MUCH ABIDES  BY DARCY & SAMI-J

Chapter 1 
 

It had finally happened.  

Mr. Denton's right fist had put him, Daniel Jackson, ten-going-on-sixty years old, in the hospital. It took four months and fourteen days, if anyone besides himself was counting. Mr. Denton wasn't a bad man, just a man whose drinking problem had finally caught up with him. Mrs. Denton, Martha, he was supposed to call her Martha, was kindly, and like many other foster moms, took in children in an effort to make up for the lack of love and caring in her own life, which Daniel supposed was worse since Martha was well aware of her husband's little problem.   

It was silly but a part of him hated to see the placement end. He liked the school he attended, his room was cool in that he didn't have to share, and eighty percent of the time the Denton's home was relatively calm and stress-free. On the other hand, the twenty percent was a bitch landing him in the hospital with two cracked ribs, a black eye and a swollen lip. He looked like one of the Saturday afternoon wrestlers Mr. Denton was so fond of shouting at.   

"Daniel, dinner."  It was Sara O'Neill, his favorite nurse.  

It wasn't normal, but Daniel liked hospitals. The staff was usually nice, and for the most part, they left you alone except to bring food and occasionally check your temperature and blood pressure. He had books to read and no worries of school and teachers and bullies and Mr. Denton's drinking habits.  

"This isn't from the cafeteria!"  Daniel's face lit up with delight when he lifted the lid covering his supper to reveal a fat, beef burrito smothered in salsa and sour cream with refried beans and chips on the side.   

Nurse Sara chuckled at his enthusiasm. "No, you caught me. This is from El Charros. My husband tells me it's the best. He should know, he's a connoisseur of all things take-out. Take a bite and tell me what you think."  

Daniel did as she suggested. "It's great! Thank you, Sara," he beamed, smiling his brightest smile. 

"No problem. I thought you might be getting sick of hospital food." She sat down in the chair beside his bed and brushed the hair off his forehead. "So how are you feeling?"  

Not an easy question. Daniel Jackson hated being any trouble, but he also had no desire to leave the comfort of the hospital and the company of his nurse, confidant, and caretaker. "My ribs are still a little sore." He wrinkled his nose and rubbed them gently for emphasis. A compromise. They were still a little sore, though not near the sting of what they were when he had been admitted.   

"You're getting there," she encouraged. "You finish eating and I'll come back for our walk." She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed and for a second he could imagine he was her friend and not her job. Briefly, he wondered if she snuck other patients take-out food. Probably, he wasn't anyone special.  

Mindful of savoring every mouthful, Daniel ate slowly, daydreaming about finding a new home with someone loving and kind like his own mom had been. Not Sara, she was married with a boy around his age and that never worked out. Not only that, she had a husband who was in the military and husbands were always scary. Long ago he had decided that the only nice dad in the world had been his own. So not Sara, but someone like Sara, only single and childless. He had to admit the odds of finding a new, acceptable home were practically nonexistent, but hey, a kid can dream, can't he?  

Daniel finished the last tasty bite and washed it down with the milk on his tray and waited for Sara to take him on his walk around the ward. There weren't many kids around tonight which was good, he could monopolize Sara's time without feeling guilty. Maybe she'd let him help organize her paperwork again. He was good at that.  

"Ready?"  

"Yep." He drew the covers down and waited until her strong hands reached below his armpits to help steady him, luxuriating in the few seconds of gentle human contact.    

They started their routine evening trek down the hall, Daniel walking slower than his injuries warranted. 

"Do you know where you're going after you're discharged?" The genuine concern in her voice warmed his heart.  

"No. I'll miss the Denton's."  

From her reaction, he guessed he shouldn't have said that. Sara was looking at him strangely and he felt the need to further explain. "Trade offs," he said quietly. "I liked my room and my school." 

"No one deserves to be hit, honey."  

A surprise lump rose in his throat when she leaned over and kissed his hair.     

"Sara?" A few awkward moments had passed and Daniel decided a change of subject was in order. The last thing he wanted was for people to feel sorry for him.  

"Yes, Daniel?" She rubbed his shoulder and looked at him when he spoke, as if he had something important to say.  He liked that. No one had looked at him like that since... The Accident. That's what the adults called it. The Accident. As if it were spilled milk or the wrong brand of coffee. The two people who mattered most were gone and he was alone. An "accident" cheapened it into something benign and acceptable. Then again, it was hard to find the right words. If there were any right words. 

"Thank you for bringing me a special dinner. I have money in my backpack if you need it."  

"Forget it. Don't be silly." She waved off the notion of payback with another light squeeze to his shoulder.  

"It was really nice of you. You had to go out of your way and spend your own money, too." There wasn't much time left to his hospital stay, a day, two at the most, and he wanted her to understand his appreciation. "I won't forget," he insisted.   

Sara walked beside him and frowned as she wrote on his chart. "It was nothing, Daniel. No trouble at all. El Charros is right on my way to work."  

He nodded his agreement even though she was wrong. It was something, and tonight when he was supposed to be asleep he'd write about it in his journal. An act of true kindness, so rare in the past two years that it needed to be recorded, celebrated, revered and remembered.  

The front door burst open and immediately slammed shut.  Sara winced, smiled, and shook her head. 

“Sara?  You home?” 

“In the kitchen, Jack,” she called. 

A moment later strong arms closed around her from behind and he kissed the nape of her neck. 

“Hey, honey.  Everything going okay today?” 

She turned around and gave him a quick kiss.  “Considering half the staff is out with the flu and the rest of us are pulling double shifts I could say everything is wonderful but I'd be lying.” 

Jack leaned back for a better look.  “No wonder you look so beat.  You're not getting sick, too, are you?” 

Sara laughed and pulled out of his grasp. “I'll take that as an expression of concern and not as a comment on how I look.” 

“What?”  Jack huffed air, giving her an indignant look.  “You look great, as always.  I just asked if...” 

“I'm perfectly healthy, thank you for your concern.  I'm just starting dinner so it's going to be at least a half hour before it's ready.  You've got time for a shower and a quick look at the sports page.” 

Jack grinned but Sara was surprised to see his look of concern lingering. 

“You just finished a double shift.  Why don't you take it easy and I'll order something to be delivered.” 

She smiled and gave his face a caressing stroke.  “Thanks for the thought but you know I enjoy cooking.  It helps me unwind.  Go, get out of my kitchen.” 

“It's awfully quiet around here.  Where's Charlie?” he asked, retreating to the doorway. 

“He's having dinner at Spencer's.  He's also spending the night there.” 

“On a school night?” Jack's eyebrows rose.   

“This is a test run,” she assured him.  “I told Charlie that any possible future repeats will depend on how well he handles this one.” 

Jack sighed.  “Well, he's not a little kid anymore.  I guess we can give it a try.” 

“Thank you for the vote of confidence,” she said dryly. 

He grinned, threw her a kiss, and disappeared, only to reappear a minute later. 

“This means we have the house to ourselves tonight, right?” he demanded. 

Sara laughed at his hopeful expression.  “What'd you have in mind, sailor?  Some kind of orgy?” 

“Wrong branch of the military,” Jack reminded her.  “And I was thinking about a one-on-one orgy.  Maybe in front of the fireplace?  Interested?” 

She shook her head, unable to suppress another laugh.  “Possibly, Flyboy.  Get back to me after dinner.” 

“Oh, yeah!” 

He disappeared again and Sara headed for the pantry.  They had the chicken breasts left over from last night.  She had fresh broccoli, yellow squash and red bell peppers in the refrigerator.  And angel hair pasta.  That's what she'd make for dinner.  Chicken pasta primavera.  Add a salad and they'd be all set. 

And then? 

Sara knew what Jack was looking forward to tonight.  So was she, but she had another agenda he didn't know about and that would have to be resolved before any kind of orgy could occur.  Or should she wait until after? 

She thought back to her last conversation with young Daniel Jackson, just before her shift had ended.  Her heart ached at the memory of his surprise when she had presented him with the meal from El Charros. More than surprised, he had been momentarily speechless. 

A surge of anger broke into the memory.  What had happened to that sweet little boy that a simple act of kindness had shocked him into silence?  She knew part of the story.  An abusive foster parent. 

Pain broke her concentration and Sara looked down to see her hands clasped into fists so tight her nails were cutting into her palms.  She flexed her fingers and sighed over the indentations in her skin. It was nothing compared to what had happened to Daniel. 

Sara had a bachelor's degree in nursing and intended to go on for her master's one day.  She had taken all of the required courses and knew, intellectually, the reasons behind child abuse.  But her intellect failed her before the reality of Daniel's bruises and cracked ribs. 

Her eyes burned and she hastily rubbed at them with the back of her hand.  Beyond her fury at what had happened, and her sadness for the pain Daniel had suffered through no fault of his own, was a growing anger at the system that was supposed to protect him. 

No one had come to see Daniel at the hospital.  Not one person.  A woman from Social Services had appeared the night he was admitted but that had been simply to take a report.  There were occasional phone calls from the department checking on his status but the person at the other end never asked about Daniel, never showed any real interest.  No one had exhibited one iota of concern for an abused ten-year-old boy. 

Sara wasn't sure when the idea first came to her or if it were even possible.  For the idea to have any chance of success, she was going to have to get Jack to agree and that wasn't going to be easy. 

His schedule at Cheyenne Mountain was crazy, and her own schedule at the hospital kept her busy.  Not to mention the double shifts she was currently committed to. If their schedules weren't big enough obstacles, there was their son, Charlie, eleven going on thirty, except for sometimes when he seemed to be going on five.  He was the light of their lives and, on occasion, the bane of their existence. 

To bring another child into their busy lives, to ask Charlie to share his parents with a stranger... Sara sighed in uncertainty.  As much as she wanted Daniel out of the hospital and a part of their hectic but loving family, she wasn't sure she had the right to ask that of Jack and Charlie.  

First things first. In this case, the first thing was to get Jack to visit Daniel.  Considering how much Jack loved kids, she hoped he wouldn't be able to say no once he actually met the boy. 

Two hours and a one-on-one orgy later, Sara and Jack were curled up together on the sofa.  Only one lamp was turned on; the rest of the light came from the dying fire in the fireplace. 

Jack exhaled and his breath tickled her ear.  “Guess I should put another log on,” he observed with a yawn. 

Sara laughed softly.  “Not if you're about to fall asleep.” 

“Mmm,” he murmured.  “Maybe we should take this upstairs.  Our bed's bigger than this couch and more comfortable than the rug.” 

“In a little bit,” Sara temporized.  “First we need to talk.” 

“About what?” 

Sara had thought hard about how to bring up the issue but hadn't been able to settle on a particular approach.  Just throw it out there, she decided. 

“I'd like you to come by the hospital tomorrow.” 

“Why?” His arms loosened their grip on her and he shifted so he could look at her face.   

“There's someone I'd like you to meet.” 

Jack listened to what she had to say with a growing sense of foreboding.  He liked to think he was a good husband and father.  At least he tried to be.  After fifteen years of marriage he was still crazy about his wife.  She was smart and funny and beautiful, kind and caring, and she possessed an inner strength that awed him. 

She also had an incredibly soft heart for strays and waifs and other orphans of the storm.  He wasn't surprised she had taken up this boy's cause as her own.  What concerned him was how far she intended to take it. 

Sara had finished and was looking at him expectantly.  Not a good thing when he didn't agree with her.   

“This isn't a good time for me to take time off,” he finally said.  “Things are busy at the mountain. General West wouldn't be too thrilled with me disappearing in the middle of the day.” 

“It doesn't have to be in the middle of the day,” Sara said patiently.  “You could come by the hospital tomorrow night on your way home.  He's all alone, Jack.  He hasn't had one visitor all week and he's going to be released back to Social Services in two days.  All I'm asking is that you take a little time to say hi, let him know that someone other than a hospital employee cares about what happens to him.  Just be a friend to him.” 

She was being so reasonable.  So caring.  He could feel his resistance growing, despite a twinge of shame.  Don't think about the boy, Jack ordered himself.  He couldn't afford to weaken here. 

“Sara?” he said warningly.  “Tell me the truth.” 

Her clear blue eyes met his.  “I always do,” she said matter-of-factly. 

“Right,” Jack acknowledged.  “Are you thinking about us fostering this kid?” 

“His name is Daniel.” 

“Are you thinking about us fostering Daniel?” He refused to give an inch.   

“Right now all I'm thinking about is how much he needs a friend.”  She slipped out of his arms and leaned back, studying him with a thoughtful expression that always made him nervous. 

"Why are you being so stubborn? I just want you to meet him."  

Jack bit his tongue. That's the same thing she had said about the puppy, the goldfish and the short-lived ferret fiasco. Come to think of it, that's how they purchased their last car. 'I don't want to buy it; I just want you to see it.' Ha!   

"I don't need to meet him," he said cautiously. "What's the point if he'll be gone in two days?"   

"Jack! Don't be that way. You like kids. He's lonely. I don't understand your objection."  

"If we're not seriously entertaining the idea of taking him in then what possible point would there be to my meeting him?" She'd have to come clean. She couldn't deny that bit of logic.   

She folded her arms and shot him a dirty look. Or could she? 

A light went on. They should meet. It was serious. Because... because maybe she had already decided.  This wasn't just about fostering the kid. This was more. Damn it! It wasn't fair.   

"We agreed on having another child," she reminded him from the same determined pose.  

That was true, he had agreed. Sort of...  "We agreed on adopting a baby girl, not a ten-year-old traumatized boy. What about Charlie? Have you thought about him?"  

"I'll talk to Charlie." Her lips pursed in thought before she took a deep cleansing breath and narrowed her eyes for good measure. "Don't even pretend you're thinking about Charlie. You're thinking about you."  

Shit. She was probably right.   

In his defense, Jack already worried about being home enough for Charlie; now he would have someone else to worry about. What if the kid turned out to have serious problems? Sara would be left alone to deal with all of it while he was away playing soldier. Worst of all, he was positive he could never love another boy as much as he loved Charlie. A girl would have been different, a whole new ballgame. Was that fair to this unknown boy? He debated whether he should share his concerns with his unshakable wife.  

One look at her face convinced him not to waste his breath. He threw up his hands in surrender. "Okay, you win, I'll meet him.  What's one more kid to take to batting practice and shag fly balls?"   

She relaxed and snickered. "Daniel's not really the baseball type." 

"Football?" 

"I don't think so." 

"Hockey?"  

She scoffed at that one.  

"No hockey?" 

"He grew up in Egypt." 

"Ah. He can learn. And if he doesn't like sports I'm versatile. We can do other things like... fishing. We can fish." He talked with smooth confidence to cover his doubt. A military trick.  

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I hate to tell you this, honey, but fishing is a sport."  

"Not the way I fish." He turned around and kissed her lips. 

She kissed him back soundly before pulling away to frown. "Jack..." 

"Hmm?" 

"When you go to see him... don't... you know." 

"What?" He eyed her closely, still warm and fuzzy from the kiss.   

"Don't crowd him. He's been through a lot." 

"Crowd him? What are you talking about? I'm not going to crowd him. I'll just be myself," he said with more bravado than he felt.   

"That's exactly what I'm talking about."  

Jack gazed at her in growing confusion.  

"You can be yourself," she relented. "Just try to be a little less yourself than usual. Okay?"  

"Less... me?" he grumbled indignantly. He started to rise but she stopped him.    

"Jack?" 

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her.  She was positively glowing. 

"I love you." 

Jack leaned in to kiss her lips and smell her hair. "I love you, too." 
 

Chapter 2 
 

Daniel turned a page but when he couldn't remember what he'd just read, he closed the book with an irritated slam.  He glanced at the half-eaten dinner tray sitting beside the bed and made a face.  Why did hospitals have to overcook everything?  Always.  And they served it to sick people, which only compounded the crime as far as he was concerned. 

He thought back to the delicious meal Sara had brought him from... what was the name of that restaurant?  He couldn't remember but it didn't matter.  In a little over a day he'd be back at the Home. 

That was a bad joke, calling that place a home.  But it's where he kept ending up between foster homes. 

Daniel sighed and gave his head a shake.  It didn't matter.  He could do this.  He had to.  It was just like walking, putting one foot in front of the other.  It didn't matter if the path was occasionally difficult.  He'd just keep putting one foot in front of the other until one day he was through the system and able to be out on his own. 

Meanwhile, he'd just keep walking... 

Daniel glanced at the open door and swallowed hard.  As much as he didn't like thinking about the Home, it was better than worrying about the unwanted visitor. 

He wanted to be angry with Nurse Sara but he couldn't, despite the alarming news she had given him this afternoon - her husband was coming by to introduce himself and say hi.  

“I hope you'll like him,” she said.  “He's a nice guy, although I admit he does have a screwy sense of humor.” 

“Why is he coming here?” Daniel had been pleased by the calmness of his voice. 

“He's heard me talking about you and thought it'd be nice to meet you.” 

As much as he liked Nurse Sara, Daniel didn't believe her. From the things she had said, her husband was career military, a Colonel in the Air Force no less, and he was a big sports fan.  Daniel couldn't imagine anyone he'd have less in common with than this man. 

He looked down at the book in his lap.  He'd be willing to bet anything that Colonel O'Neill wouldn't be interested in this book. 

Daniel knew what was going on.  He had begun to suspect it a couple of days ago.  Nurse Sara was so nice, she had gone out of her way to bring special meals and ask him about the kinds of things he liked.  She had even brought him this book from the local library. All of her efforts didn't help ease the growing lump in his throat. 

He was on trial again.  He knew it.  And he hated the feeling. 

Colonel O'Neill wasn't coming by to say hi.  He was coming by to study him, to see if he'd be willing to take the poor orphaned kid into his home. 

Daniel had been through it numerous times in the last two years.  He knew the signs, he even knew the stages.  At first everyone was excited and welcomed him into their household.  Soon afterward came the slow disenchantment, the gradual realization that he didn't fit, didn't belong.  Sometimes it only took a couple of weeks, sometimes he lasted a few months.  Eventually the experiment ended and he wound up back at the Home, waiting to go through the painful process all over again with the next family. 

As much as Daniel liked Sara, she had a husband and a son.  Experience taught him those situations never worked out.  Not for him. 

He knew it, hated it, and was helpless to change it.  Just as he had been helpless to change Nurse Sara's mind, as hard as he had tried. 

Now he was waiting.  Again.  Waiting to be judged, knowing that, sooner or later, he would be found inadequate.  Just like always. 

"Hi. Daniel Jackson? I'm Jack, Jack O'Neill." 

Daniel looked up to see a stranger standing in the doorway.  The man was tall and lean, very tan and fit-looking.  Despair filled him.  If he needed any evidence to prove his theory that this would never work out, the sight of this man confirmed it. 

Maybe if he ignored the man he'd go away.  It was probably a forlorn hope, but at this point he was desperate to avoid being rejected.  Again. 

"Jack O'Neill, Nurse Sara's husband?" The tall man in the jeans wasn't giving up easily.  

"Hi," Daniel managed, barely covering his disappointment. Damn it! He only had a precious day or two left here and he wanted to spend the time with Sara. Not playacting and making nice with her husband.  

"Watchya reading?"  

To Daniel's great disappointment, Jack O'Neill pulled the chair closer to the bed and settled in. He didn't look like he'd be leaving any time soon.  

"Just a book." Daniel hastily closed it and set it aside, away from Sara's husband, who didn't seem like the type who would enjoy "An Archaeologist's View of Ancient Mayan Culture."  

"So, Sara says you're feeling better and will be getting out of this joint soon."   

Daniel nodded to be polite in deference to Sara and pushed up his glasses.  

"Got any plans?"  

To Daniel's dismay the husband reached over and picked up the book and began fiddling with the pages. "Not really. I don't get to make my own plans." He kept one eye on the man and the other on the book, hoping the man wouldn't ruin it.   

"If you could make your own plans what would they be?"  

Daniel flushed under the scrutiny. For some reason it felt like Sara's husband could see inside of him.  

"Nothing?" the relentless man prodded, his eyes maintaining contact while his fingers continued to absently flip the pages back and forth.   

Daniel relaxed a bit, deciding the man had no intention of ripping the book, it seemed to be more of a nervous habit. "I-I guess I'd go live with my grandfather and help him with his work."  

"Ah, sounds like a good plan."  

Daniel lowered his head, wishing he hadn't expressed that thought out loud. He normally kept those personal dreams to himself. Come to think of it, no one had ever asked him.  Something made him add, "Except my grandfather doesn't... well, he's too busy right now to take me in. He probably will when I'm older,” he quickly amended.  

He squirmed when the husband didn't immediately answer.  Daniel had been hoping for that particular dream to come true since getting beyond the initial shock of The Accident. It was a hope that only worked when he was able to forget about Grandpa Nick's obvious disinterest in him. 

The husband nodded. "So, what do you like to do for fun?"  

"Fun?" Daniel blinked and cleared his throat, stalling for time. Aside from studying languages and ancient Egyptian text, he didn't find much fun. Sara's husband didn't know him but the man's questions had a knack for invading his comfort zone. 

"Yeah, fun. Sports, rollerblading, wrestling, computer games, music... fishing. Do ya like fishing?"  

Despite the pitifully long pause nothing came to mind. He had never fished a day in his life. "Reading," he finally muttered.  

Daniel was horrified when Sara's husband turned over the book he'd been playing with and silently scanned the title before letting out a low whistle.  

"It's fun to me." Daniel's cheeks flushed pink as he clarified.  

Ten hours, that only registered as thirty minutes on the clock, passed before Sara's husband mercifully rose from the chair to leave.   

"Nice meeting you, Daniel."  

"You too," Daniel cheerfully lied, not relaxing until the door closed after the tall figure.  Even though he could relax physically, it didn't help much mentally. 

Holding his book to his chest he sighed over the visit and the nerve-wracking questions.  Yep, no doubt about it.  He had definitely been on trial.  And he'd been found guilty.   

"Hey, Daniel." Finally. Sara was a breath of fresh air in the stale, antiseptic smelling room.  

"Did you like Jack?" She sat down in the chair her husband had recently vacated.  

"Sure, Sara, he's fine." If you like root canals and Avian flu. "Are you working today or just visiting?" If she wasn't working she had come in special, just to see him, and that was something he'd record and savor as soon as he had the chance. 

Sara smiled but didn't answer.  It was obvious she had something else on her mind. "Daniel, there's something I want to talk to you about." 

She sounded serious and his heart dropped.  She had come in right after her husband had left.  He knew what that meant and tried to distract her. 

"Do you need the money back from dinner the other day?" 

"No, of course not." Her eyes scrunched in confusion for a second before she smiled. "Jack and I were wondering if you'd like to come and stay with us for awhile." 

He ducked his head not wanting her to see his eyes.  Obviously, she hadn't talked to her husband yet.  She didn't know he had flunked the Colonel's inspection. 

Or, maybe she had said it on a whim. Out of duty, or pity.  He'd give her an easy out. "Um... you need to be certified for that." 

She looked disappointed and Daniel felt a slight jab of pain in his gut that had nothing to do with his ribs. That obviously wasn't the answer she'd been hoping to hear.  

"Jack and I are approved. I can't have any more children and we've been talking about fostering or adopting for a while now. It's up to you, Daniel, but we'd love to have you."  

Her enthusiasm was back and he didn't want to disappoint her again.  

It was a tough call. If he said yes, he was setting himself up for disappointment.  Two years in the foster care system had taught him that much.  No matter how hard he tried, he never fit in.   

He had nothing in common with her husband.  Besides that, Daniel was stubborn and headstrong and had a penchant for not listening, for doing things his own way.  Sara liked him now but she wouldn't like him nearly as much when the placement inevitably ended.  It seemed the more you knew people and the more they knew you, the less everyone got along. At least that had been his experience to date. 

That said, going back to the Home would be hard to take. The temporary group homes tended to be loud and crowded and hard to deal with. Better to face the unknown and hope for the best. Even if it only lasted a few months, he'd be ahead of the game, a few months closer to being a grown up.  To being independent and free to make his own choices. 

"Okay, let's try it," he answered softly, wondering how long it would last this time and how much it would hurt when they decided he wasn't good enough to be a part of their family. 

"Great," she said, her eyes shining. "We'll see how it goes. If you want to leave at any time let me know, okay?"   

It wouldn't last. It never did but for a while he could daydream and pretend and if he was lucky, eat a few more El Charro burritos before it all came crashing down like the giant cover stone in the New York City Museum. Life could change in the blink of an eye. One chink in the armor, one weak link and it was all over. There was nothing he could do but prepare himself, steel himself, bide his time and wait for that glorious day when he'd cross the threshold into adulthood and leave his painful childhood behind.  

Sara led Daniel upstairs to unpack and he was thrilled to discover he had his own room. He hadn't expected that. He was sure he'd be sharing a room with Charlie and that would only speed up his certain exit.  

When he hoisted up his suitcase to unpack he noted the single bed looked brand new. How lucky could he get!  

"Come on, I'll introduce you to Charlie and then we'll have some lunch. You can unpack later."  

Daniel reluctantly left the suitcase on the bed and followed Sara down the hall. This was the part he dreaded. Being the new kid was always difficult, and if foster life had taught him anything, it was that the 'real' kids never had much use for the 'new' kids.   

Charlie was sitting on his bed studying a model airplane. Daniel guessed he was most likely sitting there waiting to meet the poor orphan kid from the hospital. He was surprised when Charlie's face lit up with a smile as Sara introduced him. He could be faking the smile for his mom's benefit but Daniel could usually spot that, even if most moms couldn't.  

"I'll leave you two to talk and get acquainted."  

Even though Sara left the door open, Daniel felt trapped and uncomfortable. He was never good at meeting new kids. It never went well after the parents left and he never understood why.   

"Hi!" Charlie smiled and seemed genuinely enthused so Daniel took a deep breath and smiled back. "I'm Charlie." Charlie set the model down on the bed and offered his hand so Daniel shook it.  

"I'm sorry your mom and dad died," Charlie said solemnly.  

Daniel stayed quiet wondering if there was going to be a punch line. That type of statement was usually followed up with "but you can't have mine" or something to that effect. Charlie didn't seem to have a follow-up though and Daniel decided maybe Charlie meant it, he was sorry. The whole idea of moms and dads dying bothered him. Probably scared the heck out of him, as well it should. There was nothing scarier. Daniel should know, he was living the nightmare.  

He wasn't sure how to respond. Adults never said things that direct. Charlie seemed sincere though and maybe it was better to say it out loud and clear the air.   

"I hope you like staying with us," Charlie added in an effort to break the uncomfortable silence.  

Daniel still could only nod dumbly. This was the first new kid, and certainly the first "real" kid, who didn't hate his guts on sight. He supposed he should say something nice but he had no idea what would be appropriate.  

"Do you like airplanes?" Charlie changed the subject and filled in the silence, holding out the model plane for his scrutiny.  

"I guess." Daniel accepted the plane and looked it over. He hadn't given airplanes much thought one way or the other but it would be rude to say that.  

"That's not really an airplane," Charlie said enthusiastically. "It's a jet.  My dad's a pilot. He flies jets, well, he used to, and he flew one just like this. We built it together."  

Daniel stared at the jet and blinked back unexpected tears, envisioning Jack and Charlie hunched over the model working on it together. It reminded him of his dad sitting beside him in Egypt, his sure hand guiding his in the correct method of unearthing an artifact.    

"It's all right if you don't like models," Charlie said quickly. He took the prized jet and placed it back on the desk with the other models. "Do you like sports?" he asked with the same enthusiasm. "I play baseball, basketball and hockey. I'd play football, too, but my mom won't let me. She thinks it's too dangerous." Charlie rolled his eyes at that and waited expectantly for an answer.  

Daniel hated to be a disappointment but the reality was that he didn't play any of those sports. Growing up in Egypt hadn't exposed him to American sports and he found he had no aptitude or interest. Why would he? No one had ever taken the time to explain how the games were played, they just expected him to know.   

Daniel shook his head and waited for the real kid's attitude toward him to change.  

"How old are you?" Charlie asked, undeterred. 

"Ten," Daniel answered, wondering what that had to do with anything.  

"Cool! Little League is starting next week. You can sign up and we can play on the same team. My dad helps coach when he can. He's away a lot so he can't be the head coach."  

Charlie must really like sports.  Duh, Daniel.  One look at all the trophies in the room should have made that obvious. 

The older boy was really making an effort.  Daniel figured he should say something and sports seemed like the safest topic. 

“You play lots of sports,” he observed. 

Charlie's smile widened.  “Oh, yeah.  I'm even going to the Fantasy Sports Week Camp at the end of August!” 

Daniel had no idea what Charlie was talking about but while he debated asking, his new, temporary foster brother rushed on. 

“It's so cool!  Pro athletes from football and baseball and soccer all come together for the week, they run different clinics every day, and you get to practice with them and get pointers and everything.  I signed up two years ago but the waiting list is so long this'll be my first chance to go.”  Some of his excitement abated and he gave Daniel an apologetic look.  “I'm sorry you won't be able to come along.” 

Why did Charlie have to be so nice? Daniel was shocked to find that the 'real' kid being nice didn't make things any easier. It actually made it harder. He had always assumed nothing ever worked out because of the foster parents, or the other foster kids, or the 'real' kids. It was a jolt to realize that he himself might be part of the problem as well. He didn't like baseball and didn't want to play, he had only recently become aware that American football wasn't soccer, and he had no idea what one did in the sport of hockey. And, he had no desire to build model airplanes. A model of Tutankhamen's tomb or of the temple at Luxor might have been a different story.  

Maybe the placements weren't the problem. It hurt to admit but maybe he was the problem. He didn't belong in America. He didn't belong anywhere.  

"I'm going to go unpack," he announced to a stunned, disappointed Charlie.  

"Are you going to sign up for Little League?" Charlie asked hopefully. 

Daniel had to admire Charlie's persistence. "No," he managed on his way out the door.  He didn't need that humiliation.   

Sara was surprised at how subdued the boys were during lunch. She had been so proud of Charlie when she and Jack had explained Daniel's circumstances and the fact that they wanted to take him in. Charlie had been all for it. He was active and sociable and Sara had always felt bad that he was an only child. Despite the fact he was all boy, underneath it all, her son had a heart of gold. Just like his father. They had both been proud and Jack had told Charlie so, out loud. Sara wondered what had happened to take the wind out of her son's sails.  

The boys sat around the kitchen table eating boloney sandwiches while she chatted about what a nice spring day it was to fill in the lack of conversation. She was just about to ask if anything was wrong when Jack came bursting through the door with his usual exuberance. He had promised to try to get out of work by noon to spend time with the boys and she was grateful he had managed it. She hated when Jack had to work weekends, mainly because she knew it disappointed Charlie. Sure enough, her son lit up at the sight of his father. Sara noted that Daniel didn't look nearly as impressed.  

"Do you have to go back to work?" Charlie asked the question on her mind.  

"Not til Monday." Jack smiled and Sara marveled at how much her guys mirrored each other. Now if only they could get Daniel to smile. She had no doubt it was just a matter of time until Daniel felt comfortable enough to laugh and joke and feel accepted. For today, she'd leave that task to Jack. He was a master at coaxing smiles and laughter.    

"What do you say we get out of your mother's hair and go down to the park?" 

Daniel heard the offer with a surge of dismay.  He'd done his best to maintain a pleasant front throughout the unending afternoon but he wasn't sure he could keep it up much longer.  He hadn't missed Charlie's slipping smile when Jack included him in the invitation.  It had only lasted a second before Charlie nodded agreeably, but Daniel had seen it.  He knew when he wasn't wanted.  Pushing himself forward, especially so early in a new foster situation, was a guarantee of a quick departure. 

“Um... actually, I'm kind of tired,” he said. 

Daniel squirmed as Jack eyed him intently.  Those dark brown eyes seemed to see right through him and he had a panicky thought that the man knew he was lying. 

“Of course you are,” Sara said quickly.  “I should have thought of that.  Jack, why don't you and Charlie go?  I'll give Daniel a tour of the house and then he can unpack and settle in.” 

Daniel watched Jack and Sara exchange long looks. Jack turned to his son.  “What d'ya say, buddy?  You willing to spend a little time with your old man?” 

Charlie grinned broadly.  “Sure, Dad!  Hey, how about doing some batting practice while we're there?” 

“Good plan,” Jack nodded vigorously.  “Let's get the equipment.” 

Charlie whooped and charged up the stairs and Jack gave Sara a quick kiss.  “We'll be back in a little while.” 

“Take your time,” Sara said.  “This will give Daniel and I a chance to get better acquainted.”   

She gave him a warm smile and some of the day's tension eased.  This he could do. 

After Jack and Charlie made a noisy departure, Sara kept her word and took him on a tour of the house.  Because she had lots of stories to share about the different rooms and the various items, it took longer than Daniel expected.  He didn't care.  Being able to spend time with Sara, almost like he was her real kid, was a reward in itself. 

When they reached the foot of the stairs, Sara paused.  “Well, now you've seen almost the entire house.  I know it's not fancy but we like it.” 

“It's nice,” Daniel said.  He hoped he didn't have to offer anything more because he didn't know what else to say.  A house was a house.  This one seemed okay.   

Sara's lips twitched.  “Thank you.  I'm glad you think so.  There's just one more thing - ” 

The phone rang and Sara headed toward the kitchen to answer it.  “I'll be right back,” she called over her shoulder. 

Daniel nodded and remained where he was.  A minute later he heard her voice. “Hello? ... Hi, Dad!  What did the doctor say?” 

He shifted uncomfortably.  This sounded like a private conversation.  Maybe he should get out of hearing range, except he wasn't sure where to go.  He could go back to the family room Sara had just showed him.  There was a computer in there that she said would be available to him and Charlie, for fun, as well as for schoolwork. 

His throat tightened at the thought. He didn't want to go back in there. The first thing he had spotted when Sara had showed him the room was the wall of books.  She mentioned the books in this room were available to everyone in the house and had added, with a laugh, that they had books on practically every subject except poetry. 

Daniel was pretty sure Sara had meant the remark to be informative, but her words still sent a rush of hurt through him.  Next to ancient history and languages, poetry had been his mother's favorite subject.  He had no idea how many times he had fallen asleep at night, lulled by his mother's reading aloud of one poem or another.  Especially Tennyson, he remembered, swallowing hard.  Tennyson had been her favorite.   

Daniel hadn't opened a book of poetry since... since The Accident. 

Pain squeezed his heart.  No, he couldn't think about it.  Think about something else, he admonished himself.  Sara was still talking to her father and he didn't want to be listening, however innocently, to her conversation. 

Glancing around, he noticed a closed door half-way down the hall. He didn't know what was in there; they hadn't reached that room yet in Sara's tour. 

Daniel walked quickly down the hall and when he reached the door, he tried turning the handle.  It opened easily and he peered inside. 

It looked like an office.  Jack's office, maybe?  The walls were painted in a camel color and there was a desk of dark brown wood against the far wall.  Green curtains with a geometric design running through them were drawn across the two windows and there was a map on the opposite wall. It looked like a chart of the constellations, Daniel noted in surprise. 

There were built-in bookcases filled with books and he was tempted to take a closer look.  If this was Jack's office, he suspected he wouldn't need to worry about running across books of poetry.  As he took a step toward them, something else caught his attention.  There was a computer on the desk.  So the one in the family room wasn't the only one in the house. 

He wondered if he would be allowed to use this one.  That way he wouldn't have to worry about cutting into Charlie's computer time. If this one was hooked up to the internet... yes, he saw the line running from the computer to a telephone jack.  Was it turned on? 

Daniel moved across the room and went around the desk so he could see the monitor, then sighed in disappointment at the blank screen.  Maybe he could ask Sara... 

His rambling thoughts came to an end as he looked down at the papers spread across the desk.  There were several pages of single-spaced text but he ignored those in favor of the pictures.  Without thinking, he picked one up for a better look. 

It was!  It was the Egyptian snake code his parents had discovered and taught him to read.   

What was it doing here? 

His curiosity aroused, Daniel shuffled quickly through the other pictures until he reached the last one.  It was a picture of a blackboard with figures scrawled across it, figures which few people in the world could understand.  Daniel recognized them, thanks to his parents' teaching. 

Door to heaven?  How had they got that phrase out of - 

His breath hitched and the picture fell from his suddenly nerveless hand.  In his shuffling of the papers and photos he saw the original folder. Stamped in large red letters across the front were the words TOP SECRET. 

Daniel cast a frantic look around the room.  His earlier guess had been right.  This was Jack's office.  This must be something from the military, something he shouldn't have seen. 

With his heart pounding loudly, Daniel ran to the door and peeked out to make sure no one was in sight.  Seeing that the coast was clear, he slipped back into the hall and closed the door firmly behind him.  Wiping damp palms against his jeans, he hurried for the back door.  If anyone wanted him, they could find him outside. 
 

Chapter 3 
 

Despite enjoying his own room and the brand new comfortable bed, Daniel found he had trouble sleeping. He'd fall asleep easily enough but he wouldn't stay asleep. The dreams would wake him up. Tonight wasn't any different. Daniel stumbled out of bed and quietly tiptoed to the bathroom. As he passed Jack and Sara's door he froze at the sound of voices coming from inside, his stomach began to churn when he realized they were talking about him.  

"I did try, Sara. And so did Charlie." Jack sounded a little aggravated.   

"Well, you need to try harder.  After all, he's only been here a few days.  Even Jack O'Neill didn't rise to the rank of Colonel that quickly."  

Daniel cringed at Sara's flippant words. He hunched his shoulders, his heart racing with nervous anxiety at how Jack would respond to that. To his relief, there was no yelling or heaven forbid, hitting. After it was quiet for a few minutes Daniel crept back to bed but he couldn't get the overheard conversation out of his mind. Jack was right, he had tried and so had Charlie. He, Daniel Jackson, was the only one who hadn't tried.  

For once he couldn't blame the foster parents or the 'real' kid for his problems. He didn't fit in. He never would. He was too different. He only ever fit in one time, in one place, and that place no longer existed. The circumstances and the people could never be duplicated. Where did that leave him? Even though he was ten years old and almost grown, he began to cry, stifling the sounds in his pillow. 

His mom and dad would never again kiss him goodnight or smile at him like Jack and Sara smiled at Charlie. As much as he hated the word and had denied it for two years, it was true. He was an orphan and he would always be an orphan. Nothing could change that or make it better. Not now, not ever.  

It had been so much easier to blame the foster care system for all of his problems. If he himself was the problem how could he ever start a new life? Then again, maybe he didn't really want a new life.  

He wasn't ready to let go of the old one.  

“Here we are,” Sara said as she turned into the parking lot next to the school. 

“Thanks for the ride, Mom,” Charlie said, reaching for the door handle as the car slowed. 

“Charlie, don't you dare!” his mother snapped.  “You wait until we stop.” 

“Oh, Mom,” he groaned, “you're barely moving.” 

Sara braked and turned off the engine before looking at her son sitting beside her.  “Don't 'oh, mom' me,” she said severely, “You know the rules.”  

He sighed resignedly, “Okay, okay, I'm sorry.” 

“That's better.  Have a wonderful day, honey.” Her forbidding glare was replaced with a smile.   
 
”You, too,” he threw over his shoulder as he burst out of the car, then paused to look at Daniel who was still sitting in the back seat. “Umm...” 

“Daniel will be along later,” Sara said. 

“Okay,” Charlie nodded, then gave Daniel a wave before pulling his backpack over his shoulder and racing toward the hordes of kids congregating in front of the school. 

Daniel didn't return the wave.  He was too busy trying to hide his nervousness.  A new school was often the beginning of the end for him.  

Sara was standing outside, watching him.  Sitting in the car was only prolonging the inevitable. Forcing a weak smile, he opened the door and struggled out.  

“Thanks for the ride, Sara, but you really don't have to come in with me,” he said, for what felt like the tenth time. 

Despite his nerves, her smile warmed him.  Daniel had no doubt that Sara, at least, really wanted him in the house.  For awhile anyway. Eventually, like always, it would change and then he'd be gone.  He needed to remember that so he didn't get to like her too much.  

“You're welcome, Daniel.  Ordinarily, you and Charlie will be walking to and from school but since the principal asked to meet with me today about your schedule, I thought we could all drive in together.” 

He wished he knew the right words to change her mind.  It was bad enough, starting at a new school.  To be accompanied by an adult as if he was a little kid... he was already blushing.  Worst of all, he knew why the principal wanted to see Sara.  He had been through this rigmarole before, every time he began at a new school and it never got any easier. 

Though Daniel kept his head down, he could feel the eyes on him as he walked through the laughing, chattering gauntlet of kids.  Sara walked beside him and her presence made his face burn with embarrassment. 

He didn't feel any better when they entered the building. Kids were swarming everywhere.  He might have slipped by unnoticed had he been alone.  With Sara along everyone was checking out the new kid. 

They followed the “Administration” sign with an arrow below it, pointing down another hall.  After that turn, they saw the office. 

“Here we go,” Sara said as she placed one hand lightly on his shoulder. 

Daniel stiffened.  He couldn't help himself.  He was allowing her to get too close.  It was dangerous. 

Maybe she picked up on his thought because she took away her hand, and Daniel felt a fresh wave of embarrassment.  He suspected he had hurt her feelings but didn't know how to make things better. 

Sara stopped in front of a counter, behind it, Daniel could see three women working away at their computers. 

“I'm Sara O'Neill,” she told the one nearest, “and this is Daniel Jackson.  Today is his first day and Principal Sutton wants to meet with us.” 

The woman - she had to be pretty old, Daniel thought, since she had gray in her hair - flipped through some papers on her desk. “Oh, yes, here it is.  If you could have a seat for a minute, Mr. Sutton should be right with you.” 

There was a wooden bench by the wall and Sara led him over to it. Daniel sat beside her and tried to slow his anxious breathing.  He'd been through this before and knew what to expect.  Maybe someone would listen to him this time. It wasn't likely, but he could always hope. 

Before he was ready, a tall, thin, gray-haired man emerged from the office.  “Mrs. O'Neill?  I'm the principal, John Sutton.  And this must be Daniel.” 

Daniel was tempted to refuse the man's extended hand.  He was tired of new schools and new teachers and new principals, but with Sara beside him, watching, he had to respond. He offered his own hand and tried to ignore the principal's phony smile.  

“Right this way.” After tentatively shaking hands they followed the man inside.    

This principal's office reminded Daniel of other principals' offices.  It had lots of bookcases - which were always filled with boring books - a window that let him see outside and a desk made of fake wood with lots of papers and files piled on top of it.  Some principals' offices only had one chair in front of the desk, a few had three chairs, but this principal followed the usual custom of having two. 

“Please have a seat,” he said, closing the door behind him and going around the desk to his own chair, which was, Daniel noticed, much nicer than the two visitor's chairs.   

Sara sat down and Daniel took the seat beside her. The principal was looking at him but Daniel kept his eyes lowered, staring at his hands folded in his lap. 

“Thank you for coming, Mrs. O'Neill.” 

“It's no problem,” she said graciously. 

Daniel opened his mouth but quickly shut it. Sara had planned to go over to her father's this morning, plans she had to change when the school had called to set up this meeting.  He had heard her talking to Jack afterwards and she hadn't been pleased with the change of plans. 

But if she wanted the principal to think it hadn't been any trouble, he wasn't about to challenge her. 

“Was there a problem getting Daniel's records from his previous school?” she asked. 

“No, no, not at all.”  There was a note in Sutton's voice that made Daniel look up.  Yep, just as he expected. His stomach churned. The principal was looking at him as if he was some kind of... freak. 

“We received his records and I must say they are, for lack of a better phrase, extremely impressive.”  The principal flashed a wide, artificial smile and Daniel ducked his head again. 

“Along with his records were the results of some I.Q. tests that were given nearly two years ago.” 

Daniel's throat tightened at what was sure to follow.  He braced himself, but instead, Sara's voice interrupted.  

“I thought I.Q. tests could only be given with the permission of a child's parents.” Her words were strong and sure with a surprising edge of anger in her tone.  

Sutton straightened up and Daniel felt a mean sense of pleasure at the principal's expression, as if he had been caught telling tales. 

“Actually, it was Social Services who requested the testing.  Since they have the ultimate authority for Daniel, the legal requirements were met, I assure you.” 

Sara's eyes were on him but Daniel kept his head down.  To his surprise, her hand covered his and she squeezed gently.  The warmth and support were completely unexpected and he was horrified by sudden tears. He hastily blinked them away. 

“Why am I here, Mr. Sutton?” Sara asked abruptly.   

It was the principal's turn to blink. “Mrs. O'Neill, I take it you are unaware of the results of the I.Q. testing.” 

“I'm not interested in the results,” Sara said flatly.  “I'm interested in Daniel being assigned to his classes so he can begin catching up.” 

“That's exactly why I asked you here,” Mr. Sutton returned.   

The principal sounded a little flustered and Daniel's respect for Sara went up a few more notches. 

“I'm not following you,” she said and Daniel glanced out of the corner of his eye at her.  Yes, she definitely looked irritated at the principal.  Sara was on his side and that knowledge helped settle his jumpy stomach. 

Sutton looked down at the open file on his desk.  “Mrs. O'Neill, in his prior school Daniel had been placed in the ninth grade, where he was doing superior work.  He was also taking several college-level classes through a special program.” 

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut.  Here it came. 

There was a long silence. “I don't understand,” Sara said slowly. 

“The I.Q. tests, not to mention Daniel's own achievements -” he gave Daniel a quick look and another surface smile - “such as the fact that he speaks twelve languages,