Breaker Breaker by Brionhet
Slash:  Jack and Daniel involved in a loving and committed relationship, which usually involves sex.
Rating: R.
Category: Humour.
Season/Spoilers: Season 4.  No particular spoilers.
Synopsis: A little test of freedom of speech.
Warnings: None, nada, zilch.
Length:  28Kb

Breaker Breaker by Brionhet

**click** Get the lead out, Dannyboy. **click**

**click** I take point; I choose how fast we drive. And we’re going ten over the speed limit! **click**

**click** You drive like my gramma. **click**

**click** You really think your cousin’s going to be thrilled to discover that you’ve been risking his brand new car by driving cross country at ninety miles per hour? **click**

**click** Hey! He doesn’t like it, he can pick up his own damned heap of junk! He conned me into this. **click**

**click** The hell he did! You volunteered. Then you volunteered me to caravan with you and drive you home. **click**

**click** Language, Danny! And you know you couldn’t stand a week at home without me. **click**

**click** You smug bastard. I’d make you eat those words… if they weren’t true. [laugh] **click**

**click** Oh, get a load of that beauty! **click**

**click** What? The truck? Since when do you lust after sixteen wheelers, Jack? **click**

**click** Always have. I wanted to be a trucker for two whole years of my misspent youth. Didn’t you ever yearn for a life on the open road? **click**

**click** Um... no. **click**

**click** Of course not. For a minute there, I forgot who I was talking to. [chuckle] All you ever lusted after was grubbing in some sand pit. **click**

**click** Be honest, Jack. What you really pined for was sitting way, way up there where you could look down the cleavage of any nubile young things who happened to be in the convertible in the next lane. **click**

**click**[laugh] Well, I won’t deny the attraction. I’ll remind you, however, that those little items are permanently off the menu these days. **click**

**click** Just keep that in mind. Your dance card is full. **click**

**click** [laugh] Dance card? Oh, Daniel. You really do need some updating. **click**

**click** Hmph. **click**

**click** What the hell are you listening to? **click**

**click** Itzhak Perlman. Sarasate. Carmen Fantasy. **click**

**click** Zack who? **click**

**click** Itzhak Perlman. **click**

**click** Don’t know a Zack Pearlman. **click**

**click** Itzhak, Jack. **click**

**click** You said it’s Zack. I got it. **click**

**click** Right. And what’s that I hear? **click**

**click** Tennessee Ernie Ford, of course. **click**

**click** Who? **click**

**click** How old did you say you were? **click**

**click** I don’t think this has anything to do with age, Jack. **click**

**click** There’s your truck again, Jack. It is kind of pretty. I like the red trim. **click**

**click** ... mio sogno si avverasse! Un esercito di prodi... **click**

**click** Jack? Is that...**click**

**click** e il plauso di Menfi tutti… Guess! **click**

**click** Aida? **click**

**click** Ding ding! Give the boy a lollipop! **click**

**click** Were you… ? **click**

**click** Mistico serto di… Singing along? Youbetcha. **click**

**click** Ummm… **click**

**click** Hey, I coulda been Luciano Pavarotti! If I’d been Italian. **click**

**click** Right. **click**

**click**Hey, Daniel. Keep an eye out for some place to take a quick break. **click**

**click**Good idea. I’m getting hungry, and I could use a restroom. **click**

**click**Yeah. I need to take a piss. **click**

**click**Ah… Can you say that over the radio? **click**

**click**You heard anybody else on this frequency? I can say anything I damned well want. **click**

**click**Oh. Okay. Truck stop ahead. There’s your red truck pulling out. **click**

**click** Oh, yeah. Thing of beauty!” **click**

**click** I don’t know how you can eat that crap. **click**

**click** I like chocolate! **click**

**click** [laughter] Understatement, Daniel. How you can scarf that stuff and still have the complexion you have is one of the great mysteries of mankind. **click**

**click** Some experts think the assumption that eating chocolate is bad for the skin is just that—an assumption. **click**

**click** Yeah, yeah. You hope. And first sign you give that you’re in the mood to go scientist on me, I’m coming up there and taking away your headset. Hey, there’s my truck again. How’d he get behind us? **click**

**click** Hmph. Thought you said you could say anything you want. **click**

**click**[evil chuckle] Ah, but that’s just me. **click**

**click** [sputter] **click**

**click** Like... I could say… I really get off on the way you writhe when I suck on your... **click**

**click** Jack! **click**

**click** ...nipples. **click**

**click** Uh... **click**

**click** You don’t writhe when I suck on that. You sort of howl. **click**

**click** Jack! **click**

**click** And there’s this little spot just behind your right ear… If I lick and blow, you whimper like a baby. Every time. **click**

**click**Ah... ah... J... Jack! Behave yourself! **click**

**click** What? Nice, private little conversation with my favorite archaeologist. Just making small talk. **click**

**click** Small talk! **click**

**click** Yup. Though, come to think of it, there’s nothing very small about it. Not once I give it a bit of encouragement. **click**

**click** Urk. **click**

**click** Daniel! You keep your eyes on the road, you naughty boy. Did you sneak something into that coffee when I was looking the other way? Just keep that pretty red truck centered in your rear view mirror, OK? **click**

**click** You... you... Toes! **click**

**click** Ummm. Toes? Related to just what? **click**

**click** You. Toes. That’s what I like to suck. Right after you get out of the shower. **click**

**click** Hmmm. Come to think of it, you do have a bit of a fetish, don’t you. **click**

**click** Makes your little colonel salute faster than anything else. **click**

**click** Errr... **click**

**click** One at a time. With lots of licking. **click**

**click** Daniel. Are your eyes on that road? **click**

**click** Then I like to lick your knees—especially the soft skin at the back. You wriggle. **click**

**click** I do not ‘wriggle’! **click**

**click** Oh yes you do. And chew on the pillow. **click**

**click** Do not! **click**

**click** Do too. **click**

**click** I do not chew on the pillow! **click**

**click** How do you think it gets all wrinkled and soggy? **click**

**click** [sputter] **click**

**click** [snicker] **click**

**click** Y... I... Well, what about you? **click**

**click** ... Me? **click**

**click** You like me to take you long and slow. Every time I hit that happy spot... **click**

**click** Uh... Jack? **click**

**click** Um, Daniel... Y’know, maybe we should stop for the night. Keep your eyes open for a nice sand dune—I can drag your naked body down behind it and find a nice warm place to keep my cock for the night. **click**

**click** You boys lookin’ for a place to nest, I’ve got me a nice stretch cab, great mattress. Only price will be a ring-side seat. **click**

**click** ... ... **click**

**click** ... ... **click**

**click** ...jack?... **click**

**click** ... ah… um...Ma’am? **click**

**click** Lookin’ down your tail, sweet cheeks. Offer’s open. **click**

**click** Well… ah… that’s very kind of you…**click**

**click** Jack! **click**

**click** But Danny, well, he’s a bit bashful. With women. **click**

**click** Jack! **click**

**click** Too bad. [chuckle] Keep me in mind when you get him a bit less shy, okay? **click**

**click** ...jack?... **click**

**click** Hotel, Danny. Find a hotel. Right now. **click**

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Daniel Jackson was written out of Stargate: Click here to help get him reinstated
Brionhet, 2001.
Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. These stories are for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. These stories may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. Copyright on images remains with the above named rightsholders.
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