glaring at tall, dead and gorgeous. The high-flying bastard may be
breathing and walking around but he's dead just the same. It's only a
matter of time.
waited years for this, for the time to be right. For Daniel to be free.
To know his feelings for me aren't about dependence. To know he's
crossed the line from friendship to love. I'm ready to coax him that
bit further, from love...to being IN love.
double-damned if I'm going to let all that soul-burning patience and
uncharacteristic selflessness go to SHIT because Lt Colonel Alex...as
in "Just call me Alex, Daniel."...Devoe is planning to seduce my dear
and only love right out from under me.
position he's only been in figuratively of course, no matter how
insistent Mr Happy gets to the contrary.
Devoe gets to enjoy the fruits of my labours over his dead body. He
doesn't get to have Danny just because he can give Danny the ONLY thing
I can't. An interested and informed audience.
watching my Danny blossom like a rose under all this gentle, perfectly
judged attention and eloquence. Sweet innocent that he is, it hasn't
crossed his mind Just Call Me Alex is way more interested in his body
than his mind. And he's plenty interested in that, too.
thinks I like the occasional bracing cold shower, never connecting it
with his occasional presence right there in the showers next to me.
Which kind of sums up exactly why he needs somebody like me to be his
best bud. It's to protect him from people like me. People like Devoe.
thing burning me up inside is...Daniel is straight. I know it, and
Devoe sure as hell knows it, 'cause he ain't. He might not be looking
for a picket fence and 2.4 dogs, but the acid in my gut tells me he
isn't looking for an easy lay either. Daniel's not easy. Quite the
opposite. He's a difficult, sweet, complex, brilliant, clueless,
wilful, shy, stubborn-as-all-hell little S.O.B with a heart of gold and
an incandescent soul.
love him to death.
knows it, too. Took him about a nanosecond in the gateroom to read us,
clue into the whole damn thing, write me off as a bad joke and WANT
Danny. All for himself. I won't pretend even to myself this guy isn't
SERIOUS competition. I've seen his file: his record and his rank, for
his age, speak for themselves. He's another one of those way smarter
than me, know it all new breeds, got a masters in medieval literature
of all things. Smart AND sensitive, as well as...hell, he looks kinda
like that new doc in ER. The one from Transylvania or wherever. He put
the moves on Danny from word one, spinning a web around my boy so
subtly only I could see it.
than a week later, he knows what I mean to Danny. Devoe hates me. I
hate him more.
can't kill Devoe just for offering to drive Danny home, even though any
court in the land would take one good look at the beauty and innocence
personified that is Danny and acquit instantly on the grounds of
want to, God, how I WANT to kill him, but I can't. So I'll have to take
Danny out of the equation instead. This is a desperate situation. It
calls for extreme measures.
can go for some food if you like? Yeah. Right. Like you haven't already
made reservations some place with candles and violins, you bastard.
say brightly, "Sounds good to me. We can take in a steak at O'Malley's."
lights up. Bless him, he thinks his best friend and his new friend are
gettin' along like a house on fire.
better call 911.
it looks like I'm not the only one entertaining malice aforethought.
Devoe gives me a long, steady, not to say homicidal, stare. It tells
me, you had your chance and you blew it, old man. Get outta my way or
I'm coming through you.
back atcha. I'm still the Alpha Male of this particular tribe, so bring
it on. Devoe isn't cocky, just convinced he can sweep me aside and put
me out with the trash. Which makes my inevitable victory all the
I have to do is hang in there through a steak dinner without crushing
Danny's hopes me and you know who can get along. As he's clearly got
his heart set on it and I hate to disappoint him unnecessarily. Let him
hang onto a sweet, impossible dream for a while longer. At least until
I've seen off the master of the universe.
I just have to get Danny out of O'Malley's and into the Explorer with
take him home. I'll look pathetic and say I need to talk and he'll blow
off you know who in a heartbeat. It's sorta true. Mr Happy does have a
lot to say, stuff that's been bottled up inside for way too long. My
heterosexuality being a mere technicality and all.
weather is going to get nasty. Very nasty. All I'll have to do is
fumble with the keys long enough to get us both soaked to the skin. Of
course, we can't sit around in wet clothes.
my house, so I get the only clean sweats. Danny can take his pick.
Skin. Which would suit us both perfectly. Or the jammies my mother
bought me. Why she bought them is one of those immutable mysteries of
life, right up there with why toast always crash lands butter side
down. The jammies are navy blue and soft and fluffy. If there is ANY
friggin' justice in the universe, with any luck they'll fall right off
tell them smoothly, "I just have to make a call. Meet you topside in
rush out of Danny's office and race to mine. Just enough time to stop
the guys rewiring my kitchen from reconnecting me to the mains. A quick
call takes care of it, along with another few hundred bucks on my tab.
Worth every cent.
Jammies. A warm fire. Candlelight.
like a plan.
going to make a man of him.
not going to risk being late topside, because something tells me Devoe
will distract Daniel with talk of Beowulf or some such, lure him into
his car and take off without a backward glance.
head off to the gear-up room and change, checking out my reflection
anxiously. This morning I was embarrassed because my Laundry Situation
had reached such epidemic proportions my only clean shirt had to be
hidden under a sweater. Even I haven't got the balls to walk into the
SGC at 04.30 wearing a cream silk shirt under a leather jacket. The
gossip would hit the commissary before I hit the gear-up room.
I feel kinda smug I've hit the bottom of the laundry basket. I think
I'll do. Black chinos, cream silk shirt, black leather jacket. Not
exactly sex on a stick like you know who, the SOB has pecs you could
ski down, but I do look classy. If I do say so myself.
give myself a little nod of approval and haul ass to the elevator. I'm
trying not to think if Danny has never found me attractive before, a
years' old silk shirt is not going to give him any kind of epiphany now.
doesn't think about himself often enough to care about clothes. He
started our acquaintance in a duffle coat, and those checked shirts
just get worse.and worse. I cringe every time I see him in civvies.
He's getting to own some nice meet 'n' greet the galaxy come funeral
suits, but his casual clothes leave everything to be desired.
would love to take him shopping and kit him out as he deserves but it's
impossible. I haven't come up with a single plausible reason for
Colonel O'Neill to tenderly escort Dr. Jackson on a tour around the
finer clothing establishments in Colorado Springs. And believe me, I've
tried. I've been a perfect gentleman where Danny's concerned, but I'm
only human. Those dressing rooms are communal. Why wait outside when I
could advise and offer a little hands on assistance inside?
leave security in my slipstream and then I'm in the lot, heading for
the Explorer. I spot Devoe right next to it, leaning against a sports
car. It's a Ferrari, a classic model, classic colour, Racing Green. A
250 GTE from the early 60s, I think. Devoe has good taste in cars as
well as perfect taste in men. I hate him just that bit more. Next to
the Ferrari, the Explorer looks pedestrian and lumbering. Kinda like
its one careful owner.
looks good in black, too. He's got one of those perfect swimmer
physiques, displayed to best advantage in skin tight black jeans and
T-shirt. He's only a couple of years older than Daniel and Christ but
it shows. My heart is sinking.
almost climbs out of my throat when a familiar, breathless voice
apologises in a rush for being late and I turn to see Danny for the
jaw drops. As does Colonel Perfection's. Danny's been shopping all by
himself, it would seem.
wearing these dark olive combat pants and a sleeveless jacket, some
kinda smooth, sheened material. They look great, but it's the sweater
that's doing it for me 'n' you know who. It's a dove grey, ribbed
turtleneck. Against that soft grey, Danny's wondrous blue eyes are
simply devastating. Neither of us can tear our eyes from his beautiful
face. He's stunning. He's also the only one here who doesn't know it.
I get in tomorrow I'm gonna check the security tapes. I bet he turned
every head on the base.
completes our enslavement by the simple expedient of removing his
glasses and smiling. He's happy, he's smiling, he's utterly ravishing.
I think my tongue is hanging out. I think I'm not alone in that.
fiddles with the arm of his glasses and mutters distractedly, "I think
I've got a screw loose."
so besotted I just let that go by me without a word.
becomes aware of the silence and glances up, nose adorably scrunched up
in confusion. He looks from me to Devoe and back again. Then his face
clears and he mutters shyly, "Sam. I told her I needed new stuff and
she INSISTED on coming with me. My wardrobe is now full of weird things
like this but she said I'd hurt her feelings if I didn't wear it,
so..." A little shrug tells us he's stuck with it even if he looks
call down blessings on my 2IC's head, then tell him in a thankfully
almost normal, squeak free voice, "K-Mart does a duffle coat, would go
nice with that."
an old joke that makes him grin, lighting his eyes up. His eyes are, in
point of fact, pellucid. That's a word I had to look up in Webster's
after I heard it in the hall one day, after Danny trailed by with his
nose buried in a book. From the marines. Pellucid is exactly the right
superlative for Daniel's eyes. The blue does glow with a gentle
radiance. Especially against this sweater. Devoe is clearly weak-kneed
from a solid dose of the eyes but doesn't get the joke so that's one
for our side.
neither of us makes a move, Danny looks a little puzzled. He shoots us
both a glance saying he's explained away Fashion Accessorised Daniel,
so why are we waiting, guys?
your gaze a foot or so Danny, you'll see just why. In glorious
waits a beat but we ain't budging so long as he's looking at us like
that. He ventures another shy smile, "Anyone up for Italian instead of
the Danny-induced testosterone levels, if he expressed a preference for
cucumber sandwiches and Earl Grey tea, he'd get them. With the crusts
trimmed off, sprigs of parsley on top and a bone china cup 'n' saucer.
can see from the smirk on Devoe's face he HAD made reservations. They
had always been going Italian. Hope you booked a big enough table,
asshole. There's three of us on this date and YOU'RE the fifth wheel.
is headed automatically to the passenger side of the Explorer when
Devoe shows why he's a high flyer, and a devious bastard to boot, as he
says in an oh-so-casual voice, "So, Daniel, you ever get an opportunity
to handle the illuminated manuscripts in the British Museum?"
freezes and turns back, "Handle? No. I've admired them, of course. It's
a priceless collection. Are you saying you've had the privilege?"
can see he's hooked, he's walking back over to the Ferrari wanting to
hear all about it. Devoe has this look of fatuous pleasure I want to
smack right off his face as he opens the door and settles Danny in.
Devoe tells me grudgingly, "Leonardo's."
last thing I hear from Danny before the door slams shut on the driver's
side is something about the Magna Carta.
left forlorn as they merrily drive away in full literary flow. Devoe
just had to be a museum junkie, didn't he? I'm forced to declare a
draw. One for his side.
Did I mention I hate him?
find myself in the unusual position of being the absolute centre of
attention. Jack and Alex are watching every single move I make. They
have both been watching me intently since I joined them in the parking
lot at Cheyenne Mountain.
well known for my supposedly intuitive logic and lateral thinking, but
I don't have to be a Daniel Jackson to figure out I'm on a date.
Because I am Daniel Jackson, however, it's just, well, it's just I have
difficulty believing it. That I'm on a date.
Jack AND Alex.
DATE. A double date! Okay, okay, Jackson. Hysteria is setting in. Think
about this calmly.
one. This is a VERY nice Italian restaurant. Expensive, exclusive, hip
enough not to mind our casual clothes, you come and go as you please
between bar and table. An intimate corner table in our case.
Candlelight. Red roses everywhere. Romantic music.
we had a reservation. I'm on a date with Alex, was pretty much always
going to be going on a date with him. Would've been nice of him to clue
two. Jack is wearing that splendid black leather jacket of his with a
lovely cream silk shirt, teamed with an attitude towards Alex that
could start a small war. I've never seen Jack in silk before. Or this
possessive before. It's an eye opener. I've always thought Jack was
handsome, in an abstract sort of way. I don't have a picture of him in
my locker or anything, but I've, well, I've noticed him. From time to
time. Usually when he's been in his dress blues. He's authoritative.
Distinguished. Charismatic. Roguish, charming, then soulful by turns.
In his dress blues he's...well, in the interests of accuracy, I'd have
to say absolutely the correct description is...not to put too fine a
point on it...I'll own up. He's drop-dead gorgeous. The way Jack looks
in that uniform has a lot to do with me upgrading my own formal wear.
The sartorial contrast was just too painful. Jack is the most alive
person I've ever known, and in leather and silk he is positively
exuding sex appeal and invitation to sweet sin. There 's a certain
directional component to the invitation. Toward me.
I'm on a date with Jack. In point of fact, it's possible I may have
been dating Jack for some years. I'm Jack's Friday Night Boy. I may
have to KILL him for not clueing me in.
three: Alex has known me less than a week and yet here we are on a
real, live date. Alex has done this before so I am fairly confident he
knows I have not. He would have mentioned this was a date otherwise.
Alex has designs on my virginity.
four: Jack has known me for over four years and yet here we are on a
real, live date. I'm presuming Jack has never done this before, and I
know he knows I have not. We appear to have been going steady for over
three years and my virgo is still very much intacto.
Jack has allowed me to preserve my virginity because he has designs on
my heart and soul.
am profoundly grateful Jack never asked me to choose between him and
the love I still felt for Sha'uri long after all hope was gone. He's
never allowed his feelings for me to interfere with our ever-deepening
friendship. A friendship I still believe is important to him, he
wouldn't have worked so hard at it otherwise. Or been so reluctant to
risk it. Even so, I may have to kill my best friend for being so damn
am no longer surprised at the mood he has been in these past few
months. I don't know how long Jack has been in love with me, or how
long he has wanted me, but he's close to meltdown now from sheer
realise I am making a rather large assumption here, that Jack does, in
fact, desire me. Like any good scientist I require a little empirical
evidence before my theory becomes a proof. So I'm ordering asparagus
while my two swains are still at the bar. Neither of them appeared
willing to leave me alone with the other so they reached an impasse and
be fair, I am hungry and I think I'm going to need all my strength for
when Jack gets me home. I have no doubt whatsoever that he has three
million ideas for getting me out of here with him, up to and including
throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me out bodily.
quite new to all this, so while I'm still not sure what I feel about it
all, let alone what I want, I have to admit the idea has a certain
appeal. The appeal grows significantly when Jack returns with the
drinks. I asked for red wine and I've got.cranberry juice?
can feel the heat blooming in my cheeks. Incredible though it may seem,
Jack is bound and determined to get me home and ravish me. I spell it
out to myself, just in case I'm still not getting it. Jack wants to
have sex with me. S-E-X. More accurately, he wants me to have sex with
him, which is why I guess I'll be teetotaling for the whole of the
evening. If I drink at all, he won't lay a finger on me. He has an
innate sense of honour and a profound, if occasionally eccentric, need
to do the right thing. He would kill anybody who got me drunk to get me
into bed and he would die before he did it himself. He'd never stoop
feeling ridiculously shy, hoping desperately it doesn't show as I say
sarcastically, "At least you got the colour right, Jack. I'll write it
down for you next time, shall I? You can get one of the grown-ups at
the bar to read it out for you."
sniggers and I feel a little sorry for him. He heard the put-down, but
he doesn't see some of the tension easing from Jack's shoulders or the
sudden softness in his eyes as he cuffs me gently round the head. Both
Jack and I have standards to maintain, but that was me, letting him
know I'm still here, still with him.
realise I have made my decision, and it is an irrevocable one. If Jack
wants me, he shall have me. He loves me, more than I deserve, to take
such care for me. If he's going to put himself through all of this for
my sake, he's going to need some moral support. It can't be easy being
in love with a man as clueless as myself.
have an apology to make to Jack. I pride myself on thinking outside the
box. I've failed miserably to do so in respect of my own feelings. I
LOVE Jack. I've loved him for a long time now. As a friend, I naively
thought. It's true enough, but it's so very far from being the whole
truth. I realise now I've also been attracted to him.
a simple enough equation. Jack + dress blues = Daniel weak kneed and
drooling. See? I can do the math so easily when the obvious solution is
sitting here next to me, devilishly handsome in leather and silk. I'm
glad I 'm sitting down. I don't think my knees can take much more
Jackson. Let's try to extrapolate a little further. Work this one out
for yourself. Love + physical attraction = Daniel is in love with Jack.
in love with Jack. Hello? I'm just working this out now? How sad is
that? Maybe Jack should kill ME.
in love with a man who knows me better than anyone has ever known me in
my life, yet here he is, after all we've been though, apparently in
love with me too. When has that ever happened to me? When have I ever
been this lucky? Never. Not ever.
terrified and exhilarated all at the same time. I can hardly believe
this is happening to ME. Me of all people. Please, oh, please, don't
let me mess this up. Don't let me be reading this wrong. Let me have
Jack. For once in my life, let me get what I want and let me KEEP it.
I'm not greedy. Just this one time. Just Jack.
ready to throw caution to the winds figuratively, and myself at Jack
literally, when I have a brilliant inspiration. Jack feels threatened
by Alex. It's classic Alpha Male versus Young Buck for the right
to.er.the right to mate. Jack has everything to lose here. Every
instinct I have is telling me not to prematurely capitulate.
not having MY colonel suffering from insecurities, wondering if I'm
settling for second best just because we have history. Also, there is
that slight vulnerability about the age gap. Jack shed about 10 years
in as many seconds when I didn't make a fuss about the wine come
cranberry juice. Plus, a suffering Jack is a sharing Jack. He likes to
spread the load. In his own unique way. I recall a few colourfully
apocalyptic confrontations over the past few months. My, how he spreads
going to Cor-Ai Jack. He can go through the trial but the verdict is a
foregone conclusion. I'm all the judge he requires. If he needs to be
all hunter-gatherer and primal on me, if he needs to beat Alex to win
me, I shall let him. For his own sake. I...I love him too. He's...Jack.
don't feel sorry for Alex. He's been nice to me and I'd hate to think
it was all just an act to get me into bed. He's well read and
interesting. I' d like to go on being friends if it doesn't hurt Jack.
If it does...adios Alex. I wouldn't miss him. He just doesn't have an
emotional investment in me nor I in him.
good, my asparagus is arriving. There is an art to eating asparagus
neatly, but given I am on a date with two men at the same time, and
therefore a slut of no uncommon order, I'm going all out for graphic
mesmerised. Danny is going down on his asparagus. Really. There's no
other way to describe the toe-curling eroticism of it. His tongue
flicks out and swipes the butter-weeping tip, swirls around it, then
he's gently nibbling up the shaft. A bite, a little murmur of pleasure,
then he's curling his tongue, suckling the dripping shaft back into his
mouth and we go through the whole languid torment again. And again.
will not be leaping up to get the next round of drinks in. Or the round
after that. Danny is generating so much heat I may spontaneously
combust. Devoe doesn't look in much better shape.
is innocence personified, smiling sweetly at both of us as he savours
the very last mouthful. I don't think.at least I hope.I'm not imagining
the extra warmth in his eyes whenever they meet mine.
has been desultory, mostly because we've all been fully occupied with
the asparagus. It was exciting while it lasted but I'm glad the ordeal
is over. The most excitable part of me needs some time to calm down
otherwise I'm gonna have to get tough and apply an ice pack or
something. I need the breathing space.
will no doubt have a nice vegetarian lasagne. It's something I often
make him when he looks up at me with those pleading 'feed me, Jack'
eyes. I can cook. Danny can't. He's always disappointed if I order
take-out on Friday's. I love to feed him. He can live on caffeine for
days, but once you sit him down he can really pack the food away.
is pretty good here. I like the free and easy atmosphere. We'll come
here again, just the two of us. Once Danny is officially mine and I'm
allowed to show him off. Quite a few people in the restaurant have been
sneaking envious peeks at us. Well, mostly at Danny and Devoe. They
look spectacular together. I'm guessing the other guests...the
disapproving ones...are guessing the relationship at this table is a
tad sophisticated for Colorado Springs. A part of me is flattered by
the assumption I could have either Daniel or Devoe, let alone both of
allow an easy, self-confident smile to spread across my face. Keep 'em
guessing. Keep Devoe guessing too. I've got too much life experience,
let alone combat experience, to allow him to rattle me. I can play nice
as long as I have to.
do have to. Daniel is looking...demure, I guess. Like he's got some
sweet little secret he's not letting the rest of the world in on. He's
impossible to resist. I find myself wanting to make dinner as pleasant
as possible, for his sake. I still want to disembowel Devoe, of course,
but I guess I'll give getting along the old college try.
didn't make colonel without learning a thing or three about tactics.
There's a large part of my psyche that always works the angles. Too
large a part for me to just switch off when it's inconvenient. Like
now. I automatically took the seat giving good line of sight on the
entrance to the north, and on the west facing windows. Devoe took the
seat giving him good line of sight on the east facing windows and on
the other point of vulnerability, the kitchen. Danny is safely
sandwiched between us with his back to the wall. We're between him and
any potential danger. He has no idea about that. He picked his seat
because he's an inveterate people watcher who gets a lot of innocent,
vicarious enjoyment out of the vagaries of mankind. Plus it would be
just plain rude to sit with his back to people. I know Daniel well.
embarrassingly calculating part of me is pointedly telling the primal
Alpha Male part of me that an upset Danny is NOT a sharing Danny. If I
ruin his nice dinner he may very likely ruin my night. Our night. I
take the path of least resistance and go for a feint. A show of
weakness to deceive my enemy. I might not make it, and if Devoe doesn't
stop licking his lips every single fucking time he looks at Danny I
WON'T make it, but I am gonna try to be nice to Devoe if it kills him.
the better man is to win, it will be all to the good for Danny to SEE
me being the better man.
main course arrives. I'm having my steak, but now it's a steak
smothered in red wine and tomatoes. I like good food too, that's why I
learned to cook as well as I do. The lasagne arrives but it's the
carnivore version and it's for Devoe. Daniel has ordered...
Danny! The part of me just beginning to calm down is now thoroughly
over-excited again, beyond the help of even a vigorously applied ice
all the times for Daniel to branch out into seafood!
oysters have arrived. I wonder if Jack is picking up on the trend here?
asparagus yielded excellent results. From both of them, unfortunately.
I'm very glad Jack is here. It's not like Alex is making me nervous or
anything. Not like that all. It's just I'm finding my new role as a sex
object a little trying when the men doing the objectification are
making it so damn obvious. I'm adrift on a sea of testosterone.
class shines through here as in so many other ways. He's gallantly
trying to find common ground with Alex while every instinct he has is
probably screaming 'do it, O'Neill, they'll never find the body'. He's
started on a round of humorous Air Force billet from hell stories.
proud of Jack, proud to be his friend when he's being as generous as
catch his eye and smile again, as warmly as I can, before I investigate
my seafood. It looks and is spectacular, a medley of intense colours,
scents, tastes and textures. The sauce is a subtle backdrop, dry white
wine and fresh cream, garlic roughly chopped to keep its sweetness. And
of course, the oysters. They've been steamed and shucked, then set back
into the polished half shell for effect. My sense of smell isn't always
the greatest, but the brine and parmesan scent is making my mouth water.
pick up one of the polished half shells and lift it to my lips. I'm
VERY conscious of my audience. If the damn thing skids straight down my
chin it will serve me right. I'm not known for my exquisite grace and
co-ordination to begin with, but without my glasses this must surely be
tempting fate. As I tilt the shell, I pray to any god who might be
listening and willing to put in the fix for an archaeologist not noted
for his seductive powers. Miraculously, the oyster slips sweetly down
thanks to the olive oil it's nestling in. Someone must have been
swipe my lip with my tongue just in case and look up hopefully at Jack,
justifiably proud of my accomplishment. He looks dazed, his cheeks
flushed, eyes glittering with...er...with...can't really argue the
point...with desire. I sneak a peek up through my lashes across at
Alex. Ah. I'm getting it in stereo.
can feel the heat bloom in my cheeks again, simply can't look down
quickly enough at the utterly fascinating food on my plate. I've
extrapolated from my own admittedly brief foray into the arena of
allurement and come to a conclusion about scarlet women. I think they
are so called not because they have fallen from the ways of the
righteous, but because they blush so damn much.
pathetically glad the candlelight is sparing the worst of my blushes. I
don't want Jack to have any excuse to be a gentleman when we get home.
He's been protecting me from his needs for so long I think it's become
entrenched. If he sees just how nervous I am about the physical stuff
he'll...I won't have him thinking I'm some vulnerable KID who doesn't
know what he wants. I won't let that happen. I don't want him treating
me like I'll break.
I'm honest, I'm strongly drawn to driving my colonel so crazy there's
no doubt in his mind he is MY colonel. Oh, and while he's in the mood,
I'm secure enough in my masculinity the prospect of him throwing me
over his shoulder and carrying me off to bed to have his wicked way
with me is just what this Doctor ordered. I don't think I spent nearly
enough time playing when I was a boy. Jack's masculinity is carved in
tablets of stone. He has nothing whatsoever to prove, so something
tells me he would find the idea of me wanting playtime now very
appealing. So long as I want to play with him.
I tackle another oyster, hoping it goes down as smoothly as the first,
I peek up and meet Jack's warm, wicked eyes. I'm very reassured by what
I see. I think I'm getting the hang of this.
don't know what it is Daniel sees when he happens to be in front of a
mirror but I'd cheerfully bet every dime of my paycheck it's not what
the rest of us see. He's totally oblivious to his own beauty, to the
impact it has on other people. He also has a genuine, passionate
interest in people, a way of focusing his attention on you so
completely it makes you feel like you're the only person in the world.
When you speak to him, Daniel listens. He never just waits for you to
shut up so he can talk again. When he does talk, he says what he means
and he means what he says. He's oblivious to just how rare that is too.
It's a potent, charming and totally innocent combination that's won him
many admirers and a whole raft of protectors.
smiling at the sight of him, all lit up and flushed with his triumph.
He's thrilled to bits because he's managing to eat his oysters instead
of wearing them. Is it any wonder I'm crazy about him?
hasn't the least idea in the world he's a flirt. A shocking flirt at
times. He's melted hearts of stone all around the galaxy. Mine being
right at the top of the list. I will never forget our run in with the
bounty hunter, Aris Boch. I swear to God, Daniel batted his eyes right
at the SOB as he said we were sorry and was the deal still on the
table? Boch had a wall to wall grin and he actually laughed before good
sense prevailed and he gave us the 'how can I trust you now', routine.
melting Devoe's heart right now. Devoe picked up immediately on several
years of personal history played out in as many seconds in that little
exchange of looks between Danny and me. He sighs. I guess he's clueing
in he won't come between us as friends. My heart bleeds.
drags his eyes from Daniel's beaming face and turns to me. For the
first time I see understanding, and maybe a tinge of respect. He's
clueing in on just how vulnerable Daniel can be, on just how many
insidious little insecurities he carries around with him. He's finally
starting to realise maybe my restraint with Daniel has nothing to do
with me, and everything to do with Daniel.
realise that doesn't change a thing between me and the sonovabitch.
Constant exposure to Daniel's winning ways only makes you want to win
him more. The more Devoe sees of Daniel, the better he likes what he
sees, the more he WANTS what he sees.
yours, Devoe! Get your own. You want an archaeologist, you've got a
whole team to play with. 'Course, no one on SG-11 looks ANYTHING like
my Danny, but that's your look out. Doctor Jackson is spoken for.
of the things I've learned about my Danny is he's a purist. No
imitations accepted. That thought cheers me up and I can't help the
smirk I direct at Devoe. I'M still the original and best.
Danny looks at the world and sees with different eyes from all the rest
of us. He judges our world not against what it is now, but what it will
tell some archaeologist a couple thousand years from now. He's not
impressed. You don't know what suffering is until you've tried,
unavailingly, for the fifteenth time, to tune out Dr Jackson's lecture
on the impact of US pop culture on global ethnology, with particular
reference to Coca Cola and the Happy Meal. And you should never get him
started on faux Tudor architecture for the suburban home. Not if you
want to live. Sometimes even watching the History Channel with Daniel
can be like wandering innocently into oncoming traffic.
the up side, if I'm prepared to sacrifice my hockey game, an indignant
Daniel is also an adorably entertaining and irresistibly cute Daniel.
He finds it almost impossible to get angry, at least with people
anyhow, but he does indignation very well. With the application of
sufficient provocation, he actually bounces. I found that out on a
mission a couple of years back. I like the cute little bouncy thing and
I'm GOOD at provocation. I can see it in the comfort of my own home
whenever I please.
have nothing whatsoever to contribute to the ongoing, mind numbing
discussion of the glories of the Lindisfarne Gospels, their role in the
pantheon of illuminated manuscripts or Anglo Saxon linguistics. The
only reason I'm tolerating it is Daniel is basically my date, and
therefore entitled to all the slack I can cut him for the duration.
I'll make him pay for it later.
figure it's about time Devoe learns the downside to having the hots for
a genius. I'm passionately in love with said genius and he drives me
nuts most days. Life with Daniel will never be boring, I can say that
with certainty. He has a lot of enthusiasm and he loves to share with
anyone who will listen.
time to push a few Daniel buttons and see just how far and how fast he
can tow Devoe out of his depth. I don't even pretend to be an
intellectual but on my worst day I'm still a pretty decent tactician. I
ask Devoe his opinion of Wallis Budge. I'm pretty sure he won't know
much more than I do, but he'll try to bluff his way through anyhow.
an evil bastard when I set my mind to it. Years with Daniel have taught
me to respond instantaneously to any mention of Budge with the
variation of my choice on the basic theme 'that clueless bastard, don't
know why they keep reprinting him'. Always sends Daniel away happy. Of
course, to the uninitiated bluffer, Wallis Budge is THE authority on
Egyptian hieroglyphs. I settle back and happily await the inevitable
I have to dive forward and smack Daniel smartly on the back as
astonished affront makes him inhale a prawn.
resulting anti Budge diatribe, once Daniel has his breath back, is
protracted and terrifyingly erudite. Daniel can be appallingly fluent.
I'm sorely tempted to laugh, but Daniel would probably be hurt, while
Devoe would probably want to take this outside. I decide discretion is
the better part of humour and blithely eat my delicious steak, making
encouraging 'what he said' noises to Daniel's occasional appeals to me
is also making emphatic use of the cutlery to illustrate various key
points in his thesis. I do laugh as a slightly too emphatic stab of his
fork sends a scallop flying in a perfect arc across the table into the
floral arrangement. His confusion is completed as a smiling waiter
steps up and promptly removes the offending scallop with a flourish,
carrying it away on his tray. After a short, bewildered silence, Daniel
scowls at me as if it's my fault. Devoe, frankly, is grateful for the
distraction. Daniel's had him on the ropes for the last five minutes or
scowl at Daniel as he apologises for getting a tad carried away. To
Devoe. He smiles sweetly. At Devoe. Devoe smiles right back at him.
still scowling when the smiling waiter comes back to remove the
detritus of the main course. Daniel waves away the dessert menu
somewhat regretfully. I guess he's not ready to risk ice cream so soon
after aerial seafood.
scowl even more when I realise the waiter is also regretful. He only
cheers up when Daniel allows himself to be persuaded to peruse the
coffee menu. I can see the place has gone up several notches in
Daniel's estimation. Caffeine is his main food group. He beams at the
waiter and the waiter beams right back. Devoe and me are now wearing
identical scowls. Does everyone with a pulse want my archaeologist?
Asked and answered, I guess.
need to visit the men's room and Devoe reads my body language and
follows me. He's right. I'm just in the mood to haul him out of his
seat by the scruff of the neck rather than leave him alone with Daniel.
We're going down to the wire and I'm still only 90% certain Daniel is
coming home with me, Budge or no Budge.
walk far enough apart to make it crystal clear to the rest of the
patrons although we may be headed towards the same destination, we are
not going there together. And certainly not for the nefarious purpose
Daniel's little asparagus display earlier might have led them to
we get back, Daniel is sitting with an assortment of coffee cups. He's
gloating over one of those tiny kick ass espressos so thick the cup is
probably optional. Mine is in a tall glass. I guess he ordered me Irish
coffee. It's already starting to cool so I take a big gulp and it's
nearly all she wrote for Mama O'Neill's boy. It burns a trail straight
light of Daniel's wide eyed concern I manage to wheeze out, "A little
heavy on the Irish."
much whiskey did they put in this thing? The first mouthful is enough
to put me way over the limit.an evil grin gets away from me as I join
the dots and instantly make an appeal to Daniel's responsible, law
mind driving me home, Daniel? What with the beers I've already had."
says immediately, "Sure. I'm glad you asked. It's not worth taking the
turn triumphantly to Devoe as I pleasurably sip my 120 proof coffee.
His face falls. He has sense enough to know he's been beaten. I'm
hoping he's thinking war, not battle. I'm not going through this shit
cannot believe what I'm hearing.
left your keys back at the base? You're just working this out NOW?"
Okay. I know that sounds distinctly accusatory. I know I'm glaring.
Jack's stricken face is SO not melting my heart. Cold hands, cold
heart. Cold everything. The heavens opened during the drive home and
now it's raining so hard the drops are bouncing back up off the
pavement. Naturally, he didn't work out the keys were missing until we
were actually AT the door. In the rain.
wasn't very confident of my physical appeal to start with, but now,
when we're both soaked to the skin.I'm miserably conscious I resemble
nothing so much as a six foot drowned rat. I'm sure Jack will find me
totally resistible. I have to face facts. So far, he's got a perfect
track record in resisting my so-called charms. I can't help the sigh
that wells up out of my depths.
looks even more guilty, tries his pockets one more time, comes up
empty. Again. Then he mutters something about the back seat and plunges
off towards the Explorer. I huddle into the miniscule shelter offered
in the doorway and wait with iron patience while he conducts a frenzied
search of the debris on the back seat. He emerges with a cry of
triumph, waving the keys at me.
little, too late, Jack.
sidles past me, keeping a respectful distance as he opens the door. He
ushers me in with a flourish. As I stalk past him, I think he realises
I'm nowhere near forgiving him. His face falls. Good. I'm mad as hell
and, worse, the lengthy wait has encouraged my nervousness to begin the
slow escalation into sheer terror.
hover near the door, dripping. Glaring. I daren't move because my
fumble at the light switch yielded no visible results. It's pitch dark.
the switch, Danny."
light is on."
flat little comment falls into a pool of thoughtful silence.
Guess the kitchen guys haven't finished. Don't worry. Just stay put.
I've got some candles."
put? Talk about pointless advice. I'm not budging. The only place a
normal person can wander round safely in the dark is their own place.
If I try it here I'll probably end up in a concussed heap on the coffee
table after plummeting down the stairs.
while away the time by trying to wring some of the excess moisture out
of my sweater. It's useless. The damn thing has absorbed so much water
it probably weighs more than I do. I give in, wrench off my jacket and
throw it down on the floor. The mood I'm in, if I was twenty years
younger I'd stamp on it.
get a good grip on the bottom of the sweater and start to ease it up. I
have to peel it away from my clammy skin and of course I hear Jack
coming back just as I have most of it over my face. Then it won't
budge. I'm swearing in a variety of languages and wrestling with it as
I become aware of him standing close to me. It's unnerving, I can't see
him and he isn't speaking. I can hear him breathing though.
bloody typical. Why can I never just be charming and graceful?
voice is muffled in swathes of wet wool as I have to beg plaintively,
doesn't exactly rush to my assistance. In fact, he doesn't move at all
until I hear a pained yelp and a word he doesn't normally use around
me. I guess he got burnt by dripping candle wax.
you right." I say vengefully.
a bit of a clatter as he bangs down whatever he's using to hold the
candle and a moment later I can feel his body heat. His hands gently
remove mine from the sweater and then he manages to get his thumbs
under the recalcitrant neck, stretching it. I feel the warmth of his
skin against my throat as he glides the wool up over my chin.
say, "I can take it from here," but he pays no attention. I emerge,
blinking and very ruffled, into a now candle lit world. We're standing
close enough to kiss but...well, we don't. My self-confidence slips
another notch or two as Jack hands me my sweater and steps back out of
my personal space.
going to light the fire. You're shivering."
nerves, desire. My nerves are thrumming like a plucked string. Jack
seems happy to have some distance between us as he makes himself busy
at the fireplace. I start to distribute the candles strategically
around the room. I'm trying for a romantic ambience but most of the
candles are propped up precariously in an assortment of pragmatic mugs
and glasses. I have to be careful where I put them, don't want to set
fire to anything accidentally if a candle topples out of its makeshift
glance at Jack repeatedly but I never catch him looking at me. I have
to admit defeat. The sight of my damp, half naked body clearly isn't
doing enough for Jack to make him want to come over here and do
something about it with me. I ask him, a little sadly, "Point me at the
clean sweats, will you?"
don't think it's my imagination. Jack definitely flinched when I said
that. He mumbles something about the laundry piling up and can't meet
say impatiently, "Anything will do, so long as it's clean."
gives me an odd look. "Anything?"
shrug. Maybe a hair shirt. That would fit my mood.
Help yourself to anything you find in the dresser."
don't know, I honestly don't know how I kept my hands off him. How I'm
keeping them off him. My heart nearly stopped when I came out of the
kitchen and laid eyes on ACRES of smooth, glistening, honey coloured
skin. I'd have tackled him to the ground and kissed his face off if the
damned candle hadn't picked that exact moment to drip molten wax all
over me and bring me to my senses.
have to exert every ounce of self-control. Easy stages, Jack. Easy
stages. I can't just leap from A, my best friend kindly driving me
home, to Z, bone melting sex. Not in the first two minutes. Got to work
Daniel up to it, get him to meet me somewhere in the vicinity of L.
Daniel is safely occupied, I dash off to the laundry room and shuck my
wet clothes. It's going to take Daniel at least two full circuits of my
dresser and the wardrobe before he accepts the jammies really are his
only option. At least they're still in the cellophane. The bottom half
at least. I'm pretty sure I cut up the top half to clean the windows
during a previous laundry crisis.
have to accept I'm shameless with anticipation. I can't wait to see
what Daniel looks like in those jammies or how mad he is he has to wear
hear a distant slam and haul ass back to the living room where I dive
onto the sofa and try to act like none of this was deliberate. Daniel
stalks into the room, favouring his right foot a little, and stands
over by the fire where I can fully appreciate the view. He looks
decidedly stormy and truly scrumptious. There are so many wonderful
sights screaming for my attention I hardly know where to begin. Bare
toes win out but it's a close run thing. Daniel's bare feet are so
endearing, the merest glimpse of them could melt the hardest of hearts.
thinking Devoe's heart is pretty stoney right now. Not only did I get
the guy, I added insult to injury and left the loser to pick up the tab.
got a grin spreading from ear to ear. I can feel it but can't seem to
stop it, even though I know it will annoy Daniel. It just keeps getting
away from me as I stare and stare and drink him in.
only thing marring my mood is Danny is holding the jammies up. I frown
a little. Am I getting fat?
most excitable part of me is getting thoroughly out of hand again as
Danny decides the only place he's comfortable is right there by the
fire. He limps a couple of steps and flops down on the hearthrug. He
settles himself and stretches out his legs. Then he flexes his foot and
winces a little. I'm totally mesmerised as he keeps arching his foot,
then curling up his toes, then arching again.
don't even realise my head is following every movement until he gives
me a sneaky look and says "If you can see it's hurting, why don't
sure he's got more to say but I'm on my knees with his foot cradled
tenderly in my hands before he can get the rest of the words out. I
think I may have come off as a tad too enthusiastic, so I say as
grudgingly as I can manage, "I guess a foot massage wouldn't hurt.
Can't have you on the sick list, can we? Janet would never let me hear
the end of it."
leans back on his elbows, just as grudgingly allowing me to massage his
foot. I ask where it hurts and he looks straight over my head as he
must have hurt it stumbling around in the dark in my bedroom. I'm too
smug right now to feel guilty. This is my first time up close and
personal with a part of Daniel I have long coveted. I massage every
perfect inch with firm, sure strokes, taking my time. In fact, I'm
making a real production number of it, but so long as Daniel isn't
objecting I'm happy to go on and on and on. I decide the other foot is
crying out for attention and before I know it, it's in my hands and I'm
stroking that one instead. Daniel is lying flat with an arm tucked
behind his head and an arm thrown across his eyes. He's breathing quite
hard. As for me, the firelight, being this close to him, having him so
relaxed.it's lulling me. Now I'm not so much massaging, more.caressing.
Not so much firm, more.languid. My touch gets more and more gentle
until it seems the most natural thing in the world to just use my lips
instead and I trail my tongue along the elegant curve of his instep.
goes absolutely still. So do I. Shit. Crap. Perfect, O'Neill. Just
perfect. Way to play it cool. You just HAD to kiss the foot before you
kissed the lips. Now he thinks he's got some repressed nutcase foot
fetishist on his.hands.
across the room in a heartbeat. I was prepared for some difficult
questions when I made my first move on Daniel. Like, how long had I
been feeling this way anyway, and why the hell hadn't I let him in on
it? At some point there would have to be, it's just a wild stab in the
dark here, Jack, but I'm guessing you've done some of this stuff
before. What took you so long to do it with me? I was ready to explain
stuff like that. Now I've got to get past downright weird shading into
am totally out of my depth on this one.
the.? Where'd he go?
open my eyes and he's nowhere to be seen. I know he can cover some
ground but this is ridiculous. He must have taken off at a dead run. I
snap bolt upright.
the hell did he go, and what the hell do I have to DO? I've just laid
myself out in front of him, offered myself up on a plate, given him
exactly what he wanted. I admit, I'm a little surprised by which part
of me he wanted, but still, I put my best foot forward. My reward? He
takes one tiny nibble from the palpably not very tempting dish of the
day and bolts. Just as I'm starting to get all warm and...and WILLING.
Way to inspire me with confidence, Jack. The sonovabitch hasn't even
kissed me yet!
I can't remember which leg I'm supposed to be limping with. I have to
think about it for so long I've given him plenty of time to get himself
nicely settled at the dining table.
I limp rapidly up the stairs and join him I see he's made himself
useful. He's got a very large whiskey and a very small screwdriver.
He's tightening up that loose screw for me. He hands my glasses to me
without a word, without making eye contact.
I put them on I'm so mad I can't bring myself to speak. What is this?
Colonels don't make passes at guys who wear glasses?
heart is sinking. I'm starting to wonder if I've been misreading the
signals. Tonight wasn't just about Jack being dog in the manger, was it?
rally slightly. Jack licked my foot. He LICKED my foot. That's a
definite signal. It might just mean he has a thing about feet in
general and mine were just convenient. I'd much rather it was only MY
feet he has a thing for. Me he has a thing for. Maybe, with sufficient
encouragement, I can get him to lick something else?
cast about desperately for a suitably encouraging signal even Jack
can't miss. Or ignore. My repertoire is severely limited in this
respect. Short of throwing myself at him bodily the only thing I can
come up with is throwing Alex to the wolves. I decide to pour some oil
on Jack's internal fires.
say softly, compellingly, "Jack."
looks up reluctantly but still won't meet my eyes. He says softly,
need your advice. I don't know what to do."
braces himself as I say quietly, "In the cold light of day I'll have to
deal with the fact an Air Force colonel kissed me tonight. First time
it's ever happened. I mean, I've known YOU for years, and you've NEVER
shoulders hunch and he resorts to some Dutch courage. I let him take a
few sips before I go innocently on, "So what should I do tomorrow,
Jack? About this colonel who kissed me?" I guess he needs all the help
he can get because he drains the glass in one gulp and opens his mouth
to answer me as I go on in dulcet tones, "Kissed me right on
gleefully watch as this sinks in. Jack's jaw drops, then he stiffens
alarmingly, slams the glass down and howls, "I'll fucking kill the
so much flames as a pyroclastic eruption.
freezes and goes very red in the face. He can't tear his eyes away from
mine and he can't think of a single thing to say. His mouth just keeps
opening and closing without any recognisable words coming out.
decide, the hell with it. Faint heart never won fair colonel.
pull my glasses off and send them skidding dramatically away as I take
the path of least resistance to Jack. Straight across the table top. I
reach down and grab him by the neck of his sweatshirt and drag him
forcefully up to meet me as I kiss him madly, clinging to his lips like
a limpet for a few of the most terrifying moments of my life.
release him just as abruptly as I grabbed him. He drops limply back
into his chair. I'm breathing hard, trying not to mind how stunned he
looks, praying I haven't just humiliated myself beyond all possibility
of recovery. I scowl down at him and say provocatively, "Too subtle for
me out, Jack, for God's sake! I'm dyin' here...
his face lights up and he's growling at me, bounding to his feet,
yanking me straight off the table and into his willing, waiting arms. I
have no time for anything but a startled yelp, then I'm cradled on his
lap like he owns me. His hand is on my butt and his tongue is slipping
down my throat easier than those oysters did.
WILD for me, kissing me like he will never have enough of me. I go from
willing to wanting to desperate all in the space of a few seconds,
carried away on the floodtide. This first time, I can't do anything but
hold on, kiss him back as best he'll let me as I try to ride out the
force of his passion.
doesn't back off until the breath sobs in my throat and only then does
he come up for air, crushing me to his chest. I'm bound by arms of
steel, cradled as gently as any child, secure in my absolute trust of
have to be the one to say it. The lightest of touches sets me free. His
hands stay on me as I stand and then sit astride him, so we're face to
face. I settle my arms around his neck, as his arms reach eagerly back
around me and hug me closer. His face is alight, his eyes as warm and
unguarded as I' ve ever seen them, an irrepressible smile tugging the
corners of his mouth as he leans in for another kiss.
love you." I manage to gasp it out as his lips close purposefully on
mine. I'm lost once he touches me, his tenderness telling me he loves
me too, how much and how long he's needed to have me here with him like
this. We kiss and kiss, tongues curling sweetly, exploring gently,
roaming over the roughness of teeth and soft, sensitive palettes. A
moment or two to catch our breath and we dive in again. And again.
he can finally bear to let ME go, I'm wrapped around him and I'm not
letting HIM go anytime soon. My legs are hooked comfortably around the
back of the chair, which he seems to thoroughly approve of.
have a huge smile. I guess I look pretty dopey but he doesn't seem to
mind. He gives me the sweetest of smiles right back as he strokes the
hair back from my temple. Then his hands start to wander down. I can't
understand why he's never worn these jammies. He can't resist stroking
them, especially the bits filled with my butt and my thighs.
have something on my mind. I say enviously, "Y'know, if I'd tried a
move like that, we'd have ended up flat on our asses."
looks smug and tells me meaningfully, "You ain't seen nothin' yet."
beginning to wonder where we go from here when he shows me an entirely
new move, slipping his hand down under the jammies and onto my butt. I
jump a little, I can't help it. Skin on skin, his on mine, it's
so.intimate. I start to fret he's going to stop this right here when
his eyes search mine. My smile slips. He can't possibly miss how turned
on I am, I couldn't be any closer to him unless I was in those sweats
with him. I hope he doesn't mistake first time nerves for...for
reluctance. I want him to touch me, I want to tell him so but the words
won't come. They're stuck in my throat along with my heart.
says quietly, not a hint of reproach in his voice, "Don't worry,
Daniel. We don't have to make love just because I want to. I've waited
this long, I can wait a while longer, until you're ready. Until you
want me too."
love? Isn't that what we're...? Oh.
gulp and then, of course, I'm blushing again. Okay. Okay. I won't be
asking Jack why he's held back so long. Might turn out to have
something to do with my appallingly clueless naïveté. None
of this should be coming as a complete shock to me. No wonder Jack goes
from 0 to over-protective in 60 seconds.
gives me one final little caress and then regretfully removes his hand.
I nuzzle into that same hand as he cups my face gently. Then I take it,
kiss the palm and put it firmly back on my butt.
I would quite like it to stay until I say otherwise, Jack, thanks all
wiggle my butt encouragingly. I'm not taking any chances.
say sternly, "I'm not making love with a mother-hen."
trying desperately not to let on how disappointed I am Danny isn't
ready for more than a little kissing and cuddling when my brain finally
engages and what he actually means sinks in. Sometimes Danny has a
little trouble making the jump from the abstract to the concrete.
Sometimes I can be a tad overpro...all right already!...psychotically
over-protective where my boy is concerned.
little misunderstanding is classic for both of us.
brighten up considerably, and, as always, my tactical response is
flawless. My hand slips enthusiastically back under the jammies and
curves possessively around one very pert, satiny buttock. Daniel sighs
decide if I'm going to shock him, I might as well go the whole hog.
other hand explores the inviting hardness I feel pressing up against me.
eyes widen as he feels me avidly stroking him through the butter-soft
jammies. They get even wider when I slip my hand under the material and
take the heated, velvety length of him in my hand.
beautiful mouth forms a perfect 'O' of astonishment and I kiss him
deeply again, keeping up a gentle, rhythmic stroking the whole time. He
doesn't know what to do with himself. His hips rock compulsively
against my hand one moment, he's forcing himself to be still the next.
Kissing me desperately all the while.
think about how terribly long it's been since my Danny was touched with
love and respect. Yet he's holding himself back now because he doesn't
want to be selfish.
want to bring him this pleasure, for his sake as well for mine. I want
to make love to him so badly it's burning me up inside. This
overwhelming passion I feel for him has to be tempered by his
inexperience. I know the more relaxed I can get him to feel now, the
more pleasure he'll get from our lovemaking.
whisper an appeal, "Let go for me, Danny. For me? Please."
feel a terrible shiver go right through him, then he gives in to his
need and my desire. I kiss him lovingly, an arm supporting him as he
thrusts into my hand, tentatively at first, then with increasing
urgency. I know he won't last long at this rate, but I won't hold him
back. I match the pace he sets, treasuring every moment of his
surrender to pleasure, to me. Suddenly his back arches, he groans into
my mouth and I catch him as he convulses and falls for me. I hold him
tight, tell him over and over how much he is loved, needed, wanted.
home now, Daniel. Home with me, where you belong."
couldn't be any sweeter if he tried. He smiles tremulously and murmurs,
"You ARE home to me, Jack."
flush with pleasure and try to cover it, saying gruffly, "Don't think
you can wheedle your way round ME with sweet talk, Daniel Jackson. I'm
wise to your tricks."
and I both know he's got me wrapped round his little finger, but he
allows me my self-delusion. He lifts his face for another kiss, and I'm
more than happy to take the most luscious mouth I've ever had the
privilege of tasting. Kissing Daniel could so easily become a full time
wiped my hand surreptitiously on my sweatshirt. When he's ready to let
go I ease him back to pull it over my head and drop it to the floor.
gets an eyeful of the O'Neill welcome wagon. I'm touched he so
obviously likes what he sees. He perks up visibly, post-orgasmic
shyness forgotten as he decides to thoroughly investigate this
unfamiliar terrain. He's blowing thoughtfully on a nipple when I
finally manage to peel him gently off me and lower his hand to a
concrete reminder there are two of us to play this game.
blushes rosily and eyes me speculatively as I say firmly, "Bed." I'm
not sure my knees can take much more. He's no featherweight and I'm
too...mature...to have sex on a chair.
stands up to give me some room for manoeuvre, but keeps shooting me
little glances from eyes filled with mischief. He's got something on
suddenly notice he's not limping anymore. Either I've got healing hands
on your mind, Daniel?" I ask him cheerfully.
hangs his head and looks shy. He's reluctant to say but when I push him
it all comes out in a rush.
was just wondering, you don't have to if you don't want, I mean, it
just kept coming into my mind in the restaurant. I thought you actually
might at one point...I find the thought very appealing...so will you?
on your mind, Daniel?" I ask him again, with obvious patience this time.
mentally replays what he just asked me and blurts out, "Carry me."
give him such a blank look he feels compelled to add, "To bed."
shift my gaze downwards and say sympathetically, "Foot still hurting,
has the grace to hang his head but a moment later he's all bright eyes
and eagerness. I can no more resist a playful Daniel than I can resist
breathing. I'm glad I haven't mentioned my knees or his weight.
step smartly forward and sling him up over my shoulder, settle his
weight and stride off towards my bedroom. I can hear him chuckling and
decide now is the perfect time to raise a few points. The restaurant,
silence, if anything, intensifies.
kissing you, Daniel?"
says smugly, "Well, it took some work, but you did. And how!"
meant DEVOE kissing you, as you very well know. Don't play the
chuckles again as I shove the bedroom door open, "I never mentioned
Alex at all. That was just your interpretation. You never hear of open
questions, Jack? Designed to elicit an honest opinion. No?"
smile fondly. The little shit. I was honest alright. I have to admire
his tactics. I kick the door shut, let out a rebel yell so loud and
primal it makes him yelp again, then I throw him down on the bed so
hard he bounces and bursts out laughing.
still laughing when I pull off my sweats, stops laughing when I pull
off his jammies. Cheats outrageously and kisses me enthusiastically
when I drop down on top of him and pin him to the bed. I've got his
arms pinioned above his head. I immediately release him as he flexes
his wrists uncertainly. He understands at once I'm playing, too. He
relaxes and that delicious chuckle sounds again as I recapture him and
pin him flat once more. He's thoroughly enjoying himself. Me too.
tussle gently back and forth, hands and lips everywhere we can reach,
and when I can, without being too obvious about it, I let him break
free and roll me onto my back. I'm bigger, stronger and meaner than
Daniel but those things don't have any place in our bed. I love him, so
he gets to win if he wants to.
there are definite compensations to being on the losing side. Daniel's
tongue quests towards my lungs. While I'm still breathless he snuggles
into my chest, so sure of his welcome he reduces me to jello. Then he
goes on the offensive.
exercise my right to remain silent.
I'm not gonna be drawn on that one either.
look scrumptious in them." I say defiantly. I'm going to buy him lots
more, first chance I get. He looks adorable and sexy as hell in jammies
and it's the most fun I've had in years getting him out of them. He'll
get over it in time. Meanwhile, I get to enjoy all the pouting.
head snaps up and he scowls at me. "Scrumptious?"
wink at him and kindly point out the obvious, "You're beautiful, you
know. Well, no, I take that back. You're the only one who doesn't know."
are. Ask anyone."
easy. Try Hammond."
reels from that mental picture for a moment, then rallies. "Feet, Jack?"
pleading the fifth. My attorney will be entering a plea of temporary
sanity real soon. Daniel's feet will be Defence Exhibit #1.
looks sulky so of course I have to roll him back underneath me and kiss
the pout right off his face. He's boneless beneath me when I can't
ignore the insistent demands from my body any longer. I reach into the
nightstand for the lube. He's as relaxed and trusting as he can be.
say sincerely, "I want to make love with you, Daniel. I'm telling you
now, you can trust me. If you want me to stop at ANY time, I stop. No
questions, no recriminations. I stop. Okay?"
have to be sure. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting him and I know
how easy it is to hurt someone when you love them this way. Especially
when you want them THIS much. I want him doing this cause it pleases
him, not cause it pleases me.
I know I can trust you, Jack."
spoon up behind him on the bed and whisper, "I'll be gentle. Just relax
and open for me. That's all you have to do." I start to kiss the nape
of his neck and trail my lips down into the tender hollow between
throat and shoulder. I kiss, lick and nibble at his throat until he's
squirming. Only then do I carefully slide a lube coated finger inside
him. He gasps at the sensations I'm arousing but doesn't tense up. I'm
thrilled by the absolute trust and confidence he has in me.
take my time preparing him, making it as pleasurable as possible for
him, hitting his prostate over and over again. I never stop kissing
him, my other hand caressing every single part of him I can reach. When
he's moaning and gasping into my mouth, pushing back against my
fingers, as slick, relaxed and willing as it's possible for him to be,
I can't wait any longer.
turn him to face me and search his eyes, "Are you ready, Daniel? Sure
you want this?"
I love you, Jack. Love you."
eyes are glittering with a desire mirroring my own. Reassured, I roll
onto my back and gently urge him to sit astride me. I want to see him
as we make love and this first time has to be as easy for him as
possible. We have to build a new kind of trust between us, set new
boundaries. It's important to me he feels in control of his own body,
knows we are equals in this.
hold his gaze and tell him again how much I love him as I guide him
into position and enter him oh so slowly. He can't tear his eyes from
mine, staring at me like I'm the most amazing thing he's ever seen. I
feel on top of the world. He's doing terrible things for what some
consider to be an already over-inflated ego.
keep my hands on his hips, helping to steady him, but it's Danny who
sets the pace. As it should be. He eases down on me agonisingly slowly,
gets comfortable, eases a little further down. I scan his face, those
glorious eyes, over and over for signs of pain or refusal. I see
nothing but his love and need for me. Maybe it's all he'll let me see.
I'm content to follow his lead. He isn't content until I'm buried in
him to the root.
both overwhelmed by the sensations flooding through us. The tight,
silky heat surrounding me is almost unbearably intense. Daniel rests
his hands on my abdomen, eyes closed, shaking with reaction to me
completely filling parts of him he didn't know he had until now.
stay absolutely still for what seems an eternity to me. I've exhausted
every scrap of self-control in me; I'm dying of need when he finally
starts to move, very slowly and carefully.
GOOD at provoking Danny. "Beautiful," I insist.
your mouth. That lush, kissable curve."
moving more confidently now.
it, that's right, love, just right. It's supposed to feel this good,
you're supposed to feel this pleasure.
lift my knees so he can brace his back against them but I'm holding
still until I'm sure I won't hurt him. I'm on sensory overload as it is.
have it on the best authority." I say primly.
stops for a moment and glares at me suspiciously, "On whose authority?"
would KILL for your eyelashes."
displays his youthful suppleness to great effect, shutting me up with a
passionate kiss. I respond enthusiastically and risk a gentle thrust in
counterpoint to Daniel. He gasps, his eyes widening again. Yep. That
hit the spot alright. I try another gentle thrust as he comes down to
my name. Don't wear it out."
loving is slow and subtle, infinitely satisfying. I want this to last
forever. I want to be inside my love forever. Danny is arching his back
with every thrust, so satisfied he's almost purring, trying different
angles, enjoying all the wonderful new sensations. We kiss and touch as
tease him mercilessly.
silky hair. Exquisitely arched brows."
stills and clenches around me. I almost come on the spot and yelp,
"Jeez-us! Warn a guy before you do that, will ya? My heart can only
stand so much excitement."
let him think he's won. He relaxes and goes back to driving me out of
my mind and him into my soul.
and acres of flawless skin."
moving more urgently now, riding out the waves of pleasure as I thrust
into him, his eyes closing, moaning and whimpering my name over and
both sweating freely and I for one am getting breathless. The pleasure
is crashing through me. I reach out and take his shaft in my hand,
stroke him urgently.
butt...that redefines...pert...Oh Jesus, DANNY!" I come so hard I'm
screaming and Daniel is only a beat behind me, tightening around me as
he feels my heat pouring into him, then his is pouring onto me.
catch him as he frees himself and tumbles down on top of me. I need to
keep my eyes shut until the room stops spinning so I just hug him to me
and kiss the aforementioned soft, silky hair, currently tickling my
chin. We cling together until we can both see straight again and he
tells me, just in case I missed it,
love you. And...Thank you. It was...we...YOU...mmm." He just trails off
into dreamy, contemplative silence.
terrible things he's doing for my ego. I'll be no good to man nor
beast, I get much more of this.
back atcha. And then some. You okay?"
put on a hurt voice. "Just checking."
from HELL is muttered into my chest. Get used to it, kid. PLENTY more
where that came from. Been saving it up, for years, all for you. One of
us has to have the sense to carry the other in out of the rain.
decided what to do in the cold light of day about that Air Force
colonel. The one who kissed me tonight."
try to sound casual as I say, "Okay. Wanna fill me in?"
going to get him to kiss me again. And again. And again."
love you too, Jack. Now shut up and let me sleep."
On to Solace
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