her desk.
“Oh, yes, here it is. If you could have a seat for a
minute, Mr. Sutton should be right with you.”
There
was a wooden bench by the wall and Sara led him over to it.
Daniel sat beside her and tried to slow his anxious breathing.
He'd been through this before and knew what to expect.
Maybe someone would listen to him this time. It wasn't likely,
but he could always hope.
Before
he was ready, a tall, thin, gray-haired man emerged from the
office. “Mrs. O'Neill? I'm the principal, John
Sutton. And this must be Daniel.”
Daniel
was tempted to refuse the man's extended hand. He was
tired of new schools and new teachers and new principals, but
with Sara beside him, watching, he had to respond. He offered
his own hand and tried to ignore the principal's phony smile.
“Right
this way.” After tentatively shaking hands they followed the
man inside.
This
principal's office reminded Daniel of other principals' offices.
It had lots of bookcases - which were always filled with boring
books - a window that let him see outside and a desk made of
fake wood with lots of papers and files piled on top of it.
Some principals' offices only had one chair in front of the
desk, a few had three chairs, but this principal followed the
usual custom of having two.
“Please
have a seat,” he said, closing the door behind him and going
around the desk to his own chair, which was, Daniel noticed,
much nicer than the two visitor's chairs.
Sara
sat down and Daniel took the seat beside her. The principal was
looking at him but Daniel kept his eyes lowered, staring at his
hands folded in his lap.
“Thank
you for coming, Mrs. O'Neill.”
“It's
no problem,” she said graciously.
Daniel
opened his mouth but quickly shut it. Sara had planned to go
over to her father's this morning, plans she had to change when
the school had called to set up this meeting. He had heard
her talking to Jack afterwards and she hadn't been pleased with
the change of plans.
But
if she wanted the principal to think it hadn't been any trouble,
he wasn't about to challenge her.
“Was
there a problem getting Daniel's records from his previous
school?” she asked.
“No,
no, not at all.” There was a note in Sutton's voice that
made Daniel look up. Yep, just as he expected. His stomach
churned. The principal was looking at him as if he was some kind
of... freak.
“We
received his records and I must say they are, for lack of a
better phrase, extremely impressive.” The principal
flashed a wide, artificial smile and Daniel ducked his head
again.
“Along
with his records were the results of some I.Q. tests that were
given nearly two years ago.”
Daniel's
throat tightened at what was sure to follow. He braced
himself, but instead, Sara's voice interrupted.
“I
thought I.Q. tests could only be given with the permission of a
child's parents.” Her words were strong and sure with a
surprising edge of anger in her tone.
Sutton
straightened up and Daniel felt a mean sense of pleasure at the
principal's expression, as if he had been caught telling tales.
“Actually,
it was Social Services who requested the testing. Since
they have the ultimate authority for Daniel, the legal
requirements were met, I assure you.”
Sara's
eyes were on him but Daniel kept his head down. To his
surprise, her hand covered his and she squeezed gently.
The warmth and support were completely unexpected and he was
horrified by sudden tears. He hastily blinked them away.
“Why
am I here, Mr. Sutton?” Sara asked abruptly.
It
was the principal's turn to blink. “Mrs. O'Neill, I take it
you are unaware of the results of the I.Q. testing.”
“I'm
not interested in the results,” Sara said flatly. “I'm
interested in Daniel being assigned to his classes so he can
begin catching up.”
“That's
exactly why I asked you here,” Mr. Sutton returned.
The
principal sounded a little flustered and Daniel's respect for
Sara went up a few more notches.
“I'm
not following you,” she said and Daniel glanced out of the
corner of his eye at her. Yes, she definitely looked
irritated at the principal. Sara was on his side and that
knowledge helped settle his jumpy stomach.
Sutton
looked down at the open file on his desk. “Mrs. O'Neill,
in his prior school Daniel had been placed in the ninth grade,
where he was doing superior work. He was also taking
several college-level classes through a special program.”
Daniel
squeezed his eyes shut. Here it came.
There
was a long silence. “I don't understand,” Sara said slowly.
“The
I.Q. tests, not to mention Daniel's own achievements -” he
gave Daniel a quick look and another surface smile - “such as
the fact that he speaks twelve languages, all confirm that he is
a genius.”
Here
went any forlorn hopes that this placement might work out.
Sara
was silent for a long time and Daniel didn't dare look at her.
He hunched his shoulders instinctively, waiting for the blow to
fall.
“That's
wonderful but it doesn't change the fact that Daniel is still
ten years old.”
What?
Had he heard her correctly?
Daniel
raised his head and blinked at the warm smile she turned on him.
She wasn't disturbed or put off by the principal's words.
With the realization came a relief so vast he had to close his
eyes until he could regain control.
Sara
still liked him, still accepted him.
“Well,
actually,” Principal Sutton said, “the test results do
complicate the situation. Despite his chronological age,
it doesn't make sense to put Daniel into the same grade as other
children his age. He would not only be unchallenged
academically but he would be extremely bored.”
Daniel
gritted his teeth in frustration. Oh, yes, he knew what
was coming, placement in a grade years ahead of his age, with
classmates years older who fiercely resented his presence.
“But
ninth grade?” Sara demanded. She looked at Daniel again.
“You probably felt like a fish out of water, didn't you?”
He
swallowed and warned his voice to behave. “Yes,” he
admitted softly.
“As
I explained,” the principal started, “the test results...”
“There
is more at stake here than simple academics,” Sara said, her
voice suddenly cold.
Sutton
sat back in his chair. “I - ”
“What
about Daniel's emotional development? What about his
social development? I can't see such extreme academic
advancement doing anything but harm in those areas.
Teenagers in high school would never accept a ten-year-old as a
peer.”
She
looked at him again, her eyes filled with such compassion that
Daniel had to glance away before emotion got the better of him.
“But,”
Sutton protested, “if we go by Daniel's chronological age he
would be placed in the fourth or fifth grade. It's absurd
for someone of his intellectual ability to be penalized so
severely. He needs a place where he can develop his gifts
- ”
“He
needs a place where he can feel accepted,” Sara interrupted
firmly. “You said that he was able to take some
college-level courses through a special program at his previous
school. Surely, you can arrange something similar here,
while Daniel can still be with other children his own age.”
The
principal stared from her to Daniel and then back to her, while
Daniel silently cheered her on. No one had ever understood
his side, no one had ever fought for him like this before.
Finally,
Sutton licked his lips and cleared his throat. “I
suppose... something could be arranged. But Daniel would
be completely bored in the fifth grade, Mrs. O'Neill.
Utterly unchallenged and bored. That doesn't seem fair to
him.”
For
the first time, Sara looked uncertain. “What do you think,
Daniel?”
“I
don't mind being bored,” he quickly assured her. Boredom
would be a small price to pay in order to avoid high school
again. As much as he had enjoyed the class work, the other
students had made his life miserable. He was willing to
endure a lot to forestall another such experience.
“Do
you think you'd be awfully bored in the fifth grade?” she said
in the same tentative tone.
He
shrugged. He knew he'd be awfully bored, but it was
preferable to high school.
Lines
creased Sara's forehead. “Maybe...” she said slowly,
“we could compromise a bit? What do you think about
being in the sixth grade? It would be a little more
challenging but you'd still be with children who are pretty much
your age.”
“Okay,”
Daniel nodded. A little more challenging sounded good.
That, plus being with kids his own age sounded better.
Sara
glanced at the principal. “And you can still arrange for
the college-level coursework apart from his regular classes,
correct?”
“Uh,
yes,” Sutton said.
The
man looked confused at this upheaval of his plans. Daniel
swallowed the smile that wanted to escape. It felt good to
have someone on his side. He hoped it would last awhile
longer.
“Yes,”
the principal said again with a cough. “Sixth grade.
That would be...” he flipped through some papers on his desk,
“Mrs. Richards' class.” He gave Daniel a cautious
smile.
“We
have a few more documents to fill out and then you can join her
class.”
Less
than ten minutes later, they were done. When Sara rose, so
did Daniel. So did Sutton.
“Here,”
the man said, extending a sheaf of papers clipped together.
“This contains information about the school, programs and
various extracurricular activities.”
Sara
took the pages and handed them to Daniel while giving the
principal a pleasant smile.
“Since
these concern Daniel, I'm sure he'd like to see them, too.”
“Uh,
yes, yes,” Sutton stammered. “Certainly. Of
course. Daniel, Ms. Cluney will escort you to Mrs.
Richards' class. Mrs. O'Neill, it was, um, a pleasure to
meet you.”
Daniel
smothered another smile. Mr. Sutton hadn't said that with
a whole lot of conviction.
Sara
smiled at the man. “Likewise, I'm sure.”
Back
in the reception area, the woman with the partly gray hair gave
him a little wave.
“I'll
be right with you, Daniel,” she said before vanishing into the
back area.
Sara
looked at him with a smile that was much more genuine than the
one she had given the principal.
“All
set?” she asked brightly.
Daniel
hugged his new backpack against his chest and nodded.
“Sara,” he started, then stopped. He didn't know how
to thank her for standing up for him.
“Hmm?”
Sara's eyes softened and for a scary minute, Daniel feared she
was going to hug him, right here in public, in front of all
these strangers. Instead she rested her hand on his
shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“I
hope you have a great first day,” she said.
Daniel
managed to smile. “Thanks.”
She
disappeared out the door and he settled back on the hard bench
to wait for Ms. Cluney. Paper rattled under his chest and
he dropped his backpack on the floor to examine the sheaf of
papers Mr. Sutton had given to Sara. The top page was a
list of extracurricular activities. The school had several
different sports programs that Daniel immediately rejected.
Wait, what was this? They had a music club.
For
a minute he let his mind turn back to the sporadic piano lessons
his mother had given him, sporadic because they didn't often
have access to a piano. Nonetheless he had loved the lessons,
mainly because they had allowed him to be with his mom without
distraction.
Daniel's
heart squeezed painfully at the memories and he distracted
himself by looking over the rest of the list.
Hmm,
they had a Chess Club.
That
was a possibility. Then again, it was late in the school
year. The kids in that club had been together for at least
the entire year, maybe longer. The thought of trying to
break into a well-established group, of even trying to be part
of a group, had Daniel shaking his head. Maybe he'd try
next year, providing he had a next year here.
“Ready?”
Daniel
looked up to see Ms. Cluney standing over him and quickly jumped
to his feet. He was tempted to tell the truth, 'no' he
wasn't ready. Instead, he nodded silently and followed her
out of the room.
Chapter
4
Three
hours later, Daniel stood at the edge of the playground,
watching what looked like hundreds of kids enjoying their lunch
hour. What he really wanted was to find a little hideaway
where he could eat his lunch and enjoy his book undisturbed.
The
chance that any one of these kids would invite him to join them
for lunch was practically nonexistent. He was too new.
If past experience was any indication, when the other kids
discovered he didn't enjoy games or sports and was taking
college-level courses - they always found out about that - that
would pretty much seal his fate at this school.
Daniel
knew it, expected it, and tried his best to ignore it. He
didn't know how to be anyone other than who he was. The
painful fact that kids didn't like who he was didn't matter.
It really didn't. Really.
“Hi,
Daniel.”
Daniel
turned, surprised to be hailed, and saw Charlie approaching.
“Hi,
Charlie.”
Charlie
had a bat on his shoulder and was grinning. “Me and some
of the guys are going to play a game,” he nodded toward the
athletic field. “You want to join us? I could
introduce you around.”
Play
a game with some strange boys? When Daniel didn't even
know the rules? That was one exercise in humiliation he
preferred to avoid at all costs.
“Uh,
no. Thanks,” he added belatedly.
Charlie's
face fell and then he rallied. “Okay, we don't have to
play baseball. We could play something you'd like.”
Daniel
couldn't meet the hopeful look and glanced down at his feet.
“I... uh, no, thanks. I want to finish my book.”
As
soon as the words were out of his mouth, Daniel knew he'd made a
mistake. He had turned down Charlie's offer to join in and
get acquainted with some of the other kids, with the excuse that
he'd rather read a book. Big, huge mistake. It was too late to
take back the words now.
Reluctantly,
he raised his head to see Charlie staring at him in
disappointment. To Daniel's surprise, the boy didn't give
up.
“Well,
if that's what you want to do.” He glanced over his
shoulder at the baseball diamond and then back at Daniel.
“How're things going? I haven't seen you in any of my
classes this morning.”
Daniel
was dumbfounded by Charlie's persistence. By now, most
kids would be long gone, but Charlie was still being nice.
The effort the other boy was putting forth made Daniel feel
ashamed.
“Fine,”
he said, then guilt forced out a few more words. “Mrs.
Richards is my homeroom teacher. She seems okay.”
Charlie's
eyebrows rose, then he frowned. “Mrs. Richards? She
teaches sixth grade.”
Daniel
swallowed. Stupid, Daniel. That was really stupid.
He should have taken a minute to think before he opened his
mouth. Now there was no way to hide this. Charlie
was in the fifth grade. Charlie was also, Daniel had
discovered during a conversation with Sara over the weekend,
nearly a year older. This was not going to go over well.
“Yeah,
um...” Daniel scrambled for something to say but his mind had
gone blank. His heart sank when he saw understanding dawn
in the other boy's eyes.
“You
were put in sixth grade,” Charlie said slowly.
Daniel
nodded dumbly. So did Charlie.
“My
mom said you were smart. I guess... she was right.”
Daniel
fervently hoped Charlie wasn't aware of the college-level
courses he was soon going to be taking.
“I,
uh... ” he cleared his throat. “Well, not so much.
Not really.”
“You
must be,” Charlie insisted, though he didn't sound happy about
it.
He
glanced around and Daniel knew he was about to disappear.
Instead, Charlie's expression changed and Daniel was startled to
see a glower cross the other boy's previously sunny expression.
“You
see that guy?” he asked unexpectedly.
Daniel
looked in the direction Charlie was pointing. Standing by
the chain link fence that surrounded the school yard were four
boys. One, obviously the leader, was bigger than the
others, tall and husky. Even from this distance he could
see the boy's sneer.
“Yeah,”
Daniel acknowledged.
“You
want to stay away from him. Tommy Carmichael is one mean
bastard and he loves to give kids a hard time, him and his sorry
excuse of a gang.”
Daniel
listened in growing surprise. In the few days he'd lived
with the O'Neills, Charlie had been unfailingly cheerful and
outgoing. This was the first time he'd seen this side of
the boy and, he thought with an inner shiver, that it was more
intimidating than anything Charlie had said about that Tommy
guy.
Daniel
nodded. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Sure.”
As
Daniel watched, the animation faded from the other boy's
expression. Charlie glanced over his shoulder and then
gave him a long look.
“You,
um, wanted to read, right?” Without giving Daniel time
to respond, he rushed on. “Well, I'd better get back to
the guys. See you later.”
Daniel
watched him walk away. The sight of Charlie's slumped
shoulders made his throat tighten. Charlie had been
nothing but nice and how had he repaid him?
Daniel
swallowed again, his stomach leaden with shame. He had to
get away, get out of Charlie's sight and away from any chance of
seeing the other boy and being reminded of what had just
happened.
He
moved quickly along the wall of a classroom until he reached the
end. A narrow path, obviously not intended for the public,
ran behind the building. Daniel moved swiftly along the
path, trying hard to erase the memory of Charlie's face when
he'd rejected his offer to join in the game, but no matter how
hard he tried, the memory remained.
Why
did Charlie have to be so nice? Why hadn't Charlie treated
him like the other foster brothers he'd known? At best,
they'd been distant. At worst, they'd hated his guts.
It had been easier dealing with them than it was with Charlie.
They'd had no expectations so Daniel had been able to remain
focused on his own internal world.
For
two years he had been certain the problem lay with other people.
Now he was forcibly reminded of his revelation on the day he'd
first met Charlie, and again a few nights ago when he overheard
Jack and Sara talking about him.
Was
he, Daniel, really the problem? Was he the reason none of
the placements worked out?
The
questions piled one on top of the other, each more painful than
the one before. In an effort to escape, Daniel increased
his pace until he was running. A part of him knew he was
foolish to be moving so rapidly along so narrow a path but he
couldn't slow himself down.
Until
he dug in his heels to come to a stumbling halt in front of a
high concrete wall.
He
had been running too swiftly to stop in time. He threw out
both hands that slammed into the wall a split second before the
rest of him. His hands took the brunt of the impact and pain
erupted up his arms.
His
body was thrown backwards by the force of his collision with the
unyielding surface, and Daniel winced when he fell back against
another concrete wall, this one the side of the building.
Gasping
from exertion and pain, Daniel wrapped his arms around himself,
gritting his teeth at the pain in his hands and arms.
After a minute or two the pain began to ease and he looked
around.
He
had come out into a small, open area behind the building.
There were a few boxes stacked up along the side and large pipes
coming out of the wall and disappearing into the ground.
It
would be a nice little hideaway to disappear to when he wanted
to be escape. Except he wasn't the first person to
discover it.
A
girl was sitting on one of the boxes. The sight of her
made Daniel flush in embarrassment as he realized she must have
seen his unceremonious arrival. When he took a closer
look, his embarrassment turned to concern.
She
was staring at him in open-mouthed astonishment, but her
astonishment couldn't hide the fact that she'd been crying.
Despite her surprise at his abrupt appearance, the tears were
still in evidence.
She
self consciously rubbed her eyes with both hands as colored
bloomed in her pale cheeks.
Daniel's
first impulse was to make a hasty retreat but something held him
still. When she finally lowered her hands, he saw her
expression of misery and embarrassment. Her unhappiness
was obvious and he couldn't just walk away, not like this.
“Are
you... okay?” he asked awkwardly.
She
sniffed hard and raised her head. “I- I- I- I'm
f-f-fine,” she declared.
Daniel
cringed at the words. He couldn't help it. Hearing
his stock response to questions about his wellbeing coming from
this girl caught him by surprise. He often used that
phrase in an effort to fool people, when he wasn't really fine,
though he always tried his best to appear as if he was. It
was obvious she wasn't fine at all.
“I'm
sorry about, uh...” he gestured aimlessly with a hand, “you
know, surprising you. I was... um, I didn't know about
this place. I'm, I mean, I'm new...”
Daniel's
familiar despair over being in an uncomfortable situation
descended on him. He sounded, and probably looked like, an
idiot. The thought of running away was sounding more
attractive by the second.
To
his surprise, when he dared to look at the girl again she
seemed... better. The misery was gone from her eyes,
replaced by, Daniel winced inwardly, curiosity. Yep, he
must be sounding like... like...
“I-
I- I- I'm K-K-Karen...” she blinked furiously, “Lllllindsey.”
As
he listened, Daniel sensed the effort she was putting in to get
the words out. He couldn't help but respond.
“I'm
Daniel,” he said, “Daniel Jackson.” He gestured at
the small space surrounding them. “This is pretty cool.
I wish I had a place like this.”
Karen
stared at him for a long moment before her face relaxed and she
smiled unexpectedly.
“I-I-I-I
ccccould sssshare,” she offered, while running her hand
through her dark red curls.
“You
could?” Daniel said hopefully. “You wouldn't mind
sharing?”
She
shook her head and gestured toward one of the boxes. For
the first time, Daniel noticed a lunch bag and a book she had
placed on the box she'd been sitting on. Daniel held up
his own lunch and book and Karen's smile widened.
“W-w-what
aare you rreading?”
As
she calmed down her speech became clearer. Daniel kept
that realization to himself as he sat down on the box beside
hers.
“It's
about the ancient Mayan culture, actually, an archeologist's
view of it.” He waited, expecting boredom or worse.
Her
eyebrows rose. “I-I llike American hhhistory.
What's Mmayan?”
This
time it was Daniel's eyebrows that rose. He studied her
closely and saw only interest in her green eyes. She
really wanted to know.
He
smiled, feeling at ease for the first time since waking up this
morning. “The Mayans created one of the greatest and
most fascinating of the ancient cultures,” he began.
They
became so involved in talking they almost forgot about eating
their lunches. The unexpected enjoyment of that hour, and
Karen's promise to meet him here for lunch tomorrow, carried
Daniel through the rest of the afternoon.
It
was a good thing he'd had a nice time at lunch because he was
just as bored as he had expected to be with his classes. In the
morning, he had sat through language arts and reading - very
boring, especially considering the fact that he'd been reading
since he was three years old. Then there was mathematics.
Math was the one area he struggled in so he was grateful today
to be in the sixth grade where he actually had a chance to grasp
what the teacher was saying.
That's
what he'd thought until he heard the teacher say, “In
understanding the relative values of integers and non-negative
rational numbers, it helps to compare different representations
of non-negative rational numbers by implementing strategies.
By this, I mean strategies such as like denominators and
changing to the same form...”
Daniel
groaned inwardly. He hated integers.
After
math, science had been a relief, albeit a boring one.
Geology could be fascinating, as he knew from his own personal
study, but a long lecture on plate tectonics came very close to
putting him to sleep.
At
least lunch had been exciting. When Daniel returned to class he
discovered they were studying Spanish, and he had a hard time
keeping quiet when the teacher ran the students through a series
of vocabulary exercises. He was particularly indignant to hear
the teacher mispronouncing some of the Spanish words, and he had
to bite his tongue until it hurt to avoid correcting her.
Worst
of all was history. Today, the class was about the Alamo
and Daniel had to bite his tongue all over again when he heard
the teacher lingering over the romanticized - but inaccurate -
version of the battle at the Alamo.
Previous
experience taught him that arguing with teachers over subject
content didn't go over well. Better, he had discovered, to
discuss his concerns with them in private. They would be
less defensive, though not necessarily more open.
That
was a battle for another day. Keeping his chin cupped in
his hand, with his fingers resting loosely over his mouth, was
the best way to remember to keep quiet. He kept glancing
at the clock on the wall but the minute hand seemed to move more
slowly than the hour hand.
Another
half hour and school would be over. He could go back...
He
gritted his teeth. He'd almost said 'home'. What was
wrong with him that he'd come so close to slipping up? He
hadn't even been at the O'Neills for a full week yet he'd -
“Daniel
Jackson?”
He
straightened abruptly, his face flushing in embarrassment at
being caught not paying attention.
Looking
at the teacher, Daniel prepared himself for curt words. He
was surprised to see the teacher standing by the door, and there
just outside in the hallway was Ms. Cluney from the principal's
office. Meeting her worried gaze, his heart sank.
He
didn't need to be a genius to know something was wrong.
Once out in the hall, Ms. Cluney responded to his questions with
a shake of her head.
“Just
come with me, Daniel.”
When
he reached the administrative office, Daniel's first sight was
of Charlie standing by the counter. His backpack was over
one shoulder and his hands were fiddling nervously with the
straps. Beside him stood an older woman who looked vaguely
familiar.
Ms.
Cluney gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Mrs. O'Neill called
the school to say that Mrs. Schuler - ” she nodded at the
other woman, “would be taking you two boys home this
afternoon.”
Now
Daniel recognized her. She lived next door to the O'Neills.
He had met her briefly on Saturday when they had been in the
back yard.
“My
dad?” Charlie said anxiously. “Something's happened to
my dad?”
“No,
dear,” Mrs. Schuler said quickly. “When your mother
called me she specifically said to tell you that both she and
the Colonel are fine. But something came up that required
both of them so she asked me to pick you up.”
Color
came back into Charlie's features and he managed a laugh that
didn't quite hide his relief.
“You
didn't have to. I - we - could've walked home.”
Mrs.
Schuler smiled. “I'm sure you could've. But I'm
glad to drive you home. Shall we go?” she looked from
Charlie to Daniel who nodded silently.
He
trailed them out to her car, his mind working furiously.
Something wasn't adding up. Daniel knew it, but no matter
how hard he tried, he couldn't figure out what it was.
Driving
carefully did not come naturally to Jack. In this, as in
all areas of his life, his first and strongest instinct was to
push the envelope, to see how far, how fast, how close to the
edge, he could go. It had taken the Air Force and, especially,
Sara and Charlie, to rein in his instincts, to teach him to deal
with life with a - mostly - mature attitude.
Today
he was disregarding everything a lifetime of experience had
taught him. Today, Jack drove like he was trying to win
the Indianapolis 500, which was inexcusable behavior around
ordinary drivers on an ordinary road. He couldn't help it.
Not today.
The
words of the phone call that had pulled him out of his meeting
with General West rang in his ears. Fear, grief for
himself and for those he loved, pushed him hard. Only some
lingering semblance of self-control kept him from taking even
more chances as he drove.
He
took a familiar exit off the highway and raced over the surface
streets until he reached Elm Grove Drive. As he turned
onto it, Jack was struck with the memory of the first time he
had turned onto this street, nineteen years ago.
There
was the house. And there was her car. But the
ambulance was gone.
With
his heart in his throat, Jack pulled into the driveway, pausing
long enough to turn off the ignition before jumping out and
racing up the walk. He grabbed the handle on the front
door realizing it might be locked, but it turned easily under
his hand.
He
was two steps inside, his wife's name on his lips when he saw
her.
Sara
was sitting on the floor, carefully folding the remnants of what
had recently been a shirt and pants. She didn't look up,
didn't seem aware that he was there.
Jack
moved forward slowly. Pain stirred inside, trickling
through his shock. The sight of those pathetic pieces of
clothing were silent evidence of what he hadn't really believed
until now. The paramedics must have cut them off of Mike
when they tried to...
He
knelt beside his wife and put a hand on her arm.
“Honey,” he said softly, “let me help, okay?”
Sara
raised her head until he could see her eyes. Normally so
clear and vivid, they were now clouded with the same emotions he
was struggling with. Shock. Disbelief. Reality
hadn't hit yet.
“I
need to tidy up,” she said in little more than a whisper, her
voice eerily calm. “Dad likes everything in its
place.”
“I
know,” Jack nodded, his heart aching as he watched her
mechanical folding.
He
almost said that tidiness didn't matter anymore, but he bit back
the words.
Soon,
the pain would strike a vital chord in him, but he was used to
shoving difficult emotions into that dark hole in his soul where
he kept his most painful memories buried. Much more
important was the fact that soon the shock would wear off for
Sara. Whatever she needed from him, that's what she'd get.
He would be there for her.
All
the pieces of clothing were now folded neatly in her lap and
Sara reached for the last item, a belt that had been cut in
half. As she lifted the pieces, Jack recognized the belt.
It was the “genuine cowboy belt” with a large, shiny silver
buckle that Charlie had bought during a family vacation to Texas
a couple of years ago, and given to his grandfather for his
birthday.
Sara
ran her fingers over the design carved into the leather and her
face crumpled. Jack wrapped his arms around her, pulling
her against him as tears slid down her cheeks.
Her
slender body trembled in his arms and his own pain expanded,
filling him. He held her tightly, wishing for words but
knowing all the words in the world were useless.
“'ll
'lone,” she wept against his chest.
“What?”
Jack asked, then wondered if he should have kept quiet.
“He
was all alone,” she cried. “I didn't come over this
morning the way we'd planned. Dad died all alone...”
Sobs shook her. “He was all alone. I wasn't
here...”
Grief
overwhelmed her and all he could do was hold her.
Kneeling
in the living room of a house he knew almost as well as his own,
Jack remembered the man who had built it. Mike Ridgeway
had been a big man in every way. He had started out in
construction, eventually obtaining his contractor's license, and
then taking a huge risk by branching out into his own business.
It was a business that had slowly grown until he had ended up an
immensely successful business man.
Yet
Mike had always been happiest out in the field, leaving the
paperwork to employees while he kept a close eye on the projects
handled by his company - a close eye and, often, a close hand.
He had enjoyed nothing as much as getting up close and personal
with the construction work.
Jack
had been in his second year at the Air Force Academy when he had
first met Mike. A blind date set up by a friend had
introduced him to Sara, and Jack had known immediately that she
was something special. So special, he was willing to face
down an immensely protective Mike in order to continue dating
her. Though Sara had been in her second year of college at the
time, she was still - and, he gradually realized, would always
be - Mike's 'little girl'. Finally winning the man's
approval had meant more to Jack than all the honors and medals
he had received during his years in the Air Force.
Holding
his sobbing wife, Jack was grateful to the fates for bringing
them back to Colorado Springs nearly two years ago.
Returning to Sara's home town and being physically close to her
father again, had meant the world to her. As for Mike,
being able to visit often with his daughter and her family, and
for the first time in his life being able to spend time with his
grandson, had meant the world to him. He'd told Jack so,
in a gruff aside, at Charlie's birthday party last year.
Jack
closed his eyes, resting his chin on his wife's head as the
memories brought a flood of sorrow. He grieved for his
wife's pain and for the pain Charlie would soon feel. He
had grown close to Mike over the years and he grieved for his
own loss as well. The thought of that strong, smiling,
always supportive figure gone from their lives was too painful
to acknowledge.
He
thought back to the last time he had seen his father-in-law.
It had been the weekend before Daniel came to live with them.
Mike had come over for Sunday dinner and he, Jack and Charlie
had gotten into a good-natured wrangle over baseball - Mike's
long-time love - versus hockey.
Jack
swallowed at the memory of the laughter they had shared, of
Charlie ending the argument by dropping down on the couch beside
his grandfather with a loud exclamation - “They're both better
than ballet!”
It
had been a day filled with laughter. And love, even if it
was mostly unexpressed. A good day. Filled with good
memories.
Holding
his wife close, Jack realized afresh how much he owed the man,
especially for the woman he held in his arms and for the little
boy who would be coming home soon. Home. He owed
Mike for Sara and Charlie who were his real home.
“Thanks,
Mike,” he whispered.
Four
days later, Daniel sat on the edge of his bed and wished he
could be anywhere but here. The memorial service for
Sara's father was scheduled for this morning. Thank goodness he
had summoned up the courage yesterday to tell Jack - he couldn't
face Sara - that he didn't want to go. To his great
relief, Jack had said he didn't have to go and had asked Mrs.
Schuler from next door to come by to keep an eye on things.
Though Daniel wanted to protest that he was almost eleven years
old and didn't need a babysitter, he had remained silent.
He would happily endure Mrs. Schuler if it meant not going to
the service.
Despite
his relief, Daniel still felt wretched, a feeling only made
worse by his memory of the conversation he had heard between
Jack and Sara in the kitchen the night after her father had
died. He had gone downstairs to look for a book he had mislaid
but had barely reached the foot of the stairs when he heard
Sara.
“
- but I wasn't!” she wept.
Daniel
froze as he heard Jack's voice, soft and filled with an emotion
he had never heard from the man.
“Honey,
there's no way you could've known.”
“But
if I'd only gone... I was supposed to. That's what we had
originally planned, to have breakfast together. But I
cancelled at the last minute... I was talking to that principal
while Dad was dying... all alone - ”
Her
anguished, guilt-filled words broke off in a sob. Jack
said something, too softly to hear, but his murmured voice broke
through Daniel's shock and sent him fleeing back upstairs.
As
hard as he tried, Daniel had been unable to forget what he'd
heard that night. It was because of him Sara hadn't been
with her father when he had the heart attack. Sara was not
only a grown-up, she was a nurse. If she'd been with her
father, she might have been able to save him. Her father
might not have died.
Except
she hadn't been with her father. She had been at the
school, talking to Principal Sutton. Because of him.
Daniel
winced under the accusing thought and wrapped his arms tightly
around himself. If not for him...
The
last few days he had done his best not to think about it.
Looking desperately for a distraction from the grief in this
house, Daniel had even, much to his surprise, joined the Chess
Club. That had actually come about accidentally. He had
been standing in the hall between classes, staring blindly at
the announcements, flyers, and other papers on the bulletin
board, when Mr. Connors came by.
Although
a history teacher, Mr. Connors had also - Daniel discovered -
started the Chess Club for interested students several years
ago. Finding Daniel apparently reading the notice about
the next chess match, Mr. Connors had greeted him warmly and...
somehow, Daniel wasn't sure how... things had ended with him
signing up. So far he'd been to one meeting and as
expected, the other kids in the club were standoffish with him,
the new kid. But Mr. Connors seemed nice. And it helped to
be out of the house... except...
Except
he had to keep coming back here, to see Sara's grief and be
silently reminded of the bitter truth -
If
he had not come to this house, Sara's father might still be
alive.
Guilt
churned in his stomach and he took a deep, shaky breath.
No, he couldn't be sick. He had to hold on, wait until
Sara and Jack and Charlie left.
Nausea
suddenly filled his throat and Daniel jumped off his bed. He had
to get to the bathroom.
He
ran hastily out into the hall, in such a hurry that he didn't
notice the bathroom door was closed until he almost slammed into
it. As he skidded to a stop the door opened to reveal
Charlie.
Daniel
cringed at the sight of the misery on the other boy's face.
Here was the other reason he had tried so hard to stay out of
the house since the death of Sara's father, Charlie's
grandfather.
There
had been no evidence of the usual high-spirited, laughing,
outgoing Charlie these past few days. The brown eyes that
met his were cloudy with pain and grief and Daniel wished
desperately he had remained holed up in his room until the
O'Neills had left.
“We're
leaving in ten minutes,” Charlie said quietly.
Daniel
saw him swallow and had to do the same. Obviously, Jack
hadn't told Charlie that Daniel was staying home.
“I'm
not going.”
Charlie
blinked, then his eyes darkened. “What?”
“I'm...”
Daniel swallowed again. “I'm not going to the service.
I'm staying here.”
“You're
not going?” The pain-dulled brown eyes sparked with
anger.
“I,
I didn't know him...” Daniel heard the defensiveness in
his voice but couldn't help it. His words were true.
He hadn't known Sara's father. Of course, there was a lot
more to it than that, but Daniel wasn't about to go into it with
the O'Neills. Besides, Jack had seemed satisfied with the
brief explanation, or at least he hadn't questioned it.
Charlie
was questioning it. “So what? You know us.
Memorial services aren't just about who died. They're also
about - ” his face twisted before he caught himself.
“About supporting the family, and about showing respect...”
His voice thickened and he stopped.
For
a split second, no longer than the first flash of lightning in a
summer storm, Daniel saw himself standing in a crowd of people
during an unseasonably hot day, the hand of a stranger, a social
worker, on his shoulder while some minister he'd never seen
before droned generic phrases over two coffins resting beside
two deep holes in the ground...
So
strong, so vivid, so agonizing was the memory that it actually
rocked Daniel back on his heels. He shook his head hard,
blinking furiously to force back the tears that had sprung to
his eyes.
“...
that's it?”
A
few more blinks brought his vision into focus, and he wished he
was somewhere, anywhere but here. Charlie was still
standing before him and anger had shaken him from the lethargy
of the last few days. His brown eyes blazed at Daniel who
instinctively took a step back.
They
faced each other, both of them breathing hard. Charlie's
face was flushed and tears glittered in his eyes. It
struck Daniel, even though the other boy had never said
anything, how much Charlie must have loved his grandfather, and
how much he was hurting now. Daniel shied back from the
understanding. He was carrying too much pain of his own.
He couldn't handle anyone else's.
“Hey.”
Daniel
had never been so grateful to hear Jack's voice and he backed
away a couple more steps as the man reached them. He felt
Jack's searching gaze on him but kept his eyes down, then was
startled to feel a large hand rest on his shoulder.
Without
thinking, he stepped away from it. “I... uh, excuse
me.”
He
slipped around Jack and hurried back to his room, acutely aware
that two sets of brown eyes were following him. Quietly,
he closed his door behind him and dropped down on his bed,
grateful for his sanctuary.
Yet
even in the privacy of his room Daniel couldn't forget the naked
grief and misery in Charlie's eyes. And he couldn't
suppress his grief and pain for his own loss that the sorrow in
this house had reawakened.
Daniel
threw himself face down on his bed and buried his face in the
soft quilt. No, on second thought, his room wasn't such a
sanctuary after all.
Chapter
5
Daniel
was surprised at how quickly things returned to normal in the
O'Neill household. Sara never seemed to stop smiling at him,
Jack talked louder and actually made more dumb jokes than usual,
and Charlie went back to school and acted as if nothing had
happened. It was the same when his parents had died. After a few
days, no one talked about it and no one seemed sad. Daniel was
glad that he fought every day to keep his parents' memories
alive no matter what the cost. He wondered if Sara secretly did
the same.
"Knock,
knock." It was Jack. Even after he knocked on the door and
Daniel invited him in, Jack would open the door and stand in the
doorway and say 'knock knock'. It was annoying.
Daniel
looked up from his book. The man was wearing his usual
half-grin, half-smirk, and that annoyed him even more.
"Charlie
and I are going to drive out to the old airstrip and rummage
around. Why don't you come with us?" Jack offered.
"No
thank you."
"Come
on, Daniel, it'll be fun."
'It'll
be fun.' That's how most of their conversations went. Daniel
always said 'no' and Jack always said it would be fun. He
wondered when Jack would take the hint and quit asking him.
Daniel was positive Jack didn't want him to tag along and only
asked because Sara made him.
"If
I didn't know better I'd think you don't like me."
Daniel
shrugged and looked down at his book. He didn't care what Jack
thought because maybe it was true. Besides, during that same
conversation when he'd overheard Jack tell Sara that he and
Charlie were trying, Jack had also told Sara that Daniel was an
odd kid who didn't have much in common with Charlie because
Charlie was more athletic while he, Daniel Jackson, was more of
a geek. Daniel had never had an adult mock him by calling him a
geek. Maybe other foster parents had thought that of him
but Daniel had never heard any of them say it out loud.
That
was the night he had cried into his pillow. It wasn't just the
geek thing. He was used to that. Jack's words were a reminder
that he didn't belong here. He didn't fit in. For two years
Daniel's only wish, his only dream, was to go home. The only
problem was... he no longer had a home to go to.
So
this had become their standard routine. Whenever Jack and
Charlie went out and did things together Jack would ask Daniel
to go and Daniel would say 'no thank you'. Why should he go?
Jack didn't like him and thought he was a geek, and since Mike's
death, Charlie had become indifferent.
It
was better this way. He could stay indefinitely at this rate. He
really wasn't much trouble and he wasn't bothering anybody.
And
if Jack thought Daniel didn't like him, or want to do things
with him, that was fine because it was true. He didn't want to.
Daniel Jackson hated being where he wasn't wanted. That would be
too pathetic, even for an orphan.
"Daniel
and I don't seem to have much in common," Jack said. It
wasn't a complaint, more of a statement of fact.
Sara
closed one dresser drawer and opened another to put in some
freshly laundered shirts before looking up at him.
"You need to bond with him. Find something the two of you
can do together. You're not even trying, Jack."
He
hated when she said that. "I am trying." And he was.
He had suggested all kinds of activities and Daniel had turned
his nose up at every single one of them. "He doesn't want
to do anything with me. I'm not going to force him."
Sara
was quiet for a minute and he could see the wheels turning. That
always scared the crap out of him.
"He
likes chess," she said slowly. "He joined the Chess
Club at school and I know that was difficult for him. He's not a
joiner."
No?
Really? Jack bit his tongue and nodded his agreement.
"His
first tournament is Saturday. Maybe you could take him."
"I
thought you were taking him."
"I
was but it might be something nice you could do together, just
the two of you."
A
chess tournament? Kids actually did that? Sat in chairs for
hours and played chess?
"He'd
be happier if you took him. He likes you better." Jack
pouted for maximum effect.
Sara
rolled her eyes and admirably refrained from saying, 'does not.'
"You just need to work harder at finding things he likes.
You and Charlie don't include him."
Jack
frowned at the accusation. "That's not fair. He doesn't
want to do things with us. I always ask him."
"I
know you do. But I don't think he really feels welcome to join
in."
That
was possible but it was difficult to know how far to push
Daniel. Most of the time the kid seemed happier when he was left
alone. Jack didn't want to push Charlie too hard either. The
boys needed to find the boundaries and depths of their
friendship on their own.
"Forcing
it will make it worse."
"I
know. You're right," Sara sighed. "It's just that...
whether it's self-imposed or not, sometimes I can feel Daniel's
loneliness."
Jack
kissed his wife's cheek. "Give it some time to work itself
out." Sara was so good and he was so... not.
"You'll
go to the chess tournament with him?" She was cheating,
blowing in his ear as she asked.
"Sure."
As if he could say 'no' to that. He turned his head to kiss her
cheek in an effort to distract her from thinking up any more
brilliant ideas for him to carry out. "I'll take
him."
"You
know... you could play a game with him to get in the swing of
it."
She
was un-distractible. He wished he were as focused. "A game
of chess?"
"Why
not? It's something he likes to talk about. He joined that club,
he must really like it."
Jack
frowned. "I'm special ops trained in military strategy,
honey. He's ten. Do you really think that's such a good
idea?"
"Afraid
you'll lose?"
"No."
He realized he'd replied a little too quickly when she had the
audacity to smirk at him.
"Okay,
maybe," he conceded, recalling what she'd told him about
Daniel's I.Q. tests. That got a chuckle. He could always make
her laugh. It was an even greater accomplishment now,
since Mike's death.
"Wait
til tomorrow to tell him you're taking him. I don't want to
stress him out."
"I
stress him out?"
She
rubbed his arm to soothe his ruffled feathers. "It's not
really you. I think he's had bad experiences with foster
dads."
"Right."
That wasn't Jack's take on it. Daniel didn't seem afraid of him.
More like... annoyed. He bit his tongue since the jury was still
out and wondered what one wore to a chess tournament. Plaid
seemed like the best bet.
Saturday
morning, Jack reluctantly climbed the stairs and debated how to
break the news to Daniel that he - not Sara - would be taking
him to the chess tournament. Daniel wasn't going to be happy
about it so Jack decided to keep it light and casual.
“Hey,
buddy, all set for the big game?" he asked as he pushed
open the half-closed door.
"It's
called a match," Daniel mumbled while pulling on a blue
plaid shirt.
Plaid.
Aha! Score one for O'Neill. And Sara complained he had no
fashion sense.
"Right."
Jack stood in the doorway with his jacket on, rubbing his hands
together, the picture of enthusiasm while
pretending not to notice Daniel's
disappointment.
"I
thought Sara was taking me."
"She
was but something came up so you're stuck with me. Ready?"
"Okay."
Daniel shrugged dubiously.
Annoyed.
Definitely not afraid.
As
they drove toward the school where the chess tournament was
being held, Jack pondered what to say to break the extremely
quiet car ride until Daniel did it for him.
"Do
you know how to play chess?"
"Yes,
of course I know how to play. Why? Can adults enter the
tournament?" That might be fun. Jack was actually pretty
damned good at chess. He'd love to kick some adult geek ass.
"No,
I just thought if you'd be bored you could drop me off and pick
me up in a couple of hours when it's over."
It
was tempting. Jack glanced over to see if the kid was serious.
The blue eyes were studying him carefully while he chewed his
lower lip. Nope, Sara would kill him.
"No,
it's okay. I won't be bored. I want to see you play."
They
reached Hilldale Middle School before Daniel spoke again.
"Jack?"
"Hmm?"
"You
can't cheer at chess tournaments like at baseball games."
Jack
turned the car into the parking lot and tried not to laugh.
"Really?" The kid didn't have much faith in his social
skills.
"It
would be considered extremely rude and might distract the
players."
"So
no, 'go, Daniel, kick that queen's butt'?"
"It's
quiet at chess tournaments."
"I
can do quiet." Jack pretended not to notice the look of
horror on Daniel's face at the queen comment.
After
he turned off the ignition, Jack glanced at his passenger but
Daniel didn't seem to be in any hurry to get out of the car.
Pre-game jitters, he figured. Understandable.
“Come
on, kiddo,” he urged. “It's time to fish or cut
bait.”
Daniel
gave him a confused look and Jack bit back a grin. Let the
kid chew that one over. Maybe it would help distract him
from his nervousness.
Once
inside, Daniel quickly found his classmates and reluctantly
introduced Jack to Mr. Connors.
"Nice
to meet you. Daniel is quite gifted. You must be very
proud."
"Gifted?"
Jack stuck out his hand to shake.
"He's
an excellent chess player. One of the best I've ever coached in
his age group."
"Yes,
well... good." Jack shook hands and watched Daniel bow his
head and blush.
He
had realized the kid was smart even before Sara told him about
her conversation with the school principal and Daniel's I.Q.
test results. Though they hadn't said anything to their son,
Charlie clearly realized it, too. The other day Charlie had
referred to Daniel as 'Brainiac.' Unfortunately for the
boy, Sara - who detested name-calling of any kind - had
overheard and Charlie had ended up getting an earful.
Jack
still hadn't decided how to handle the whole “Daniel is a
genius” thing. Maybe, as Sara insisted, there was
nothing to handle. According to her, his I.Q.
notwithstanding, Daniel was ten years old and needed to be
treated as a ten-year-old, even while they did their best to
nourish his brilliant young mind.
He
knew better than to argue with his wife when she was in that
kind of a mood. Besides, she was probably right. But
Jack was still concerned, especially for Charlie. They'd
known going into this that Daniel had a lot of emotional
baggage. Add to that something they hadn't known about, an
off-the-charts intelligence, and Jack wasn't sure who he felt
sorrier for... Daniel or Charlie.
Jack
came back from his musings in time to see
Daniel disappear into a sea of kids so he made his way to
the chairs designated for parents and visitors. He was stunned
at the number of tables set up with timers for each match. He
had no idea chess was so popular. He had been expecting a couple
of nerdy kids in bow ties.
He
was equally stunned at how easily Daniel defeated each of his
opponents. It wasn't long before the skinny blonde kid in the
big round glasses was standing amid a cheering throng of fellow
teammates holding up a trophy. Now that was something Jack could
relate to. He watched with interest as Daniel's face lit up with
the first genuine smile Jack had seen since the kid's arrival.
"That
kid is good," the man in the neighboring chair muttered as
he stood up. "Really good."
"He's
with me," Jack bragged as he stood up and stretched before
going over to offer his congratulations.
"Let's
see the hardware," he demanded to the newly crowned blonde
chess whiz.
Daniel
reluctantly handed over the trophy.
"Nice."
Jack let out a low, appreciative whistle noting that Daniel had
looked far happier about it with his teacher and fellow
classmates than he did now. Sara was wrong. Daniel wasn't
nervous around him, Daniel simply didn't like him and that
bothered the crap out of him. Why didn't Daniel like him? Kids
always liked him. He tried to be a good guy, especially with
kids. What was not to like?
Daniel
simply shrugged.
"What,
you don't like me? It. I mean, you don't like it?"
Jack held up the trophy to cover his faux pas.
"It's
okay," Daniel answered. "It's not a sports
trophy."
"Who
said it has to be a sports trophy?" Jack studied Daniel
intently as they made their way to the car. All he got in
response was a frown.
"How
about we stop for ice cream to celebrate?" Jack clicked his
seatbelt and glanced in the rearview mirror to be sure Daniel
had done the same.
"You
don't have to take me." Daniel stared down at his trophy,
his fingers running appreciatively across the etched words.
"Well,
maybe I want ice cream." Jack was determined to get to the
bottom of this.
Daniel's
eyebrows rose in surprise when they pulled into Anderson's
parking lot.
"Best
ice cream in town," Jack said over his shoulder.
"Shouldn't
we go home and pick up Charlie and Sara?"
Jack
frowned. "Heck no. Let 'em get their own ice cream."
He got out of the car, his frown deepening when he noticed
Daniel wasn't moving. "C'mon," he encouraged.
Daniel
reluctantly trailed after him into the store and sat down beside
him at the counter. A teenaged boy wearing an apron came
over to serve them.
"What'll
you have, guys?"
After
much soul-searching Daniel decided on the coffee lover's delight
sundae while Jack lived it up with the peanut butter bliss.
When
Daniel was relaxed and happily eating away Jack made his move.
"You don't like me much, do ya, sport?"
Daniel
appeared shocked at the directness but Jack wasn't one to beat
around the bush. He was a recently promoted Air Force Colonel;
he had a master's degree from Northwestern; he had graduated
second in his class for Special Forces training and in his heart
he still felt he should have been first. Jack O'Neill had
confidence, command skills, and he thought he was a pretty good
husband and father to boot. At least he tried. It shouldn't
matter that an orphaned ten-year-old had no use for him. But it
did. It bugged the crap out of him and he was determined to get
to the bottom of it right now.
Daniel
lifted his head from the sundae he was shoveling in and looked
him straight in the eye. "You don't like me." It
wasn't a question but a statement of fact.
Jack
resisted the urge to deny it. He admired the kid's guts in
answering the question honestly, head on, and didn't want to
give a pat answer.
"Why
do you say that?"
"I
heard you tell Sara that Charlie and I don't have much in common
because I'm more of a geek. It's okay, Jack. I don't care."
Daniel was so casual, it would be easy to believe him.
Shit!
Jack had a big mouth but he honestly hadn't meant anything
derogatory. He could fix this. "You're right, I did say
that, but I meant it in the best of ways."
Daniel
licked his spoon and waited.
"I'll
admit that back in the old days when I was a kid, being a geek
was a negative but nowadays... well, you know, it's all
different now."
"It
is?" For the first time, Daniel seemed genuinely interested
in what he had to say.
"Surely
a kid as smart as you must have noticed."
Daniel
tilted his head and worried his bottom lip, obviously intrigued.
Jack
set his spoon down to concentrate. This was his big chance to
get it right and he was determined not to blow it. "Where I
work, the scientists make all the money and on the average
they're twice as smart as the officers." Jack raised his
finger for emphasis, "I'd venture to guess three or four
times smarter than the jarheads."
"Really?"
The question was filled with hope.
"Oh
yes. Take the Geek Squad at Best Buy for example. They actually
advertise they're geeks. Do you think they'd do that if it was a
put down? Of course they wouldn't. Not all of us can do
that job."
"Geek
Squad?"
Jack
waved him off. "Forget the Geek Squad, I'm just saying that
super geeks are in demand everywhere."
Daniel
blinked at that. "Am I a super geek?"
Hmm,
could be a trick question. "Do you want to be?"
"Maybe.
So..." Daniel raised his index finger to his lips.
"Geeks are good?"
"Yep,
the word has gone full cycle. Now it's a good thing." When
Daniel's eyes scrunched in suspicion Jack decided to dial it
down a notch and bring it home. "In your case, it
means you're smarter than the average person." He gave
Daniel a wink and a smile, hoping that would settle it.
Daniel
appeared satisfied and smiled back. "Were you a geek,
Jack?"
Oh,
not hardly, my boy. "Me? No. I've always been more like...
the Fonz." He smirked and scooped up the last spoonful of
his peanut butter bliss.
"Who's
the Fonz?" Daniel asked, wrinkling his nose in confusion.
"Arthur
Fonzarelli, the coolest..." Jack stopped short at the blank
look in the blue eyes. "Never mind. Doesn't matter. The
point is geeks rule the world and the rest of us just have to
live with it."
Jack
was relieved at Daniel's genuine smile and made a mental note to
be more careful about what he said to Sara when he thought no
one was listening.
He
pulled out some preemptive napkins while Daniel took his time
and happily savored the last spoonful of melted mocha, his
tongue darting out to catch a drip making its way down his chin.
"Jack,"
Daniel said thoughtfully. "Maybe the geeks at your work
aren't as smart as you think they are."
"Why
would you say that?"
Daniel
took his time, wiping at the sticky mess on his chin.
“They got the translation all wrong. They think it says 'door
to heaven' but it doesn't say that. I think it says 'gateway to
the stars.'"
Stunned,
Jack glanced around at the nearby booths, relieved to find them
empty. "Come on."
He
left a couple of bucks on the counter and led Daniel out to the
car, his mind racing in an effort to figure out where Daniel
could possibly have come up with that top secret bit of Intel.
He had the highest level of clearance and was always careful.
Extremely careful.
Sara
had warned Daniel not to go into his home office. No one was
allowed in there without permission. Daniel must have disobeyed.
Jack bit back his growing anger at the thought. Don't jump
to conclusions, O'Neill. Give the kid a chance to explain.
As
soon as both car doors were closed Jack turned to face the
little geek in the back seat and in the calmest voice he could
muster asked the million-dollar question. "Daniel, how did
you know that?"
"Know
what?" Daniel seemed distractedly oblivious.
"About
the gateway at my work. How did you know about it?"
Jack
knew the moment Daniel understood the implication of the
question. The poor kid turned a fairly deep shade of red.
"It's
okay," Jack coaxed. "I'm not mad. I'm just wondering
how you knew, that's all."
"I
read it in your papers," Daniel confessed to the car mats.
"I-I'm sorry, Jack. I shouldn't have looked at your papers.
Sara answered the phone and I didn't want to listen and I didn't
know I wasn't supposed to go in your office then so I did
and...” He gulped audibly. “I'm really sorry."
Jack
stared at the kid in amazement. Yes, he had brought the files
home and, yes, Daniel had obviously seen them, but how could he
possibly know what they said? He had to be guessing. That's all
there was to it. Except... his guesses were awfully close
to the scientists' guesses...
"It's
okay," Jack reassured him. "I'm just wondering why you
think the geeks got it wrong."
Daniel
relaxed at Jack's deliberately casual attitude. "It's
written in the Egyptian snake code. My mom and dad taught me how
to read it when they discovered artifacts with that writing. We
called it the snake code because a lot of the artifacts had
serpents on them."
Jack
felt like his head was spinning. This couldn't be happening. But
here was Daniel, orphaned child genius, raised in Egypt by his
parents, parents who he now realized, they knew very little
about. He was aware they had been archaeologists and linguists,
and apparently they had also been smart. Very, very smart.
He'd
have to take Daniel to the Mountain to figure out just how
smart.
Chapter
6
"Jack,
why do I have to come to work with you?" Daniel finally
found the courage to ask the question that was making him sweat
in the back seat of the Avalanche.
Mercifully,
Jack stopped his maddening, tuneless whistling to answer.
"I want to show you a few artifacts with the snake code
writing on it. See if you can tell us what it says. Relax, it'll
be fun."
"How
come you wouldn't let Charlie come? He really, really wanted to
come. I think he was mad."
That's
what bothered Daniel the most. Charlie had begged to come to
Jack's work. Apparently, Jack had never taken him. Despite
Charlie's pleas Jack wouldn't budge, he absolutely forbid it.
Charlie was the 'real' kid. If this were a truly fun event,
Charlie would be going, not the foster kid. Nope, Daniel had a
sinking feeling this wasn't going to be fun at all. He nervously
played with his seatbelt and desperately wished he were home
with Sara and Jack was driving to work by himself.
"Charlie
doesn't know the snake code," Jack said mildly as he pulled
into a huge parking lot and led him out of the truck and up to
the entrance.
"This
is your work?" They were entering a mountain. Daniel
couldn't help gaping at the huge access doors. He was aware Jack
worked at Cheyenne Mountain, but for some reason, it hadn't
occurred to him that it was an actual mountain.
It
was silly but Daniel wished he could hold Jack's hand when they
stepped inside the dark, foreboding Air Force base and the heavy
steel doors locked behind them.
"This
is my friend, Daniel Jackson. He needs an I.D. badge," Jack
said to the guard when he stopped at the desk to sign his name.
"Yes,
sir." The airman immediately went to work on the
computer and whipped up a name tag in no time flat.
Daniel
didn't know much about the military or the Air Force but he
noticed that the soldiers called Jack 'sir' and saluted so Jack
must be very important. That was a surprise.
"Here
ya go, son." Too nervous to speak, Daniel just nodded as
the airman looped the badge over his head.
"Thank
you," he squeaked out at Jack's urging.
Jack
took the lead and Daniel followed closely, terrified at the
thought of getting lost. They stopped at the elevators and Jack
gave him a long look.
"You
okay?"
"I'm
fine," Daniel answered quickly. Sometimes, saying it made
him feel better.
"Okay."
Jack cocked an eyebrow at him. "Good. I'm going to take you
to meet a few people and they'll show you the writing. You sure
you're okay?"
"Fine."
Jack
nodded as the elevator doors opened and they traveled quickly
through a maze of corridors. Jack walked rather briskly and
Daniel focused on keeping up. Without Jack, Daniel was positive
he'd be hopelessly lost.
Relief
swept through Daniel when they finally stopped and entered a lab
designated Archaeology Department. He was sad to realize the
familiar word no longer held much comfort.
"Good
morning, campers! How are my favorite scientists today?"
The scientists all glared but Jack didn't seem to notice.
"Daniel, this is Captain Carter, Dr. Meyers, Dr. Shore and
their staff. Everyone, this is Daniel Jackson. Show him what ya
got, see what he knows. I'll be in my office if you need
me."
Jack
was leaving him here? He wished he could wrap his arms around
Jack's waist and beg him to stay. But he wasn't a baby, and
despite what Jack had said about geeks and super geeks, Daniel
was quite certain Jack didn't actually like him. They didn't
have anything in common, and to make matters worse, he had read
through Jack's private work papers. Come to think of it,
Jack had probably never wanted another kid in the first place.
Daniel Jackson was most likely Sara's idea. Today it was obvious
Jack couldn't wait to get away from him.
"He's
got to be kidding," Dr. Meyers roared as soon as Jack had
left the room. "This is an outrage." He pointed at
Daniel. "He's a, a, he's a child!"
The
other scientists mumbled their agreement. "No offense,
kid," Dr. Shore offered as Daniel blushed a rosy shade of
red.
"That's
enough," the pretty blonde woman said. "He's here so
obviously the Colonel thinks he may have something to
contribute. Let's get to it."
"This
is ridiculous. I'm not sharing two years of my life's work,
that's top secret I might add, with a little kid. This is what
happens when the military tries to run a project like this. They
shouldn't be involved. They're clueless. They turn everything
into a three-ring circus. No offense, Captain."
Daniel
wished the floor would open and swallow him up.
The
blonde woman looked annoyed but kept her cool. "It won't
hurt to show him a few writings. Even if just to satisfy the
Colonel and report that we tried." She turned her attention
to him and smiled. "Have a seat, Daniel."
Daniel
obediently climbed up in the chair, relieved when the woman sat
beside him. She opened up her briefcase and removed some papers.
After looking them over briefly she carefully selected one.
"By
the way, I'm Captain Samantha Carter." She smiled.
"You can call me Sam." He felt slightly better when
she winked at him.
"Can
you read this, Daniel?" She pushed the paper towards him.
He
looked down at the writing and tried to block out the angry
adult faces. He wanted to scream that it wasn't his fault. He
hadn't wanted to come to Cheyenne Mountain, or to Colorado for
that matter. He hadn't even wanted to come to New York that
deadly summer. None of it was his fault.
The
phrase was a simple one that his mind translated immediately.
Would it be better to tell them what it said or pretend he
didn't know? He wasn't sure. The woman, Sam, stared
expectantly. She was pretty and nice and he didn't want to
disappoint her. Still, it would probably be safer to deny any
knowledge. Maybe then they'd let him go home to Sara and
Charlie.
Before
he had a chance to answer, Dr. Meyers snickered again about
wasting precious time. They were so confident he couldn't do it.
It made him angry. He'd show them.
"
Hakorr kra terak shree," Daniel said slowly, pleased at the
attention he was commanding. "It means, 'banished to
oblivion'." He pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled
sweetly. It was fun seeing the look of shock on the geeks'
faces.
"Wait
here," Sam said quickly. A few minutes later she returned
with a canopic jar.
"Can
you read this?" Sam placed the jar before him.
Of
course he could. He knew the snake code and could read anything
written in it. He froze at the words.
"It
was a fluke!" Dr. Meyer's smug voice rose with delight and
relief at his hesitation.
When
Daniel reached out to touch the jar his heart lurched
unexpectedly. The jar was from Egypt. Home. His home. For the
past two years, every day had found him further away from the
home he loved. He scrunched his eyes closed to fight back the
tears and squelch down the panic rising in his chest. His home
was gone. He'd never go home again. He had been showing off his
linguistic skills to Jack at the
ice cream parlor and now he was stuck here where the sun never
rose off the golden sand or set in the pink sky beyond the
pyramids. He was here, trapped in a dark, gloomy mountain in
Colorado. About as far away from home as he had ever been.
"Tal
met. Priem ta shree, tal ma," he translated, willing his
voice to stop shaking. "It means, 'our love does not end in
death.'"
The
snakes got that one wrong. He hadn't felt loved in a very long
time. He glanced down at his hands, wondering why no one seemed
happy about his abilities. They set more papers in front of him
along with a few odd-looking artifacts.
Daniel
took a deep breath of the re-circulated air, glanced around the
table at the stern faces and began to translate.
"O'Neill."
Jack answered his phone on the first ring, thrilled for any
distraction from the never-ending pile of paperwork.
"Sir,
this is Captain Carter..."
Jack
glanced at his watch. Holy crap, two o'clock already. Time
always flew at the Mountain, especially with meetings all
morning and General West climbing all over his ass for promised,
slightly overdue reports.
"How's
Daniel?" He must be fine or they would have called.
"Great.
He knows his stuff, sir."
"Well,
what do ya know?" Hot damn. Of all the kids for Sara to
bring home... He couldn't help marveling at the coincidence.
"And
he's okay?" Jack tried not to sound anxious. He could kick
himself for not checking on the kid sooner.
"He
was doing fine this morning, Colonel. I was called away and I
just went back there, and to be honest, sir, he looks pretty
worn out. He's says he's fine but he hasn't eaten lunch."
"Oh
for crying out loud," Jack muttered. "Scientists don't
eat lunch?"
"They
ate, sir. Apparently they brought in some lunch for Daniel but
he didn't eat. He said he wasn't hungry but..."
"Yeah,
never mind the rest, Carter. I'll go down there and get him.
Thanks for the heads-up."
Jack
shook off the feelings of guilt and headed for the lab. Maybe he
had forgotten about the kid for a couple of hours but he was
busy and besides, Daniel didn't like him all that much anyway.
The kid was probably just as glad to get rid of him.
"Jack?"
Daniel said in a very quiet voice as they sat in the commissary.
"What?
The burger's no good? They don't have the best food here."
"Are
you going to leave me here?" Daniel stared down at the
barely-eaten burger.
"Where?"
"Here."
"Here?
In the cafeteria?"
"In
the Mountain."
"Do
you like it here?"
Daniel
looked up and for the first time Jack saw how close to tears the
poor kid was.
"The
scientists don't like me."
"They
don't like you?"
“They
don't like that I can translate the snake writings. They
said I don't belong here, that I'm interfering with an important
project they've spent the last two years of their lives working
on. They don't want me here.” He stopped abruptly,
not quite able to swallow a gulp.
Jack
gritted his teeth. Those damn scientists! Carter had
said Daniel knew his stuff. What the hell was the matter
with them? They'd been spinning their wheels for two
years. If Daniel could help them out you'd think they'd be
jumping up and down in gratitude.
Wait
a minute. Now he got it. They were jealous.
Those damn, smug, think-they-know-it-all scientists were jealous
of a ten-year-old genius. His temper flared at the
thought. Jack took help
wherever he could get it. His pride and dignity never figured
into the equation.
“Yeah,
they're right,” he said slowly. “They have been
working on this project for two years. And they're stuck.
They've been going over the same stuff for months and not
getting anywhere with it. Maybe you can help them out.”
Daniel
shook his head, staring at his plate again. “They don't
want my help. I translated the writing on a jar they
hadn't been able to understand and they weren't happy about it,
not at all.”
“How
do you know you got it right?” Jack asked cautiously, not
wanting to make the kid feel worse.
Daniel
shrugged. “Because it matched some writing from a
fragment of papyrus that Captain - that Sam has.”
Excitement
stirred in Jack's gut. This kid was the genuine article.
Was it possible he might actually be able to solve this riddle
that Carter's people hadn't figured out after two years of
trying?
One
thing was certain. He needed to give Daniel as much
support and encouragement as possible to keep him going on this.
He'd talk to Carter, too, tell her to rein in her scientists or
he would.
“Of
course you're not staying here, Daniel,” he said reassuringly.
At that, the blonde head rose quickly and the boy looked at him
with suspiciously bright but hopeful eyes.
“You're
coming back home with me,” Jack said firmly. “But I'd
like to bring you back here...”
Damn,
the kid was starting to droop again. Jack spoke more
quickly.
“This
could be important. The scientists need your help, even if
they don't want to admit it. Maybe just once in a while,
you could come back here with me and help them out. What
d'ya say?”
Daniel
didn't look thrilled with the idea. Jack had a sudden
flash of Sara's reaction if she found out he was trying to
persuade the kid to do something he really didn't want to do.
Not a good thought. Maybe he needed to go about this
another way.
“Your
folks taught you the snake language, right?”
“Yes.”
The blue eyes blinked at him in surprise.
“And
they obviously taught you good.”
Daniel
lifted his chin. “They were the best in their field.
Everyone said so.” There was no missing the pride in his
voice.
It
had been two years since his parents had died. Jack
realized with a pang of sympathy that Daniel hadn't let go.
He was still holding on to his dead parents, still holding on to
a life that was no longer his. Other things came into
focus and Jack knew he needed to talk to Sara.
“Maybe,”
he said with a new gentleness, “you could teach Captain Carter
and her scientists some of what your folks taught you.
They could sure use your help, even if they say they don't.”
This
time Jack didn't see the same resistance in the boy's eyes and
followed that up quickly. “You don't have to come back
if you really don't want to but maybe you can think about it.
Okay?”
Daniel
was still for a moment, then he nodded cautiously.
“Okay, I'll think about it.”
“Okay.” Jack sat
back in his chair and smiled.
On to Part 2
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